What would men like to see in a romance? [Archive]

zeprosnepsid

05-04-2008, 11:56 PM

I'm not a man, but if you want to see some good romance, you should check out Korean films made between like 1998-2005 (the last couple years of films in Korea have not been as strong). The Koreans have absolutely perfected the Romance genre (and Romantic Comedy). I would actually suggest watching some Korean dramas (television shows that are all written and directed by the same team, with a beginning, middle and end story), but they are pretty long. Either way, they've taken a genre that is sort of a b-genre now in America, and really made it respectable.

And while it's certainly worthwhile to get men's opinion on Romance movies, you should probably keep in mind that 80% of your audience will be female. But for a recent Romance film that guys like you can check out Eternal Sunshine. And Malkovich is also technically a *spoiler* Lesbian romance film when you get down to it.

Korean films include Il Mare (which was remade as the Lake House), Oasis (about a mentally challenged man and a woman with cerebral palsy, kind of hard to watch at times but kind of brilliant), Failan (about two people who fall in love without ever meeting, I'm not sure it entirely succeeds, but it's sure interesting), Christmas in August, there's a gaggle. I certainly recommend My Sassy Girl if you are thinking of Rom-Com at all (it was evidently disastrously remade and has been on the shelf here for 2 years). If you are interested, either do a power search on IMDB for genre: Romance and Language: Korean. Or you can get a start on this great page: http://www.koreanfilm.org/

kullervo

05-05-2008, 01:13 AM

Gunfire.

NikeeGoddess

05-05-2008, 01:14 AM

Titanic, the notebook, bridges of madison countythese are definitely flicks with strong male romantic leads. i think that's where you need to start if you want to appeal to men. clint eastwood in love? how can you go wrong with that appeal?

sideways and lost in translation are other good (male lead)flicks to check out if you don't mind the comedic aspect.

don juan demarco (johnny depp) was very romantic.

punch drunk love is my favorite adam sandler flick. who woulda thunk?

and then of course you have that cowboy love, brokeback mountain. everybody loves a sexy cowboy ;)

DWSTXS

05-05-2008, 01:17 AM

I just want a woman who is not overly infatuated with unrealistic gestures that never happen in real life.

I thought 'Sideways' was very well done.

odocoileus

05-05-2008, 04:50 AM

Gunfire.

And female nudity.

And dick jokes.

She_wulf

05-05-2008, 05:23 AM

And female nudity.

And dick jokes.
Motorcycles and shotguns

Wait a minute, I'm on the wrong team aren't I?

Seriously, IMO guys thought Star Wars (4,5,6) was romantic. Han Solo did what again? He scowled, called Leia derogatory names, acted like an ass and still saved the day all while scratching himself, gee...if that isn't real life IDK what is. The goofy look on his face when Leia told him Luke was his brother was worth all the chaos for us gals.

I almost believe men are more subtle than women when it comes to romance. For instance, Clark Gable can get away with, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." and men understand that much better than women. I mean Scarlet put that poor sap through hell and back, he constantly showed up to save her stupid Southern Belle tail and the thanks he gets? Ashley Wilks. GACK!

I guess that's why I'm not married, huh?

KTC

05-05-2008, 05:41 AM

A lack of predictability.

Haggis

05-05-2008, 05:56 AM

A lack of predictability.

Exactly. Might as well keep it true to life, eh?

IceCreamEmpress

05-05-2008, 06:11 AM

Lots of my male friends liked Sideways and High Fidelity.

My husband hated them both, because he thought the protagonists acted like jerks and the love interests put up with too much crap from them.

drevil915

05-05-2008, 07:01 AM

Cool. I'd just really like to turn this whole genre on its head. I know I can't please everyone and I don't even want to, but I'd like this script/film to be as real as possible, and as differnt as possible, but still feel familiar.

Hmm...now how would you feel if the female lead was the jerk to the guy?

Gary

05-05-2008, 07:20 AM

Sideways is on my top ten list of alltime favorites, but I can't tell you why, though I think the casting was perfect. The Bridges of Madison County was a great story, but in my opinion, the movie was mis-cast. I liked Titanic, but didn't much care for the actors.

I like romantic movies where the story resemble the lives of real people. I also like some humor in the mix, but no slapstick. I always liked Cary Grant movies. He was classy without arrogance, and despite his high-brow accent, he usually played the role of an everyday guy. You also never saw him scratch, belch or pass gas. I can't think of a single young actor today who has an ounce of class.

Too much sex, excessive foul language, urinal scenes, scatological humor, wimpish men, macho men, over-pretty women, whiners of either sex, political commentary...they all turn me off.

Okieslims

05-05-2008, 09:42 AM

I think men like to see both sides. Not just a sappy girl perspective. The Break Up is a good example. I don't watch many romances, but if I do, it is ussually something that shows a little bit of the guys perspective in a way that is believable.

As far as the girl being a jerk to the guy.. thats not so uncommon. I've seen it in quite a few movies like that. Great Expectations comes to mind off the bat. Ussually the girl being the jerk has a small roll though. Especially in romantic movies where 90% of the audience is going to be female. They don't want to see the girl as the villian anymore than guys want to sit and watch a girl empowerment film where a female over comes being in a relationship with a complete ass.

Mac H.

05-05-2008, 10:43 AM

I'd like to get some ords from guys, and see what you'd like in a romance? What would make you enjoy one?Isn't that like asking the Amish what they'd like to see in porn ?

Sure, they may be an untapped market, but adjusting porn to suit this new market may just annoy the existing viewers and still fail to get Amish to buy the DVD.

The comparison is a little unfair, because guys will go to see romances as long as the girl they are interested in goes to see it. As long as she's happy, and it makes the guy look deep and considerate by taking her to it, then the guy will be happy.

Mac

IceCreamEmpress

05-05-2008, 11:02 AM

guys will go to see romances as long as the girl they are interested in goes to see it

I think the question was about male-focused romance/rom coms like Sideways, High Fidelity, Fever Pitch, Hitch and so on.

Of course, all of those except High Fidelity feature plain-looking, dull men bagging gorgeous, fascinating women. Perhaps this is what men want from romance/romcom?

Ken

05-05-2008, 11:09 AM

"Adrianne!; Adrianne!"

"Rocky!; Rocky!"

triceretops

05-05-2008, 12:28 PM

Romance is great with me. Just give me a thrill ride--action adventure, a quest, a mystery to be solved thrown into the mix to heighten the tension, bringing the couple together. Danger increases sexual tension. Make it difficult or inconvienent for them to consummate, but ultimately, let them have a passionate interlude--but hold out on that and make it special. Flirt, tease. Hang it out there like a slab of raw meant in front of Pavalov's dog, denying the favor until it is well earned.

Tri

JoNightshade

05-05-2008, 12:37 PM

"Adrianne!; Adrianne!"

"Rocky!; Rocky!"

Um, I'm not a guy, but... yeah. This is it, right there. :)

She_wulf

05-05-2008, 05:14 PM

...

Hmm...now how would you feel if the female lead was the jerk to the guy?
How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days
Wedding Crashers

There's quite a few examples of this really.

poetinahat

05-05-2008, 05:27 PM

Of course, all of those except High Fidelity feature plain-looking, dull men bagging gorgeous, fascinating women. Perhaps this is what men want from romance/romcom?
What the...? No. Well, not everyone anyway.

I guess the presumption here is that men will think, "Hey, I know I'm plain and dull, but I could score big too." Tell you what: PT Barnum said that no one ever went broke underestimating the public's intelligence; he didn't predict the same success in underestimating their self-esteem.

Sure, at some level, many guys want to be that kid in American Pie (the one who gets Stifler's Mom). But ask which they'd prefer between him and James Bond.

Then again, Friends and Sex and the City give me hives.

Big_Al

05-05-2008, 06:48 PM

So I've been writing this romance screenplay and subsequently watching romance movies: Titanic, the notebook, bridges of madison county, etc. to get a feel on the genre.

However, romance today has become synonomous with "mush" and chick-flick" and "kleenex movies."

I'd like to get some ords from guys, and see what you'd like in a romance? What would make you enjoy one?

Thanks

-Jason

I think you should start by reading (not watching) the screenplays to those movies, except Titanic. Jimmy doesn't write spec scripts. This should give you a better feel on writing a romance. I recommend Love Story, Somewhere in Time and for some reason I love Han Solo and Princes Leia.

jennontheisland

05-05-2008, 07:36 PM

Set it in a post apocalyptic environment and include a kick ass monster and spaceships. Stuff blowing up is always good. Break up the big dramatic scenes with touches of comedy. A kick ass heroine, who can hold her own in a gunfight, and in the bedroom.

ETA: I'm a girl, but in movies I generally prefer car chases to kisses in the rain.

Higgins

05-05-2008, 07:56 PM

I just want a woman who is not overly infatuated with unrealistic gestures that never happen in real life.

I thought 'Sideways' was very well done.

I pretty much agree. I think men would like some realism with respect to
what women really like...which would make a more entertaining movie since from what I have seen, in an actual romance, lots of women are just as interested in the outrageous adventure aspects of romance as men are. In some ways I'm sort of suggesting:

a) think of all the ways you can make sexual encounters a lot more interesting than pornography
b) think of the real problems of two people with complex lives and lots of earlier romantic histories...getting down to basics and then ending up
at point a)

IceCreamEmpress

05-05-2008, 10:33 PM

I guess the presumption here is that men will think, "Hey, I know I'm plain and dull, but I could score big too."

I didn't put a ;) so I guess the sarcasm wasn't obvious.

NikeeGoddess

05-05-2008, 11:46 PM

oh, were you being sarcastic?

anyhoo - it's just a coincidence i suppose but i just wrote a couple in a story where he is fat and unattractive and she is quite the opposite and high maintenance. but, i put a reason for her wanting this man in the story. she confesses to him that she knew he had such low self-esteem that he would do anything, give her anything in order to keep her.

another take: great looks and 6-pack abs get real old when the guy is a jerk. some beautiful women know this and it oftentimes makes people wonder what she sees in him.
it would be nice to see more of this the other way around (and maybe we do) but men seem to be more superficial when it comes to looks... well, at least they do in the movies.

icerose

05-06-2008, 12:54 AM

Well I'm a girl but I hate most romantic movies. I need movies to have a point beyond just the chemistry.

I love Ever After. I thought it was a brilliant film. Star Wars (the originals) I loved the situation between the two.

Count of Monte Cristo. I loved it. I guess I'm saying when romance is the only aim, I'm bored to death. But give me a bigger story, a deeper story that's fascinating with good deep characters that have this chemistry behind it and you have something akin to magic.

Higgins

05-06-2008, 01:15 AM

slcboston

05-06-2008, 01:21 AM

I prefer the romantic movies that are *smart* which the preponderance of them are not. (Same for sit-coms, come to think of it.) I also tend to prefer the ones which break the mold a bit - I like "High Fidelity" but wouldn't really classify it as a "romantic" movie even though it is about relationships.

So, brains, a non-cliched plot, a semi-happy or at least ambiguous ending (please, no depressing or sad endings - it's one of the reasons I won't watch Chinese films. They all end BADLY. Hero dies. Girl/boy love interest dies. Hero goes crazy. Boy/Girl love interest goes crazy. Hero goes crazy, *then* dies. etc.)

Also, judicious amounts of good nudity (e.g. Catherine Zeta Jones, not Paul Giamatti) doesn't hurt. :D

IceCreamEmpress

05-06-2008, 01:36 AM

Hmmm...well if women are 80% of the audience, then maybe they are demanding dull men?

I don't think women were anywhere near 80% of the audience for those particular movies. I'd be surprised if they were half of the audience.

I like "High Fidelity" but wouldn't really classify it as a "romantic" movie even though it is about relationships.

I don't know how else you could characterize it, but I think you're right that movies about men's relationship angst vis-a-vis women are less likely to be characterized as "romance" or "romcom" than the reverse.

zeprosnepsid

05-06-2008, 03:30 AM

I think clearly women are the audience for romance films, look at how many women have replied to this thread about what men like in romance films. That should tell you something.

Even Titanic, with all the action and epicness, the box office was over 60% female.

I disagree with wanting realistic movies. I actually thought The Break Up was boring because it was too realistic. I have real relationships, I don't want to watch them in my spare time.

And yeah, Ever After is the best movie ever. I've watched it about 60 million times. I don't think it reflects what men want in a romantic movie though.

WriteKnight

05-06-2008, 04:24 AM

I'll tell you what men want in a 'romantic' film.

They want to find out that the best ATTRACTIVE female friend they have, is sexually interested in them - and wants to have a relationship.

That's what men want to find out in a "Romantic Film ", Charlie Brown.

What they DON'T want to find out is the best UNATTRACTIVE female friend wants the same relationship.

(Snark off)

Mac H.

05-06-2008, 05:23 AM

One 'romance' film that worked well for me was the 'Romancing the Stone', and, of course, 'Jewel of the Nile'.

From the female character's POV in the film, it was a romance.
From the male character's POV in the film, it was an action adventure.

Mac

slcboston

05-06-2008, 05:25 AM

What they DON'T want to find out is the best UNATTRACTIVE female friend wants the same relationship.

(Snark off)

None of my female friends are what I'd call "unattractive."

Of course, none of them are interested in me, either. :D

FinbarReilly

05-06-2008, 11:07 AM

Here's what I (as a guy) want in a romance: A smart woman who's not afraid of getting her hands dirty and wants to truly equal (not superior to the guy or supporting the guy, but a full partner). I hate women in the movies that are just MacGuffins (without them, there would be no reason for the guy to get interested); she can a damsel in distress, but she has to actually help to get back. Princess Fiona (Shrek) is probably the best example.

At the same time, I'm really starting to get annoyed with women that are just as sexist as the men. If we get into an argument, I want to be able to win, but I don't mind losing to someone with a superior logic. Just don't assume that it will be her...Give me Ripley over Tomb Raider any day.

Does that make any sense?

FR

Higgins

05-06-2008, 05:59 PM

I don't think women were anywhere near 80% of the audience for those particular movies. I'd be surprised if they were half of the audience.

I don't know how else you could characterize it, but I think you're right that movies about men's relationship angst vis-a-vis women are less likely to be characterized as "romance" or "romcom" than the reverse.

I think clearly women are the audience for romance films, look at how many women have replied to this thread about what men like in romance films. That should tell you something.

Even Titanic, with all the action and epicness, the box office was over 60% female.

I disagree with wanting realistic movies. I actually thought The Break Up was boring because it was too realistic. I have real relationships, I don't want to watch them in my spare time.

And yeah, Ever After is the best movie ever. I've watched it about 60 million times. I don't think it reflects what men want in a romantic movie though.

I'm thinking that for men...romance is a bit more multifacited than it is for women. For example, realistically, a dull man just needs to get a lot of money and be a lot less dull if he is going to pursue relatively attractive women...not only that but he has to do some serious thinking. That's the realistic side that I think men might like: How does now-not-so-dull Mister X figure out how to get what he wants? How does he figure out what he wants? What is it really that he wants? How does he do all that and at the same time become what a particular woman wants? Usually a film tends to give the MC a mentor...but what about trying to show realistically how the dull guy gets rolling? I mean once he has his money.

drevil915

05-07-2008, 04:15 AM

At the same time, I'm really starting to get annoyed with women that are just as sexist as the men. If we get into an argument, I want to be able to win, but I don't mind losing to someone with a superior logic. Just don't assume that it will be her...Give me Ripley over Tomb Raider any day.

Does that make any sense?

Makes perfect sense. I was pleasantly surprised to have this many repsonses to the question, makes me feel a whole lot better about this script!

NealeSourna

05-11-2008, 02:49 AM

I like the "Somewhere In Time" mentioned above, which is relatively the same time-ish period morally and culturally as "Titanic"; with James Cameron ALL of his main films are romantic or have a good, strong romantic issue--"Abyss" and even "Aliens" with with our favorite survivor Ripley and her guy Hicks (Michael Biehn), who showed up in "Terminator" as Kyle, again romantic. The same actor written by the same writer-director protected his chosen her, guided her, and let her fight her own battles, and fought a few vicious ones himself, and had the physical scars ["Chicks did scars." --The Replacements] and emotional scars to prove it. Plus, he was stoic and a warrior and all the fun, classic guy stuff like having the biggest, baddest toys, guns, and an important goal, like saving the mother of the savior of the world. Geez, that's like saving the Holy Mother from all the evil in the universe.

Who wouldn't love that? Plus, a little sex--not with the Holy Mother, just a future mother with his baby, which keeps him in the game, after he's dead is way cool, too. Legacy is cool.

Anyway, I don't believe it's not necessarily realism that's required, it's male fantasy. Romance novels for men are Zane Grey, Louis Lamour, and that Bond guy. Romance for a lot of men you can sacrifice your leads dignity and tons of other things if you can be true, which doesn't always require realism (The Matrix x 3).

And yet, in the Cameron's "Abyss," our hero COULDN'T successfully throw his wedding band away (how many guys have a bitch of a significant other they'd still put their lives on the line for?), the same character inhaled water for her, and the same actor wore his wife's ugly vest while doing his duty ("Not on my watch.") in "Apollo 13."

And a bespectacled and "delicate" Malcolm McDowell faced Jack the Ripper himself and the clock and was completely disgraced, but he pushed on to rescue his lady, and the future, and take her home "Somewhere In Time."

Give the guy (character and viewer/reader) real feelings, real risks, real pain. Neo cried his burned out eyesockets out when Trinity died, and the same actor was shattered when his own hubris killed his loving, neglected, Lucifer raped, and suicided wife Charlize Theron in "The Devil's Advocate" and all these character men appreciated their women, so you get the female audience as well.

Melenka

05-11-2008, 05:43 AM

Well, my husband and I just watched P.S., I Love You and he really enjoyed it because it wasn't predictable and the relationships were realistic. He also liked Shall We Dance? despite having a low tolerance for J. Lo. I think when the guy has something to offer, and a conflict that is not really about the romance, and the woman is somewhat realistic, he enjoys rom coms more.

mario_c

05-11-2008, 06:50 AM

What about The Princess Bride? There is a chick flick this guy loves; funny, really moves fast, and still really a heartfelt and well done period piece. Also, check out Wings Of Desire sometime. That movie is brilliant. (Not the crap Meg Ryan remake please.)

Cheapthrill

05-20-2008, 02:45 PM

I guess keeping the necessity for Kleenex would be a good start.:tongue

I quite liked Stranger Than Fiction (Will Ferrell and Maggie Gyllenhaal).

Not sure how much this rings true for all men but I liked that Maggie's character was a fairly strong female character, almost his redemption.

High Fidelity was also good, though that makes me wonder given that I named 2 films with predominantly male POVs, do women like watching romantic films from a man's POV?

Not sure how relevant it is but I have to say, though well written, I really don't like Sex and the City. I kind of hate the idea that 100-200 years of progress has only meant instead of a chaste governess waiting for her Mr Rochester, you have sexually liberated women waiting for their 'Big'. Also I think 'Big' is a really crap metaphorical name. I only really mention that because the film is soon to be released and I am really not looking forward to being dragged out to see it.

zeprosnepsid

05-20-2008, 10:07 PM

I've heard a lot of men talk about how much they like the relationship in Stranger Than Fiction.

High Fidelity was also good, though that makes me wonder given that I named 2 films with predominantly male POVs, do women like watching romantic films from a man's POV?

Yes. If that man is John Cusack (Say Anything is also his POV) or Hugh Grant (About A Boy, 4 Weddings - both his POV).

Nakhlasmoke

05-20-2008, 10:34 PM

I hate romances and romantic comedies.

The only two romances I actually enjoyed were brokeback mountain (even if the first half was overly devoted to beans) and love, actually.

I generally don't enjoy them because it's all so stupid, everyone pretty (vacant), the themes so unbelievable and clichéd....at least that's what 90% of the genre seems like to me. But I'm a girl and supposedly the target audience of this kak so what do I know.

Things is, I don't have anything against romance as a plot element, and I love a bit of angsty brooding but current roms and romcoms just do nothing for me.

Maybe I'm watching the wrong things.

DWSTXS

05-20-2008, 10:40 PM

I think the question was about male-focused romance/rom coms like Sideways, High Fidelity, Fever Pitch, Hitch and so on.

Of course, all of those except High Fidelity feature plain-looking, dull men bagging gorgeous, fascinating women. Perhaps this is what men want from romance/romcom?

I think men want to know that the women they've convinced to be with them are better than they deserve to have. This makes them feel successful, like a big game hunter bagging a 'trophy'

we also want the women to be smart and gorgeous, but not so smart that they can figure out that they've just paid too much for this free agent. In effect, we want a first round pick who is okay with playing for a franchise that may not be able to get to the playoffs.

WriteKnight

05-20-2008, 11:19 PM

Higgins

05-20-2008, 11:57 PM

I think the phrase you're looking for is "Marry up". I've heard it used as in "Well he certainly managed to 'marry up'!" Someone above him in class or station.

But that just translates to the female expression "Quite the catch!" Doesn't everyone like to think theyve baged a winner?

Given that getting better than you deserve is a commendable aim, I'd like
to see movies where the male MC shows how such things are done.

And...I can't think of any movies where such things happen in any comprehensible way...possibly because cinematic people are all so attractive that picking one over an other makes no particular sense.

I guess you could go more into the dynamics of desire...that could be fun.

IceCreamEmpress

05-21-2008, 05:09 AM

Also I think 'Big' is a really crap metaphorical name.

It's not his actual name, though--it's a nickname. His actual name is John Smith, although that isn't revealed until the last episode of the show.

Given that getting better than you deserve is a commendable aim, I'd like
to see movies where the male MC shows how such things are done.

That's the whole point of Hitch--dating consultant Will Smith helps shy accountant Kevin James land the girl of his dreams, heiress and international philanthropist Amber Valletta.

Inkdaub

05-29-2008, 02:35 PM

Personally I would appreciate a story that avoided all the 'men do this and women do that' crap. I hate all the 'guy' cliches and find myself turned off by stories that play them up. How about a story with a male figure who isn't out to trick women into bed and doesn't cheat on his wife? Same goes with a female figure. We already have stories like that everywhere, let's do something different and add a little nobility into our relationships instead of dumbing them down to ridiculous, though comfortable, levels.

Jon-Luke

06-09-2008, 02:53 AM

I think that to make a Romance work for a "MALE" audience you have to look at making your lead character a character that your "MALE" audience would be interested in. Then you need to take this character into a situation where he has to do the romantic thing.

Its actually quite a compelling concept, if you were to take a character like Officer John McClane (From the Die Hard Franchise) and put him into the same day to day scenario that all his other movies take place in (to begin with anyway) and then have a romantic adventure happen to him rather than a suspense thriller. It could be quite interesting. I'd want to see the movie or at least read the script.

GigiZ

06-09-2008, 04:01 AM

I think your safest bet if you want to sell this is to have a catchy/strong subplot.
If you think about films like Jerry MacGuire or even Titanic, there was "something" else there driving the movie, not the romantic plot. It can be a subplot in a main character's career like in J. McGuire or a boat sinking ... or a plane crashing. But it would have to be a prominent subplot not an event that happens just to turn the act or something.
Also, I would say, that romantic films, fun though they may be, tend to be on the kleenex side like you said and if you wanted a non-kleenex love story, then you have to think in terms of erotic drama.
I am actually working on one now. I got coverage for the first draft, which was on the romantic side and the person suggested to make it edgier and said that yes, the romance genre thing is tricky and I agree based on what's in movie theatres now.
But wait! This is a post-Sex&TheCity-topping-Indiana-Jones-at-the-box-office world!! Perhaps I should put my foot in my mouth, with my manolo high heels ... sorry, I mean, my pay-less flip flops.