Justify Your VOTE.

[Hermit]

I Voted For:
William Haskin.

My Reason Is:
He's got the best way to grab you in the subject of 'crossroads'. He never defines a he or her but lets our imagination do the work. Readers beware...this man is about to become mainstream and charge you big $$$ to read his works!

[sgtsdaughter]

I'll concur with the good Hermit . . . William Haskins is about to be a god in his own making. Damn.

[Alphabet]

Ok, since there won't be statistics provided to the contestants for them to gauge the impact of their works I think it is a good idea not just to justify the vote, but use the chance to list our top favourites so that the contestants can work out for themselves how popular they are.

The contenders for me, anyway, in order of appearance, were:
Pepperlandgirl, William Haskins, and Firehorse

Firehorse had a wonderful topic and approach: The countdown, when I realised there was going to be a countdown, was from 20? thru to 36 (potentially) and at first I thought 'oh dear this is going to become tedious' but it wasn't at all because inbetween the count the increasing tension for the patient was palpable. There was so much that I liked about this piece BUT there were a couple of assertions and implications in the thought process that I (personally)found unacceptable (to do with female self-image) it was a good crossroads though, and if there hadn't been other superb entries that didn't jar it might have got my vote.

William Haskins's writing is sensationally good. It was a thrilling read in terms of how the story was related, described, philosophised. If agents were browsing they'd be darned fools not to immediately contact him and ask (nay, even beg) the chance to consider his available manuscripts. Now, I've got to say I was probably hunting for reasons not to vote for him because I'd already fallen in love with an earlier entry but I did (eventually) find two reasons. first, I'm not entirely sure what the crossroads was - was it whether to shoot everyone and then die or just to go ahead and die without shooting anyone else? was it having come into danger for the sake of the loved one instead of staying in hiding (if so, that crossroads appears to have happened without discussion, and the rest only describing the consequences). The other reason was because there was as I already said, an entry I already liked a lot, and I'm sure that William is going to make it through this round whereas the other entry might need my vote more.

That leaves Pepperlandgirl (my vote) who kind of deserves cred just for having been the first entry, significantly earlier than any of the others, and with such a good entry to boot. But I loved the writing and the houses that looked like tomatoes, I loved the supernatural element that was made so believable because the characters were so believable, and I loved the ending that made me long to find out what would happen next. I was rivetted by the plot, the suspense, and the intangible hope in this entry.

My best wishes to all the contestants, none of the entries were poor.

[reph]

I had a hard time choosing from these three: Darla Paskell, William Haskins, and trumancoyote – not to say I didn't like the others. All three stories held my attention. All showed mastery of mechanics (I'm the copy-editor type, you know; little misuses of words and goofs in sentence structure distract me). I won't say who got my vote. It might influence votes yet to come.

[JennaGlatzer]

first, I'm not entirely sure what the crossroads was

Alphabet, I believe the crossroad was the choice of whether to run or "give himself up" to his killers.

I think several of these entries are publishable and riveting. But there was just one that I wanted to read again and again.

[KTC]

I don't think we should reveal this much. I voted for the one that captured me the most. But I don't want to say who I voted for. (Maybe it's because I'm Canadian...we go to our graves not discussing our votes up here. People don't even think about asking each other...of course I'm talking politics, though. Maybe this vote is an exception...) Ignore this and continue...

[KTC]

hehe...because obviously I don't know what I'm talkin' about. Hermit is Canadian and he started the thread!

[JennaGlatzer]

LOL! Obviously I'm not saying (yet) either, but I think it's fine if others are comfortable discussing it. I think it could help the finalists see what they're doing right and where their weaknesses are.

[jdkiggins]

My vote is in. I'm not yet revealing my vote, why I voted this way, or why I didn't vote for others. I will PM the person I've given my vote. And no, I did not vote for my own piece. :)

Good luck,
Joanne

[wurdwise]

I won't reveal who I voted for, but I will tell you, I had a hell of a time making my mind up! All the entries were excellent, and I finally narrowed it down to three, which i had to read over several times to make my mind up.

I think I will pm who I voted for too, thanks Joanne, I hadn't thought of doing that.

[skylarburris]

I voted for the story that held my attention the entire way through. I'm a mental drifter, so that's hard to do. The story I voted for, honestly, was not the best written story, in terms of the beauty of the language. But for me, the highest priority is--am I reading this? From beginning to end? Or can I stop reading it without much difficulty?

[BlueTexas]

I think it's great that everyone is sharing their reasons for voting. It will help us gauge our writing against the others...I *think* I know who the strongest contenders are, but I'd love to see what everyone else thinks.

[JennaGlatzer]

Sky, that's a great point-- and me too. When reading fiction, I tend to skim. If I find myself unable to skim because I feel compelled to read each word, the writer has done something remarkable.

[Penelope]

I'm voting for the one that I still can't get out of my head, a little voice keeps telling me to go back and read it again. ALL of the entries are excellent, but I'm going to vote for the one that left the deepest impression. I'm going to let the author know via PM now.

[DJP]

I agree with Blue, I think this thread is great for the authors to learn from. Keep 'em coming!

[Kevin Yarbrough]

There were three stories in there that grabbed me and kept me reading, every word, every line. Not to say that all the stories weren't good, they were, just these three kept me intrigued and reading more than others.

Pepperlandgirl: her story was awesome (the one I voted for). The guy that came out of nowhere, aged, worn, and worse for wear. His love for the girl kept him coming back through the years is heart touching and a bit creepy. What made this story so good was "Why"? Why didn't the girl ever go with him? Why did he keep coming back through the years? Why were they always kept apart? I wanted to know these answers and that is why I voted for it.

The Moen Pit: It was intriguing. Why was the man's family forced to bear this burden? What was the secret to everlasting life? What was the meaning of the lighthouse in regards to this? Did he kill himself?

William Haskins story was excellent, and again, it posed questions I wanted answered. Why was the man on the run? Why was he a killer? Who was trying to kill him? How does the girl in the letter fit into all of this and does he see her again? If he does, does he risk her life in the process?

All of these stories brought up questions right off the bat and made you think. In my opinion, if you don't drop in questions like these right off then you lose the reader. If I'm able to jump straightto chapter five and not miss a beat then the story is pointless. You got drag the reader along, posing questions, and slowly revealing the answers as you go. If you can do this and not reveal the last question until the end then you have a good story on your hands. The writing may not be good, but the story will be. A combination of these two will make me a fan, and all three of these had that.

[vig]

is their any doubt that haskins story was supeirior. it' was incredible. grabbed you from sentence one and stroked your emotions to the end with beautiful, poetic stanzas that rippled up against bitter reality.

beautiful buddy. hands down the best one.

vig

[dragonjax]

Excellent work, finalists! You folks all deserve a round of applause.

Out of all the stories, there was only one that not only held my attention throughout the entire piece AND left me wishing there was more to read, but also clearly answered the challenge posed by Jenna. This was Pepperlandgirl's entry.

One was a very, very close second--gorgeous language, a fascinating protagonist--but was a touch too subtle for me in terms of the challenge itself. This was William Haskins' entry.

Again, terrific work, everyone -- you should all be proud. And best of luck to all the finalists.

[ChunkyC]

I like the idea of this thread. Let's the authors know what's what with the voters. I still have four of the ten to evaluate, then I'll sent Melina my pick (a saint for counting these votes, is she not?).

I think I'll wait until the voting is closed before revealing who I voted for and why. What I can say right now is that the choice won't be easy. Kudos to all the finalists!

[Mark Anderson]

Hmm. I voted for Firehorse. The story was well-written and captivating. I'm a genre writer, and I prefer an action start to a story, and a rough edge. This story had none of those and still held my interest. Given my personal writing bugaboos, this story won hands down by easily overcoming them.

[Birol]

In the procrastination thread, I mentioned in passing that I'd started a spreadsheet to keep track of the stories. (Yes, I am a geek, why do you ask?) Firehorse asked me if I was going to post the comments on that spreadsheet and basically I said I'd think about it. Right now, I don't feel comfortable doing that, because they aren't full critiques, just one or two comments to remind me why I thought I would or would not vote for the story.

I have not voted yet, but my short list consists of:

Copper and Cherries (Pepperlandgirl)
Life: A Smorgasbord of Crossroads (JDKiggins)
Wolves at the Door (William Haskins)
Eunuch's Song (Trumancoyote)

[sharon]

I'm also one of those Crazy Canucks uncomfortable with revealing my vote. I will say that I found all of them to be extremely good and enjoyed reading them. Three especially stood out for me. They were tightly written, captivated my attention (word for word), and caused me to feel some emotion. They are (in no particular order):
Life: A Smorgasbord of Crossroads; by JDKiggins
Eunuch's Song; by Trumancoyote
Wolves At The Door; by William Haskins

Sincere congratulations to all the entries! They are all wonderful!
Something tells me, each week is just going to get tougher to judge but, it sure will be fun! ;)

[ChunkyC]

I have read all the entries and made my final choice. I initially narrowed it down to four. They are, in random order:

Copper and Cherries, by Pepperlandgirl
An Open Letter to Jim to Say Good-bye, by Rhymegirl
Wolves at the Door, by William Haskins
Life: A Smorgasbord of Crossroads, by jdkiggins

All were vivid, flowed well, and kept my attention right through.

[Rhush]

I voted for the one that was like nothing I have read before. I like things that are different and vivid. I like envelope pushers. All the stories were good, and the writing was good, but for me, If I am actually going to stick with something all the way through, I'd prefer it be something that I can't imagine where it is taking me.

[JenNipps]

My top three were Haskins, DJP, and Firehouse.

You all get to guess who I voted for though. lol.

[Celeste]

I won't tell which one of the two I voted for, but I will tell which two.

They were...

The Talk by DJP
An Open Letter to Jim to Say Good-bye by Rhymegirl

Bravo to you both! :Clap: :Trophy: :Thumbs:

Excellent!

celeste

[brokenfingers]

I've just got to say that every entry here was GREAT.

I'm not kidding when I say that the quality of the writing presented here makes me proud to be a member of this forum.

Trying to pick one out of the pack was extremely difficult and I'm not going to say which one it was, but I can say that I based my decision on things like who gave me the most rep points, who publicly said the nicest things about me, who agreed with me most often, etc......

[Rhush]

Ha! That's the way I would've voted too... good for you! Well, I am here to publically go "woohooo!" I know I got a few votes!

[WhisperingBard]

I have to admit I thought it was going to be fairly easy to pick a favorite: I would read them as they were posted, narrow them down as I went, and simply pick the best at the end. Boy, was I wrong! :Smack:

I ended up with six strong possibilities and it required several more readings and much thought before I could finally choose just one.

All the entries were great. You all are to be commended for producing such wonderful work in such a short time. You're talented folk. :Cheers:

[amazon_riot]

I voted for Rhush. Simply because it started right in the action, got right to the point, and when it ended, you knew exactly where all the charaters stood. I also thought it was vivid. When I was reading it, I truly forgot where I was for those few minutes. Good job, Rhush!

[BlakeOvard]

I took my time to read, re-read, and re-read, narrowing it down with each go through. In the end, I can say that it has been a very enjoyable first round and am going to be very sorry to see any of them go. I commend you all for well written peices.

I also like the idea of PMing who I vote for just to let them know, and I will be doing that shortly. I hope you all have a great many PMs from people telling you that you are their favorite. :Trophy:

[Rhush]

Thanks Amazon Riot! That was so nice of you! I'm glad to finally see my name! Yeah!

[Celeste]

I should have stated this in my first post, but...:Smack:

You all did exceptionally well! I congratulate you all on the wonderful stories you've written! It was difficult to choose because everyone did a great job.
What a talented group you are! :Thumbs:

Cheers...:Cheers:


celeste

[Hills]

Hi, everyone. I'm a new member who has been following the site since the Idol competition began. Read Jenna's newsletter all the time - excellent.

I read all the entries and agree - they were great. I based my vote on the story I absolutely could not forget - the entry by Rhush. I loved those shoot 'em up women and when I was finished, asked myself, "Okay, where can I get more of this? Is it a novel, short story or what? Gimme more!"

What I liked most was how she dove right into the action and created immediate pictures in my mind without long, drawn out descriptive passages. I think it's important for writers to know when they need to describe something and when they don't. Rhush seems to have this figured out.

You go, girl!

[bjewel77]

It was hard to decide which story I liked most from 10 great entries! All of you are definitely very good at telling a story! Thanks to all of you for taking the time and effort, and for sharing with us. All of you are winners to me! For any who do not move on in this competition, please don't be discouraged. Keep writing! You've got it! Best wishes to all of you!

[Rhush]

Thanks bjewel77!

[Mark]

It came down to two for me (not that the others weren't close). I liked Hapsburg's entry because it was different and original. I wanted to read more about this guy and his special cane.

However, I voted for Rhush. The reason is...I have no interest in that genre, yet she made me want to read more. To make me want to read something I'm not prone to reading (if that makes sense) deserves my vote.

[Rhush]

Thanks Hills and Mark! I appreciate your posts and your votes!

To Hills...this actually started as a short story I did for a class. We were supposed to write in a genre we would never imagine ourselves writing in. Now that Ive opened this can of worms western... I think I like it, so I might turn it into a novel.

To Mark...I totally get you! I didn't have interest in this genre before I started writing either, and now, I'm intrigued.

Thanks again guys!

[AncientEagle]

All I can say is: These folks can write! I mentally chose each one as I read each entry, and then had to turn around and start reading again. Creativity, skilled use of language, flow of action - all 10 writers had that, and more, in spades.

I choose not to say yet who I voted for, but I will say this: I'm honored just to be a loser with a group like this as the winners.

It was a pleasure to read every entry.

[BlueTexas]

I hope you guys continue this thread with this week's voting. It's fascinating to see what you all think about what was written, and the reasons why you voted for the piece you did.

Some of the reasons mentioned are not ones I'd ever have imagined.

That said...good luck everyone!

[firehorse]

I like this thread, but I'd prefer to hear specific feedback either via PM or after the voting has ended (so as not to sway others).

Thanks!

[wurdwise]

I agree totally.

[William Haskins]

i think if it's kept 1000 feet from melina's inbox, it's legal. i'm not sure, though.

[Birol]

I'll post my short-list -- when I have it -- but would rather not PM my comments to the contestants uninvited. I PM'd one contestant last round with the reason they had not made my short-list, but only after they more or less invited me to do so.

[DJP]

I'd love to hear from anyone who has comments for me, good or bad. Every little bit helps. :Lecture:

[jdkiggins]

Birol, you can PM me anytime for anything. You're a sweetie!:)

[pepperlandgirl]

I always appreciate comments....except the ones that tell me I suck. I've been getting enough of that sort of feedback from other areas of my life.

[DeadlyAccurate]

This round was much tougher than the last one. There wasn't a single story that didn't keep me reading with interest all the way to the end. I won't say who I voted for, though.

[Penelope]

I haven't voted yet. I've read all of the entries, but I want to 'sleep on it' and vote in the morning. Whichever entry is still on my mind tomorrow (or later today actually) is the one that will get my vote. There are several wonderful entries so 'lasting impression' is the deciding factor for me. I will PM that person after I vote and tell them why I voted for their entry. Good luck to all the contestants. :)

[JennaGlatzer]

I agree-- this is a much tougher choice for me, and I'm going to need to sleep on it, too. I'm between three entries, all of which really grabbed me. I'll have to decide tomorrow which one stuck with me the most.

Very impressive, guys.

[Melina]

I'm not voting, just for ethics' sake, but I had a personal favorite last week, after pondering all the entries for a short time. This week, it's sooooo much harder to choose! I have read and re-read them all, and each time I read them the choice becomes less clear. This is one incredible contest!

Melina

[KTC]

Again, I will not share who I voted for. There was an absolute for me this time. I did not have a hard time choosing. Which is not to say that they weren't all good, because they were. It's just that it so depends on taste...and this week, one hit my tastes dead on. It may not have been the best, technically speaking. Then again, it may have been. I can only choose the one "I" liked the best. I'm voting for MY writing idol, not the best writer. (Just an aside, the best singer was voted out this week on American Idol...sometimes best isn't good enough.)

[maestrowork]

I have a favorite this time. Two just jumped out at me, then as I re-read them, one became a true winner for me. I won't tell you who (Melina will know once voting starts...) I just wonder if the others on AW feel the same way.

You know what we're missing for the IDOL? Judges. We need scathing judges duking it out about who is awful and who is great. We need sparks here. We need controversies and a SIMON of our own.

I volunteered to be SIMON but nobody wanted to take me on.

Really, I can be REALLY mean. You writers are a bunch of wusses! Look at the American Idol folks -- they take scathing remarks all the time and sure enough, they build characters,.

We WANT Judges.. we WANT judges. We WANT JuDGES

[brinkett]

First of all, congratulations to all the finalists. I'm not a short story reader, and while I stopped reading several of the stories last week or skimmed over them quickly, this week they all held my attention and I can't give higher praise than that.

One general comment: I found some of the misunderstandings contrived, as in I was shaking my head thinking, "this would never happen for real". This was definitely a factor in my decision making. I voted for the story that (a) moved me, and (b) I thought was the most plausible in terms of, "yes, I could see that happening." There were also a couple of stories where I wasn't quite sure what the misunderstanding was--the message may have been a little too subtle for me, though. But that didn't subtract from the fact that all of the stories were interesting.

Again, kudos to all of you. I look forward to reading the stories for round 3.

[Sarita]

We WANT Judges.. we WANT judges. We WANT JUDGES :hi: I'm not volunteering this time!

On another note... I've only read each one once, but I don't know who to vote for. I'm going to read them again tonight. I didn't say much during the last round, but there was one that really grabbed me. This time there are a few. UGH! Choices! I honestly have no idea how we ever came up with a list of finalists out of 300+ entries. I'm so indecisive!

[jdkiggins]

Can I borrow the judges dart board?

Just kidding. I know who I'm voting for, just haven't done it yet. :)

[stranger]

Great writing folks.

Last week my top 3 were:
pepperlandgirl (the descriptive prose was incredible)
William Haskins
jdkiggins

This week,
Firehorse
Rhush
TrumanCapote

Firehorse: for originality of style and I can still hear the last "Aw, dude" in my head.
Rhush: for putting me on that chair and holding me paralysed while the tension mounted.
TrumanCapote: for the ending. I was reading the story thinking- this is kinda all over the place where's it going- when within a few lines the story was tied into a neat bow. Cool

[wurdwise]

I have a favorite this time. Two just jumped out at me, then as I re-read them, one became a true winner for me. I won't tell you who (Melina will know once voting starts...) I just wonder if the others on AW feel the same way.

You know what we're missing for the IDOL? Judges. We need scathing judges duking it out about who is awful and who is great. We need sparks here. We need controversies and a SIMON of our own.

I volunteered to be SIMON but nobody wanted to take me on.

Really, I can be REALLY mean. You writers are a bunch of wusses! Look at the American Idol folks -- they take scathing remarks all the time and sure enough, they build characters,.

We WANT Judges.. we WANT judges. We WANT JuDGES

Ray, I was thinking the same thing yesterday, how much fun that would be! But I doubt it will happen, somebody might really get offended, and besides, Optimus would make a better Simon if it did, you aren't mean enough!


Ok, I'm spilling. The story by Blue Texas beat the rest hands down. Not saying all the others weren't good, interesting and well written, excellent job, all of you finalist, but hers gave me actual chill bumps and I don't even like stories with ghost!

[dragonjax]

This time, for me it was firehorse, with Blue Texas a close second. Both beautifully showed the misunderstanding, and in both, the narrator's voice was clear and strong. firehorse really nailed the "surfer dude" talk and attitude that I forever associate with Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, so it just happened to resonate a bit more. And the twist ending, even though I saw something like it coming, tickled me. So my vote was for firehorse.

Excellent samples all around. And once again, the best of luck to all Nail-Biting Nine!

I would HAPPILY be a judge. All we have to do is comment on each piece's strengths and weaknesses in our own opinions, right? I'll be Paula! :heart:

[wurdwise]

I can be Randy, "Yo dude,...wuf, wuf,...man, you were on!"

[Kevin Yarbrough]

Voted for Rhush this week. Her story had me hooked wanting to know what the hell was going on. The ouija board bit was just awesome. The creature was interesting.

Great job Rhush.

Pepperlandgirl's story was a close second, but Rhush had me wanting more.

[Moondancer]

I'm not telling who I voted for, either. It was a really hard decision to make. I had to read and re-read several times. Thank God, I had only nine from which to choose.

[maestrowork]

Ray, I was thinking the same thing yesterday, how much fun that would be! But I doubt it will happen, somebody might really get offended, and besides, Optimus would make a better Simon if it did, you aren't mean enough!


Oh Denise, you don't know me. I can be really mean (but in a very entertaining, tongue in check way).

OK, here's my SIMON-esque take:

I voted acccording to: 1) writing style, 2) flow, 3) story/characters, 4) believability. To me, they must all work together to create a piece of good writing.

While everyone writes very well here, I feel that some of the stories are lacking in at least one of my criteria. Some stories are not very plausible. Some are contrived. Some, I feel, is over-written -- one sentence is dragged out to three or four, or just ramble along. Some don't flow very well for me.

When I put all of it together, only two stories come out as the best -- they satisfy all 4 criteria. So I re-read them and select one that I feel has the best mix of all ingredients.

{Oh, I can just hear the boo-hiss now... I promise I will be REALLY mean next time...}

;)

[Rhush]

Thanks for the mentions Kevin and Stranger!

[dragonjax]

maestrowork, if you begin channeling Simon by stating that "everyone here writes well," you're not taking it seriously! Really. Would Simon EVER be so generous, so compassionate about the competitors' feelings?

Really, he's much more about the :box: than about the :kiss:

Remember, Paula loves you all, kids! :heart:

[BlakeOvard]

I have a way of reading through them and sorting them into a "yes" or "no" group. Sometimes they all go into the "yes" group and that makes it harder, then I just start narrowing them down until I get to 2-3 that I think is the top one for that week. I won't say who I actually voted for, but that person already knows because I PM'd him/her to let them know.

The three who I did manage to narrow it down to this week, are in no particular order:

Rhush
firehorse
WilliamHaskens

I liked them all, but these three just "did it" for me this week.
I wish all the best to all of the finalists, as they all were good!

Blake

[BlakeOvard]

Yo, dawg, you're kinnin' me! You brought it tonight, when you needed to bring it. It was strong dude.

I'll volunteer to be a commenting judge.

[maestrowork]

maestrowork, if you begin channeling Simon by stating that "everyone here writes well," you're not taking it seriously! Really. Would Simon EVER be so generous, so compassionate about the competitors' feelings?



I'm just testing the water now... I'm not ready for death threats yet. But I promise I'll be back with the claws and fangs. I promise I'll be VERY nasty.

Here, I'm your unofficial SIMON next week. Stay tuned....



hmmm

[amazon_riot]

I voted for rhush

very good story....

[firehorse]

my vote was for firehorse...I'll be Paula! :heart:Thanks, dragonjax! And, um, does this mean you'll begin having affairs with the contestants ;) ? (Just heard that on the news re: Paula)

[dragonjax]

Thanks, dragonjax! And, um, does this mean you'll begin having affairs with the contestants ;) ? (Just heard that on the news re: Paula)

WHAT???

:Wha:

Off to check the news...

[skylarburris]

I found it much harder this week. There were two that really stood out for me. This time, once again, "holding my attention" became the major factor. Another factor included "lasting impact" (i.e. Am I thinking about this later?) To be honest, it was so close for me, that I think I let the deciding factor be that I didn't want to vote for the same person two weeks in a row...so I went for the one of the pair I didn't vote for last week.

[dragonjax]

Well, firehorse, I didn't see anything posted on CNN. So for now, I'm still happy to be the Paula of the judges, if Jenna et. al would like commentary on the finalists' pieces...

...because really, I was so deeply moved by the passion of the narrator's voice; it really held my attention...etcetera...I love you all...

:tongue

[jdkiggins]

My vote is in. Again, I don't want to disclose my pick, and no I did not vote for myself. I sent a PM to the person I gave my vote.

[Spookster]

I just wanted to tell the finalists what an outstanding job you're all doing. I have enjoyed all the stories so far and I'm honored to be in the presence of such great talent.

This week was much tougher for me to choose. I was stuck between two particular pieces. I had to sit on it for a while. And, I'm still not sure I voted for the right person. I wish I could have voted for both. Good luck to all of you!

[ChunkyC]

How interesting! Many of you are finding it harder, yet this round one story stood out for me. It was one of these three:

Rhush
BlueTexas
Firehorse

I print the entries out and scribble notes in the margins if I come across something I don't like or think might be an error or could be done better (like that sentence I just typed). That way if there are a couple I'm having trouble deciding between, I can check my notes and use them as a tie-breaker.

The one I picked this time had no notes. I read it straight through from beginning to end nonstop, set it down and knew it was the one.

[SRHowen]

This week it was between:

firehorse
WilliamHaskens

The theme was conflict due to a misunderstanding. I reread both and felt only one of them presented true conflict, and it also hinted at future conflict.

Most of the stories were about a misunderstanding--but did a conflict arise because of a misunderstanding or the other way around, a conflict resulted in a misunderstanding?

In William's story, I saw that teen boy, I pictured him to be 13 or 14--inocent, sure what it meant to be an adult. The big table. No more watching the "little" kids. Then he is let into the "adult" world of his culture. And nothing will ever be the same again--conflict. Conflict in not only the tramua of the rest of his life, but in the conflict between what he thought an adult was in his culture and what being an adult like his dad and grandpa are. And all of it arose from a misunderstanding.

In firehorse's story, I saw the misunderstanding and it was a neat story--publishable, but I didn't really see the conflict--the guy goes to the "clinic" gets his check and then is in the room, he sees the check, but then the story ends--there really (to me) isn't a conflict, not like I picture a conflict.

[Kappie]

Well, I just joined and started voting last week. I have enjoyed reading everyone's entries and thought they were all good. There were 3 that really had me hooked.
Rhush
Firehorse
William Haskins

Good luck!

[reph]

I found it easier to choose my favorite this week. Some stories had big plot holes or annoying mechanical errors. Others were well written but had trite subjects not redeemed by strikingly original treatments. Some endings were unsatisfying: it wasn't clear that the conflict had or hadn't been resolved.

I can't say what I liked about the story I picked without revealing which one it was.

[brinkett]

Most of the stories were about a misunderstanding--but did a conflict arise because of a misunderstanding or the other way around, a conflict resulted in a misunderstanding?

I noticed that too--there were a couple of stories where I honestly didn't see what the misunderstanding was supposed to be, and then there were those that had a twist ending, illustrating what the misunderstanding was but leaving no room for the resulting conflict. However, if the story suggested that the misunderstanding would result in conflict, I didn't hold it against the story. My main problem with some of the stories was they were too contrived. I couldn't accept that the situation would actually arise in real life (I don't expect those involving the supernatural to be plausible, of course--I only apply this "test" to what's supposed to be a real life situation).

[Ella]

I really enjoyed these three, in order of appearance:

pepperlandgirl
firehorse
William Haskin

I really liked trumancoyote's, right until the end, where it fizzled out. Would love to see that one reworked.

[brokenfingers]

Wow, the entries this week were once again - excellent!

I had a hard time picking a favorite also. One of my problems was that there wasn’t enough sex and violence. I mean - how can it be a story if there aren’t any scantily clad women or high speed chases or explosions or…

Plus the lack of profanity was disappointing also.

Sigh…… Guess I’ll vote based on writing skill and story quality. How pedestrian….

[dragonjax]

The theme was conflict due to a misunderstanding....In firehorse's story, I saw the misunderstanding and it was a neat story--publishable, but I didn't really see the conflict--the guy goes to the "clinic" gets his check and then is in the room, he sees the check, but then the story ends--there really (to me) isn't a conflict, not like I picture a conflict.

Actually, the theme was misunderstandings, not conflicts. But you're right; the instructions were to "Show us a conflict that stemmed from a misunderstanding."

According to Merriam Webster's, a conflict is:
1 : FIGHT, BATTLE, WAR
2 a : competitive or opposing action of incompatibles : antagonistic state or action (as of divergent ideas, interests, or persons) b : mental struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes, or external or internal demands
3 : the opposition of persons or forces that gives rise to the dramatic action in a drama or fiction

While firehorse's story may stretch the definition, I think it still falls easily into the overall assignment. The conflict in her story is there at the very beginning. All the narrator wanted, he tells us, was the bonus. In the limited time he has left, I think it's safe to say there's a mental struggle going on; in fact, the entire story shows the events that led up to this conflict, which indeed stemmed from a rather serious misunderstanding.

My two cents.

[Renee]

I voted I voted! lol...

All the stories were really good, but one stood out more to me, than the rest. I voted for...

Stay tuned! :wag:

[LieselGarmach]

I voted and choose not to say for whom, even though it was an easy vote to cast.

Not all of the stories captured the entire challenge. Lots of conflict. Lots of misunderstanding. But conflict as a result of misunderstanding? Rarer than I had anticipated. Still, the stories were worth reading.

Thanks for participating. It's fun watching.



*slinking back to lurkerdom

[Celeste]

Read all the entries late last night and voted. I'm not tellin' who I voted for this time. Lol... They were all good! But there was one that left me thinking wow! in the end.

I give you all an applaud for all your effort and excellent writing! :Clap:

Good luck to you all!

celeste

[wurdwise]

I keep feeling relieved that I didn't make the finalist. I'm not joking, or just saying that, I'm serious! This would make me a wreck, and the deadline, EEEKKK! Great job, all of you, and hang in there, it's gonna get hairier:Smack: !~

[jdkiggins]

EEEKKK! Great job, all of you, and hang in there, it's gonna get hairier:Smack: !~
Oh thanks, Denise, just what I need is more hair. :ROFL:

[summerfield]

blue texas
firehorse
truman coyote

all three were very strong this week. but of course i can only vote for one, can't i?

[Mark Anderson]

I keep feeling relieved that I didn't make the finalist.

Actually, same here. I'd be a nervous wreck. I'm not too hot on working under pressure. Kudos to anyone who can produce a decent story on a theme they didn't choose in a short time.

Firehorse had a very strong entry this round, but in the end I voted for Haskins, who has an interesting and engaging 'voice' that permeates his work.

I encourage all contestants to add more car crashes and/or gunplay to their stories to pander for my vote. :whip:

[TashaGoddard]

My top three (in order of appearance) were DJP's Sending Mary, Firehorse's The donor and William Haskin's The Big Table. It was a hard choice, but I voted for... Nah, not going to tell you.

[Alphabet]

An interesting round, and full of misunderstandings (jt's OK, you don't have to roll on the floor).

This time there were four contenders for my vote and in order of appearance with memory trigger and key reasons for contending they were:

Rhush Ouija Body Language and activity
Firehorse Dude Voice and humour
Trumancoyote Mahir Memories and Introspection
William Haskins Hunting Message and Characterisation


This week my vote went to Rhush because I was blown away by the skillful use of gestures and actions to carry the story into and through the drama. This was so acutely observed that it added an air of believability to the whole thing. Not enough for me to start worrying, lol, but enough to impress!

William Haskins, whose first entry focussed on the indepth characterisation of just one individual, this time managed to flesh out five characters in just 1500 words AND tell a darn good and meaningful yarn.

Trumancoyote ably presented distant memories and kept me interested and the style really brought out the wistfulness of the situation - it wasn't just wistful at the end, but deftly all the way through the piece.

Firehorse's was probably the most entertaining of them all although at once unusual and predictable (I mean once the startpoint was described it seemed obvious where it was going although there was a clever final twist to it). I loved the surf-talk, I felt like I was being given a rare chance to pretend I hung with the crowd and experience first-hand how the conversation would play out between these 'dudes'.

I also had to see which one bore the longest impact on me and to come back again with more mental energy to re-read them all. Did the fact that Rhush's was the first of the ones that really grabbed me influence my final vote? I don't know.

I'm sorry to all those whose entry I've mentioned that I couldn't vote for all four of you, and yes, I guess as the rounds progress consistency of performance will begin to influence my decisions if I have a difficult choice between entries and am trying to work out where to place my vote.

[Rhush]

Thanks Alphabet! I enjoyed your insight!

[JennaGlatzer]

Well, I wasn't gonna tell, but I don't want my choice to think she went unnoticed! This week, I voted for DJP because I couldn't stop thinking about that poor woman and how she'd been misled.

My other two top contenders were William Haskins and trumancoyote, though every one of them appealed to me for different reasons.

[Renee]

Ok I'm gonna fess up to who I voted for.

I voted for William Haskins. His story blew my mind and I still cannot forget his story. Truly awesome work! And then ending..lord..it was genius!

So, now that I've admitted that I just saw there is a three-way tie breaker. William didn't make the cut *sob, sigh* so I re-read the three entries and voted for...

*DRUM ROLL, please*

I voted for TrumanCoyote!

Badabingbadaboom..and that's the rest of the story.

[Sarita]

So, now that I've admitted that I just saw there is a three-way tie breaker. William didn't make the cut *sob, sigh* so I re-read the three entries and voted for...

Renee, William did make the cut. There's a three way tie for last place and only one will be eliminated this week. Who ever has the fewest votes gets cut. :cry:

[jdkiggins]

Who would have ever thought that rhymegirl, truman and I would be holding hands waiting to see who gets last place. LOL

I won't do the little ROFL guy, it annoys William. Oh heck with it, close your eyes William. :ROFL:

[Renee]

Renee, William did make the cut. There's a three way tie for last place and only one will be eliminated this week. Who ever has the fewest votes gets cut. :cry:

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I see what you're saying. DUh! hehe....thanks Sara for clearing that up!

[Sarita]

Joanne! *HUGS* Really, really big HUGS!

[jdkiggins]

Thank you Sara. You're so sweet. :Hug2: back at you.

[JennaGlatzer]

OK, now that the results are in, I'll mention one or two things that I noticed in the entries...

At least two of the entries (including the one that got my vote :) ) had some signs of the Said Syndrome.

That is, using "creative" words instead of "said" or "asked," which is actually distracting.

Cried, consoled, shrieked, explained, retorted, answered, questioned, queried, continued, inquired, mumbled, etc. are all words to watch out for. Same with adding adverbs after "said," like "she said quietly," "he said remorsefully," etc. You can use these dialogue tags sparingly, but only if necessary. When you use more than one in a row, it can stand out in a bad way. The dialogue and actions should be strong enough to convey how a person is speaking; you don't need to tell us that he said "I love you" adoringly. Most people don't say "I love you" hatefully, so it's obvious from the words themselves what tone he's using. You'd only need a description if the words don't match the tone the reader would expect-- like: "My house is on fire," he said calmly.

The word "said" is invisible to the reader. You just skip right over it, which means it's fine to use it several times in one piece. Once you've established a dialogue pattern, though, it's not necessary to use any tag at all.

That is...

"You're ugly," Joe said.

"You're uglier," Isabelle said.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

You don't need tags on the 3rd and 4th because we already know whose "turn" it is to speak.

Another thing to watch: where you place your tags. It's also distracting to read...

"I have an appointment," she said, "early tomorrow."

"But I can't take you," he said, "because I have to go to work."

Be careful not to interrupt the flow of a sentence unless you're trying to punctuate a particular thought or phrase-- and even then, again, don't do it more than once in a row. You make the reader take pauses when they want to just read right through.

Another tip: "mom" and "dad" get capitalized only if they're used as substitutes for names. These are all correct:

I was hoping my mom didn't see. (Not being used as a name)

I was hoping Mom didn't see. (Used as a name)

Henry's dad works in the grocery store. (Not used as a name)


When in doubt, plug in your parent's name and see how it looks. If the name works, use uppercase for Mom/Dad. If not, use lowercase.

I was hoping my Linda didn't see. (No good, so keep "mom" in lowercase)

I was hoping Linda didn't see. (Works. Go uppercase.)

Henry's George works in the grocery store. (Nope. "Dad" belongs in lowercase here.)

[DJP]

Thanks Jenna,

I've never hear of the 'said syndrome', but I can see right away that I'm guilty of it. Thanks for the tips!

[Rhush]

Always open to improvement! Thanks Jenna!

[AncientEagle]

Jenna, your comments came at a perfect time for me. I have just almost finished reading David Baldacci's "Split Second." Excellent story, well told. But he has one annoying habit, odd for so highly acclaimed a writer: From time to time he can't resist saying, "she affirmed," or "he responded," etc. It affects me like hearing a fingernail scrape across a chalk board.

[wurdwise]

I was soaking what you said in like a sponge, myself, Jenna. I am in the smack dab middle of an edit, and I spotted things that I needed to address. THanks!

[jdkiggins]

Thanks, Jenna. I see where I made a few mistakes on the capitalization of my mom versus Mom. Thanks for pointing it out. Now that I've read your post it will stick in my head. :)

[Mr Underhill]

A few belated comments about the Week 2 decision.

I had a hard time choosing between them the first time I read through. So I first screened out the ones that I didn't feel completely embodied the "Misunderstandings" theme. Now, I could have taken any of them and justified how it fit the theme, but the ones that needed justifying were the ones I decided to eliminate first. Not that I felt the ones I eliminated from consideration should have been disqualified, mind you, I just needed some way to narrow down the field.

And I wasn't selecting based on the magnitude of the misunderstanding or gravity of the consequences. It was a structural thing.

Misunderstanding->Conflict is a basic element of plot development, so I picked the ones which had the misunderstanding as an operation in the plot. The others, I felt, had "misunderstanding" as part of the ambience, or the premise, or characterization. That left me (in my judgment) with three: DJP, firehorse and William Haskins. (Pepperlandgirl's entry was right on the edge.) So at that point I had to choose arbitrarily which one I "liked" better.

Now, had all the voters done this, some fine entries would have been overlooked. And I suppose if one had been just phenomenally better than the rest, I wouldn't have bothered with this criterion. But I just wanted you all to know what the thought process was.

Not a factor this week with the first sentence thing. No doubt I'll have to think of some other way to narrow the field.

[Celeste]

Just finished reading all the entries for week three. You all did a great job...again! I wish I could vote for more than one, but....

I voted for Silly Man by Joanne D. Kiggins. It was excellent. I loved it! At first, I was reading it thinking it was a sweet love story about a woman meeting her Mr. Right when she wasn't looking, or expecting, but...

Woo-hoo! The end kicked azz! Yes! I LOVED IT! Awesome, Joanne! :Thumbs:

It friggin' rocked! Silly man, silly man!!!! Woo-hoo! :Clap:

:Trophy:

[BlueTexas]

She's pretty good, huh?

[Celeste]

She's pretty good, huh?

You all are pretty good! :Thumbs: :Thumbs: :Thumbs: :Thumbs:

Joanne's story was so wickedly awesome. I love it.

Especially this...

"Remember? I’m that perfect woman, with the soft skin, beautiful smile and eyes that could kill. I’m everything you molded me to be. But you were mistaken."

"You did have me all wrong. Silly man! It isn’t my eyes that could kill."

Whew! That Delores... Damn!

And we can't forget about you! Wow! Your story was sad, but so beautiful.

I really liked this line...

''Some days I felt myself walking through the woods beyond, marveling at the tallness of the trees and the enormity of my smallness.''

It is a fantastic, beautifully written story! Like I said, it's so hard having to vote for just one. Argh!
Here's a great big "Bear Hug" for the wonderful job you did...:Hug2:


celeste

[JennaGlatzer]

Blue, the language in your piece this week was so strong. Very quotable.

[BlueTexas]

Blue, the language in your piece this week was so strong. Very quotable.

Why, thank you, Jenna. Quotable is good!

[mommie4a]

Ditto that, Blue.

But, as a nonfiction writer, I was disappointed to see that all the entries, at least superficially, appeared to be fiction. How about how-to or service articles on...misunderstandings, crossroads, keeping secrets or the wisdom of what people say?

Yeah, I hear it now - TOO BORING. Hmm - just needs the right writer and angle! I love nonfiction.

[jdkiggins]

Wow, Celeste, I'm going to have you write a blurb in my book if it ever gets published. What nice compliments. Thanks.

Blue, I loved your piece. Very true to how people feel going through such an ordeal.

Oh heck, I think all the pieces were great once again.

Jenna, Idol participants are still allowed to vote as long as they don't vote for themselves, right?

Great week and great work everyone. Good luck!
Joanne

[BlueTexas]

Ditto that, Blue.

But, as a nonfiction writer, I was disappointed to see that all the entries, at least superficially, appeared to be fiction. How about how-to or service articles on...misunderstandings, crossroads, keeping secrets or the wisdom of what people say?

Yeah, I hear it now - TOO BORING. Hmm - just needs the right writer and angle! I love nonfiction.

Well, all fiction is inspired by life, isn't it? I know mine came from my anger at a loss of a loved one.

[DJP]

If anyone would like to give feedback on my week three piece, I'd like to hear it. Let me know what you thought was good, or not so good. My writer's skin is thickening!

[DJP]

Wait, did someone mention we shouldn't give crits until the results are in, so as not to sway anyone? Or, is the justify your vote thread a place we can ask for crits, since people can avoid it until after they've voted if they like?

[maestrowork]

I think crits are allowed. Swaying votes? Well... does Simon's nasty comments ever sway votes? Sure, but that's part of the game. :)

I promised to be rude this week. So watch for rude comments later when I'm done reading all the entries.

(Remember, Ray is kind and nice. But not Simon-Ray)

[stranger]

How did I decide who to vote for? Well the one I liked the best, of course. I read fiction for enjoyment, so the one I enjoy the most is the best.

After reading through the entries, I knew the one I liked the best. But to justify my vote I went back and looked through them again to figure out why. This is what I came up with.

In ONE of them I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on-STRIKE 1.
THREE of them seemed to lack a basic conflicit-STRIKE 2.
THREE of them had no characters I could relate to or care about-STRIKE 3.

Leaving the winner as DJP. Great story.

[BlakeOvard]

Well, as in the past couple of weeks, I somehow managed to narrow it down to where I had one I would be voting for. I'll be PMing that person shortly to let them know I voted for them. Unlike past weeks, I'm not going to say on here who I actually narrowed it down to. Suffice it to say that each and every one of you should be proud this week. It is getting harder each time to pick only one story to vote for. Again, JENNA CAN I PLEASE VOTE MORE THAN ONCE!? (I'm beggin' here!)

[DJP]

Leaving the winner as DJP. Great story.

Thanks so much, Stranger. You made my day!:snoopy:

[Mags]

Really, really, really difficult decision this week.

But I think firehorse is my Bo. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/wink.gif

(And Blue Texas was Carrie.)

[paprikapink]

High percentage of dead beloveds this week, aren't there. Is that astrological? or the prompts?

And a lot of really good writing too. I'm going back for a re-read or two. Tough choice!

-pk

[LieselGarmach]

Perhaps I should have voted for the one that made me cry because it moved me so much.

Perhaps I should have voted for the one that made me smile because it meant I wasn't focused on real life for those 8 minutes.

Perhaps I should have voted for the one that made me understand just a little bit better why I've made some of the choices I have in my life.

In the end, however, I voted for the story that caught my breath and made me sigh afterwards and recognize that all is well within my world.


Darned good entries this week. Again.

[JennaGlatzer]

Liesel, what cool things to say. :)

OH! And yes, contestants can vote, but not for themselves. I'll put that in the vote thread and tell Melina to strike any self-votes.

[skylarburris]

Well, I voted for the one that made me cry...and also sigh at the end and feel that all is well.

It's a little secret, but if something has the power to make me cry, I always tend to think of it as good writing. I'm not sure why that is. I guess it's hard to make me cry, and I figure breaking me down takes talent.

[Kevin Yarbrough]

Rhush, you did it again for me this week. Will have to vote for you because the way you write is just so....twisted, I love it. It was down to two this week, Rhush's and the one about the roommate and the hammer, can't remember who wrote it, sorry.

You are becoming one of my favorite writers Rhush. Love your work.

[SRHowen]

Another tip: "mom" and "dad" get capitalized only if they're used as substitutes for names. These are all correct:

I was hoping my mom didn't see. (Not being used as a name)

I was hoping Mom didn't see. (Used as a name)

Henry's dad works in the grocery store. (Not used as a name)


When in doubt, plug in your parent's name and see how it looks. If the name works, use uppercase for Mom/Dad. If not, use lowercase.

I was hoping my Linda didn't see. (No good, so keep "mom" in lowercase)

I was hoping Linda didn't see. (Works. Go uppercase.)

Henry's George works in the grocery store. (Nope. "Dad" belongs in lowercase here.)

While this may be true, and it is for most stories-- in some cultures, Mother, Father, Grandfather etc. would always be in caps because they are a title of respect.

[Rhush]

Thanks Kevin! Especially for the "twisted" remark. A man after my own heart...ha!

[Kim Gogo]

I voted for Blue. Her story was moving. I experienced two losses in recent years that have altered who I am. Her story, the progression, the flow, the emotions expressed...very touching. Perhaps it's because I'm a mother but the relationship with the dying woman's son brought tears to my eyes.

It was a tough decision for me, though. William's submission was riveting. It felt like it was a paragraph long. Before I knew it, I was at the end, wanting to read more. His words seem to have a life of their own--quite awe-inspiring!

If I grow up, I want to write just like William. :Hail:


kim

[Ella]

I voted for William this round, as his writing style is very smooth, with a great rythym that is never jarring. (Plus I'm a sucker for someone who is willing to toe the line. :D) If I could vote for second, I would vote for DJP. This story really stood out, and could rock with just a little tighter writing. DJP, you're well on your way to good things.
I enjoyed some of the other ones, and some I couldn't even finish reading, due to either uninteresting/predictable story line or rough writing. However, some great ideas are flowing.

Best wishes to all!

[Paolo]

I cast my vote for the goat. I'm a sucker for goats and the writing style was crafty like slight of hand. During the showdown over the trading card, I actually looked into the goat's eyes. Awesome.

[maestrowork]

I cast my vote for what I thought as the best writing: again, using my criteria (technical skills, style, flow, and story/characters).


However, at this point I must say (putting on my SIMON hat), I'm underwhelmed with the entries. Everyone sent in good work. But it should be the time when everyone steps up. "Good" is not enough. I want to see OUTSTANDING, something that truly wows me. Grammatical and spelling errors shouldn't be acceptable at this point. You're IDOL finalists. You can do better. Hire a copy editor if you must.

Some stories left me scratching my head. Some are, again, overwritten. Some went for the easy route: do we need another "chance meeting" story or "I murdered someone" plot just because we had these two prompts? Surprise me! Do something different. This is not an excercise in the "Exercise" forum. This is a contest.

So, yes, I voted, but I briefly considered not voting at all. Even the one piece for which I voted, I found it manipulative. It pulled exactly the right heartstrings and got exactly the right emotions. That doesn't make it bad writing -- in fact, the writing itself is superior, and that's why I voted for it -- but I feel that the author could have done better than going for the easy heart tugs.
[SIMON off]

(remember, Ray is always kind and supportive. But Simon-Ray is mean and rude)

[Celeste]

So, Simon-Ray, are you going to tell us who tugged your heart?

[maestrowork]

I think Simon-Ray has just left the building. Paula seems to have disappeared, too...

Scandal! Scandal!

[brinkett]

Some went for the easy route: do we need another "chance meeting" story or "I murdered someone" plot just because we had these two prompts?
It would have been nice to see some variety, but to be fair, it's tough to whip up something original and good in a week's time.

To me, many of the stories didn't follow from the prompt. It was as if the first line was just plopped there, and then the author went ahead and wrote about something else. That would be my general comment for most of the stories this week.

[rhymegirl]

Yeah, we need an Absolute Write Idol Scandal. What can we dig up on the contestants?

[William Haskins]

i've got the goods on firehorse. i just choose not to play my cards until the exact right moment.

[firehorse]

i've got the goods on firehorse. i just choose not to play my cards until the exact right moment.Wow - I've got goods? Do tell. If I have any secrets, they must be ones I'm keeping from myself. http://www.coolsmilies.net/gestures/unsure.gif

[jdkiggins]

or "I murdered someone" plot
(remember, Ray is always kind and supportive. But Simon-Ray is mean and rude)

Sorry Simon-Ray. I guess you didn't like my sick and twisted rendition of Dorothy Parker's poem "Men." :)

I'll try very hard not to murder anyone in my next piece, providing I make it to the next week. :D

But everyone loves Raymond. :Jump:

[jdkiggins]

Yeah, we need an Absolute Write Idol Scandal. What can we dig up on the contestants?

I'll be happy to send all of you my manuscript for my book. That should keep everyone filled with enough dirt on me to leave the other finalists alone for awhile. :D

[Sarita]

My 2 cents...

Pepperlandgirl: The casual feel really grabbed me on your piece. Nicely done. I love the line "Have you found Jesus?" I felt myself being thrown off by it along with the character.

Joanne: I love when silly men get their comeuppance... I went back to read this a few times. It really struck me how you gave subtle hints that she knew him previously. (Example: Sweetener in the coffee? How would she have drugged him if she didn't know he took his coffee sweet?)

Kira/Blue: Your piece reminded me of a conversation I had with my Grandpop about a month before he died. Beautifully portrayed.

DJP: Shivers! You skeered me! That final tap, tap, tap really brought it home for me.

Sarah/Firehorse: Sweet! I loved one of the opening lines "this swell dish of a dame".

Becky/Rhush: So touching in a perverse way. His sadness was so profound and so was his delusion.

Haskins: Yeah. It's no secret that your writing touches people. "Losing her crippled my soul. It washed the color from my vision and replaced in my mind the soothing tide of hope with the stinging echo of bittersweet memories." Amazingly well done.

Zach/Truman: hehe, you can always make me chuckle. I was expecting serious writing out of everyone this week, considering the 2 prompts. You broke the mold, buddy.

[firehorse]

I'll try very hard not to murder anyone in my next piece, providing I make it to the next week. :DI pledge the same. I was a bit alarmed to realize I'd killed three characters in two weeks.

I considered using the opening line as a jumping-off point (having it on a television program, for example), but my feeling is that a piece should flow from the opening line, not divert from it. That, combined with my personal motto of keeping the stakes as high as possible, led me to... murder. Though I am realizing that if I consider life/death the highest stake, I'm probably going to wind up with a high body count in my work.

[Lenora Rose]

Having missed voting for week two (Augh!!!), I was extra-determined to vote this week.

My last 3 were Pepperland, William Haskins, and Trumancoyote; In the end, i went with the goat, partly because it didn't do the obvious murder scenario That opening line suggests, but still connected to the opening line. Kira/Blue was good, and realistic, but I disqualified it from my final for on an arbitrary -- the opening sentence had the least to do with the rest of the story out of those 4.

But, Simon-Ray is partly right - nothing grabbed me by the throat and told me "I'm IT!!!" Worse, no two or three things did. Much good. Nothing Fantabulous. You are skilled writers. I know you need to wait for a couple of weeks before really throwing yourselves in, but.... waah! Want fantabulous!

(This moment of total maturity brought to you by:)

[astonwest]

Pepperlandgirl: The casual feel really grabbed me...
I need to take more writing breaks...I'm reading everyone talking about scandals, and then you come up and talk about Pepperlandgirl, casual feels, and grabbing, and my mind immediately links it all together...yikes.

[maestrowork]

Sorry Simon-Ray. I guess you didn't like my sick and twisted rendition of Dorothy Parker's poem "Men." :)

I'll try very hard not to murder anyone in my next piece, providing I make it to the next week. :D

But everyone loves Raymond. :Jump:

Actually Simon-Ray told me he liked yours, because you chose the prompt that suggested "chance meeting" but led us to murder instead, which he thought was great because it was unexpected.

(however, when she put the sweeteners in the cups, I knew. Chalk it up as years of reading mystery novels. ;) )

[Kappie]

I just wanted to say you all are doing a great job! This is tough and each week you all turn out these great stories. Firehorse I just wanted to say I think your dialogue is terrific. I can easily visualize your characters just by listening to them talk. Blue Texas your story this week was so touching and stuck with me for a long time. Rhush, again you creeped me out but made me feel sadness for and touched by your character. I think that takes talent:)
Good luck everyone!

[jdkiggins]

Actually Simon-Ray told me he liked yours, because you chose the prompt that suggested "chance meeting" but led us to murder instead, which he thought was great because it was unexpected.

(however, when she put the sweeteners in the cups, I knew. Chalk it up as years of reading mystery novels. ;) )

Tell Simon-Ray thanks. Those darn sweeteners were a dead giveaway. I just couldn't figure out how to get around them. :)

[MacAllister]

I'm gonna gently disagree with Simon-Ray (who is really a big ol' softie, no matter how tough he talks) and say I thought this round was actually pretty amazing. We've passed the initial rush of adrenaline-muse-inspired words-flow-like-magic phase, and entered a nitty-gritty gray area, where the finalists are writing to prompts, on deadline.

That being the case, the difficulty-level is ratcheting up.

I do agree that there seemed to be a few stray technical niggles in most of the stories. With only a couple of exceptions, the entries all would have benefited from one more copy-edit. JMO.

But in terms of producing articulate, engaging pieces--I think the finalists all rose to the challenge. There wasn't a single entry this week that made my eyes glaze over.

I did finally vote--and the tech niggles were the deciding factor, in the very end.

[JennaGlatzer]

You know, I think it was truman who asked me if I was worried about letting the "audience" pick the winner, considering that I'm going to be promoting the winner (and the finalists, of course) to my contacts (agents, editors, etc.). That's the one part that does scare me a bit-- the mechanics. I think every one of our finalists has proven a few things:

1. They can all meet deadlines.
2. They can all weave interesting and compelling tales.
3. They can stay within word counts.
4. They're pretty damn cool.

I'm also starting to recognize each writer's voice... bet you that by next week, you could take off the names of each of the finalists and I'd recognize at least 5 of them. (That's a good thing.)

I'm not afraid to recommend any of them based on storytelling ability. I'm a little afraid about the copyediting, though. I don't want to hype someone to my editor, then find out that the manuscript contained grammatical errors on every page. I know we're working with short deadlines, but I agree that most of the entries could have used another proofread and/or another pair of eyes to catch the errors.

For some, it doesn't interfere much with my read of the story because the story itself is so compelling that I can overlook it. (I still notice, but it doesn't stop me in my tracks.) For others, I wouldn't have continued reading if not for the contest because I got too distracted by the errors.

The first sentence thing this week... I shall now reveal my motive.

They weren't the best prompts I could think of. They were mediocre prompts, and a bit cliched. As a writer, sometimes that's what you have to work with (if you're writing on assignment). When my agent came to me and said a publisher wanted me to do a book on writer's block, I winced a little at first. It's been done, it's not my favorite subject, and it can be kind of a goofy topic. I'm much more adept at explaining the business side of writing than the creative side. But I chose to take it on, and I'm proud of the result. It made me stretch my brain.

For a gift book I was hired to ghostwrite, the person who hired me gave me an outline of a fantasy story. It was trite. I discussed my concerns and wanted to take it in a different direction. They did accept a couple of my ideas, but mostly, I had to work within their parameters, including the goofy ending they chose. You make the most of it.

Anyway. I gave those prompts because they were really open-ended. A writer could have taken them in many directions and still remain relevant. The challenge was more to "overcome" the first sentence and write a damn good story anyway. I thought it might show us who can really dazzle even when given a sort-of handicap.

I was a little disappointed to see what someone else said earlier: that several of the stories seemed to just plop in that first sentence, then write something totally unrelated. Well, that's one way of overcoming it, but it isn't showing me that you can make lemonade from a lemon. It's showing me that you know how to throw the lemon over your shoulder and mix up a banana smoothie instead. If I were your editor and had given you an instruction, you'd have to figure out how to work with it, not just toss it in to placate me.

All that said, I still thought there was plenty of good in every entry.

I'll try to be more specific with critiques once the voting has ended.

[jdkiggins]

Jenna I think you're doing wonderful with themes. I'm sure most of the contestants will agree that this is a big challenge to put out a great story in just a week.


One of my biggest problems with deciding on a storyline, writing and posting within a week deadline is that I'm going against my normal routine.

Normally when I write something, I complete it and stash it for at least a week or two. Then, when it's not so fresh in my mind I'm able to catch all the horrible errors I've made. With only a week, I don't have the "stash and come back later" routine I'm used to using. Unfortunately, I don't have another set of eyes to look at my work, either, so I'm flying by the seat of my pants with that as well.

As far as critiques, I'm looking forward to any and all suggestions on all my entries from anyone who wants to offer them when the contest is over.

If nothing else, Jenna, this contest has rejuvenated my creative juices and forced me to write more. :) I thank you for that.

[brinkett]

I was a little disappointed to see what someone else said earlier: that several of the stories seemed to just plop in that first sentence, then write something totally unrelated.
That was me, and it was definitely a factor in my voting. I've noticed that just about every week, there's at least one story that doesn't really fit the instructions. This week there were quite a few. Part of being a (successful) writer is following guidelines. Sending a story to an editor that doesn't match what they're looking for will almost certainly result in a rejection. As far as AW Idol goes, I won't vote for a story that didn't follow Jenna's guidelines for the week, no matter how good it is in other respects. In fact, if I was running the contest, I'd disqualify stories that didn't follow the instructions, but then I'm a b*tch.

[brokenfingers]

Hello again contestants,

First off – I would like to thank you for the sex and violence in this weeks entrees (yes, I used that word purposely.) They were greatly appreciated. Unfortunately I was not able to base my vote upon that fact alone. I had to consider the monetary value of the gifts I received also.

But all that aside – I am here to say this:

I am with you. We are all with you.

I understand the dilemma of crafting a worthy story within a week. I understand that some of you also have other responsibilities that vie with your time and concentration for your entries. I understand that the road may sometimes seem hard and neverending and you may sometimes ask yourself – is it worth it? Is it worth all the toil, sweat and anxiety?

Hell, I can’t answer those questions for you. That’s something only you can answer for yourselves.

But I can tell you this: With every entry you submit – you are leading by example. You’re forging the path for those who may talk the talk but are afraid to walk the walk.

What is this place mainly for? For writers to learn and grow and test their wings.

And that is where the true value of what you’re doing comes in. You’re not talking about writing or how to write or how to use the correct tense of a verb or all that – you’re doing it, you’re showing by example. You are writing quality prose that shows more than anything else to those who come here wanting to learn – what it means to be a writer.

So take a deep breath, still your thoughts, find peace within yourself and Write.

Give it to us. Knock us out. Show us what it’s all about.

And know that we are all with you. We’re all rooting you on, cheering and yelling.

Because ultimately – you are our desires personified. We want you to win because it gives every member here hope and inspiration that they can do it too. They can write. They can overcome.

We’re looking to you, Idol contestants.


Do it.

[JennaGlatzer]

That was awesome!

[William Haskins]

i agree, broken. great post.

actually, any post in this thread without the word "disappointment" (or some variation thereof) is soothing.

[DJP]

Incredible post, broken, thank you. I feel like an athlete who just got her second wind. Those words were like a surge of adrenalin. Where's the next topic, let me at it!:box: (Provided I make it to the next round.) :Ssh:

[BlueTexas]

Now there's something to strive for if I've ever seen it. Wow, Broken!

[mommie4a]

Broken - if the writing thing doesn't work out for you, maybe you should become a Motivational Speaker - oh, wait - you are! Thanks.

[Celeste]

Tell Simon-Ray thanks. Those darn sweeteners were a dead giveaway. I just couldn't figure out how to get around them. :)

I'd love to have a supply of those 'darn sweeteners' handy. Oops! Did I say that? I'm sorry. I'm jus' kiddin', really...http://bestsmileys.com/evil/3.gif


celeste http://bestsmileys.com/tempted/3.gif

[maestrowork]

I now nominate Broken Finger as our official Paula Abdul (with or without the scandals!!!)

[jdkiggins]

Very nicely said, Brokenfingers.

Thank you.

[dragonjax]

This week, I voted for BlueTexas. Not only did her story flow well from the initial sentence; it was also a gripping story that held my attention throughout. Other works this week did well, but for me, BlueTexas' entry was by far the most gripping. Well done!

And once again, good luck to all AW Idol finalists!

[firehorse]

Brokenfingers - That's so kind; it almost made me cry. Thank you. I echo what everyone else has said - if I make it to the next round, I now feel like I have a greater purpose - and more inspiration than ever.

actually, any post in this thread without the word "disappointment" (or some variation thereof) is soothing. Amen.

[Birol]

My short list this round consisted of:

DJP
Firehorse
William Haskins

[William Haskins]

just dusting off the thread for the folks.

[dragonjax]

For Week 4, there was only one entry that held my attention throughout, had an ending that left me satisfied, and was written powerfully. That was WIlliamHaskins' piece.

Best of luck to all of the Super Seven Finalists!

[MacAllister]

Oh....geez...

I just read all the entries. You peeps have seriously raised the bar. Dunno who to vote for. Guess I'll give it a day, and see which story sticks in my head.

[MacAllister]

Okay--my final three were Zach, Kira, and Sarah. The others were very, very close--I liked Joanne's, but thought it only loosely connected to the theme; I liked William's, Becky's and DJP's, but found tiny technical niggles.

As one of you pointed out the other day--what a horrible feeling to know that a misspelled word or misplaced comma can cost a vote...

I'd have been right out in the very beginning, for spelling mutations, feral commas and ellipsis abuse. Kudos to all of you.
This was a really tough decision, ya'll. Way to go.

[William Haskins]

did you just call me a niggle?

[MacAllister]

actually, no--you'd be a spelling mutation.

Technically.

[William Haskins]

fair enough.

[MacAllister]

"Fair enough"? That's it???

Here I was, all convinced of your cynicism...

[rhymegirl]

Well, I voted but the decision was quite difficult. I had to read them all over again. And Mac, I think you are right, that we really have to consider everything in order to make a decision. I saw at least one misspelling in a story. I really did enjoy reading ALL of them though.

[brokenfingers]

Watch him Mac! That Haskins is a sly dog. He wields words like a master samurai wields his blade...

[mommie4a]

I think I put this in a different thread, but I voted soon after reading all the entries. Never done it so quickly before and I find it odd that I made my choice so easily, even though I felt the quality overall was up a notch on most of the entries. I can remember almost all of them without looking back, and that's a feat in itself.

I've PM'd the person I voted for but confess to feeling strange about saying which entrant that is. I've got a fondness for all the entrants and unless individuals want PM'd critiques explaining why I didn't vote for theirs this week, I'd prefer to keep my choice to myself and that person. Well, and who ever didn't get a PM from me - ugh - sorry! I hate (yes, hate) saying that - sorry entrants!

Great going, all of you. The heat is on.

[paprikapink]

I'm so stuck! Can't choose can't choose! It's not as bad as Sophie's choice, but around there.

I don't have the technical niggles way out either. Being able to spell and punctuate matters, but it is not weighty enough in and of itself to tip the scales for me. Especially a little thing here or there.... I used to respond to those things with horror, but I don't have that visceral reaction anymore. I care so much more about what is behind and underneath what is said and how it affects me. And I think Cod made copyeditors for a reason. And this is a ~weekly~ contest. It's just not the same as going over and over something and letting it sit and coming back to it and all the other things you do when you are preparing a piece. In RL, deadlines are typically the deadline to get it to the copyeditor. (And not so he or she can give you your spelling grade either.)

That said, let it be known that I ended my subscription to our local paper because the spelling and grammar are so atrocious. It shames our little town!

Also let me add that that's just me. I think technical points are a perfectly valid factor for the voters for whom that is weighty to consider. I'm just saying it's not that weighty to me. Since I haven't seen anyone else express my perspective, I am exposing myself.

[MacAllister]

pkpk--if it weren't for teensy tiny tech niggles, I'd still be dithering too. I frankly had to go back and close read LOOKING for mistakes, so I could start taking a fraction of a point off, here and there.

I'd be completely paralyzed and unable to choose, otherwise. *shrug*

[brinkett]

Also let me add that that's just me. I think technical points are a perfectly valid factor for the voters for whom that is weighty to consider. I'm just saying it's not that weighty to me. Since I haven't seen anyone else express my perspective, I am exposing myself.
I'm not a stickler for good grammar and spelling -- I can overlook a mistake here and there if the story is good. But when stories are competing against each other, I do tend to notice when a story has more spelling/grammar mistakes than the others.

[rhymegirl]

I just want to clarify here that normally I would not let a spelling error or grammatical error sway my opinion about the quality of a story. I know it's the story itself that counts. But as someone else said, these writers are competing against each other. When I wrote my entries, I went over and over and over them trying to make sure I spelled everything correctly. I know it is certainly possible to miss something. But if all 7 pieces are really good stories, how else are we going to eliminate anyone?

[MacAllister]

Kate, what I was trying to say, you just said much more articulately.

[rhymegirl]

Thanks. Want to buy some articles?

[maestrowork]

The stakes are high now, and the competition is fierce. I think it's only natural to demand more, such as impeccable grammar and spelling. For me, I'd even go further and say I demand the winning entry to "WOW" me.

[trumancoyote]

You've never said what does WOW you, Simonray.

[William Haskins]

is there a way for me to vote against myself?

[trumancoyote]

That's not very nice, William.

If you can't get along w/ your other selves I may have to send you to the corner.

[maestrowork]

You've never said what does WOW you, Simonray.

Something that arouses, perturbs, or spiritually moves me without being deliberate, self-aware, and manipulative. Nuanced, subtle, yet provocative. That's the highest form of short story telling, and it's extremely difficult to do. I expect that from this group of fine writers. I hold you all to a high standard. You can do better. And I know you will.

-- Simon-Ray

[JennaGlatzer]

I was wowed. And I voted.

I'm finding a funny trend in my own voting. If you asked me, I could easily tell you who my 2 favorite writers are in this competition, with #s 3 and 4 close behind. Yet I believe I've wound up voting for a different person every week, and one of my two favorites has never received a vote from me.

That sounds so strange. But I guess I'd put it this way: There are 2 writers who I have confidence in every week-- that I know no matter what I throw at them, they're going to write something masterful. They both ooze style and I'm humbled by their brains. Two others rise to that level often, but are a little more inconsistent. Yet each week, someone's story sticks with me... and not necessarily one of the "masters." Even if I WANT to vote for my "favorites," I can't. I have to go with my gut and whose entry felt most magnetic. Otherwise it doesn't feel honest.

Thing is, I'll be sad if one of my two favorites doesn't win. So I'm at odds with myself. Is this weird?

[ChunkyC]

I've voted for one person twice. I've also voted for one person who didn't make my first cut in a different week.

To quote the New Kids on the Block: This is wicked awesome.

[firehorse]

My concern about voters making a choice based on punctuation is that not only does it vary between UK/Canada/US, but also (within Canada, at least), it depends on which style guide a writer is using. The 'grammar snob' thread had a heated debate about the Harvard comma. Someone who had never heard of it, but only learned *not* to put a comma before the final item in a list, would consider that a punctuation error. Similarly, I've heard debates about the offset commas, which I used in the previous sentence (those that encase a phrase without which the sentence could stand on its own, albeit less clearly).

That said, umm... I have no such concerns about anyone who has already posted in this thread.

Then there's the issue of quotation marks which, again, has been addressed in another thread. Canadian style guides dictate that we follow the British convention: if a complete sentence or question is contained within the quotation marks (a/k/a speech marks), the punctuation stays on the inside. If the quotation marks merely indicate a phrase, however, the punctuation moves to the outside.

I vacillate between American and Canadian, so I guess I need to make a choice and stick with it. :gone:

(Climbing off my soapbox now)

I figure everyone knows the spelling variations between the UK and US. Canadians keep the 'u' in '-or' words and use the British spelling of words like "licence". (Note British/Canadian punctuation there ;)) and, in theory, words like "organise", although both spellings are considered acceptable in informal writing.

A different concern I have is that voters will mistake deliberate rule-breaking (e.g., fragments, run-ons or phrases in the passive voice) for emphasis as grammatical errors.

I think I need to get out more often. :ROFL:

[brokenfingers]

I was wowed. And I voted.

I'm finding a funny trend in my own voting. If you asked me, I could easily tell you who my 2 favorite writers are in this competition, with #s 3 and 4 close behind. Yet I believe I've wound up voting for a different person every week, and one of my two favorites has never received a vote from me.

That sounds so strange. But I guess I'd put it this way: There are 2 writers who I have confidence in every week-- that I know no matter what I throw at them, they're going to write something masterful. They both ooze style and I'm humbled by their brains. Two others rise to that level often, but are a little more inconsistent. Yet each week, someone's story sticks with me... and not necessarily one of the "masters." Even if I WANT to vote for my "favorites," I can't. I have to go with my gut and whose entry felt most magnetic. Otherwise it doesn't feel honest.

Thing is, I'll be sad if one of my two favorites doesn't win. So I'm at odds with myself. Is this weird?

LOL! I know what you mean, Jenna.

I have a few favorites who I think are excellent writers etc. but I've voted each week based on what I thought was the best story that week. The two don't always jive.

I'm curious to see what happens when it comes down to three, then two contestants.

Hmmmm... I suppose when that happens I'll have to up my price again.....

[dragonjax]

Something that arouses, perturbs, or spirtually moves me without being deliberate, self-aware, and manipulative. Nuanced, subtle, yet provocative. That's the highest form of short story telling, and it's extremely difficult to do. I expect that from this group of fine writers. I hold you all to a high standard. You can do better. And I know you will.

-- Simon-Ray
Damn straight. Well put, Simon (with a dash of Paula)-Ray! :Clap:

[Cassie88]

Since I'm relatively new to this forum, I didn't have any favorites at the beginning of the contest. However, now I do, but my vote always goes to the writer of the story that stays with me. I haven't kept track of my votes..and now, I'm curious to go back and see if I've voted for the same writer more than once.

Well, I went back and I see I've voted for a different writer each week, no repeats. This is getting exciting...at least for us readers!

[brinkett]

My concern about voters making a choice based on punctuation is that not only does it vary between UK/Canada/US, but also (within Canada, at least), it depends on which style guide a writer is using.

I'm only put off by very obvious errors. I don't focus on things like where a comma is placed, or whether the punctuation is inside or outside the quotation marks. I'm talking words that aren't spelled correctly (and not due to regional differences), obviously clunky sentences, obviously bad word choice, and obviously bad punctuation. The reason I can't vote for a story that contains these isn't because I'm fixated on grammar and spelling errors, but because they pull me out of the story and hence the story falls flat for me. It's not the grammar/spelling per se. Am I making any sense here?

I think readers notice mechanical errors more when the writing/story isn't strong to begin with, generally speaking.


A different concern I have is that voters will mistake deliberate rule-breaking (e.g., fragments, run-ons or phrases in the passive voice) for emphasis as grammatical errors.

I think you need to give readers a little more credit! :) And don't forget, most of us hang out here because we write.


I have a few favorites who I think are excellent writers etc. but I've voted each week based on what I thought was the best story that week. The two don't always jive.

Same here.

[mommie4a]

I was wowed. And I voted.

I'm finding a funny trend in my own voting. If you asked me, I could easily tell you who my 2 favorite writers are in this competition, with #s 3 and 4 close behind. Yet I believe I've wound up voting for a different person every week, and one of my two favorites has never received a vote from me.

That sounds so strange. But I guess I'd put it this way: There are 2 writers who I have confidence in every week-- that I know no matter what I throw at them, they're going to write something masterful. They both ooze style and I'm humbled by their brains. Two others rise to that level often, but are a little more inconsistent. Yet each week, someone's story sticks with me... and not necessarily one of the "masters." Even if I WANT to vote for my "favorites," I can't. I have to go with my gut and whose entry felt most magnetic. Otherwise it doesn't feel honest.

Thing is, I'll be sad if one of my two favorites doesn't win. So I'm at odds with myself. Is this weird?

Jenna - not only don't I think this is weird, I've done the same thing!!! I don't think I've voted for the same person twice and I'm finding that I know have expectations - eek. I don't really like that feeling - it almost makes me wish that the contest was anonymous. Then again, I think most of these writers have such distinct voices that I'd know anyway.

But I absolutely understand what you're describing.

[Mr Underhill]

That sounds so strange. But I guess I'd put it this way: There are 2 writers who I have confidence in every week-- that I know no matter what I throw at them, they're going to write something masterful.
I have a few favorites who I think are excellent writers etc. but I've voted each week based on what I thought was the best story that week. The two don't always jive.I have been following the latter method as described by Mr Fingers. And yet there is one contender who consistently turns in a quality piece, but for whom I have only voted for once thus far.

There is also one contestant for whom I find myself rooting, yet have not been able to cast a vote for on account of stumbling over h––† own shoelaces. Fortunately, though I have not yet made my final decision, I believe this will be the week I shall cast my vote for that one.

And to add to the chorus, this week's offerings far outstrip what we had at the trough last week. I considered taking last week's pieces to task by name, but let it lie. I could still point out the technical flaws from last week both in my favorites and others, in the interest of improving the ambient level of effort, or not.

This week, however, everyone seems to be on their best language and skills.

Bravo.


†Your modern English language desperately, DESPERATELY needs an animate pronoun of indeterminate gender.

[stranger]

I also feel that the prose writing of some of the contestants is superb, but I don't chose based on that-- it's all about the story. Better writing enhances a story, of course.

I'm trying to figure out what I want from a story. Maybe this is it: If my computer crashes after reading three quarters of it, am I dying to find out what happened next? But then-- because I'm hard to please-- I want to be satisfied by the ending.

This week, none of the entries stood out and said vote for me. Willian Haskin's entry had the most satisfying ending so he got my vote this week.

(A thought popped into my head while writing this: Is it an advantage to be the last entry, stuck in the mind when thoughts turn towards voting? Is that why Williams waits till the last minute before entering?)

[JennaGlatzer]

Nah, I think he's just a procrastinator who likes to drive us crazy. ;)

[Samm]

There is also one contestant for whom I find myself rooting, yet have not been able to cast a vote for on account of stumbling over h––† own shoelaces. Fortunately, though I have not yet made my final decision, I believe this will be the week I shall cast my vote for that one.

===

†Your modern English language desperately, DESPERATELY needs an animate pronoun of indeterminate gender.


:idea: "its" ;)

[KTC]

I will say that I have two definite favs too. This round I voted for one of them...but I haven't always voted for one of them. I have my eye on these 2 to make the final 2...I will have to heed the advice of Seacrest and vote for them! But no, I think I try to put aside the bias of these favourites while voting...choosing just the work each vote. It's like American Idol...my fav was Vonzell...but if I were voting I probably would have voted for her only 2 maybe three times tops. Anyway, I voted for one of my idols this week...loved their piece...loved it!

[maestrowork]

Funny. I haven't voted for the same person twice either. In a way, I think it's a good thing, that we're voting for the work, and not the person. That makes the contest so much harder, and so much more real.

[LieselGarmach]

My plan this week was to print out all of the stories, cut off who wrote them, and take them to work to read at lunch.

I was out of paper for my printer. Bah. Then I nearly ran out of time so I read each one once. I waited 20 minutes, thought about what each story had been about, and voted for the one that I could remember the most about.

It wasn't easy and it wasn't my preferred mode, especially with the numbers so low now.

After re-reading the stories, though, I am confident my vote would have remained the same. I was surprised by whom I voted for, as I have not enjoyed prior entries by the same person.

Excellent entries this week - all of you.

[SRHowen]

For me I look for writing that puts me there--makes me feel something other than the words on the screen. It has to hint at more than just a surface story, it needs to speak of the past, the present and the future--in other words the characters or situations have to be real enough to make the persons on the stories real.

This week I voted for William--again, I have voted for him before for the above reasons--and this week his story spoke very closely of my own 7th grade as writer experience. I got an A but also had written on the top, bad choice of subject matter. Oh well. But in his story I could see the past, could guess at the person the young writer would become based on this one snip of life--it gave me insight into the author.

Good non-fiction, about a personal event, should IMHO always do that.

And in fiction the characters should pop off the page, their emotions and soul painted so it sings to me ---

Shawn

[JennaGlatzer]

Truman got my vote this week. I thought the writing was delicious, every word in its proper place.

[trumancoyote]

Wow! I would've never expected that! :eek:

Thanks, Jenna :)

Thank you very much.

[GailKavanagh]

I can see the point of considering everything when you vote, but no way am I going to let a typo come between my vote and the piece that grabbed and held me to the end.
And actually, I didn't even notice a mispelling, it was so good...
Betcha you know who I voted for

[three seven]

I'm going to go against the sanctimonious grain here and say that were we voting out rather than voting in, I wouldn't have had any problem this week; one entry stood out to me immediately as being markedly weaker than the others. And it wasn't the one that went.

I ultimately gave Haskins my vote because, whilst I don't always agree that he has quite the edge everyone else attributes to him, his piece was the one I identified with most strongly, and the one that stuck in my mind the longest.

I haven't yet voted for the same person twice; I consider each entry on its own merits alone and vote accordingly. I wish I were convinced that every vote is cast in the same way. No offence and all that...

[William Haskins]

I ultimately gave Haskins my vote because, whilst I don't always agree that he has quite the edge everyone else attributes to him, his piece was the one I identified with most strongly, and the one that stuck in my mind the longest.

kiss me, slap me, kiss me.

[three seven]

Will, if you write the best piece I'll big you up. If you don't I'll slap you down. Easy!

[William Haskins]

that sounds both fair and reasonable, with just a hint of lemon.

[brinkett]

Gosh, this is a tough week. I don't have a vote to justify yet. The story I like the best (and very much more than the others) didn't really capture the theme. It has inspirational elements to it, and was about hope, but didn't leave me with a feeling of hope. I'm wavering over whether to vote for it. Do you think I'm being too strict if I don't?

[William Haskins]

i voted for firehorse. at first, i was jarred by her formatting experiments, but on closer examination, found them to be relevant and indicative of the way the mind works when trying to react rationally to the irrational.

there was an excellent arc of doubt, resolve and pain - with an ultimate resolution, that moving forward and trying to bring about change can be a vehicle for hope.

[maestrowork]

I think everyone did a great job. I did think a few were trying too hard. At the end, I voted for the one that touched me the most, in the most natural, heartfelt way.

[Cassie88]

I think everyone did a great job. At the end, I voted for the one that touched me the most, in the most natural, heartfelt way.

My sentiments, exactly.

[firehorse]

i voted for firehorse. at first, i was jarred by her formatting experiments, but on closer examination, found them to be relevant and indicative of the way the mind works when trying to react rationally to the irrational.
there was an excellent arc of doubt, resolve and pain - with an ultimate resolution, that moving forward and trying to bring about change can be a vehicle for hope. Thanks, William! I thought about adding more lists, but it sounds like my instinct was right: that would've been overkill.

The boards are landscape-oriented, so regular lines look longer and paragraphs look thinner in the final post. So the lists stood out even more distinctly than on the versions I'd printed out in 'profile' orientation.

I hope you're submitting your story to literary journals - Mac mentioned 1984; it reminded me of Fahrenheit 451. Very Bradbury-esque. And totally Haskins - which, I have no doubt, will be a widely-used phrase some day.

***
I realized I don't often discuss my vote. This week, I voted for Haskins, not because he voted for me :), but because his story had the strongest arc and was, IMO, the best-written. Kira's was also well-written and emotionally powerful, but it covered less emotional territory, so it wound up second (sorry, Kira!).

I think in the marathon of this contest, this was the "Isolation" week - most of us seem between our first and second winds and distracted by life's responsibilities. Let's skip "Despair" and say that next week will be "Affirmation". If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you haven't read all the entries ;).

[KTC]

I said I would not reveal my vote in the past. Well, this time I choose to...

I voted for Firehorse. Like William, I initially found the formatting to be jarring...but I quickly fell into the message. I had goosebumps actually.

Firehorse, please read the info below. I'm sure you are familiar with The Globe & Mail's Facts and Arguments. I think you should pick up a copy and read the column. It's on the back page of the first section. With an edit for word count your entry would be a perfect fit to this column. I think you should consider submitting it. I think it was faboo and I think you should share it with others... (They pay $125.00)

Send a submission to Facts & Arguments

Facts & Arguments submissions should be between 800 and 900 words and should be personal, not political in nature. Please send them by e-mail to facts@globeandmail.ca or by mail to 444 Front St. W., Toronto, M5V 2S9.


We review all essays we receive but unfortunately cannot provide feedback because the volume is too great. If we plan to use your piece we will notify you within two weeks of receiving it.

[KTC]

Truman got my vote this week. I thought the writing was delicious, every word in its proper place.

I agree with what you said Jenna. But we can't vote for him! Truman...you have a following buddy.

Keep posting in the Just for Fun if you find the time, Zach. (For little ole us.)

[brinkett]

I think everyone did a great job. I did think a few were trying too hard. At the end, I voted for the one that touched me the most, in the most natural, heartfelt way.
This is what I ended up doing; choosing the story that touched me in a heartfelt way. I, too, thought some were trying too hard.


at first, i was jarred by her formatting experiments,

The formatting didn't jar me at all. I didn't even think about lists and things until people started bringing it up here. Probably because it's not fiction (though still a story), so I didn't find it odd that lists were included.

[brokenfingers]

I must admit, the entries were all good but in the end I voted the only way I knew how:



I used my Ouija board...

[William Haskins]

for what it's worth, i'm fascinated reading these comments, even when they're not specific to a particular story.

please, do continue.

[firehorse]

Same here.

[SRHowen]

I haven't voted yet, I am going back and forth between two of them--the kicker for me is the leave the reader with a feeling of hope.

Most this time gave us the set up, the reason someone needed hope, but then they answered it with a solution. They solved the issue--so while there was hope in the story I was not left with a feeling of hope. Does that make sense?

If someone is told they have cancer then told by the doc that they have a 90% chance of recovery, then they leave the doc's office with a feeling of hope. But if they have had their last treatment then told they have recovered fully, they no longer have the hope of survival, they know they made it.

Sigh

So I am looking at the two that left me with out the finaly resolution but gave me hope that a good thing would happen.

In both I found some mechanics issues and some typos--right now I am thinking, hmmm, maybe go with the writer I see who is a better overall writer not just better on this one entry--

Choices choices--

[brinkett]

Most this time gave us the set up, the reason someone needed hope, but then they answered it with a solution. They solved the issue--so while there was hope in the story I was not left with a feeling of hope. Does that make sense?

Yes. I found the same thing. Some of the writers resolved the story. The story was indeed about hope, but in order to leave the reader with a feeling of hope, I felt there needed to be some sense that something would happen in the future, or that the hope the character/writer had in the story was going to carry them to greater things in the future. Several of the stories lacked that.


In both I found some mechanics issues and some typos--right now I am thinking, hmmm, maybe go with the writer I see who is a better overall writer not just better on this one entry--

I had the same problem, and in the end decided to go with the story I most liked that met the guidelines (leave the reader with a feeling of hope), which I also enjoyed tremendously, but which had a few technical niggles. I thought one story was superb, but unfortunately it didn't leave me with that feeling of hope. I do feel that part of being a good writer, especially in a contest, is the ability to write to guidelines.

[mommie4a]

I must admit, the entries were all good but in the end I voted the only way I knew how:



I used my Ouija board...

Personally, I like Bill Frist's method for judges - even though I'm not a Republican and don't particularly like him - the magic eight ball.

[maestrowork]

"The outlook looks sh!tty" -- that's what my 8-ball said.

[brinkett]

I was thinking that perhaps broken fingers' method hinted at what story he voted for, but I could be wrong...

[rhymegirl]

Oh, help! I can't make up my mind! I like this one, this one, and this one. How am I going to decide?

[William Haskins]

"The outlook looks sh!tty" -- that's what my 8-ball said.

ahhhhhhhh, this makes it all worth it....

[rhymegirl]

Okay, I think I have decided now. I am choosing the piece that held my attention throughout, didn't have any boo-boos, and touched me emotionally. I also felt a sense of hope at the end of it.

I'll send this person a PM.

[William Haskins]

ohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleas eletitbeme
ohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleas eletitbeme
ohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleas eletitbeme
ohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleas eletitbeme
ohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleas eletitbeme
ohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleas eletitbeme
ohgodpleaseletitbeme.......

[SRHowen]

I voted--sheesh. It was hard this time. In one though I was left with more hope than the other. I felt the character's hope in it.

William again.

Partly because he consistently writes good stories that have the story elements I look for--ones I look for when slipping through the slush pile.

And in the end that's all that counts.

[rhymegirl]

ohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleas eletitbeme
ohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleas eletitbeme
ohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleas eletitbeme
ohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleas eletitbeme
ohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleas eletitbeme
ohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleaseletitbemeohgodpleas eletitbeme
ohgodpleaseletitbeme.......

I love your tactic. I might have to change my mind.

[William Haskins]

oops. did i say that out loud?

[William Haskins]

I might have to change my mind.

you don't have to pretend.

i appreciate your vote and thanks for the wonderful PM. you're right about my genius and all of the things you said about, you know... the others.

[Sarita]

Haskins, you're really cracking me up tonight.

[William Haskins]

i wish i could learn to laugh. help me, sara. free me.

[Sarita]

biting my lip... and my tongue.

[maestrowork]

Simon-Ray: that's the most pathetic, god-awful vote pandering I've ever lived to see.

Paula: Oh, Simon, you're just jealous no contestant ever slept with YOU.

[rhymegirl]

Haskins, you're really cracking me up tonight.

What has gotten into him, Sara? Is he drinking? Is he spending too much time in the house of love?

[maestrowork]

(psst, I think Kate is on to us, Will... we'd better switch brains again before someone finds out)

[Sarita]

You know, he did sound an awful lot like that conversation we were having earlier, Ray.... That would explain it.

Or maybe Kate's right. The house of love can get to anyone, eventually. Eeeexcellent....

[brokenfingers]

All the contestants had wonderful entries this week, even Haskins.

(I'm glad that sentence-stringer worked out for ya, buddy. Just checked my Pay Pal account by the way...hint, hint)

[William Haskins]

What has gotten into him, Sara? Is he drinking? Is he spending too much time in the house of love?

i'm going blind, and it seems to be affecting my sense of humor. absinthe is the only thing that appears to help.

[Sarita]

absinthe is the only thing that appears to help.
Watch out, Lautrec. That stuff's deadly.

[maestrowork]

You know, he did sound an awful lot like that conversation we were having earlier, Ray.... That would explain it.

What conversation? I deny everything...

[William Haskins]

(psst, I think Kate is on to us, Will... we'd better switch brains again before someone finds out)

f*ck that, dude! this one actually works.

[rhymegirl]

you don't have to pretend.

i appreciate your vote and thanks for the wonderful PM. you're right about my genius and all of the things you said about, you know... the others.

Ummm....am I suddenly caught in The Twilight Zone?

[maestrowork]

at least now, with will's brain, i can write some good poetry... CRAP. I'm good... I can't WRITE.

[rhymegirl]

Why don't you switch avatars with him?

[maestrowork]

oh no, don't you start that again.

[rhymegirl]

I'm not starting anything. You said something about switching brains with Will.