Silly Screenwriting Question - phone conversation

[crimsonlaw]

Phone conversations in a script. For whatever reason I don't know to write one without it feeling awkward.

I'm dealing with a quick phone conversation in the middle of a lunch scene right now. I'm basically writing one side of the conversation. This is one of those short little "hey, sorry, I'm eating lunch; I'll be there shortly; don't forget my golf clubs" sort of conversations if that helps provide a frame of reference. For whatever reason, I really want to put little parentheticals where a pause would go. Are my instincts right or am I just suffering from a newly-surfacing mental illness?

Along these same lines, I feel the same way with "bigger" phone conversations. Having a longer phone conversation feels cumbersome to me when I write one. Should a writer just lay the dialog out there and leave the powers-that-be to film longer phone conversations however they desire?

I'm usually pretty good about just writing the script and leaving the directing/casting/etc to do their jobs, but I get all weird and controlly about this one issue.

Hopefully these questions make sense. Hopefully people don't gawk at me for my total lack of knowledge (and pants). Thanks in advance for your help!

[Jon-Luke]

Maybe this will help.

If you don't want to hear the other end of the conversation...

BILLY
Hey... Sorry I'm eating lunch...

His eyes apologize to her.

BILLY (CONT'D)
I'll be there shortly.

He's about to put the phone away when he remembers.

BILLY (CONT'D)
Don't forget my golf clubs

He smiles at her and fills her wine glass.

Bigger phone conversations need to cut between the caller and callee and remember when phone calls are filmed 90% of the time the entire conversation if filmed from each characters point of view this allows for more editing options.

I think its always better if possible to have your characters busy doing something different to just sitting and talking on the phone, put them in a church meeting so they have to whisper or have them in the middle of a car crash so that they really don't have time to speak - phone calls are often necessary evils so make them as interesting as possible. People never call when you are waiting for the phone to ring - they always call in the middle of your favorite TV show or when you are trying to reverse into a highway or some other inappropriate time. Have fun with it!

[clockwork]

Hello there. Welcome to the forum.

Don't be afraid to use the "search" button at the top of each page. I did a quick search for threads in Scriptwriting with the word 'phone' in the thread title and got all these...

Phone Conversations (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=94675)
Writing Phone Calls (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=99707)
phone calls in scripts (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=69099)
Phone Calls (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=36745)
Phone Call Dialogue (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=26003)
One more question re: phone conversations (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=25011)
Talking on the phone (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=10214)

That should help you with the technique side of it at least. ;)

[clockwork]

Regards the specifics of your question, if you're taking about the pasues in between the character listening and the character speaking, I've seen it done many ways but more often than not it's...

MIKE
(into phone)
Hi, it's me. No, I'm having lunch. Why?
Who said that? Paul needs a kick
up the ass. Yes, I know he's just doing
his job...

etc, etc.

And as you can see, although you don't get a great sense of timing, you do get a sense of the conversation and your brain naturally registers when Mike would pause while he's listening. You could rewrite the scene to include (beats) and (pauses) and stage directions like, "Mike sips his water while he listens." Ultimately it's a style choice you have to make. One saves a lot more space but as long as it's very clear what's happening, you could do this one a number of ways.

[crimsonlaw]

Ah, ok. I appreciate the help and the free knowledge about the search command. I'll try to use it so I don't take up unnecessary space in the future!

[clockwork]

It's cool - I actually realised afterwards that you were asking a more specific question as well (that's me reading too fast as usual) but I'm sure you'll find useful info in the links provided and of course, you may get other replies here that could help.