paraphrasing lyrics

[IdiotsRUs]

I know we had a thread on using lyrics ( not that I can find it though - nothing new there. I can lose things that are sitting right in front of my nose) and for the life of me I can't remember what the advice was, because I'm going senile.

So I haz a question about paraphrasing lyrics. Is it ok do you think?

The two lines in question:

The singer wailed that he was pain, he was hope, he was suffer. I didn’t know about him, but the sword half an inch from my right eye made me think that the woman pointing it might very well be all three.

[Gillhoughly]

Paraphrasing lyrics is fine, providing they work in any given scene. I've done it myself, but only in the most glancing way.

You've not got enough there to give you proper feedback, so try the SYW forum with a few more paragraphs so readers have something to anchor them.

For what it's worth, I have no idea what song you're paraphrasing. The words you have up only impart the impression of poor grammar.

Also, if I have someone pointing a sword (point) in my eye, my entire focus is going to be narrowed down to that, which tends to block out distractions from the wider environment.

It's a survival reflex. We react to the immediate threat. Perhaps you're trying for humor there, but even then you have to respect that your MC is going to be looking for a way out of his/her fix. I've had a situation where I fired a gun and absolutely did not hear the bang or feel it buck in my hand. It was danged weird.

Music is a tricky thing; what you think everyone in the world must be familiar with turns out to be unknown to most of your target audience.

Consider also that music is often generational. What's hot for your age group might be something your slightly older or younger editor can't stand. I used to hate my parents' favorite music, but with the passage of time I'm fond of it now. I could never convince them to enjoy my favs, though.

Hie thee to SYW, anon!

[IdiotsRUs]

Thanks for the answer.

Actually I wasn't intending it to be familiar, I was expecting it to be not well known ( for various reasons) - although if you've heard the song it'd probably be obvious - I just wanted to make sure that I could use it like that. There is a theme running through this of the music that is constantly in the background, and because of how my MC is, I'd like to link his internal thoughts with some of the lyrics ( some from real songs, some made up). Just an effect I'm toying with.

As for the sword point -- well it's about the fifth worst thing that's happened to him today. He's getting a little blaze :)

[maestrowork]

I think paraphrasing is fine, or relaying the message in the lyrics. I did that in my book.

[Gillhoughly]

Or even blasé? http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/icons/icon12.gif

[IceCreamEmpress]

You're doing something very similar to what Neil Gaiman described doing in his blog (http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2005/06/fathers-day-thoughts.asp) (see answer to a reader question about halfway down).

So, yeah, I think basically anything that has the Neil Gaiman Seal of Approval is OK :)

[IdiotsRUs]

Well if Neil Gaiman say it's ok...:)

And yes, I always spell blase wrong. Just one o' them words that trips me every time. I can never work out how to get the accent either.

Thanks guys.

[johnzakour]

Neil's great. (He's mentioned my comic in his blog so he must be cool.) But what works for Neil may not always work for the rest of us.

Chances are though if you are just paraphrasing you will be fine. In the end the final decision may very well come from your publisher's lawyers.

[Gillhoughly]

I don't know how to do the accent either. This time I did a copy paste from a dictionary on line. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/icons/icon7.gif


I have trouble with certain words with "ise" and ize" endings and a few other tricky ones like "ceiling" and "weird." I used to spell it "curiousity" until my first editor's sweeping blue pencil sent me over the wall.

When I hit one I write the correct spelling on a slowly growing list over my desk and refer to it. I really have tried to learn them, but there's a glitch in my brain on some words that refuses to improve! http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/icons/icon8.gif Grr.