Is This Sex Scene Too Intense? (nothing graphic)

[Ken]

It's between two women, and concludes with one of them sticking out their tongue for the obvious purpose of.... Is that too intense for a mainstreamer? No action described or anything graphic, but the implications are loud and clear. Don't want my novel to have to be stuck on a back shelf and wrapped in cellophane ;-)

[CaroGirl]

I should think most modern sensibilities could manage that without taking too much offense.

[regdog]

Doesn't seem overly intense to me.

[veinglory]

In my experience books are not shelved differently or shrink-wrapped for content unless it is pictorial.

[Straka]

the obvious purpose of.... licking a lolly pop? What's graphic about that? And the answer 3 licks to get to the center if you were wondering.

I think context has a lot to do with it, if your language and voice is consistent, it's less shocking than if you just drop oral sex in the middle of a children's book for example. Hope that makes sense.

[NeuroFizz]

It's between two women, and concludes with one of them sticking out their tongue for the obvious purpose of...
...making a fart sound?

Oral sex can be mainstream. What takes it to the graphic genre is all in the way it is described and used in the story. Anyone who is going to toss the book just because of inferred oral sex is probably not going to get that far--they will probably toss it when they find out the sex is between two women. These people will represent an extremely limited slice of the readership pie. Very few authors, and very few stories, can satisfy all 360 degrees.

Go after the pie with a full tongue.

[Ken]

thanks. The build up to the scene is definitely in place. Not a children's book, lol. For adults, but wouldn't want to write myself out of the teen market, either. Not sure how that works or if I should be concerned about that.


thanks Neuro. You've put my mind at rest :-)

[wacker]

If you are trying to corner the teen market also with your book, I would bee a little concerned in how I phrase the sex scenes. As it could be misconstrued as being offensive towards the teen market. With it being for the adult market only, you are less likely to offend people if your sex scene is graphically described in the way you are considering it now.

Hope that helps

[nevada]

Ummmm have you read romance novels lately? That's tame compared to some of them. No worries.

[Shar-Jan]

I have never read a sex scene that wasn't awkward and creepy sounding. Just avoid them or if they're crucial to the plot end it before it starts and just leave it up to the readers imaginations.

[RedScylla]

Boo to an absence of sex scenes. I have read plenty of sex scenes that were neither awkward or creepy. I like a good sex scene in a book and hate it when all sex is subtracted. I don't think what you're describing, Anis, is more intense than anything I've read in a variety of mainstream novels.

I have never read a sex scene that wasn't awkward and creepy sounding. Just avoid them or if they're crucial to the plot end it before it starts and just leave it up to the readers imaginations.

[Shadow_Ferret]

It's between two women, and concludes with one of them sticking out their tongue for the obvious purpose of....


Oral sex can be mainstream.

Dang. I am so naive. Until I got to Neuro's post I was actually going to ask if she was sticking it out in the obvious way that I do, to give the other person the raspberries.

[auntybug]

Ed... my MC kisses her way down her hubby's chest... do you think you get where that is going or is going to give him tummy raspberries ;)

[Shadow_Ferret]

Well, you helped me by describing it. The OP ...

nevermind. :o

[Shar-Jan]

Boo to an absence of sex scenes. I have read plenty of sex scenes that were neither awkward or creepy. I like a good sex scene in a book and hate it when all sex is subtracted. I don't think what you're describing, Anis, is more intense than anything I've read in a variety of mainstream novels.

Read Birdsong and say that. I swear I stopped reading that book when I could hear Sebastian Faulks masturbating with every turn of the page. I know why he made the sex scenes so graphic, but he couldn't make them sound anything other than bad fanfiction.

It had such potential as well.

And George RRRMRMR Martin or whatever the hell is name is. If you find yourself writing a scene where a twelve year old girl gets raped by Genghis Khan, and Ghengis is meant to be the good guy because he went down on her... then just hand yourself into the police, your dangerously disturbed.

Unless you are going to do it with respect, don't even try.

[RedScylla]

Not quite sure where you get the idea that because you can cite two examples of bad sex scenes that all sex scenes are bad. Why the presumption that Anis isn't going to do her sex scene with respect?

Read Birdsong and say that. I swear I stopped reading that book when I could hear Sebastian Faulks masturbating with every turn of the page. I know why he made the sex scenes so graphic, but he couldn't make them sound anything other than bad fanfiction.

It had such potential as well.

And George RRRMRMR Martin or whatever the hell is name is. If you find yourself writing a scene where a twelve year old girl gets raped by Genghis Khan, and Ghengis is meant to be the good guy because he went down on her... then just hand yourself into the police, your dangerously disturbed.

Unless you are going to do it with respect, don't even try.

[Shar-Jan]

I was talking about the GRR Martin school of sex scene there.

I haven't read anything that has changed my opinion that sex scenes, like dream sequences just don't work well in prose. Even the sex scenes in the 1001 nights are just plain weird at best and disgusting stuff at worst.

[WendyNYC]

Well, lucky for you, I blogged about writing sex scenes (http://wendypinkstoncebula.blogspot.com/2008/07/swc-day-3-dark-comical-sex.html)after I attended a lecture by Elizabeth Benedict (author of The Joy of Writing Sex.) I'm a total sex-scene-writing prude and her comments were incredibly helpful.

I don't think that scene sounds over the top at all, Anis.

[veinglory]

SharJan, that is clearly a matter of taste rather than fact, or the whole genre of erotica would not exist ;)

[IceCreamEmpress]

Clearly the groups that awarded all kinds of international prizes to Birdsong did not share your view about the sex scenes, SharJan.


It's between two women, and concludes with one of them sticking out their tongue for the obvious purpose of.... Is that too intense for a mainstreamer?

Not "too intense" but it seems odd to me, anis. I've been married and out of the dating pool for a long time, but I have to say that I have never encountered another lady sticking her tongue out at me as an invitation to oral sex.

[Ken]

I have never read a sex scene that wasn't awkward and creepy sounding. Just avoid them or if they're crucial to the plot end it before it starts and just leave it up to the readers imaginations.


I actually do just that, cutting away just when they're about to get down. I did this to stay in line with the overall theme of the work, though which puts forth an ephemeral reality, so that there's some doubt as to whether anything is actually happening in the work or not, lol. In all honesty, I am also very bad at writing sex scenes and the ones I might create probably would creep readers out, or put them to sleep. So it's good I had an excuse to avoid it this time around. Next time I think I'll have a go at it after checking out Wendy's blog. // Thanks again, everyone. Very insightful comments.

[Ken]

but I have to say that I have never encountered another lady sticking her tongue out at me as an invitation to oral sex.

she sticks out her tongue after they've got their clothes off and are in the sack, on the verge of initial contact. Still probably not how a scene like that would unfold in reality. There'd be some preliminary kissing and whatnot, but maybe not?

[Ken]

Ummmm have you read romance novels lately? That's tame compared to some of them. No worries.

...last romance novel I read was Anna Karenina.

[veinglory]

The same could be said about the range of sexual explicitness in speculative or literary fiction, or most genres. Even westerns sometimes come [sic] with sex scenes.

[Telstar]

I'm not really a fan of graphically described sex scenes.

[Yeshanu]

Ed... my MC kisses her way down her hubby's chest... do you think you get where that is going or is going to give him tummy raspberries ;)

Actually, I could imagine that lending some humour to the novel. :)

NeuroFizz is probably right--the people who would toss a book at the implication that there is oral sex would toss it as soon as they found out the sex was between two women.

[Prawn]

It's funny, I just finished commenting in a thread titled How much violence is too much?
(http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=114790) and my answer is really the same for both. If you leave the most sanguine details for the reader to imagine, it will involve them in a way that graphic depiction will not.

[IThinkICan29]

I don't think your sex scene is too intense. Heck, I'm a bit of a sex scene connoisseur. It's not so much about the sex for me (surprised?) but the imagery. Can a person use words that have absolutely NOTHING to do with sex to describe the scene and still make it pallatable (so to speak)? Breathtaking even? I love that!

Good luck.

[Atlantis]

It's between two women, and concludes with one of them sticking out their tongue for the obvious purpose of.... Is that too intense for a mainstreamer? No action described or anything graphic, but the implications are loud and clear. Don't want my novel to have to be stuck on a back shelf and wrapped in cellophane ;-)

I have read a bazillion romance books that have done that and more. Don't worry about it.

[KAP]

I don't see that as "too intense." I see it as mild. But then...

I include little sex in my novels and nothing graphic. I have nothing against this natural, healthy act. It just doesn't fit in my novels to date. I'm amazed at perceptions, though. I shouldn't be, but I am.

To illustrate, an acquaintance read my latest, STRUCK. In it, a demented, heartless man slaughters other men, dumps their bodies in an arroyo, and then dismisses their lives. Those aren't graphic scenes, but they're hard to miss. My acquaintance had one complaint with my novel: my singular use of the term "f***buddy," which she whispered while complaining, even though we alone. So I'm left to think: Slaughtering humans=okay. Disposable human lives=what the heck. Casual sex between two men=offensive and not to be mentioned out loud.

So a tongue left dangling mid-scene? Oh my.

kap

[Ken]

tweaked the sex scene and got it reading right, with the tongue in place and lolling out more than ever. The adjustment went smoothly once I took off the kid gloves and handled the scene like any other one thanks to the feedback I got here.
Thanks again, everyone, for helping me through the scene :-)

ps Intriguing question ICan29:
Can a person use words that have absolutely NOTHING to do with sex to describe the scene and still make it pallatable (so to speak)? Breathtaking even?

Will have to give this some thought and maybe give it a go. Always like a challenge.

[IdiotsRUs]

Can a person use words that have absolutely NOTHING to do with sex to describe the scene and still make it pallatable (so to speak)?

A comedian over here once did a sketch of a sexual encounter where all the body parts etc were replaced by the names of flowers ( She touched my chrysanthemum, so I stroked her Lily of the Valley). Breathtaking... in a hilarious way.

I'm sure it could be done with less humour, but it's gonna be tricky keeping it serious and not tipping into parody.

[seun]

I haven't read anything that has changed my opinion that sex scenes, like dream sequences just don't work well in prose. Even the sex scenes in the 1001 nights are just plain weird at best and disgusting stuff at worst.

Sounds like your mind is made up you'll never read anything that will change your opinion.