Cursing

[kimb68]

I have a fierce potty mouth, but my hero doesn't curse. The problem is, I'm so desensitized, I'm not sure what counts as a curse these days.

So, I'm asking the non-swear-word-using folks out there, which of the following (if any) would you find unacceptably coarse:

Heck
Damn
Hell
Screw
Darn
Bloody
Freaking
Flaming

Similarly, if I'm missing any good non-curse epithets, please suggest them. (They have to be good ones! No "sweet Jesus in a pie shell" or "great googlymoogly"s, if you don't mind. I'm perfectly capable of making those up myself. Oh, and they need to work in the U.S.)

[FTL]

I was watchin' some Cagney on TCM tonight.

It's funny when he calls people "smack offs"

[Oberon]

Well golly gee, there oughta be more than that. shucks, if I could get this goldurned brain workin' I could think of a few. Leapin' lizards! That's Orphan Annie. I know, it sucks. Really too blamed old-fashioned. Shoot! That's one. Gee whiz. Sounds like 1930 don't it? Balls! For cryin' out loud. Bastard, son of a bitch, or if you prefer, son of a gun. Dang. Spit! Jeez, jeepers, sheesh. Holy smoke or mackerel or whatever, Batman.

I don't think bloody works in the U.S. And can anyone define spalpeen for me? Good luck with your cursing. Curses! Foiled again! Another oldie.

[EriRae]

I use "bloody" all the time, here in the states. I blame Buffy and my British brother-in-law.

I'm also too desensitized to advise on this.

[Stunted]

Drat. It doesn't have much force behind it, but it's pretty cute.

[Phoebe H]

Well, I'm one of those people who only curses while driving or playing video games. "Drats" is actually part of my vocabulary. And that was even before having kids. So I'll wade into it.

So much depends on era, age of character, and region.

A lot of places, you wouldn't want to use Hell.
Screw is relatively inoffensive, but probably wouldn't be used by someone who doesn't curse, because of it's meaning.
You didn't mention "sucks" but that's another one that is now ubiquitous, but that a lot of people avoid, so you'd want to watch out for it. (Though that's more generational than anything. Under 30 and it's probably okay.)

The others you listed should be fine.

Terms I've either used, or heard other people use regularly:
Bastages
What in the Sam Hill?
Dangit
Shoot
S-O-B
H-E-double toothpicks
Fudge

and the one I tried to start, but never caught on: Crump!

[frisco]

I think my problem is I have too many curses words in my latest manuscript. I think I have about 50 F bombs ( or derivates of the F bomb) in it and am now a bit concerned that publishers will turn it down because of the profanity.

I should have substituted a few great googlymoogly's instead.

[Calamity_Jones]

I use bloody, I am British, after all... But it is a problem... What swear words to use... I have one of my character saying "criminy" at one point :P

But then, I say that too, on occasion.

Most people swear constantly these days, so realistic dialogue would include lots of foul language. But reading foul language in a book, unless done exceedingly well, seems... well... lame.

[IceCreamEmpress]

I think my problem is I have too many curses words in my latest manuscript. I think I have about 50 F bombs ( or derivates of the F bomb) in it and am now a bit concerned that publishers will turn it down because of the profanity.

Not likely unless you're trying to sell to the Christian market, or if it's a book for middle-grade or younger readers. Don't worry about it.

[Phaeal]

In my current WIP, my teen characters use the "F" and "Sh" bombs under great pressure, but not incessantly, because that bores me. Yeah, unrealistic, I know. ;) Mostly I use the less explosive "Damn," "Hell," "Sucks," and "Crap." But I expect even these would offend some markets. Oh well.

"Great googly-mooglies" rocks!

[Alpha Echo]

shoot
SOB
H-E-double hockey sticks
son of a gun
darnit
friggin'

[Vandal]

beyotch
frack (or frackin')

[tehuti88]

I have a fierce potty mouth, but my hero doesn't curse. The problem is, I'm so desensitized, I'm not sure what counts as a curse these days.

So, I'm asking the non-swear-word-using folks out there, which of the following (if any) would you find unacceptably coarse:

Heck
Damn
Hell
Screw
Darn
Bloody
Freaking
Flaming

Similarly, if I'm missing any good non-curse epithets, please suggest them. (They have to be good ones! No "sweet Jesus in a pie shell" or "great googlymoogly"s, if you don't mind. I'm perfectly capable of making those up myself. Oh, and they need to work in the U.S.)

I'm a complete non-curser in real life. I don't even say "hell" or "damn," not even when it's part of a title (like "Damn Yankees" or "Hellraiser"). I'm tempted to use the words "bitch" and "piss" a lot but never do. I find the other words on your list acceptable, though I don't use things like "freaking" or "flaming" or "bloody."

I do say "frigging" a lot, even though the original meaning is rather coarse; it just seems tame enough to me. :o

Then there are the lesser but kind of offensive (in terms of children, I believe) terms such as crap, poop, fart, turd, butt(head), booger, snot(head), etc.

I often tend to just make up weird things as the mood strikes. Lately I say "crudstick" and "crudbucket" a lot, for example. I imagine that when my cat is disappointed, he says things like, "Poop on a stick!"

I can't say any of this makes for fantastic cursing (my characters make plentiful use of the lesser curses), but that's just me. :o

ETA:

Screw is relatively inoffensive, but probably wouldn't be used by someone who doesn't curse, because of it's meaning.

See my above comment on the word "frigging." As a total non-swearer (I don't even say "bastard" when referring to a literal bastard!), I find "screw" acceptable as a tame replacement for the F word, just as with the word "frigging" (which as I said had a very uncouth meaning in Victorian times, it seems).

[Nakhlasmoke]

Not likely unless you're trying to sell to the Christian market, or if it's a book for middle-grade or younger readers. Don't worry about it.

My YA has about 70 f-bombs in it...no one has said anything yet. (Granted, my agent hasn't started subbing yet, so we'll see what editors say) Shady Lane's Break (YA most definitely) is also heavy on the F, and that's coming out with Simon Pulse (I think)

eta: I should add - both books are for the older YA audience, and not for the tweens group

[Clair Dickson]

Dagnabbit!
I use froot loops when I'm in a place (like work/school) where I should use the F-word. And tailfeathers for ass.

There are some people who find hell and damn bad (they are curses). I would never say them, for example, in the classes I teach. My husband rarely says even crap. He often uses crud. (I don't know how me married me and my foul, vulgar, crass mouth!) But, also something to note, people who don't swear may not have many places where the less-equivalents come up.

Ex. I might say: "I dropped the damn book on my toe!" (More like f-ing, but anyway ;-)
Hubby just says: "I dropped the book on my toe!" If he's really upset, he'll say "Dammit, dammit, dammit." Then no other swear words in the following explanation.

[Carmy]

Bloody and dammit / damnit appear frequently in one story. There is also a "bu**er off" somewhere around.

[DeleyanLee]

Rats!
Nuts!
Oh my stars!
Cherry pits! (a favorite of one of my nurses)

My favorites: God--bless America! (instead of damnation)
Son of a bah-chi (quasi-phoentic since I just say it instead of spell it out)

[shadrake]

'Coarseness' depends on the context where they are used. "Screw you" and "screw me" mean different things. Are they trying to be funny when they say it or expressing frustration or shock? Is it an insult or just the way they speak every day?

[DeleyanLee]

Oh, and my recent catch-phrase: "sucks dirty duck butt"

[Bufty]

Aiming for believable dialogue is far better than trying for 'realistic'.

Littering work with swear words in an attempt to achieve realism is wholly self-defeating. As you say, it would eventually come across as banal.

I use bloody, I am British, after all... But it is a problem... What swear words to use... I have one of my character saying "criminy" at one point :P

But then, I say that too, on occasion.

Most people swear constantly these days, so realistic dialogue would include lots of foul language. But reading foul language in a book, unless done exceedingly well, seems... well... lame.

[NeuroFizz]

If there will be numerous exclamations of this nature, I find it way more annoying than an equal number of curse words, particularly if the writer tries to get in a maximum number of curse-alternatives. Just go with a couple of signature exclamations and leave it at that. On the other hand, a good "cusser" may well take permutations as a challenge. It just doesn't have the same effect if a non-cusser tries to maximize the exclamatory vocabulary.

Also, if you have a non-cusser, save that one, major curse word for a really tense situation and have the character let it out with gusto--it will immediately convey the gravity of the situation. In this way, curse words (and non-curse words) can become more than speech mannerisms. They can be tools of the writer.

[Beach Bunny]

Desensitized or not, surely there are situations in life where one censors their speech? I have a seriously foul potty-mouth, but when I am around my Uncle I watch my languange and substitute clean words for the bad ones. So:
freaking, frigging, flipping, etc. for the f word
sugar, stuff, stuffing, etc for the s word
son of a biscuit eater
witch instead of bitch
Jiminy Christmas instead of JC
Well, you get the idea. :)

I'd be careful about using British slang if you're an american. You might be saying something more foul than the word you're subbing it for. ;)

[narnia]

My MC uses crap and zilch.

Here's a (hopefully related) question for the gang:

My MC also say "Oh my God" once in awhile, probably because I do. Do you think some may find this objectionable? Would an agent/editor point that out and suggest alternatives?

It's the little things that can be a pain sometimes ... sigh.

Thanks!

[Nakhlasmoke]

If your character says Oh my god, then that's what they say.

Pandering to other people's issues isn't going to make your character more believable

[mrockwell]

Well, owing to the popularity of Spongebob, many parents I know say, "tartar sauce." ;)

One yardstick I use is if I'd punish my kids for saying a word -- so, on your original list, hell, damn and screw would probably merit a reprimand.

-- Marcy

[Sunkissed27f]

Hmm....from the classics........

If talking about a man...He was/is such a dastardly man.
Or he is a dastard. Heehee.

Someone was cursing the other say and said "Bob Saget." Whatever that means.
What the fudge!
Sofa king.....dumb. Heehee.
Chit...

Oh shitakie!
Fuh-crying out loud.
Mother Pucker
Good flagit!
Holy chitchat!

[kimb68]

Oh, you guys are the best. This thread is chock-a-block with great cuss substitutes. And yes, I am planning on having my hero use the F word at a crucial moment, which I why I need him to be mild-spoken the rest of the time.

As for Bob Saget, it could be because in "The Aristocrats," he tells one of the filthiest versions of the joke.

[citymouse]

Cursing is not the same as cussing and swearing is different still.

Damn you! (to Hell/Hades/nether regions) is cursing. It's literally a curse. A very not nice thing to do.

Oh crap! is cussing.

I swear (to God/Heaven/all the saints) if you do that again I'll knock you into next year. Here you are calling upon higher powers to witness your words. This is also a serious remark.

Cursing, cussing, and swearing use specific words that indicate a specific intent. These days we cast these phrases around with little regard of what they really mean. But that's English for you. It's one of the most mutable of all languages.
C

[FennelGiraffe]

But, also something to note, people who don't swear may not have many places where the less-equivalents come up.

Ex. I might say: "I dropped the damn book on my toe!" (More like f-ing, but anyway ;-)
Hubby just says: "I dropped the book on my toe!" If he's really upset, he'll say "Dammit, dammit, dammit." Then no other swear words in the following explanation.

I agree with Clair. Someone who doesn't curse rarely uses a substitute word as a modifier. Constructions like "that darn book" are unlikely. They don't substitute; it just isn't part of their speech pattern. The exception would be someone who used to curse, but is trying to clean up their act.

When substitute words are used, it's more often as exclamations, such as "Darn it! I dropped a book on my toe."

[Phaeal]

And speaking of books, if you can drop Wilson and Hoelldobler's The Ants on your foot and not say, "You mf-ing g-dd--n f-ing piece of sh--!," you are a saint. Believe me, I know. ;)

I still love that book, though. Who needs two feet?

[OttR]

My mother doesn't curse and gets offended at cursing in a book or movies. I can tell you which ones from your list I wouldn't use around her.

Darn and heck are fine.
Hell is okay only if I'm not using it as a curse and talking about the actual place. Same thing with damn.
Screw is not good if I say "Screw you." or "Screw it." but "I screwed that up." is okay.
Freaking is out.
I've never heard anyone use flaming as a curse, but she doesn't like any obvious substitute for the F-word.
Crap is about the strongest word she'd use and I've only heard her use it a couple times when she's really upset.

[tehuti88]

I do say "frigging" a lot, even though the original meaning is rather coarse; it just seems tame enough to me. :o

Cripes. How could I forget "cripes"? My MC and I use that about as much as we use the word "frigging," for cripes' sake.

I agree with Clair. Someone who doesn't curse rarely uses a substitute word as a modifier. Constructions like "that darn book" are unlikely. They don't substitute; it just isn't part of their speech pattern. The exception would be someone who used to curse, but is trying to clean up their act.

When substitute words are used, it's more often as exclamations, such as "Darn it! I dropped a book on my toe."

Am I just weird or something?? I totally don't swear, and never have, but I use substitute words on their own AND as modifiers all the frigging time. :(

[Wolvel]

I've turned son of a bitch into son of a monkey, why I don't know it just keeps me from saying the real thing in front of my kid when I do something stupid.

[Captain Howdy]

Sorry I can't resist...was it Mr. Tate on Bewitched who would throw his hands up in the air and say "Great Caesar's Ghost"?

[Captain Howdy]

Not too far off topic I hope...I read a Douglas Clegg novel this week in which the protagonist told his five year old daughter (who attempted to say a Very Bad Word) that she couldn't say such words until she was old enough to drive. Made perfect sense to me.

[Bufty]

Crivens! and Jings! and Michty me! may ring bells for old Oor Wullie and The Broons readers!

[seun]

I have a fierce potty mouth, but my hero doesn't curse. The problem is, I'm so desensitized, I'm not sure what counts as a curse these days.

So, I'm asking the non-swear-word-using folks out there, which of the following (if any) would you find unacceptably coarse:

Heck
Damn
Hell
Screw
Darn
Bloody
Freaking
Flaming


I've always found the idea of Hell being a swearword quite strange. Surely by the same logic, Heaven should be swearing.

Anyway, I've been known to use the odd naughty word so my opinion probably isn't worth a toss.

[kuwisdelu]

No curses? Dang, that bites.

Bob Saget!

[astonwest]

So, I'm asking the non-swear-word-using folks out there, which of the following (if any) would you find unacceptably coarse:

Damn
This is the only one that's made it into my work...
though someone thought "whore" was a curse, so who knows?

Oh, and they need to work in the U.S.
Darn, I was going to give you some of the perfectly acceptable curse words in the official language of the Gohr. :)

[TrickyFiction]

Well, I'm a sailor who used to be a good, sunday-school girl.
I think my memory is good enough to give a shot at answering this.

Heck - An acceptable alternative to using "hell" as an expletive.
Damn - Unacceptable. The original curse word, in fact.
Hell - Only acceptable if it's a location, as in, "I don't want to go to Hell." As an expletive or an insult ("You go to Hell!"), it is unacceptable.
Screw - Unacceptable unless you're talking about what you might find at the other end of a screwdriver. (edit: OttR reminded me that, yes, to "screw something up" is fine. "Screw you!" is not.)
Darn - An acceptable substitute for "damn."
Bloody - Fine in America.
Freaking - Acceptable alternative to " the 'F' word, the mother of all swears."
Flaming - This one was not popular in my time, so I'm not sure.

It also depends on how conservative you want your MC to be. I went to a private school and had several friends who refused to use even the "acceptable alternatives." The first curse word I ever said was "ass," as in "smart ass" and that was in college. So you can get an idea of how conservative I was.

:) Answering this brought back a lot of memories.

[scribbler1382]

To the earlier poster worried that they'd get rejected because of cursing in their book: If that happens, that's a publisher you don't want to work with, anyways. The language should be in character with, well, your characters, but there's very few taboos (assuming you're not writing kids books). Read King or Jack Ketchum or Dan Simmons or Jeff Lindsay or....you get the idea.