Script dillema

[Ucla_sb]

So I got coverage back for a horror comedy I wrote and reaction was good as far as content but ultimately rejected due to formatting. One issue with content mentioned was there seemed to be four protagonists in the script... There ARE four protagonists in the script. The idea and theme is that these guys need to face reality and lean on one another to accomplish it. Is this to much for a spec? Advice?

[icerose]

I'd have to read it to say for sure, but one thing you should really do is learn formatting. If you were rejected due to formatting that should be the first thing you should be mastering. Formatting should be there and practically invisible so the story can simply flow in an orderly fashion.

[creativexec]

It seems unlikely that a script is rejected solely because of formatting. If AMERICAN BEAUTY came packaged in unacceptable font with margins out of alignment and other peccadilloes, it would still be AMERICAN BEAUTY.

Anyway, there's no excuse for formatting mistakes. It takes no skill, intellect or talent to learn formatting.

Are four protagonists too much? Probably. If you're writing a spec script, the narrative should revolve around one character. Producers are looking for "star vehicles." One great role to showcase one great actor.

In THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN, the protagonist is Yul Brenner - despite the other six titular gunslingers. In the original THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE, Gene Hackman is the protagonist - even though he's surrounded by a litany of Oscar winning actors. Even in "two-fisters" - like buddy comedies - there is just one protagonist. In RUSH HOUR, the protagonist is Jackie Chan - not Chris Tucker.

The protagonist is the character whose problem, journey and solution are all at the heart of the story. He makes the choices, has the best scenes, solves most of the problems and is in the middle of the climax.

Truth is that it's hard enough to write one fully fleshed out protagonist with an effective, meaningful and emotional transformational arc - let alone four.

It often results in a scattered and shallow narrative that is emotionally unsatisfying.

Your decision had a cause and effect throughout the narrative that sunk the script early on. (The reader kept asking himself, "Whose story is this anyway?")

Four protagonists coupled with bad formatting and, my guess is, the script appeared "amateur" from fade in to fade out.


:)

[Ucla_sb]

Formatting problems were dumb first timer mistakes. Lol it was things like action paragraphs to long, numbering scenes, using transitions and whatnot. Said it was written like a novel. Problem is I'm usually writing with me directing it in mind. I have since gone back and removed the offending passages as well as tightened it down a good 6 pages or so. Still editing it as a matter of fact and have my english teacher friend ready to fine tooth it once I'm done for grammar and punctuation. Just didn't understand how the reader didn't catch how all 4 characters were important. Even complete noobs who never read screenplays got that from it.

[Ucla_sb]

Thanks for the input guys!

the review said he really liked the characters and their dynamic. I'm starting to get the idea that the character who kicks the story into motion, by the plauge of being who he is, (romantic, white knight wannabe, self pitying), being so weak as a person does not allow the story to be carried on his shoulders thus making the other three characters stand out even more. So perhaps in my next rewrite, come from another of the characters pov may solve the problem? Thoughts?

[creativexec]

Just didn't understand how the reader didn't catch how all 4 characters were important. Even complete noobs who never read screenplays got that from it.

Professional readers know what to look for in scripts. Noobs probably don't. While the four protagonists might have had "importance" within the story, it doesn't mean they all played out effectively and successfully.


:)

You might want to find ways to strengthen that one character and put the burden on his shoulders rather than on the other characters. Writing a weak, inactive protagonist is common. Often empirical evidence to a weak protagonist is when other characters find themselves more active or stepping into the forefront of the story. Know the signs and look for them BEFORE you send your script for a professional read.

:)

[Ucla_sb]

Sorry not responding individually guys posting from the blackberry is slow going lol

[icerose]

From the sounds of it you need serious character development on your protagonist. It's not that the reader missed the four were important, it's that they noticed the one wasn't important enough.

[Ucla_sb]

All I can say is at least it was free. Thanks again for the advice.