Happy Hmmm?

[Ken]

I'm not religious, which always leaves me feeling lost in space during the holidays. I enjoy the festivities and give gifts in accords to my dual heritage, but still feel like an outsider.

It is similar to giving a gift without any thought. I care for the individual I'm giving the gift to, but not for the underlying reason that marks the occasion, though I do respect it. So in essence I am presenting others with empty boxes, and trampling on my own beliefs, or lack thereof, making a mockery of myself and the traditions I'm participating in, even though (to reiterate) I do respect those traditions practised by others.

Anyone relate to this at all?

[Don]

Yes, but I think you're being too hard on yourself.

It's not trampling your own beliefs and traditions to respect those of others. I'm not religious either, but I see no need to go into the religion forums and tell people there how I feel about it.

I think the same thing applies when you're visiting with friends and relatives during the holidays.

I'm glad to argue politics day in and day out, because those discussions can at least be grounded in fact and measured against reality.

When it comes to beliefs, I'm just not gonna go there, because bottom line it's all about belief and faith, and nobody's got a way to prove anything. As my daddy, a devout Christian, used to say, "Everybody's entitled to go to hell in their own way." :)

[qwerty]

Yes, I can relate to that. Although I don't do Christmas as such, I do send out cards, and am happy to receive cards with up-dates on what's been happening during the year. It's the time of year to exchange greetings with friends we've made in various parts of the world, and without Christmas, I suppose we could have lost touch with some of them.

If you give a gift because you want to, that is not without thought. Let's face it, the giving of gifts at Christmas is nothing to do with the religious reason behind Christmas anyway. I hate the commercial side, which is mostly why I don't appreciate Christmas.

I also dislike the pressure this time of year puts on people. Families actually go into debt in order to fund Christmas. Kids have to get presents that equal their friends' presents. People spend the holiday time together even if they don't particularly like each other.

What grieves me most is that, any loss of a loved one during the year, is exacerbated by Christmas.

[Disa]

I can relate. But the "Spirit of Christmas" is a very loving and giving one, so I just go with that. Any time of year that brings out the good in people is ok in my book.

Wait, I don't actually have a book but, well, you know :)

[StephanieFox]

I am astounded at the people who give and get gifts with the spirit of greed. When I tell someone that to me, it really is the thought that counts, that to get a small gift with a lot of love or friendship attached and with some thought behind it is better than an expensive gift card bought 'cause it was easy, well they don't buy it.

I think they don't believe me because they are too caught up in stuff.

This is the darkest time of the year and we can celebrate the returning of the light through religious belief in 'light of the world' Jesus, the lighting of the Hannakkah menorah, Dewaili lights, or the solstice bonfire. That's what's important. And in this dark time, having friends and family close brings light and warmth, too. You are right. It's not about stuff. It's about people coming together.

So, don't worry that you're not feeling jolly-elf, baby-in-manger, Macabee celebrating, or anything else. Just enjoy yourself. Help with the dishes and the clean up and bring some love and you'll be just fine.

[Carole]

I don't care what the season is, if there is a reminder to show someone you care about how you feel by giving them something then it's good by me. Sure, all holidays are commercialized to the point of being sickening, but at least they do serve as reminders to give of yourself to someone else--even if it's an inexpensive card with a meaningful note inside. :)

[Pragmatic_Dreamer]

My family is both religious and contemporary. This means that a fanatically religious person looking at us will think we are pagans making a mockery of their religion, and an atheist will look at us and tack on "religious fanatic" on our forehead. Needless be it to say that my family has a difficult time co-existing with both groups. I think what is important is to be true to your beliefs whatever it may be and not look down upon others who may not share your beliefs. Well, at least that's my opinion.

Cheers!

[vixey]

I've gone from the hyped up commercialized version of Christmas (and I do consider myself to be a devout Christian) to what the heck are we doing? And I've found recently that I'd rather enjoy a great dinner with family and friends than exchange a bunch of meaningless gifts bought in the spirit of 'because I should'. I'd much rather give something to charity, whether it be a monetary donation or my time, than receive or give something.

[Ken]

...giving or doing for charity, at any time of the year, is a very fine thing, Vixey. Your heart has really got to be in the right place for that. If there is a God up above, and a Son to Him, born, I'm sure they look down very kindly on those who do so for others, whether they string up tinsel on the holidays, or not. You have my respect, and a :Hug2: (Better make it a short one, lest my animal nature get the better of me ;-) // Good year, to all above, in keeping with your traditions and beliefs.

[Ol' Fashioned Girl]

We gave up the commercial side of Christmas many years ago. I looked around at all the stuff I was being given (as an aunt with many nieces and nephews) that I didn't want to dust, more candy I didn't need, stuff they couldn't afford - and I called a halt. I told them all - from my sister (the original Santa's Elf, even though she's not religious, either, just loves her some Christmas!) to the smallest gift-giver: do NOT give us anything. Use the money on your own families, or donate it to a charity of your choice. If you can't afford to donate money, donate some time - adopt a shelter animal... give a bag of dog food... just don't give anything to me. And I'll do the same.

It's worked beautifully.