Am I doing it right?

[Rushie]

I have bills to pay, I need to reschedule my neurology appointment, I need to call my dog's vet, and I need to plan dinner. Instead, I planted myself on the front porch with my Neo and wrote until I reached 2000 words and blew all the rest of it off.

I figure, eventually the power company will give me a "courtesy call" and warn me before they cut off the power, and then I'll hurry and pay the bill, I have until 48 hours before my neuro appointment to reschedule it, the dogs can wait another week to see the vet, and I can order pizza for dinner. But I can never get the day back to write my 2000 words and if I wait until the evening when I've done all the other stuff I will be tired and the family will be here interrupting me.

Do I finally "get it?" :D

[scarletpeaches]

Sounds just the ticket!:D

[Bryan M Stephenson]

Neo is rechargeable right?

I figure with a car charger you got a good week before you have to take care of the power bill.

Order 2 extra pizzas, you can write tomorrow too.

Neurologists are wicked smart, take the dogs with you, they can treat them too.

should net you another 10,000 words

[Charlie Horse]

Yes, and you should maintain that attitude daily forever and ever, amen. That's what you call passion.

[James D. Macdonald]

Do I finally "get it?"

No.

Crom's garters, chum! Reality always wins. Take care of the real world first.

[jillianburks]

I'm still a student, but I have seen authors who get lost inside their works. I love my made-up world and I could spend day after day in that world... but I know that while I'm writing, I'm also missing out on other things people my age are doing. I've heard of mothers/fathers working for months on a book and they rarely ever see their children. You've got to make sure your priorities are in the right order and give each thing you love an equal amount of time.

[SarahMacManus]

No.

Crom's garters, chum! Reality always wins. Take care of the real world first.

I dunno - I tried taking care of the real world first and it took me over 14 months to get down a very rough first draft. When I ignored the real world, I got a good first draft down in 6 months.

[Birol]

I think there must be a balance. First, writing is part of the real world.

1) Take care of the neurology appointment. Sounds like you're avoiding it, but you have to take care of your brain. Without it, it's difficult to write.
2) Call the vet. It'll only take a moment and the critters are wholly dependent on you.
3) Bills add to the stress. Pay them. Hard to write without light. Can you write something that will help bring in money to help take care of them?
4) No need to worry too much about dinner. There's food in the house. Writing is work, too, and there's no reason the rest of the family can't help out with what is really a daily chore, including the kids. If they really, really can't, order a pizza, because, hey, you were busy working all day.

[fringle]

I dunno - I tried taking care of the real world first and it took me over 14 months to get down a very rough first draft. When I ignored the real world, I got a good first draft down in 6 months.


So long as your real world includes another person who's willing to keep you afloat, I see no harm in this. If not, well that's another matter.

[scarletpeaches]

Pfft. I prefer the voices in my head to the ones outside it.

[Rushie]

You are ALL right. I am enjoying your responses. :) It occurs to me that I goof off to avoid both real life and writing. My problem isn't that real life prevents me from writing, or that writing takes me from my family... my problem is that I just goof off too much..... :(

[Judg]

Taking care of real life and writing 1500 words would have been a perfectly acceptable balancing of priorities.

[Swordswoman]

Yes, Rushie, I think you do 'get it' - and I remember exactly how it felt the first day it happened to me.

You can't always do it - sometimes the bills really have to be paid, the dogs really need the vet, and your family really deserve a home-cooked dinner - but it's frightening how often we kid ourselves that things 'need to be done' when actually they don't. I had things on my 'to-do' lists like 'hair-cut', and 'sort bedroom drawers', and didn't allow myself to write until those things were done. Errr - WTF? It's as if we see 'writing' as a hobby thing that always has to come last.

Well it isn't and it doesn't, and unless you're writing by numbers then whatever you write tomorrow just won't come out the same way as you'd write it today. Grab that moment.

I have a husband who would be seriously annoyed with me if I'd cooked a big roast but was depressed as hell because I hadn't been able to write when it was 'coming'. Usually I try to schedule so that I'm cooking and doing housework during 'thinking time' not 'writing time', but when it doesn't work that way, it just doesn't work. My husband comes home, I say 'sorry, that knot in chapter 10 just started to unravel, I had to write, can I get a pizza?' and he kisses me and says 'You stay right where you are, I'll get it myself'.

Sudden horrid thought: maybe I'm just a rotten cook...

Louise

[scarletpeaches]

I have no life, which is why I often write 5k+ in a day. :D

Actually scratch that. You want my honest opinion? Fine.

I don't like hearing that real life and writing have to be divided. They don't. Writing is my life, and I like it much better than I would like to have children or various other responsibilities.

I'll never have children but I would like to get married one day. But I would only marry (or live with) a man who gave me space to do my own thing. Of course, I would give him that same respect too. I'm not the sort of woman to live in someone's pocket and I don't like feeling smothered. (And I realise my use of the word 'smothered' says a lot about the men I've met up 'til now).

Writing's too important to me to have anyone or anything completely bleach it out. As important to me as your children are to you, or your job is to you, or your spouse is to you.

It was here first, so takes first place. Don't like it? Well don't ask me out, because that's the way it is.

[Stijn Hommes]

I find my health and that of my loved ones (including pets) more important than writing anyday. So I'd take care of the neuro and vet appointments first. Anything else can wait as long as you schedule them some other time before the deadline runs out.

[Rushie]

These are all such great perspectives. I love reading about how you all see this issue. I goof off so much because this is the first time in my life I've been free TO goof off. I've either worked or been raising kids all my life. I've been wife to my husband, mother to my kids and I guess Goddess to the dogs. Now that the kids are grown the pressure has eased off a lot. So I goof off... but I've decided to make writing my "job", so this is just transition for me. Finally I get to do the job I've always wanted to do, but I guess it will take a little self discipline and organizing to get everything into balance.

[Birol]

No. It takes a whole hell of a lot of self-discipline and organization to get everything to balance and you can't drop your guard for a minute.

[DMarie84]

I have no life, which is why I often write 5k+ in a day. :D

Actually scratch that. You want my honest opinion? Fine.

I don't like hearing that real life and writing have to be divided. They don't. Writing is my life, and I like it much better than I would like to have children or various other responsibilities.

I'll never have children but I would like to get married one day. But I would only marry (or live with) a man who gave me space to do my own thing. Of course, I would give him that same respect too. I'm not the sort of woman to live in someone's pocket and I don't like feeling smothered. (And I realise my use of the word 'smothered' says a lot about the men I've met up 'til now).

Writing's too important to me to have anyone or anything completely bleach it out. As important to me as your children are to you, or your job is to you, or your spouse is to you.

It was here first, so takes first place. Don't like it? Well don't ask me out, because that's the way it is.

Exactly :)

I was incredibly blessed to find my husband--he gives me the space I need to write and will often pick up the slack if the house work is piling up. While I still have to balance things, it's nice to know that there's someone there to back me up.

[The Lonely One]

I think it's best to realize which priorities are excuses and which are vital to having a happy fam.

My priorities lie (lay?) with my wife, my dog and cat, because my moments with them I will never get back. Writing is a priority but if my family suffers I wouldn't think twice to drop it like a bad habit.

Ultimately, my future with the fam is my bliss. Writing, or music, or whatever else is a secondary happiness. My number one goal is to grow with my mate and have a daughter and go to bed every night with someone to hold.

Writing is writing. Not worth letting life pass by. Not worth sacrificing my relationship.

I think there's a happy medium in there, but when family tugs that's what gets my attention.

EDIT: this has no reflection on you or your post, just my perspective on the subject.

[caitysdad]

the family always is the priority. I try to keep my sanity by almost scheduling certain times to write and then take advantage of the unexpected opportunities. Monday nights are my night. I will watch football/baseball/wrestling or some combination or spend the whole night writing. My wife knows Mondays are mine, but she understands and I help her by giving her a night or two to do whatever she wants. Like one night I'll say "I've got the kids tonight you can do whatever. 1/2 an hour later the kids are sleeping, she's playing on-line and I write if I can resist the temptation for Grand Theft Auto IV.

And then I get time on weekends when I can. It's tough, but you have to want it. I want to be paid to make shit up so I make the time. 5 minutes here and there or staying up late. John Grisham was a lawyer with a house full of kids. The only time he had to write was getting up 5 o'clock in the morning. (I tried that, not a good idea)

I usually get three nights, sometimes four. I wish I could every day, but my reaility is that just isn't possible. No point in harping on it because that won't do any good. You just have roll with what you have and make the best of it because anything more will just distract you from your ultimate goal.

[Dirtpoor]

You only have one life, so you should 'do what pops your bubblewrap'.

Consequences should be considered though, such as: loneliness due to loss of spouse; children who don't visit you in the nursing home; those pathetic, soulful eyes of the dog as it lies on the vet table when it has to be put down.

Feeling guilty yet?

[Rushie]

You only have one life, so you should 'do what pops your bubblewrap'.

Consequences should be considered though, such as: loneliness due to loss of spouse; children who don't visit you in the nursing home; those pathetic, soulful eyes of the dog as it lies on the vet table when it has to be put down.

Feeling guilty yet?

Ha ha ha ha, no, it's not as bad as all that. The spouse is a hundred percent behind my writing; he's been trying to get me to do it for a decade. I think he wants me to publish a novel more than I do. The kids are grown and the dogs don't care; they're happy to lie there at my feet. Delaying their checkup one week isn't gonna kill them. Ha ha ha, I'm picturing the soulful eyes as they're being put down and the vet saying, "If only you'd brought them in LAST week... we would have caught it in time..."

[Ken Schneider]

Take care of real world business first.

If you have to get up from bed at 4 a.m. to write for a couple of hours,then do that.

Good luck.

[JJ Cooper]

Real life and writing have to be divided. Just like real life and a job have to be divided. Otherwise, life will pass you by.

JJ

[Birol]

Okay, let's stop referring to writing as a made up activity. That's the undercurrent of the mindset that makes it less of a priority in people's lives, that allows friends and family to dismiss it as something you can do "later." If you're serious about your writing, if you want to be a professional, if it's not a hobby, then it must be treated like a job or a career. It's just like everything else, though, it's only one component of the overall picture. You have to experience the world in order to write for it. It can't be all there is. There must be balance.

[scarletpeaches]

Okay, let's stop referring to writing as a made up activity. That's the undercurrent of the mindset that makes it less of a priority in people's lives, that allows friends and family to dismiss it as something you can do "later." If you're serious about your writing, if you want to be a professional, if it's not a hobby, then it must be treated like a job or a career. It's just like everything else, though, it's only one component of the overall picture. You have to experience the world in order to write for it. It can't be all there is. There must be balance.

Hear hear.

I also object to 'real life' being something apart from writing or any other job. For many people their job, their writing, is real life.

There's nothing about writing that makes it any less worthy of attention and there's nothing honourable in boasting about how much less important writing is than all these other things - on a writers' board.

[witchunter88]

Yes, I think you get it. :D The way an author has to scrounge up every chance they've got to write even with a busy and hectic life.

[Memnon624]

I have a friend whose childhood dream is to write novels -- vast, intricate fantasy novels that require copious worldbuilding, where he can also integrate his very real skill as a cartographer and graphic designer. His work is awesome, and by looking at his sketchpad along with the chapters you get a sense of real, bone-deep passion. But . . .

But he doesn't accord writing the same level of importance as he does the other facets of his life. If time needs be trimmed, then it's the writing time that suffers, not the girlfriend time or work time. As a result, he's written only a handful of chapters and one short story (which won an award, by the way).

When he's dumping on himself for not having his book finished, he will often ask me how I do it. My answer is simple: in my life, I dispensed with everything that isn't writing-related. Some of it wasn't of my choosing, though it worked out for me in the end (by this I mean divorce, getting fired from a long-term career, and losing my house). Because I understand myself, I understand that if offered distractions I will follow them like a raven on the trail of a shiny bauble, I make conscious decisions not to allow things to interfere: I date sparingly, I try to limit my social time to once or twice a week, and I approach writing the same as if it were "just a regular job".

These things work for me; they may not work for anyone else. But, the bottom line is this: if you hope to be successful, then you must treat writing as the full-time job it is and not like a hobby. Remember: a hobby has no importance; it's a distraction meant to pass the time.

Best of luck to you,

Scott

[The Lonely One]

Okay, let's stop referring to writing as a made up activity. That's the undercurrent of the mindset that makes it less of a priority in people's lives, that allows friends and family to dismiss it as something you can do "later." If you're serious about your writing, if you want to be a professional, if it's not a hobby, then it must be treated like a job or a career. It's just like everything else, though, it's only one component of the overall picture. You have to experience the world in order to write for it. It can't be all there is. There must be balance.

I agree about balancing, but I respectfully disagree with other implications of this statement. Maybe I'm off base, or reading something into it that isn't there, but--

There are distractions, and then there are priorities. (I'm not referring to your post, but in general: ) I honestly, unequivocally, with all my heart think a person should not have a family (children, mate) until they're ready to accept that family as the number one priority. Making writing or anything else a priority over human beings who rely on their relationships with you is selfish, childlike and irresponsible.

Sometimes friends and family are willing to give you space for your personal aspirations, but need your love and attention also. In my case, my wife lets me write for hours without saying a word. She works on projects (she's a photog), talks to friends, whatever. But it gets to a point where I make a decision, okay, that's enough. I haven't seen her all day because of work and she works nights often, so it's time to do something together.

I hate the cliche that writing is a job. No it isn't, not to me. It gets difficult, challenging, arduous at times, but all of this is play, not work. I'm creating something that brings me enjoyment, not being productive for the American GDP. I'm not putting down 40 hours of task work for a bi-weekly check. If I was in it for the money wouldn't I be vain (not to mention uninformed)?

I've never once suggested writing is not a priority, but life (not simple distractions, but real, visceral, self-changing life) is THE priority.

Writing is a part of that. It's not made up. It's an actual thing that becomes further actualized in print and online, in if we're lucky money.

I suggest in this case that extremes are unneccessary and that one can prioritize things over writing but also prioritize other things such as excuses under writing, and not be considered any less serious than the writer who lives exclusively for his or her craft.

I also apologize if I've misread something into this that isn't accurate, but whether or not this is the case those are my honest feelin's. No disrespect intended on any level.

and there's nothing honourable in boasting about how much less important writing is than all these other things - on a writers' board.

I think there's great honor in placing importance on some of the things mentioned, such as family and the facets that go into making that system of individuals thrive.

I also think there's great honor in aspiring to write and move people with your words, and a life focused on that aspiration. Certainly no one can argue there isn't.

My main point here is I know exactly which rung writing is on for me, and though it may be lower than others here have it, I don't think I aught be considered any less worthy of writing than the next chap. I carry a pen (two, and a red one) in my pocket like the rest of yous :)

[scarletpeaches]

Just to be contrary, I must too respectfully disagree with The Lonely One. ;)

I never want kids, so the matter is irrelevant in my case, but when it comes to a future husband, would I be prepared to make him my number one priority? Well, no, if that means dropping everything for him. That would feel too...dependent. I hate the thought of relying on someone. I want to be wanted, not needed. But the solution for me would be to marry someone who felt the same, and who didn't drop his job to keep me happy. After all, his job was there first. I should fit around it, not expect him to rearrange his life to accomodate me.

I kinda like the idea of doing my own thing, him doing his, and then we come together for 'us' time when all the other life shit is dealt with. I'd want a relationship to be a thing apart, a sanctuary, rather than an umbrella over all my other life matters.

I compatmentalise and realise not everyone feels the same way I do; I'm not typically romantic and I'm very pragmatic about these things. That's not to say there's no room for romance in my life, of course there is. But writing is what I do, what I am, so if a man (or, hell, a woman) came along who was important to me, of course I would spend time with them, but not at the expense of who I was as a person before they came along.

Way off topic, there, but hey...them's my thoughts. ;)

[DeadlyAccurate]

There's nothing about writing that makes it any less worthy of attention and there's nothing honourable in boasting about how much less important writing is than all these other things - on a writers' board.

But conversely, there's nothing honorable about putting writing ahead of everything else in life. Ignoring your family and your responsibilities to write doesn't prove the writer is a true artist. Treating writing as a job means also taking time away from it to do other things. You need time with family; you need to pay the bills; you need to keep your doctor appointments; you need to go out to dinner, watch a movie, read a book, or play a game.

DA (who plans to spend most of today playing EVE Online and only a small amount of time typing in some of the 15,000 words she wrote last week on a new novel).

[scarletpeaches]

...You need time with family; you need to pay the bills; you need to keep your doctor appointments; you need to go out to dinner, watch a movie, read a book, or play a game.

I don't have a family, paying bills takes minutes and getting a doctor's appointment these days is like finding a needle in a haystack.

But yeah, I hear what you're saying. Movies, reading and so on - I call that research. Indulging in the fruits of others' creativity. Yes, I recharge my batteries in those ways, but...it all pays off when I come to write again.

[ChaosTitan]

I hate the cliche that writing is a job.

I don't understand how calling writing a job is a cliche. I truly don't. For some people, it is a job. For full-time writers/novelists/journalists, it's their bread and butter. It's how they pay their kids' dental bills, put food on the table, and are able to take family vacations to the water park. It's also how some of us pay our rent, put gas in our cars, and heat in the house.

To call writing a job is no more cliche than to call defending a criminal in court a job.

And calling something a job doesn't automatically stop making it fun or enjoyable. I do know some people who truly enjoy their jobs.

Everyone's priority here is going to be different, because we don't all have the same things in our lives (families, for the oft-quoted example). But I do agree with Birol--how can we write about a world we don't experience?

[The Lonely One]

I guess the distinguishing factor here, to me, is what is a distraction (if you were on top of it you'd have payed the damn bills already! Choosing now is a mind trick on yourself), and what is actual priority.

Also, mates are a different issue than kids and the whole white picket fence scenario. Some folks don't want kids and I would never try to imply that's somehow wrong. You can still have any color fence you want.

If you're thinking on a one-on-one level, it's possible to keep your individuality and have a mate, sure, why not? You were separate people before. So long as you both want the same things, it'll work.

And friends, well, they're always the first to take a back seat, right? I don't even answer the phone to my friends unless I know I have time to hang out (and about, if I'm feeling frisky). Just something they have to accept; we're all adults with adult aspirations and responsibilities. I consider my writing an aspiration. I consider my fam both. Once that's all cleared up, friends can have a few minutes to shoot billiards with a Guinness or mess with our cars.

So to be fair, writing does take priority over friends often (I skipped out on drinks last night and a baseball game today to write).

I know a local writer who is a forensic technician for PD. If that isn't a full time job, I don't know what is. Plus she's on subpoena sometimes for weeks at a time to testify on cases she's worked. She's got a husband, too. And she's published several fiction books traditionally.

If anyone was looking for a definition of balance...

[The Lonely One]

I don't understand how calling writing a job is a cliche. I truly don't. For some people, it is a job. For full-time writers/novelists/journalists, it's their bread and butter. It's how they pay their kids' dental bills, put food on the table, and are able to take family vacations to the water park. It's also how some of us pay our rent, put gas in our cars, and heat in the house.

To call writing a job is no more cliche than to call defending a criminal in court a job.

And calling something a job doesn't automatically stop making it fun or enjoyable. I do know some people who truly enjoy their jobs.

Everyone's priority here is going to be different, because we don't all have the same things in our lives (families, for the oft-quoted example). But I do agree with Birol--how can we write about a world we don't experience?

I think maybe it's in the difference of how we perceive the word "job."

I always saw a job as a menial task meant for overall production of some kind. I guess writing could be that, but I would more likely refer to working writers' situations as "successful careers." This is much more than a grunt-work labor position. The implication I get from the overused phrase "writing is a job" is that it's okay for folks not to get enjoyment from their writing and that they should trudge through it even when it becomes like a daily burden. At that point I'd say give it a rest, or at least a break. Even the frustrations of writing should amount to a positive net result. If you have no desire to write, why are you trying to be a writer (the general "you")? There are plenty enough of those out there.

Prioritizing is a burden everyone has, but writing itself, now that's the escape.

To add, I am a working journalist. I have to say I do not plan on doing this for the rest of my life. THIS is a job to me. Fiction would be a successful career.

[Rushie]

I think maybe it's in the difference of how we perceive the word "job."

I always saw a job as a menial task meant for overall production of some kind. I guess writing could be that, but I would more likely refer to working writers' situations as "successful careers." This is much more than a grunt-work labor position. The implication I get from the overused phrase "writing is a job" is that it's okay for folks not to get enjoyment from their writing and that they should trudge through it even when it becomes like a daily burden. At that point I'd say give it a rest, or at least a break. Even the frustrations of writing should amount to a positive net result. If you have no desire to write, why are you trying to be a writer (the general "you")? There are plenty enough of those out there.



This is an important distinction. When I say I am making writing my new "job" I am not implying that it's going to be all drudgery. To me, the word "job" includes fascinating careers. I used to be an engineer - designed piping systems and such. I absolutely loved it. Does that mean I wanted to get up at 6:30 am every day and go into the office, and every moment there was a blast? NO. A lot was drudgery, but overall, I got so much fun and satisfaction from it that it was more than worth it. Watching a system being installed that I designed, and seeing it operate successfully is a tremendous high. However, I needed the discipline of "having" to be at the office at 8:00 every weekday or I wouldn't have done it. That's the biggest challenge with writing - now the discipline needs to come from inside. Like when I was an engineer, at times it is drudgery. Does that mean I don't love it and want it? Of course not. But it does mean that the mmorpg can sure pull me away from it. (EVE online eh?? I'm an ex-World of Warcraft player and I'm looking for a replacement.... just kidding! Another online game would be the death of my writing.)

[Birol]

I hate the cliche that writing is a job. No it isn't, not to me. It gets difficult, challenging, arduous at times, but all of this is play, not work. I'm creating something that brings me enjoyment, not being productive for the American GDP. I'm not putting down 40 hours of task work for a bi-weekly check. If I was in it for the money wouldn't I be vain (not to mention uninformed)?

Then, for you, writing is a hobby. And that's a fine and wonderful thing. And it's good that you know and accept it for what it is for you. However, many people on these boards want to make a living from their words. They want to be able to put bread on the table and a roof of their heads doing nothing but writing. For them, they must treat it as a job and a career, even before they are selling and publishing enough to accomplish those things.

I know plenty of individuals who make a living from writing. Do they make it working on novels? No. Not necessarily. So, in that regard, maybe this thread should be in Roundtable instead of Novels, because it is possible to make a living writing, as long as you're willing to diversify, work on projects other than your own personal ones, and as long as you're disciplined and treat it like the profession you want it to be.

Does that mean de-prioritizing family? Not necessarily. It does mean taking it seriously, even when your family and friends don't or won't.

[Bubastes]

Does that mean de-prioritizing family? Not necessarily. It does mean taking it seriously, even when your family and friends don't or won't.

This bears repeating. It's nice to say "my family comes first" and all, but the sad fact is that they may resent the time you (generic you) spend writing. It would be nice if those we love could support us in our dreams, but it's not always realistic. You're part of the family too, and your desires are just as important as theirs. It took me a long time to figure that out. Yes, I'm a recovering doormat.

Here's a post by Tess Gerritsen on the topic:
http://tessgerritsen.com/blog/2006/07/26/only-another-writer-would-understand/

Sometimes the non-writing spouse simply refuses to accept that his or her spouse was born to create. I’ve heard horror stories. One husband was so resentful of his wife’s writing that he “cleaned up” their house while she was away, and “accidentally” threw out the manuscript she’d labored over for a year. Another husband (of a multi-million-dollar author) never read any of his wife’s books because he thought they’d probably be crap. Spouses can sabotage us in so many ways, with put-downs, ridicule, or repeated interruptions.

[The Lonely One]

Then, for you, writing is a hobby. And that's a fine and wonderful thing. And it's good that you know and accept it for what it is for you. However, many people on these boards want to make a living from their words. They want to be able to put bread on the table and a roof of their heads doing nothing but writing. For them, they must treat it as a job and a career, even before they are selling and publishing enough to accomplish those things.

I know plenty of individuals who make a living from writing. Do they make it working on novels? No. Not necessarily. So, in that regard, maybe this thread should be in Roundtable instead of Novels, because it is possible to make a living writing, as long as you're willing to diversify, work on projects other than your own personal ones, and as long as you're disciplined and treat it like the profession you want it to be.

Does that mean de-prioritizing family? Not necessarily. It does mean taking it seriously, even when your family and friends don't or won't.

I think we're missing each others points, perhaps. No, writing is not a hobby to me. I am attempting to make a career out of it like the rest of us. But my family does take precedence, and I don't see why that makes my writing a hobby. It's a strange distinction, I think.

In my situation, my family would never ask me not to focus on writing, my wife is a creative person and understands me, that's why we work together. I personally choose to spend time with her and better our situation as a priority, and write fiction as a secondary priority. I do hope some day that my fiction can provide for us, but right now it doesn't. So I work a writing job I dislike so I can help provide for her and she does the same for photography. So I should consider my writing less consequential? Less serious? I don't give a flip if my career was saving little children from burning buildings, I'd come home to my wife because that is where I belong. I wouldn't go home to a burning building (I certainly hope, anyways).

That's not to say I don't spend a significant amount of time writing, because I avoid distractions (except, of course, for AW) and recognize things that realistically need doing in a certain time frame. If there's anything journalism has taught me it's time management and scheduling.

I'm not going to do things like laundry that should have been done yesterday or can be done in an hour.

However, if we're dealing with a crisis, big or small, I won't ignore it for writing. I'll just have to find another hour--and I usually do, if not a few.

Not taking writing seriously is not the equivalent of being a responsible caregiver, including to yourself. And I don't think we're disagreeing on this point.

[The Lonely One]

As an addition to the above, after reading my posts I can understand why me saying writing isn't a job could be taken to mean it's a hobby. It's in my confusing wording (what does that say about me as a writer?).

What I meant is, taking into account the earlier distinction I made about job and career:

Writing isn't something I'm forced to do for money, it's something I want to do as an expression, and something I would love as a full-time career.

The mantra has always just read to me like "well if you don't wanna, tough. It's a job, misser!" But writing is the last thing that should take on a negative form of stress. I understand the finer point which to undisciplined writers is, a consistency in scheduling writing time. But if they can't do that, if they can't desire to write at least semi-regularly why are they trying to take on the "writer" tagline? It ain't for money and fame.

But whether or not I make money off of my fiction--which I'd damn sure like, why wouldn't I? You folks understand that better than anyone else--it's a state of play, not a state of work. Even when it becomes tough, it's not a job, I don't think. It's delving into the self and playing with it, then expressing it in a format others can relate to. I'm not working a day to day drudge and stress job to pay the bills (I am but fiction ain't it).

And my point all along has been about prioritizing.

I praise those who can keep a writing life during the years their kids are younger, because they do require a lot of attention.

And as for a mate, I guess it depends on the type of relationship but how about this analogy:

If writing is one of the most important facets in my life, my wife IS my life. That's the distinction for me. We respect each others' arts, but when we need each other we need each other. Nothing worth putting in the way of that.

You folks may see different and that's fine, but I don't see writing as a hobby (which someone earlier distinguished as a way to pass the time, nothing more). I don't think there are just "I'm doing this to put food on my table, so I'm serious" and "this is a hobby, like stamp collecting." There's always a middle-ground. Oddly that's usually the place I hang around.

Just one guy's perspective.

[jerry phoenix]

?

[sticklefidds]

Dealing with the real world meant it took me 16 years to finish my novel. But it turned out better that way.

[loiterer]

Interesting thread.

I say only this: your writing is as worthy a recipient of your time, love and devotion as any person, for your writing is a part of you.

And it won't leave you if you truly don't want it to.