How Do You Handle The Sex?

[caitysdad]

Forgive me if this belongs in Erotica, but I don't think so because it's not an erotica book question. My novel is mostly college kids, so guess what? Sex is involved. Actually, quite a bit when I think about it.

So the question is how graphic do you get? How much detail do you supply? I used to think that I needed to supply a great deal, but to me it just all sounded like porn, so I was deleting more and more until it was all gone. What I found that worked much better for was just having characters talk about it. And it worked for me as a two-fold advantage. One, what I wrote didn't sound like porn. Two, the conversation feeds the reader's imagination, which is better than anything I could ever come up with.

So how does everyone else handle it?

[scarletpeaches]

I surrendered to my inner pervert and now get as graphic as my characters want to. So what I write now is definitely erotica but that's not all my book is. But yeah. There's swearing, crude words for intimate body parts, definitely no closing of the bedroom door. (Or living room, or hall, or you name it...);)

One thing that works for me is letting the characters talk, keeping the narrator's voice out of it, otherwise it sounds a bit textbook, a bit clinical, a bit telling-not-showing. So my characters talk during sex so it's not me telling the reader, "They're enjoying this." The reader knows because the characters are expressing themselves.

[witchunter88]

Well erotica is very graphic and explicit. You can almost see, taste and feel what's going on. But I dont think that's the direction you wanted to head.

Is this book a romance? In romance the sex scenes are less graphic than erotica but still detailed. If this isn't a romance, then I would think of making the sex scenes short and more focused on what's happening mentally than physically. Ultimately you should be able to tell if the sex is appropriate in context with the rest of the book.

[Gillhoughly]

Write the sex in any way that's most comfortable to YOU.

Anything else and the reader will pick up on your discomfort.

I've read many books where the writer was clearly not at all happy writing a love scene, and the book would have been better off without it.

I've done a book without any love scene at all and in a series where such a scene is usually part of the story. In that case the MC was in a bad emotional place and sex would have been inappropriate. I still addressed the issue, though, where the MC had to tell the partner, "I'm just not ready yet."

YOU be comfortable with YOU. Never do such a scene just because you think it's expected.

One of my writer friends tried, and the scene was a miserable failure of writing.

[ChaosTitan]

Ditto everything Gillhoughly said. :D

I've written graphic, multi-page sex scenes. I've also written paragraph-long, emotion-laden and mechanics-missing sex scenes. I'm pretty comfortable with the former, but there can be just as much power in the latter. And depending on my MC/narrator, the long sex scene isn't always appropriate for a character (the opposite also being true, in that the narrator would go into great detail).

It really depends on what you want to accomplish with the sex. Is it important that we see the play-by-play, or are the after-effects the real issue?

[NeuroFizz]

First of all, sex is kind of like violence in fiction. Both should advance the story--neither should be in any way gratuitous.

When writing a murder scene, is it better to write the grisly details or write what is going in the mind of the murderer, the victim, or a witness (both can be done, but both are not always necessary)? The first is sometimes called for when the writer wants the reader to be put on edge, but it can get out of hand and lose its effectiveness. The latter can provide a great deal of characterization since it will show how the murderer/victim/witness reacts to extremely intense situations.

When writing a sex scene, is it better to write the slippery details or write what is going on in the mind of the POV participant? Writing the mechanics is done in erotica, but it can get tedious and lend itself to almost comical description. Writing what's going on in the mind of the POV character can provide a great deal of characterization since sex can be one of the most intense experiences a person can have.

Some people like to jump from the kiss to the cigarette, and that can be one way too handle it. But that passes on a wonderful chance for developing a character since how he/she approaches and reacts to that kind of intimacy can reveal some significant depth of that character.

I'll agree with Gil, though. Going well beyond one's comfort level in writing any kind of extremely emotional scene can be telegraphed to the reader in either tentative writing or in overdoing it, making it clumsy and overwrought.

[Rushie]

I think it depends on the kind of novel and the characters. I think I could write a completely clean inspirational romance about Christian kids who are abstaining until marriage, AND I could write a graphic erotic novel. I should probably use different pen names though...

[Topaz044]

Depends which market I'm sending it to. :)

[Red_Dahlia]

I haven't had to handle sex yet.

The first novel I wrote was aimed at younger YA readers (think 12-14), so I didn't want my characters having sex at that point.

In my current WIP (adult this time), I thought for sure that my two main characters would be hopping into the sack around midbook. To my great surprise, when I got there, they both informed me that they didn't know each other well enough yet. My characters are prudes and I didn't even realize it! At the moment, it looks like they aren't even going to have sex by the end of the book.

[BlueLucario]

So how does everyone else handle it?
No condom, no sex!

[RedScylla]

Although I agree with Gilhoughly on adhering to your comfort level, my main guideline is "what's the narrator/character's comfort level?"

Because I've got a book in which the sex is just hinted at, because my POV character is a church secretary. No way would she be comfortable divulging anything graphic. It's romantically alluded to.

In the book I'm querying now, the narrator is a young man on death row. His approach to sex is about as crude and graphic as Penthouse letters. Not at all romantic, even when he's with a girl he loves.

[C.M.C.]

I had it happen during the scene break. Cheating, but effective.

[BlueLucario]

I have heard of a sex scene that said "It all faded in black." just when the author got uncomfortable.

[suki]

I agree with Redzilla. As in voice everywhere else in the book, the description of the sex has to be in voice. So if your character would talk or write about it, then it seems appropriate to describe it.

For example, my 1st person MC is a teenage boy, so there are a fair number of scenes that include masturbation. But I never actually describe the act, because he's not the kind of kid who would. I always give the first step in - ie, dropping trou to go for the landspeed record, but then I jump to after.

And when he finally makes out with the girl he's been lusting after all book, I describe the overwhelming sensations of it, not really all the mechanics.

So...I think whatever the level of the description, it has to fit the voice and feel of the book. How would the character describe the sex to a close friend? sibling? Those might be guidelines...or maybe how he or she might write about it in a journal - what level of detail?

I think Gillhoughly also had some great advice, in that if you are uncomfortable with it, it will come through in the scene.

But, overall, I think the sex, like everything else, needs to be in the voice of the novel.

good luck.

~suki

[SarahMacManus]

I'm worthless when it comes to writing sex, so I don't. I write UP to the sex, I write AFTER the sex, I write all about the flirting and feelings UP to that point and afterwards, but my characters shut the door firmly and fairly in my face. I'm okay with that. I can't write sex because it sounds dumb, not because I'm uncomfortable with it.

You should write what you're comfortable writing, because it will WORK better for both you and the readers. They can tell if you feel awkward about it.

[The Lonely One]

Well think about what purpose the specific sex scene serves to forward momentum. Does it further the plot? Place a child inside one of the characters? Place the seed of doubt in an unfaithful husband or wife? Both? Or is it just sex? Is your MC a sex addict? Does it alter a relationship between characters (trick question; it always, always does)? Does the voice, tone, moments of focus serve your story?

I usually skim, not over the graphic stuff, but over the stuff that belongs in erotica and not in my non-erotic stories. Like, I don't need beads of glistening sweat on anybody's abs, or supple brea...you get the idea. The sex will be what shows character, to me.

I had one story where a banker from Massachusetts studied poetry in Lyon (while in college, prior to his banking job), and meets a French heroin addict who through their brief, sexual relationship teaches him about social freedom. Their kissing is real, not some mushy-mush movie kissing. Sloppy, drunken, mashing lips, taste of cigarettes and wine and whatever they ate for dinner, their sex was rough and, while not entirely emotionless, not the kind you'd see in a romance either.

The worst thing I think you can do is be forgiving and merciful in a sex scene. You can't back out. You can't get all cute and fuzzy and avoid saying what it is that's happening. Your job is to show us, so if you've decided it's important, then do it right, IMO.

I can see dialog as one way of going about it, certainly.

[kikilynn]

Here's how it is for me. If I find a book I really love, and while reading find a sex scene, I skip over it. I can write erotica just fine, I just can't read it. For some reason I feel it's an invasion of the writers privacy or something, I dunno. My sister thrives on erotic novels. She expects sex to be as wonderful as people write it to be, which is why she's constantly in a new relationship.

[socact]

I like writing sex scenes, because I think it's one of my strengths as a writer (I'm not too proud of this - somehow this is just how it worked out), but I agree that it's a very private thing for a writer. It's why I never share my work with anyone I know (I did once, and it was awkward...ugh).

I write romances, but not erotica. I think there's a big difference. I try to make my sex scenes classy, but not too detailed. I definitely don't fade to black, either. But then again, for a romance, I think it's okay and even expected to include sex scenes. Am I right about this? I don't know.

I could name a few books that have sex scenes in it, but aren't too graphic. A recent one I read was "The Reader," which seemed appropriate for the voice and its genre. "The Time Traveler's Wife" also has some sex scenes scattered throughout, although it's never too graphic. I guess I use these books, and others like them, as a guide.

[Cyia]

If you're uncomfortable with graphic sex, then focus on mood and sensuality rather than descriptions of the act.

[scarletpeaches]

I like writing sex scenes, because I think it's one of my strengths as a writer (I'm not too proud of this - somehow this is just how it worked out), but I agree that it's a very private thing for a writer. It's why I never share my work with anyone I know (I did once, and it was awkward...ugh).

I write romances, but not erotica. I think there's a big difference. I try to make my sex scenes classy, but not too detailed. I definitely don't fade to black, either. But then again, for a romance, I think it's okay and even expected to include sex scenes. Am I right about this? I don't know.

I could name a few books that have sex scenes in it, but aren't too graphic. A recent one I read was "The Reader," which seemed appropriate for the voice and its genre. "The Time Traveler's Wife" also has some sex scenes scattered throughout, although it's never too graphic. I guess I use these books, and others like them, as a guide.

You should be. Sex is one of the hardest (*snerk*) things to write.

Good sex? Even harder. (*snerk* again).

[witchunter88]

I write romances, but not erotica. I think there's a big difference. I try to make my sex scenes classy, but not too detailed. I definitely don't fade to black, either. But then again, for a romance, I think it's okay and even expected to include sex scenes. Am I right about this? I don't know.
.

Hardcore erotica is very different from your typical romance novel. But i've read some romance novels bordering on Erotica.

And about romance having sex scenes. I tested this out by going to Wal-Mart, picking up a random romance book, and flipping to the middle. %90 of the time there was a scene with the protagonist having sex with someone.

[Maryn]

I'm with scarlet on this. Writing sex well is damned difficult, and doing it should be a source of pride rather than shame.

Everybody "bops," after all, alone or with others. Some just lie about it. There's nothing at all wrong with writing about it to advance your plot, illuminate your characters, or titillate your readers.

Maryn, who tries hard to do all three at once (you ought to see her juggle!)

[socact]

Hey guys, thanks for the insights. I guess it can be a good thing to be able to write decent sex scenes, since they tend to be fairly important when they come up. I'm not even sure what makes a great sex scene, but based on all the women that keep requesting certain sections of my manuscript, I must be doing something right.

I never understood what erotica was, so thanks also for the info on that. I should check out some other romance subgenres to get a feel for the content, etc.

[seun]

So how does everyone else handle it?

With rubber gloves.

[Dark Angel]

I think it depends on the kind of novel and the characters. I think I could write a completely clean inspirational romance about Christian kids who are abstaining until marriage, AND I could write a graphic erotic novel. I should probably use different pen names though...

Hey Rushie, your username gives a bit of a clue about the kind of sex scenes you will write.

(Only joking...and for thos who didn't get the joke pass on to the next post!)

[Birol]

You guys aren't about to devolve this thread into juvenile humor, are you?

[Rushie]

Hey Rushie, your username gives a bit of a clue about the kind of sex scenes you will write.

(Only joking...and for thos who didn't get the joke pass on to the next post!)

Ha ha ha ha, never thought about it that way.

[windyrdg]

Humor, joy and laughter. Good sex is fun and makes people happy. Somehow this has got to come out in the interplay between your characters. Specificity isn't as important as attitude. And, like Scarlett said, keep the lights on and let your characters talk.

Sample from one of my books:
They cuddled and play wrestled in the bed, laughing and hugging. She rolled on top, pinning him down, and watched his face soften with pleasure when she slid over his hips.
Putting her mouth close to his ear, she whispered, “Now I gotcha where I want ya.”

[jy'lenn]

It depends on the novel. I've co-written (my co-writer is also my fiance... makes it A LOT of fun!!!) two erotica novels (not yet published and still needing editing...) as well as softer novels, including novels that have plenty of innuendos and hints, but don't go into details. (complete with the obvious statements of removing the clothes and looking hungrily at each other...)

Noooo, not all the novels include it and it's always between life-long partners.... even if they aren't married at the time ;)

either way, it still comes down to if you want it to be erotica or romance or general info type stuff. Either go into detail or brush over it. either way, it's fun to write... hehehehehe

[SPMiller]

Although I'm not great at sex scenes, I'm comfortable with them and include them whenever they're relevant to the story, which is surprisingly often. I omit them when they're irrelevant.

[ElsaM]

I don't mind reading sex scenes (even the gratuitous ones) but I can't write them. I'm jealous of people who can.

[witchunter88]

I don't mind reading sex scenes (even the gratuitous ones) but I can't write them. I'm jealous of people who can.

You have to be an imaginative pervert. ;)

[Matera the Mad]

My MC, at an age when most young men in his culture have a fair amount of experience, was a virgin because of unusual circumstances. Part of his return to normal life was getting laid. I kept it short but fun. Sex as plot and character building just has to be done sometimes. Long ago I noted that some of the most effective sex scenes were those that happened offstage, leaving everything to the reader's imagination. Prolonged detail can so ruin the mood. :(

[ElsaM]

You have to be an imaginative pervert. ;)

An uninhibited imaginative pervert at that.

[ccv707]

Some people--editors and such--will tell you to avoid explicit descriptions of things such as violence and sex. However, if your story warrants such things, to get a certain message across for instance, don't shy away from it.

My books contain a number of sex scenes, a couple rather explicit ones and others that are relatively tame. The nature of these scenes changes with the circumstances, obviously, so the level of explicitness is dependent on a number of factors. One of them dealt with the two characters breaking free of certain emotional shackles and coming to understand their interconnectedness, so I opt for a more emotional description, while another one is centered around a character who uses sex as a weapon against a political rival, and thus the scene is very physical, very violent.

If you want to write a serious story, it would be wise not to put sexual content in that is without merit. Sex, violence, foul language, adjectives...putting in ANYTHING for the sake of putting it into the story is excess fat and should not be there.

[Stijn Hommes]

I never really wrote anything that needed a sex scene, so I haven't. Either my characters were too young, or the MC was a detective too caught up in a manhunt for a serial killer/thief/kidnapper, etc. Maybe it's because I'm not comfortable writing it...

[StandJustSo]

I write sexual situations and scenes that are appropriate to the scenario in the story, almost always from the main characters' point of view. It can be graphic or just suggestive, there can be implied threat or desperation or heartbreaking tenderness, and so on. I don't write what I would call erotica, it's just something I haven't read with any regularity, although my sister has hundreds of books of that genre, lol.

I tend to write more about the sensuality of it, the emotional aspects, or the underlying reason for the sex. Here is part of a scene I wrote some time ago as an example, where the main character finally understands why his love interest accuses him of being sexualy aggressive:

Something made him turn his head just before the orgasm hit, glazed eyes falling on his reflection in the wall mirror at the end of the hall. He didn’t recognize himself with his impassioned eyes and open mouth, hair falling over his forehead in mussed disarray. There was no tenderness, no love in his expression; nothing there that spoke of cherishing the woman he was taking.


I'm not uncomfortable writing sex scenes or having people read them, but I'm always agonizing over whether I'm 'getting it right.'

[SouthernFriedJulie]

I'm weirded out by the sex. In writing we worry about sounding stupid, but if we wrote the scenes like most real sex happens I doubt any of us would ever get published. God, I've heard some stupid things said. Real sex is sometimes worse than low grade porn!

Glad this thread came up because I'll need it eventually, already dreading the part(s) I'll need to write. Or avoid. It would be different if I didn't know that eventually my mother will be holding the novel in her room. The one in the nursing home.

ARRGH!

[ccv707]

Why, may I ask, does writing sex weird you out?

[scarletpeaches]

I'm weirded out by the sex. In writing we worry about sounding stupid, but if we wrote the scenes like most real sex happens I doubt any of us would ever get published. God, I've heard some stupid things said. Real sex is sometimes worse than low grade porn!

Glad this thread came up because I'll need it eventually, already dreading the part(s) I'll need to write. Or avoid. It would be different if I didn't know that eventually my mother will be holding the novel in her room. The one in the nursing home.

ARRGH!

I don't know what you've been doing but I don't see anything in sex that makes it unpublishable, even if I did write it exactly as it happens.

Of course I simulate (as well as stimulate hurr hurr) and it's not lifted straight from my non-existent love life.

Even if stupid things are said, so what? Surely that lends it veracity.

As for the 'mother reading this' thing; I see no problem. Of course, I would say that because I hate my whore of a mother and would gladly see her run over by a bus full of serial killers, but if people you know read it, so what? If they're stupid enough to think that's what you do in the bedroom, so be it. Story trumps all. Even the writer's own embarrassment.

[Calliopenjo]

Personally, I only include a sex scene if it fits the story. I don't include one "Just Because" or write PWP stories. As for the writing sex scenes, I write as much as I can without it sounding animalistic or describing too much so it leaves nothing to the imagination of the reader. To me, it also depends on is it a sex scene or is it a time that they both feel is right and want to more than physically connect.

[SarahMacManus]

I don't know what you've been doing but I don't see anything in sex that makes it unpublishable, even if I did write it exactly as it happens.

Of course I simulate (as well as stimulate hurr hurr) and it's not lifted straight from my non-existent love life.

Even if stupid things are said, so what? Surely that lends it veracity.

As for the 'mother reading this' thing; I see no problem. Of course, I would say that because I hate my whore of a mother and would gladly see her run over by a bus full of serial killers, but if people you know read it, so what? If they're stupid enough to think that's what you do in the bedroom, so be it. Story trumps all. Even the writer's own embarrassment.

Some folks just can't write sex. God knows I've had many years of exotic adventures *cough*cough* but the part of my brain that controls language becomes completely disconnected when it comes to the erotic. All the tools at my disposal for describing passion and love and fascination and nobler sentiments; they're all there. As soon as it become tactile, my brain disconnects, and I sound like a 4th grader. That's probably for the best. Must be some survival mechanism, because I tend to overanalyze the rest of the time and become quite pendantic, so I suppose the verbal part of my brain shutting down during sex was necessary for me to actually breed and continue my DNA. Just because you use the whole chicken doesn't mean you know how to explain it.

That being said, it's ironic; I've known virgins that wrote more realistic sex scenes than I can. *sigh*

I can't write battle-scenes either, for completely different reasons.

[NeuroFizz]

One doesn't have to say a single word about the mechanics of sex to write an extremely intense love (sex) scene. One really never has to leave the brain and sensory systems of the POV character (the northern brain, I mean, not the southern one).

And one doesn't have to be that experienced, either. We don't seem to have trouble writing dramatic (and sometimes graphic) murders--and with the exception of Wayne, haskins, and possibly Rolling Thunder and some of our animal friends... ...never mind.

[The Lonely One]

One doesn't have to say a single word about the mechanics of sex to write an extremely intense love (sex) scene. One really never has to leave the brain and sensory systems of the POV character (the northern brain, I mean, not the southern one).

And one doesn't have to be that experienced, either. We don't seem to have trouble writing dramatic (and sometimes graphic) murders--and with the exception of Wayne, haskins, and possibly Rolling Thunder and some of our animal friends... ...never mind.

Yes. To me, I wouldn't write an action scene clinically so why write a sex scene that way? It's not about the freaking body parts its about the characters, and they're the same characters they were a page ago.

[Ardellis]

The real trick about sex scenes, IMHO, is to try and step back from the emotionally-charged stuff in your own head about OMG-I'm-writing-a-sex-scene. It's a scene, like any other. Put in the details that the story and/or the character development need. Leave out the things that neither advance nor illuminate. Filter it through what is acceptable for the genre you're writing, sure, but more importantly keep the narrator's voice in sync with the rest of the story -- especially if you're writing first person or close third.

[misa101]

I have thought about writing sex as it often happens in real life but laughed too had to continue after my male MC leaned on her hair ripping it from her head and then my female MC busted out laughing at the farting sounds their bodies made. All I needed was for her to yell "ouch wrong hole" to make it complete.

May try it again some day if I ever write something where it serves the plot. If nothing else it will be entertaining.

[SouthernFriedJulie]

Why, may I ask, does writing sex weird you out?

I dunno.

I don't know what you've been doing but I don't see anything in sex that makes it unpublishable, even if I did write it exactly as it happens.

Of course I simulate (as well as stimulate hurr hurr) and it's not lifted straight from my non-existent love life.

Even if stupid things are said, so what? Surely that lends it veracity.

As for the 'mother reading this' thing; I see no problem. Of course, I would say that because I hate my whore of a mother and would gladly see her run over by a bus full of serial killers, but if people you know read it, so what? If they're stupid enough to think that's what you do in the bedroom, so be it. Story trumps all. Even the writer's own embarrassment.

I know, seriously I do. (story trumps all) As for what I've been doing, heh. That's a seeeecret.

Seriously, thanks for reminding me that the story is what matters.

Some folks just can't write sex. God knows I've had many years of exotic adventures *cough*cough* but the part of my brain that controls language becomes completely disconnected when it comes to the erotic. All the tools at my disposal for describing passion and love and fascination and nobler sentiments; they're all there. As soon as it become tactile, my brain disconnects, and I sound like a 4th grader. That's probably for the best. Must be some survival mechanism, because I tend to overanalyze the rest of the time and become quite pendantic, so I suppose the verbal part of my brain shutting down during sex was necessary for me to actually breed and continue my DNA. Just because you use the whole chicken doesn't mean you know how to explain it.

That being said, it's ironic; I've known virgins that wrote more realistic sex scenes than I can. *sigh*

I can't write battle-scenes either, for completely different reasons.
Yes, you've hit the nail on the head. I can and have written reviews of 'toys' and other sexually explicit things. Not so sure I could write something believable, though, when it comes to a love scene.

[caitysdad]

maybe it was me, but every time I wrote a sex scene I would go back and read it later and all i could think was "PORN!" I wanted to be sexy, but I thought it was, that it was just graditous and should have started "Dear Penthouse..."

[DeleyanLee]

A sex scene is just a scene where the action is sexual. It still needs conflict, tension, drama, to move the story and the characters along. It has to hold the reader's interest. It has to change the dynamics of at least one, if not all, the characters involved.

Just like any other scene.

So I write it, just like any other scene. The tone may be sexual, evocative, dangerous, playful or whatever the story calls for. Sometimes it'll be graphic or reflective or angsting or whatever it needs to be to fit the character and the story.

I write them at lunch at work. I wrote them at home when my kids were small. I've handed books with graphic sex scenes to my (adult) daughter, mother and grandmother. I've had people read them over my shoulder as I wrote and judged how well they were received by the rising color in their faces.

My only real problem with writing sex scenes is the repeat act in the same novel. The emotion is easy to be new on, but finding new words for the plumbing and motions can get really tedious.

[ChaosTitan]

My only real problem with writing sex scenes is the repeat act in the same novel. The emotion is easy to be new on, but finding new words for the plumbing and motions can get really tedious.

Then be sparse with the plumbing and motions. One of the best sex scenes I've read recently (and by a non-pubbed author, no less) was very heavy on the emotions and conversation between the characters, with very little in the way of mechanics. You could tell what they were doing, but the scene wasn't about how they had sex, it was about what they experienced together during it.

Does that make sense? :)

[DeleyanLee]

Then be sparse with the plumbing and motions. One of the best sex scenes I've read recently (and by a non-pubbed author, no less) was very heavy on the emotions and conversation between the characters, with very little in the way of mechanics. You could tell what they were doing, but the scene wasn't about how they had sex, it was about what they experienced together during it.

Does that make sense? :)

Totally, and it's what I strive for. But there are some times.... *sigh*

[Melenka]

A sex scene is just a scene where the action is sexual. It still needs conflict, tension, drama, to move the story and the characters along. It has to hold the reader's interest. It has to change the dynamics of at least one, if not all, the characters involved.

Just like any other scene.

So I write it, just like any other scene. The tone may be sexual, evocative, dangerous, playful or whatever the story calls for. Sometimes it'll be graphic or reflective or angsting or whatever it needs to be to fit the character and the story.

I write them at lunch at work. I wrote them at home when my kids were small. I've handed books with graphic sex scenes to my (adult) daughter, mother and grandmother. I've had people read them over my shoulder as I wrote and judged how well they were received by the rising color in their faces.

My only real problem with writing sex scenes is the repeat act in the same novel. The emotion is easy to be new on, but finding new words for the plumbing and motions can get really tedious.

Yes, this. I do write sex scenes, but there has to be a reason two people are ending up in bed together. No reason, no sex scene.

The pitfall of repetitive description can happen in all sort of scenes. My characters argue a lot. There are sword fights and jousts. I run into the same problem with finding new ways to describe what happens in those as what happens in a sex scene - - but that may be because my sex scenes vary as much as my fight scenes do.