The Nigerian Letter (logline & screenplay)

[PoMoTy]

Hello fellow writers,

I thought I would put my script out there for some feedback from anyone who cares to give it.

"The Nigerian Letter"

A woman gets conned into believing she is the heir to a French Baron's fortune and gets her life and identity stolen; but gets it back with the help of her unsung hero.

See: http://www.nigerianletter.com

Love to hear your thoughts!

[dpaterso]

Risky title, what with this fraud scam being famous across the internet. What I mean is, anyone searching for your film is going to find a whole bunch of fraud warning articles. I appreciate the title forms part of the theme, but still...

Just my opinion, your logline could do with the tiniest sprinkling of more info. What woman, where? Who and what is her unsung hero? A couple more words could help paint the picture.

Anyways, the script's already written and you've already received pro coverage. Are you really looking for feedback or is this just part of an ad campaign? Do tell.

-Derek

[scriptwriter74]

i would change it, otherwise sound premise

[PoMoTy]

I am thinking about a new title but don't know where to begin. I feel like I am too stuck on the title I have always had.

The script is ready to go, I am just trying to figure out the best way to market and pitch.

Thanks!

[PoMoTy]

What about:

"Love Conquers Fraud" as the title? Does that sound like a title?

[icerose]

I say don't worry about the title, query away.

[killbox]

Couldn't find the one I was looking for, but I think multiple Nigerian scam scripts have gone wide in the past year or so.

Paramount pictures is working on a movie called "Freshman Roommates" with this logline:

"A young man, during a drunken stupor, answers one of those emails purporting to be sent by a Nigerian prince looking for help in accessing his fortune. Soon thereafter, the spoiled son of a deposed African dictator shows up at his door, looking to secure his inheritance."

I know this is different than yours, but was just pointing out your key plot point of Nigerian Scam has already been going around Hwood recently.

[WMcQuaig]

in regards to the name, I like "The Nigerian Letter" far more than "Love conquers Fraud". To be honest, that just sounds dumb.

I just went to the site and read a little about it. I take back what I said about "Love conquers Fraud" being dumb. I think it works but namely as a, I guess the term is, surtitle. It works and gets the idea across but don't think it makes for a good title of a movie. That's just me though.

Sounds like an interesting premise though.

[PoMoTy]

...I know this is different than yours, but was just pointing out your key plot point of Nigerian Scam has already been going around Hwood recently.

For the record I registered the first draft of 'The Nigerian Letter" in 2007. Long before it was even a common term heard on TV.

My script was covered by an SNL writer, two months later Anne Hathaway did her 'Nigerian Prince' monologue. Coincidence...

I am proud to say I had the first 'Nigerian Letter' script going around, I just wished I could copy write the 'Nigerian Letter' concept.

You have to put your stuff out there, and in doing so you risk it getting immitated (I'm flattered : ). I think my script and my concept is solid though so...

I guess I'll keep writing.

[icerose]

No offense, but I highly doubt anyone immitated your script. It's not that it isn't good (I have no idea I haven't read it) it's just that there are millions of writers out there, the chance of them stumbling across the same concept is extremely high, especially with the notoriety of the nigerian scams. I get at least 3 a day in my inbox.

[Melville]

Actually the "Nigerian Letter", as a scam, first appeared in the late 90's and then had a resurgence in late 2002. It surges periodically but it's been on the FBI scam list for more than a decade. When it was at its peak in 2003, a well-known Improv comedy group in LA had an award-winning sketch with just that title. The Nigerian Letter has long been fodder for those who write comedy. There's been a lot of takes on this concept so don't fret, no one's has been stealing your original idea since it's not your original idea. It's pretty much a well-used (overused?) public domain concept.

[Lavern08]

Hello fellow writers,

I thought I would put my script out there for some feedback from anyone who cares to give it.



...A woman gets conned into believing she is the heir to a French Baron's fortune and gets her life and identity stolen; but gets it back with the help of her unsung hero...


Love to hear your thoughts!

Sounds interestng - This has Anne Hathaway (romantic comedy) written all over it.

Because of the *French Baron* thingy, I'd call it: "French Toast" ;)

[killbox]

For the record I registered the first draft of 'The Nigerian Letter" in 2007. Long before it was even a common term heard on TV.

My script was covered by an SNL writer, two months later Anne Hathaway did her 'Nigerian Prince' monologue. Coincidence...

I am proud to say I had the first 'Nigerian Letter' script going around, I just wished I could copy write the 'Nigerian Letter' concept.

You have to put your stuff out there, and in doing so you risk it getting immitated (I'm flattered : ). I think my script and my concept is solid though so...

I guess I'll keep writing.

Definitely no offense, but I don't think you were the first in 2007 and I don't think anyone immitated it either as icerose already pointed out.

Also know that my earlier post regarding other Nigerian scripts and films WAS NOT saying I think you should drop it. By all means, query it. I would. I was simply making the observation that I know for a fact Nigerian scam concepts have been going wide for awhile now.

[Team 2012]

Obviously the title is the strong point of this whole project.

Nobody is going to be "searching for" an unknown script or screenplay. Nobody is going to get the two confused.

Identifying a catch phrase like this is a very good asset.

Hard to see what "querying it" would accomplish and it really doesn't matter if the name has been used for anything else.

Good title. Your job is coming up with a script that can deliver it. (Don't be the 2012 film dudes, in other words)

[mario_c]

Definitely no offense, but I don't think you were the first in 2007 and I don't think anyone immitated it either as icerose already pointed out.
Technically, you could go back to The Spanish Prisoner - based on the pre-eMail version of the scam, written by the great David Mamet. But it's a subject ripe for comedy (http://www.leasticoulddo.com/comic/20090225) or feminine heroism, depending on your bent.

Good luck with it, sounds like a catchy story.

[PoMoTy]

So the title is good?

Would it make you curious and wanna go see the movie?

I don't know if anyone has 'imitated' my script, but I do know there was nothing like it circulating at the time I wrote it (early 2007). I worked in a major agency at the time and was privy to the lists of what was going around. Nothing remotely similar.

I think people are doing there own version of the 'Nigerian Letter' concept because it's a good one. Identity theft is such a great theme for a romantic comedy and there is certainly no film that is like my script, I think it's pretty original. Commercial, market ready, four quadrant...

Creative Execs are you listening: The price is negotiable!

My dream casting would be Kate Winslet (NY Pschyciatrist, life falls appart) and the Protag and Marion Cotillard (French Mob connected Feme Fatal) as the Villain. Did somebody say Oscar...

I could totally see Anne Hathaway as well. I think the characters offer a lot of flexability in casting.

I envisioned Ralph Fines as the man who cons her but its wide open. For the 'unsung hero' a Kevin James type, just not Jack Black.

Everybody can relate to the themes, and everyone now knows what a 'Nigerian Letter' is today. I think it would make a ton of money. I told CAA but I haven't heard back yet...

Write on

[PoMoTy]

The script is really good by the way. Everyone that has read it has really enjoyed it.

If you want a to see a copy you can contact me at the script site:

http://www.nigerianletter.com

[PoMoTy]

Couldn't find the one I was looking for, but I think multiple Nigerian scam scripts have gone wide in the past year or so.

Paramount pictures is working on a movie called "Freshman Roommates" with this logline:

"A young man, during a drunken stupor, answers one of those emails purporting to be sent by a Nigerian prince looking for help in accessing his fortune. Soon thereafter, the spoiled son of a deposed African dictator shows up at his door, looking to secure his inheritance."

I know this is different than yours, but was just pointing out your key plot point of Nigerian Scam has already been going around Hwood recently.

I found the Variety article on this:

http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117997500.html?categoryid=13&cs=1

I discover that the Exec Producer is Dave Becky of 3 Arts Entertainment

The project was announced in Dec of 2008 and I sent him a query for my script in Aug of 2008!

Also an SNL writer covered my script and another SNL writer wrote there script.

"Freshman Roommates" is vastly different to my Script in story and concept, but what is unfortunate for me is that this project greatly dillutes and even cheapens my concept/theme. Right?

Now I think I really should change my title so it doesn't get confused with this type of story.

[Team 2012]

Hate to tell you, but that sounds like a much better script. It's the sort of thing that flashesthrough the mind as soon at first glance at the title of this thread. Yours sounds like a typical rom-com with a cute title that could be changed to something else if you had another title idea. "PayPal Spoof" "ID O.D." etc.

But there's no need to change your title just because somebody else used the Nigerian scam.

[Pilote]

There is a movie called The Brothers Bloom which has a similar premise and has a very high pedigree with extremely well known actors like Adrian Brody, Rachel Weisz,Mark Ruffalo and directed by a promising director Rian Johnson. It tanked at the box office and yet it had pretty good reviews overall. This is not to discourage you but it may be that this sort of "caperish" type movie hasn't got much appeal lately or maybe it's just extremely poor marketing. In any case I would definitely change the title.

[PoMoTy]

There is a movie called The Brothers Bloom which has a similar premise and has a very high pedigree with extremely well known actors like Adrian Brody, Rachel Weisz,Mark Ruffalo and directed by a promising director Rian Johnson. It tanked at the box office and yet it had pretty good reviews overall. This is not to discourage you but it may be that this sort of "caperish" type movie hasn't got much appeal lately or maybe it's just extremely poor marketing. In any case I would definitely change the title.

I read the summary of Brothers Bloom and it seems fun, but is pretty convoluted for the average American movie goer. My concept is much more simple and fun.

Girl has everything >> Looses everything including love >> Finds love, happy ending.

Classic, but original in concept and story.

I also think this film suffered from a week non-major distributor (no screens) and no advertising budget. I had never even heard of the film, but the budget is stated to be $20 million on IMDB, which makes it very low budget in Hollywood terms.

***

I am going to temporarily put my script up for viewing/downloading as a PDF on the site. If you have time, check out the first ten, tell me if you think it. I would love to hear thoughts... www.nigerianletter.com

Maybe it will help someone give me some good title suggestions.

Thanks!

[curious1980]

Risky title, what with this fraud scam being famous across the internet. What I mean is, anyone searching for your film is going to find a whole bunch of fraud warning articles. I appreciate the title forms part of the theme, but still...

Just my opinion, your logline could do with the tiniest sprinkling of more info. What woman, where? Who and what is her unsung hero? A couple more words could help paint the picture.

Anyways, the script's already written and you've already received pro coverage. Are you really looking for feedback or is this just part of an ad campaign? Do tell.

-Derek

I was wondering the same thing after looking. As far as titles, they are non-important. All that matters is the story and how good it is. Good luck. :)

[PoMoTy]

Thanks.

This is not an ad campaign (per say, eh?), it's a feedback crusade! For fun.

Plus, I'm working through some writers block...

[Pilote]

I read the summary of Brothers Bloom and it seems fun, but is pretty convoluted for the average American movie goer. My concept is much more simple and fun.

Girl has everything >> Looses everything including love >> Finds love, happy ending.

Classic, but original in concept and story.

I also think this film suffered from a week non-major distributor (no screens) and no advertising budget. I had never even heard of the film, but the budget is stated to be $20 million on IMDB, which makes it very low budget in Hollywood terms.

***

I am going to temporarily put my script up for viewing/downloading as a PDF on the site. If you have time, check out the first ten, tell me if you think it. I would love to hear thoughts... www.nigerianletter.com (http://www.nigerianletter.com)

Maybe it will help someone give me some good title suggestions.

Thanks!

Will definitely check it out and give you feedback. I'm busy writing a script myself, first one ever, I only have another 20 or so scenes to write. I wrote it pretty fast. I started around the third week of May. I do a lot of continuous editing. I'm wondering if you do too?

[mario_c]

There is a movie called The Brothers Bloom which has a similar premise and has a very high pedigree with extremely well known actors like Adrian Brody, Rachel Weisz,Mark Ruffalo and directed by a promising director Rian Johnson. It tanked at the box office and yet it had pretty good reviews overall. This is not to discourage you but it may be that this sort of "caperish" type movie hasn't got much appeal lately or maybe it's just extremely poor marketing. In any case I would definitely change the title.
I loved this movie! The point of view of this story is the con men, their sibling rivalry, and the younger and more innocent brother's growing love for their quarry. So it sounds different from Nigerian Letter where the POV is the victim's.
Yes, unfortunately, this kind of movie is a hard sell - without Brody and director Johnson's prior buzz via his indie breakout Brick, this movie would never have been made. And that stinks.

[Gatita]

Well, I just downloaded the script and will check it out.

As far as the title, that's what intrigued me. I like it!

[Hillgate]

Nigerian scams have been in operation since the eighties if not before...they have been around for a long time and if your story is set in the present day I would find it stretching credibility in a romcom, although NOT a broadcom, for anyone sensible to be taken in by one, especially if your protag is smart, which I'm sure she is.

Title sounds a bit 'old hat' but as Icerose says don't worry about the title because you're not the best person to choose it. Leave that to the distributor or producer. It's just a working title and you should mark it as such on your script so they know you know it's only a title. What matters is the other 110 pages. :)

[PoMoTy]

Will definitely check it out and give you feedback. I'm busy writing a script myself, first one ever, I only have another 20 or so scenes to write. I wrote it pretty fast. I started around the third week of May. I do a lot of continuous editing. I'm wondering if you do too?

Thanks Pilote.

Yeah I do probably to much continuos editing. I always start 10 pages back from where I left off last, read it, make correction/changes and then move forward. It helps me keep the flow, acclimate, and get every page read many times over and refined.

[PoMoTy]

...I would find it stretching credibility in a romcom, although NOT a broadcom, for anyone sensible to be taken in by one, especially if your protag is smart, which I'm sure she is.


It's not an actual Nigerian Letter that the protag in my script falls for. I know what you mean, because its true no smart person would.

In my script the protag learns she was adopted and is conned by a French man who comes to tell her she is the heir to a French Barons fortune. He wants to give her a free (all expenses paid) trip to Paris to see if it's true...

I feel like a lot of people would fall for that!

[Gatita]

I just read it, really enjoyed it and ended up reading the whole thing although I'd planned to only read 20 pages or so!

PoMoTy, I PM'd you a more detailed critique...

Overall I thought I was great fun.

[PoMoTy]

Gatita,

You are exactly why I came to Absolute Write. I greatly appreciated and enjoyed your feedback, and love that you took the time to give it. Writers should help each other and I look forward to returning the favor.

I'll be taking my script down from the website tomorrow.