Would you go see this?

[JulieJames]

I had an Idea to make this a non-fiction novel, but I just don't see myself writing about myself like that. So I was thinking, why not turn it into a comedy (with a little bit of romance) that's based on a true story?? I know hollywood eats that based on a true story stuff up!

So anywho, it's basically this chick that used to be in good shape but through a nasty breakup fell in love with food, very homer simpson-ish (think Mmmmmmm Donuts!) well she still has all these friends that are weight lifters and she's just gotten fatter. When one of her male friends confides in her about a nasty breakup, he suddenly becomes the man of her dreams. He's also concerned about her letting herself go and it prompts her to get her butt back in shape, then the story follows all of her ups and downs more the physical ones than the emotional ones because well emotional ones just aren't funny, I mean maybe 1 or 2 might be funny, but I couldn't see making the whole story about her emotional drama.

So what do you think?? Would you go see it?

[DavidZahir]

Honestly? Probably not, unless the story were told with great wit and humor.

[TheUnknownAuthor]

My wife would go see it if Sandra Bullock was in it.......or Robert Pattinson :-)

[DevelopmentExec]

the story follows all of her ups and downs more the physical ones than the emotional ones because well emotional ones just aren't funny, I mean maybe 1 or 2 might be funny, but I couldn't see making the whole story about her emotional drama.

So what do you think?? Would you go see it?

I think you need to find away to make the emotional and internal conflicts funny or else you don't have a story. Physical humor is not enough to make a comedy fly. Comedies require all the elements of drama, PLUS humor - and not just jokes, but a comedic tone and POV, characterizations, actions and reactions. It's a combo of what you explore and how you explore it that makes a comedy a comedy.

Your character still needs a goal, a need and an obstacle. You still need an inciting incident, escalating conflict climax and denoument. You still need a theme at the heart of your story.

Do I think a comedic story can be created out of your set-up? absolutely. But whether or not you can create a comic story out of your idea remains to be seen.

[Cyia]

People tend to think comedy is easy - it's not. The surest way to kill a comedy is to try and be funny on purpose.

Watch a bunch of comedies with the tone you're going for and pay attention to the timing in them, not just the punchlines.

[JulieJames]

People tend to think comedy is easy - it's not. The surest way to kill a comedy is to try and be funny on purpose.

Watch a bunch of comedies with the tone you're going for and pay attention to the timing in them, not just the punchlines.


awesome advice, I wouldn't be trying to be funny. My friends and I are just really funny most of the time, so I was thinking to just put that in there and see what comes out. I guess I just need to write it and see how it comes out. I agree that comedy is a lot harder than most people realize. I guess we'll see what happens!

[8thSamurai]

I read novels, not watch them.

And have no idea what a 'non-fiction novel' is.

[scriptwriter74]

i don't see anything original here

[Celia Cyanide]

I read novels, not watch them.

And have no idea what a 'non-fiction novel' is.

I've only heard that description applied to In Cold Blood.

[Cyia]

I read novels, not watch them.

And have no idea what a 'non-fiction novel' is.

Narrative non-fiction. Someone whose real story reads like a novel.

[AdamH]

I read novels, not watch them.

And have no idea what a 'non-fiction novel' is.

Think: The Hot Zone by Richard Preson.

Completely bone chilling true story about the Ebola Virus running rampant in the US but written with a thriller novel flair.



To answer Julie's post:

If you're going to do a Rom-Com, you need to find the humour in everything. Emotions are funny that way. It has to go beyond the one dimension of physical comedy to be considered funny. It's cute and silly having a clutzy character that trips over stuff (Sandra Bullock) but gets old really quick. Also if there's no timing, there's no humour no matter how funny the punchline is.

I haven't seen The Proposal...but the timing between Sandra and Ryan Reynolds is great on the previews. Watch some movies, read some scripts that are along the lines to how you'd like to write this.

But...if you can nail the timing, it might be worthwhile to see. :)

[JulieJames]

If you're going to do a Rom-Com, you need to find the humour in everything. Emotions are funny that way. It has to go beyond the one dimension of physical comedy to be considered funny. It's cute and silly having a clutzy character that trips over stuff (Sandra Bullock) but gets old really quick. Also if there's no timing, there's no humour no matter how funny the punchline is.

I haven't seen The Proposal...but the timing between Sandra and Ryan Reynolds is great on the previews. Watch some movies, read some scripts that are along the lines to how you'd like to write this.

But...if you can nail the timing, it might be worthwhile to see. :)


I was actually thinking along the lines of the breakup or knocked up. So now it's time to do some homework and find the timing. Thanks for the great advice!

[luke_mushu_2010]

It sounds pretty original to me. I'm sure a lot of women would like to see it, but it's not really my type of movie.

[Team 2012]

I'm sure a lot of women would like to see it,

You must have missed this part.
I couldn't see making the whole story about her emotional drama.

:)

[WMcQuaig]

To answer your question, no I wouldn't see it. That's not to say it's a bad idea though. As for originality, I'm seeing a female version of "Run Fatboy Run". On the one hand, it could be original in the sense that it is about the lengths women will go too, etc. etc. On the other hand, it's basically "Run Fatgirl Run".

I think it would be funny to see if she tries to lose weight for this guy but just can't give up a good jelly donut. But that's me. Best of luck.

[zeprosnepsid]

He's also concerned about her letting herself go and it prompts her to get her butt back in shape,

That kind of borders on insulting on a couple levels. She's not lovable if she's fat? It takes a man to get her to get in shape? You may alienate a lot of your audience right from the concept.

She should decide to get in shape for the 'right' reasons. And ideally, he should love her when she's overweight. Maybe she falls for him and gets in shape for him but then finds out he liked her all the time. Or he helps her get in shape just to spend more time with her, not because he cares what she looks like.

But making it about 'thinness' is really un-p.c.

[Fokker Aeroplanbau]

This reminds of "Run Fatboy, Run!" That was a funny movie, great wit and I enjoyed the plot. This, like all 'Real Life but Hollywood' movies (a self-inflicted genre) needs to have some great supporting actors, some great writing but most of all: a woman we can identify with. No real hotties, just someone cute and pleasant; if it's someone like... Angelina or Megan Fox I wouldn't go see it just because it wouldn't seem possible.

I think you'll get some criticism from the 'cultural elite' but don't sweat it, a good movie will be a good movie if it's a good movie; not if someone's worried about the morals Hollywood portrays. Wow, I can hardly put Hollywood and morals in the same sentence with a straight face. Hahaha.'

[JulieJames]

That kind of borders on insulting on a couple levels. She's not lovable if she's fat? It takes a man to get her to get in shape? You may alienate a lot of your audience right from the concept.

She should decide to get in shape for the 'right' reasons. And ideally, he should love her when she's overweight. Maybe she falls for him and gets in shape for him but then finds out he liked her all the time. Or he helps her get in shape just to spend more time with her, not because he cares what she looks like.

But making it about 'thinness' is really un-p.c.


well... I'm the fat chick and when I step out of the situation I find it quite hillarious, especially all the s*^t I've been going through so far...

[zeprosnepsid]

A woman trying to lose weight and facing all kinds of crazy obstacles is potentially quite hilarious. A woman trying to lose weight to gain the 'love' of a man is pathetic.

[ricetalks]

I'm not likely to see this type of movie, but I don't have a strict bible of what I will and won't see. Anything well done will attract me. I think there is a big audience for this type of film. I think the idea holds promise.

Writing comedy is hard. I think for this type of story to work you have to have a very good sense of the absurd. Of the ironic. And you have to write it with a certain amount of love and warmth in your heart if it is not going to come out too black. If your not laughing while you writing it, it's a bad sign. If you're writing it thinking, "This will be funny. Yeah, this is funny" you're in trouble.

Remember whenever you are writing any story, be it truth or fiction, you are always participating in the artificial structure of telling a story, more so than ever in a film script. So whether or not it is a true story, whether you draw your material from your real life, you imagination or the newspaper, you must still hammer those incidents and events into the artificial structure of a 120 page screenplay. So it really doesn't make any difference to the actual writing of it, whether or not it is true.

In a way you are always writing fiction. I think the idea has merit. Knock the idea out and see what you get.

[JulieJames]

Rice- thanks for the advice and support. I've already started trying to hammer out a ROUGH outline, and I think i have like 30 (?) comedys along similar lines lined up in my netflix que so I plan on watching them all at least 2x each and taking note on everything and especially timing!

[ricetalks]

Take a look at it all. But remember, at the end of the day you have to write something original. Something only you can write. So take a look at whatever for the possibilities, the "how someone else might have approached and handled the material", but in the end, accept that you have to tell your story in the way that only you can.

Get a feel for what you want to tell and how you might want to tell it, but when the rubber hits the road, don't put to much stock in anything you saw. Forget it all and write what only you can write.

I might not want to pay $13.00 to se it, but I'm willing to bet my wife would.

[Pilote]

I usually avoid those types of movies, they sound too much like paint by numbers for me but I can see that it might be appealing to people who enjoy movies like The Proposal.

[zeprosnepsid]

The Proposal subverts gender expectations by putting the woman in the man's role. I doubt people who enjoy that would like to see a woman lose weight to please a man.

I really think you should focus on the group of women and go girl power.

But I'll let this go now, my opinion is well known. I just couldn't let that comment on The Proposal go unanswered. I've been researching the preferences of female audiences for 2 years now for a project, so I just have strong opinions on the subject.

[Grandmaster]

I keep seeing anywho posted all around the internet. Doesn't anyone know that it's NOT a word?

On topic: I'm a dude so I'd really not be interested, but maybe if it was funny you'd get a few women drag their men along.
I hate it when they do that.

[creativexec]

It doesn't quite have the "ring" of a feature film. However, you mentioned some recent and popular titles in regards to the template and tone you want to follow - which is good.

Based on your limited pitch, I don't hear enough to sustain 90 pages of conflict. This sounds like a few scenes at the most. You want to be able to create enough substance so it doesn't feel like one joke played over and over again for 90 minutes. And what seems funny to you and your friends can be painfully unfunny to everyone else.

There was a 70s Broadway comedy called MY FAT FRIEND about a heavy woman who falls for a guy and then struggles and succeeds (through the course of the play) to lose her weight - only to discover, in the end, he was attracted to her girth.



:)

[Pilote]

The Proposal subverts gender expectations by putting the woman in the man's role. I doubt people who enjoy that would like to see a woman lose weight to please a man.

I really think you should focus on the group of women and go girl power.

But I'll let this go now, my opinion is well known. I just couldn't let that comment on The Proposal go unanswered. I've been researching the preferences of female audiences for 2 years now for a project, so I just have strong opinions on the subject.

Since you've been researching the preferences of female audiences for 2 years I would be interested in knowing what these are. This is not an idle question I am genuinely interested. I wasn't referencing women in particular in the statement I made I was referencing what passes as popular entertainment. I know The Proposal has been hugely successful and I'm not certain only women went to see it.

[ricetalks]

Killing an idea in its germination phase is a cruel idea. Flush it out and see what you have. It is impossible to tell just how good or bad the script might be by just the very inkling of the idea. Certainly there are many films out there with a thinner premise than this. (Although I wouldn't hold them up as an example of a good film, they have an audience nontheless)

This is just at an idea level here and maybe we could get a little more positive feedback in helping someone flesh out an idea rather than just trying to kill it outright before it even has a chance of developing into something. If you start censoring yourself at the IDEA phase of a project, I'm not sure you will ever get anything done.

[Pilote]

Killing an idea in its germination phase is a cruel idea. Flush it out and see what you have. It is impossible to tell just how good or bad the script might be by just the very inkling of the idea. Certainly there are many films out there with a thinner premise than this. (Although I wouldn't hold them up as an example of a good film, they have an audience nontheless)

This is just at an idea level here and maybe we could get a little more positive feedback in helping someone flesh out an idea rather than just trying to kill it outright before it even has a chance of developing into something. If you start censoring yourself at the IDEA phase of a project, I'm not sure you will ever get anything done.

I think that's an excellent idea. I'm just as guilty here, maybe a bit too eager to judge. It does take time and positive criticism for an idea to germinate and flourish.
I will do better next time.

[curious1980]

People tend to think comedy is easy - it's not. The surest way to kill a comedy is to try and be funny on purpose.

Watch a bunch of comedies with the tone you're going for and pay attention to the timing in them, not just the punchlines.

Cyia is right. Comedy is far from easy. Just because you think you're funny doesn't mean other people will. Plus, it's all about timing. You have to know how to bounce dialogue and action in a way that will make people laugh. I suggest the same as Cyia. Read a few comedies. Get as much advice as you can from people you know will be honest. They will be the most helpful. Good luck!

[Nightfly]

If you believe in it - if you think there could be a good story here ( and I think there could be) I say go for it. If I could point out comments 16 and 17 there's inspiration for 2 supporting characters right there. WMcQuaig's comment could be insulting but if handled with humor and sincerity I think it's plausible conflict in the movie. If she's come to rely on food to make her feel good about herself that scene's going to happen. She's going to have doubt and fear and she's going to look for comfort from her old friend the donut - or whatever. That is a very difficult, very real struggle and could be handled in a variety of funny ways depending on the tone of the movie. And Zeprosnepsid's (Am I pronouncing that correctly?) reaction to WMcQaig's post holds a lot. Should being overweight matter? Should you change for others? What if you can't find the motivation to change for yourself? Ah? The more I think about it the more potential I see. There are so many people who could relate to this. America is overweight and and nobody wants to be so there's conflict there. A piece of advise - Give your character Heart -(the Farrally Brothers get away with what most could not because of tremendous heart) - and give your movie dignity. Good luck. I look forward to seeing it.

[nmstevens]

Rice- thanks for the advice and support. I've already started trying to hammer out a ROUGH outline, and I think i have like 30 (?) comedys along similar lines lined up in my netflix que so I plan on watching them all at least 2x each and taking note on everything and especially timing!


You see, you face a really tough problem when you take on this kind of story.

On the one hand, you don't want to promote or reinforce the idea that this woman's sense of worth as the world views her or as she views herself is simply tied up in how she looks or how much she weighs -- so that the easy impulse is to structure the story thus --

She lets herself go. She's overweight. She sees this great looking guy. So to try to win him, she's got to lose weight and get herself back in shape. So she does but through this,that, and the other plot complication she realizes that, after all, the guy was never really interested in how she looked, but really was only interested in the *real* her.

But somehow, to make it work, at the end -- she can't go back to being fat, and she can't end up without the guy. So she's got to *still* end up being thin, and she *still* got to end up with the guy -- but you're still somehow supposed to be selling the idea that it doesn't really matter -- being thin and ending up with the guy.

That's because, like it or not, the sad brutal reality is -- it does matter.

If you're fat, if you're ugly, if you're poor. If you stutter.

It matters. The world judges you by the face you show it. And if you're pretty, and wealthy and well-spoken you will most likely do well, even if inside you are empty or full of crap.

And the idea that the reverse is true is just, well -- Hollywood. It's a comforting story that people like to hear, only it isn't really true.

So you have to decide whether your goal is convey something that is comforting or to convey something that is true.

Because there can be true things that one can convey even within the limited confines of a romantic comedy.

But what you need to ask yourself -- and it's a hard question that needs asking and needs answering -- is what is the true thing that you are going to say about what it really means to be fat and to be thin in our world. That people are cruel and thoughtless and judgemental? That they force you to judge yourself? That they relegate you to the status of a "supporting character" in your own life? That, like in every "ugly duckling" story, happiness means peeling off the exterior that *everyone else* considers to be ugly to reveal an interior that *everyone else* considers to be beautiful -- and thus you achieve *your own* happiness?

You see, the problem is -- every love story is about the obstacle that stands between the lovers and overcoming that obstacle.

What is the obstacle here? The woman is fat and therefore the lovers cannot be together? The woman doesn't like herself because she's fat -- and therefore they can't be together?

And what is the man doing during all this? What keeps him from being with her?

NMS