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DoubleIT
09-26-2005, 08:15 AM
The 'ing' word thread prompted this... whenever i have a lull in creativity i do a 'find' for the word 'ing' and try to remove as many from my scene descriptions as possible. Its sad how many times i use the word "start" followed by an "ing"

He starts walking
she starts talking
the phone starts ringing
the maid starts cleaning

instead of

he walks
she talks
phone rings
the maid cleans.

Cleans up the script a lot!

DoubleIT
09-26-2005, 08:17 AM
Or using the word 'is'

he is laying on the couch
she is dancing in the street
they are sweeping the floor

he lays on the couch
she dances in the street
They sweep the floor.

I feel dumb.

dpaterso
09-26-2005, 12:07 PM
Sometimes I spend all day doing this stuff and don't get any writing done at all.

...Oh-oh. Should I change "any writing" above to "any writes"? No, no... maybe... no.

-Derek
Derek's Web Page - stories, screenplays, novels, insanity. (http://hometown.aol.co.uk/DPaterson57/scripts.htm)

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Enigma
09-26-2005, 04:43 PM
An excellent tip! Thanks.

Joe Calabrese
09-26-2005, 06:21 PM
Another think to consider with "ing," "is" and "starts" and other unnecessary elements are not just them being passive, but also a waste of space.

A screenplay is a well structured and tight writing form with limits and constraints and you only have a max of 120 pages (different genres are even be less pages) to tell your story and you cannot afford to waste a single space, character or word.

For example.

"Bob starts walking towards the door" is 35 characters and spaces.

"Bob walks out the door" is 22.

That's a 37% savings.

By the end of a 120 age script you can theoretically save a few pages and use that savings for information, action, dialog that is important in telling your story or create more white space to make the script look more appealing and read quicker,

Now who wouldn't kill to have 2 pages or more to work with?

This is why you must scrutinize each and every thing you put in your screenplay.

There will be times you will use an ing here or there, and of course, don't turn your script into "see spot run."

StephieM
09-26-2005, 07:52 PM
"This is why you must scrutinize each and every thing you put in your screenplay."

This is soooo true. When I was writing my pages for the contest, I think I originally had thirteen pages. :eek:

I had to go back and look at EVERYTHING. I did a lot of cutting down to get rid of those extra three pages. It's a very tough thing to do, expecially when you think everything is important.

Steph

Rainy Night
09-26-2005, 09:15 PM
"This is why you must scrutinize each and every thing you put in your screenplay."

This is soooo true. When I was writing my pages for the contest, I think I originally had thirteen pages. :eek:

I had to go back and look at EVERYTHING. I did a lot of cutting down to get rid of those extra three pages. It's a very tough thing to do, expecially when you think everything is important.

Steph
I had 13 pages also in my entry for the contest. I had to take a real serious look at everything and basically cut two scenes in half. When I read back through the final version I submitted it was much better.

Maryn
09-27-2005, 02:51 AM
Or using the word 'is'

he is laying on the couch
she is dancing in the street
they are sweeping the floor

he lays on the couch
she dances in the street
They sweep the floor.

I feel dumb.Oh, I think "dumb" is awfully harsh. Unthinking for just a moment, maybe?

BTW, when you're writing in present tense, lay is a transitive verb (I know, I know, a what?), which means it has to have a direct object. So after correcting he is laying on the couch to he lays on the couch, you still have a small goof. Try he lies on the couch--unless it's dialogue, of course.

I must've looked this up a hundred times before I learned it. Now I remember it by recalling that he can lay tile, or he can lay a cheerleader, but he can't lay down. Dumb, but it works for me.

Maryn, hoping this is slightly helpful (only 25,000 or so more words to examine one at a time, huh?)

scripter1
09-27-2005, 03:23 AM
take out those ing verbs.

Produces a much better read.

Many of the and's, the's, then's, but's , next's, can go as well.

Joe Calabrese
09-27-2005, 03:38 AM
Many people think I'm joking, but I strongly believe that in twenty years a screenplay will be nothing more than bullet points.

Rainy Night
09-27-2005, 06:51 AM
Many people think I'm joking, but I strongly believe that in twenty years a screenplay will be nothing more than bullet points.
Have you read the script for ALIEN? It's action lines are almost bullet points and that was written in 1976.

Drew's Script-O-Rama has a link to the revisd final draft.