Typos, Brainos, and Freudian Slips

[Sharon Mock]

So, I've been giggling all day over a bit of... infelicitous wording I found during my morning edits:

She put his arm around his shoulders.

Nice trick, that!

Same manuscript, caught several months back:

The anomalous storm had not failed to escape Argiope's notice.

Yes, I was trying -- and failing -- to say she'd noticed the storm. (And yes, I occasionally tend to overwrite a bit.)

Then there was free reign, which in itself isn't that embarrassing, although I know better. No, what's embarrassing is that, despite several rounds of revisions and at least a dozen different pairs of eyes, it took a professional editor to catch it.

But my absolute favorite braino -- the one I think I shall never surpass -- the one I still remember vividly after almost twenty years:

The nuzzle of a gun pressed into the small of his back.

So what's yours?

[storygirl]

Oh I wish I could remember some good ones of mine. I know I sometimes think there should be a blooper section at the end of the book because some of my mistakes make me laugh so hard.

I remember once that a character had "amble breasts." Yes, her boobs were going for a little stroll. Gotta problem with that? (Obviously, it was supposed to be: ample)

I've had many characters that need to "clam" down. (meaning of course: calm)

I mix up 'form' and 'from' a lot and so many other little mistakes I can't think of right now.

I'll have to go through my old manuscripts and see if I can find some better ones. I know I've had many that have made me laugh.

[kbax]

I can't remember some of the interesting typos in my fiction, although I know I've caught more than a few that made me giggle. One of my biggest problems with typing, thought, is that darn C right next to the X...so, when I'm IMing my boss, i have to be very careful not to type, "Just a sex..."

It's happened a few times but, (thank GOD!) I caught it before I hit enter. Oh, the joys of 21st century communication....

[ChaosTitan]

I caught one just now as I was doing some editing.

"Why did you kill me in Des Moines?" she asked.

Should definitely be "Why didn't you kill me...?", as she is neither a ghost nor a vampire.

A beta reader caught this one, in a scene between a black-haired police captain and his blonde secretary.

She tucked a lock of blonde hair behind his ear.

Whoops! Puts them in a bit of a compromising position, doesn't it?

My roommate had an amusing typo in a manuscript that we still tease her about relentlessly. I don't recall the exact sentence use, but there were scientits in the scene, rather than scientists.

And to my utter embarrassment(although not novel related, thank God), I created oodles of pon'far jokes when I called Vulcans "Vulvans." http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/e2brows.gif

[moblues]

Oh I wish I could remember some good ones of mine. I know I sometimes think there should be a blooper section at the end of the book because some of my mistakes make me laugh so hard.

I wish that I could have a Jackie Chan-type ending as a backcover, LOL. That is if I ever get published.




Mike

[Cheryll]

I once had a sentence that was supposed to read, "No more bowls of cold gruel." But what I typed was, "No more bowels of cold gruel."

:eek: :eek: :eek:

Cheryll

[BlackCrowesChick]

Several times in the past few days, I've noticed that when I type the word blood I do a typo and write blook. I don't know why it happens, but I always catch it right away and fix it.

[Jarsto]

I can't think of many typos I've committed right away. But one that stands out is a description of squirrels as having "big tales". Yup, they're talkative little things who can't seem to stop boasting. Or maybe I really meant to write tails after all.

[Niesta]

This wasn't mine, personally, but I loved it. In a friend's SF novel, enemy ships were approaching at 5 o'clock (or some such) and he wrote: "The boogey alarm began to wail."

That's like a combination of "bogey" and "boogie" -- the crew all started dancing.

[Loudernhel]

Here are two of mine that made it into print:

I encouraged everyone to sign up for a "creative writhing" class.

I referred to the "Board of Pubic Education."

Sometimes spell checker is not your friend.

[Maryn]

A beta reader caught this in my recent pages:

Dorie sidestepped puddles and cracked sidewalks.

Boy, that's one heavy footstep Dorie's got, huh?

Maryn, who didn't see it herself

[Ronni]

"She closed her eyes and stared ahead."

WHAT IN THE FRESH HELL WAS I THINKING WHEN I WROTE THAT?

I blame it on the Nyquil.

[KAP]

I might consider a creative writhing class.


I catch so many odd things in my writing they run together, but a friend's inadvertent pov switch stands out in my memory. She was reading pages to our critique group and suddenly looked up. Our faces all showed the efforts of restrained laughter. "I switched into the dog's pov, didn't I?" she asked.

She had.

[pepperlandgirl]

Yesterday, I meant to type "raced" three different times in three different contexts. Each time, the word came out "raised."

Why? I have no idea.

[TheIT]

Mine tend to be multiple meanings:

"The soldier hoped he could fight with the general again one day."

I meant "alongside", not "against."

[maestrowork]

I caught these AFTER the book went into production... yikes:

"...hospital situated among the slumps of central Kowloon..." -- slums

"...he lowers my head and stares at his hands."

[pconsidine]

I encouraged everyone to sign up for a "creative writhing" class. Somewhere on the boards is a personal favorite of mine where I referred to being "kicked in the groin and writing on the floor."

Wonder what I'd be writing in that case. Probably "OUCH!" or a whole string of curse words.

[TheIT]

Somewhere on the boards is a personal favorite of mine where I referred to being "kicked in the groin and writing on the floor."

Wonder what I'd be writing in that case. Probably "OUCH!" or a whole string of curse words.

Any Monty Python and the Holy Grail fans out there? The Castle ARRRGGH, anyone? ("Well, that's what it says." "You don't write ARRRGGH, you say ARRRGGHH.")

[luxintenebrae]

Maybe he was dictating?? Haha, I love that part! :tongue

[sirensix]

How about:

Alex frowned and licked Mary furtively under the table.

The L and the K are just TOO close together.

[Jeneral]

I just found this one the other day. A character was refilling his beer glass:

Mark poured from the pitcher.

I suddenly pictured him on this log-flume type ride, shooting out the pitcher and riding the stream of beer to the splash pool below. Which was, of course, not the original intent.

[SeanDSchaffer]

Before I knew anything really about the business, and before I knew just how bad word processor spell checkers could be, I made up a copy of my first work to send to the U.S. Copyright Office for registration.

It was filled to the brim with errors, because many of the misspelled words were still real words.

The one that sticks in my mind the most, just because it sounds so strange as it does, goes:

"To flaunt your authority before all me, you mean!"

The original highlighted word was supposed to be 'men.'

I only thought to proofread it after I sent it in to the Copyright Office. To this day I feel like a complete idiot for having done it that way.

[Shwebb]

I used to work in the business office of a nursing home, and I composed a lot of memos and letters (because the administrator and office manager were impressed by my writing ability--imagine that!).

One day I had to write a lot of memos regarding nursing shifts. I kept leaving out the "f." Fortunately, I caught the errors before memo distribution.

[mkcbunny]

My keyboard speed is off, and despite making repeated adjustments, it just types multiple letters on occassion. So I'll have "too" instead of 'to," plus extra "l"s, "f"s, and "s"s. If it results in a sspelling error [oh, look; it did it right there!], I can catch it, but the "to" / "too" will be highly embarassing if I don't. I do keep trying to adjust, but somehow it doesn't ever match my typing speed correctly.

As for finger-related errors, I type "form" instead of "from" all the time.

[Mac H.]

It works the other way, too - WE get it right but the computer decides to change it.

eg:On the critique board here: http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=26196

Ben runs out a long spool of wire, and attachés one end to the Morse set.

Mac

[scribbler1382]

Wasn't sure where to put this, but it's an excellent example of why tyops don't matter.

Can you read this?



Olny srmat poelpe can.

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

[TheIT]

Wasn't sure where to put this, but it's an excellent example of why tyops don't matter.

Can you read this?



Olny srmat poelpe can.

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Yep, I can read it, but I'd never try to submit it. ;)

[Jamesaritchie]

Oh I wish I could remember some good ones of mine. I know I sometimes think there should be a blooper section at the end of the book because some of my mistakes make me laugh so hard.

I remember once that a character had "amble breasts." Yes, her boobs were going for a little stroll. Gotta problem with that? (Obviously, it was supposed to be: ample)

I've had many characters that need to "clam" down. (meaning of course: calm)

I mix up 'form' and 'from' a lot and so many other little mistakes I can't think of right now.

I'll have to go through my old manuscripts and see if I can find some better ones. I know I've had many that have made me laugh.

I so this sort of thing so often that I must have seventy-five words loaded into my word processor's autocorrect. Form instead of from is just the beginng. And I nearly always type teh instead of the. But the word processor dutifully corrects all these automatically, which saves me a lot of work.

[Jamesaritchie]

Wasn't sure where to put this, but it's an excellent example of why tyops don't matter.

Can you read this?



Olny srmat poelpe can.

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Did you know this piece is a hoax? A Cambridge professor didn't come up with it, and all the words are carefully selected to be ones most people can read even with the letters in the wrong order?

[arrowqueen]

I was writing to a friend tonight. She'd just been describing her daughter's wedding dress, saying it was 'off-white rather than stark white.'

I replied that I preferred 'off-shite' too. Luckily I caught the typo before I sent it.

[LightShadow]

I wouldn't write so many typos if it wasn't for my pencil.

[sunandshadow]

My brain-os have been getting stranger and stranger lately, to the point where I'm a little worried about it. They started out relatively tame - trying for 'think' or 'thing' I always seem to get the wrong one. I continually mix up the names of several resturants, like saying 'Outback' when I mean 'Roadhouse'. When I'm writing numbers they occasionally come out as their first letter, like 'f' instead of '5'. Recently I caught my self writing about pwning a pet. Yep, I kicked that puppy's tail at Warcraft. :rolleyes:

But then the get worse. I was driving with my roommate, and he wanted me to look for a road going east, and I looked for a while, then said, "Sorry, there just aren't any trees going that way." *pictures trees marching east* Even scarier, it was contagious - the next time my roommate tried to say road he came out with 'tree' too.

Then I was just discussing yesterday with another writer whether "Ten major characters way'd be would too many." :eek: That's like a spoonerism only worse.

And today I was trying to write '18 and older' and somehow my brain condensed this into '19'. Not quite the same idea. :Wha:

[reph]

I once said "How much of there is it?" I don't remember the context. A tendency to transpose is a curse on human minds.

[fallenangelwriter]

weirdest typo ever.


when writing a story about angel while extremely tired, my hands were just slipping all over the keys.

at one point i referred to Gabriel as "Archangel Barbiel"

that's an interesting image.

[storygirl]

I thought of another one.

I've had characters 'sing' on the dotted line and 'sign' on stage.

One of the weirdest mix ups I make is typing All when I actually meant I'll.

Yes, I was dropped on my head as a baby. Why do you ask?

[DamaNegra]

Heheh these haven't been actual typos, but brain slips:

Once, I went to the store and asked the cashier to give me 200 pesos.

Another time, I asked a friend. "You haven't eaten a dog today?" I meant to ask if she hadn't eaten anything that day.

Another time, a friend went to the store, but realized she had forgotten her money. However, when she tried to explain to the cashier she said: "I forgot to put on my pants!"

[scribbler1382]

I'm guilty of this, myself. My wife sent me to the store to get some road salt for an approaching snowstorm, and once I got there I said "...and a bag of ice." I paid for it and everything. I only realized my mistake when the clerk told me it was in the freezer. "What the hell is the salt doing in the freezer? Oh...I said ice, didn't I."

[Avalon]

I just came across this, in reference to some drug information:


Reduces anxiety, promotes sleet.

[rich]

Hmmm, you never know.

[DamaNegra]

Just happened:

"The bull turned around and kicked Sam on the face. Sam fell to the ground, writing in pain."

[CaoPaux]

:roll:

Lord, there've been so many! The first that comes to mind is one I caught while walking to the fax machine: in a memo I'd typed concerning pubic parking.... :tongue

[Cheryll]

:roll: The first that comes to mind is one I caught while walking to the fax machine: in a memo I'd typed concerning pubic parking.... :tongue


Now THAT is funny! :ROFL:

[DamaNegra]

Don't know what's happening to me today. Just look at this:

"A huge man sat on a chair in the middle of the room. His head dropped slightly"

"Without a word, he licked at the face running through his face."

[Jackie Andrews]

She slipped her arm around his waste.

[MarkN]

She slipped her arm around his waste.

Ewwwww.....

[Raz]

O god i do it all the time, i get excited about a really good phrasing in my mind and i type it out so fast the all the letters are in the wrong place, eg;

hte cat jmped ocer te mat nad laded on all for of hisss pwas, (not creative at all i know) but it takes a long time to undo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Raz x x x:Shrug:

[Raz]

i just did it....."i type it out so fast the all the letters are in the wrong place" oppppppps!

[Solatium]

I'm normally pretty attentive, but I remember, when I was in my teens, replying to an e-mail my father wrote me, in which he was talking about some obscure film he'd seen. I wrote back: "Someday I'll be a film buss just like you!" I still don't know how that happened.

Now, when I'm talking I'm capable of the most incredible nonsense. I've lost count of the times I've spoken of seeing a movie at the "drive-through."

[Liam Jackson]

Wait until you misspell your own name. This little jewel happened a few years ago.

I was late for work, but stayed at the comp just long enough to send a final e-mail to an editor. After I hit "send" I rushed off for the day job.

That same afternoon I returned home and checked e-mail. The editor had responded. At the close of his mail he added something to the effect of: You really shouldn't be so critical of yourself. However, for future reference, it is L-A-M-E, not L-A-I-M.

Liam

[badducky]

Well, one time I was worshipping at the altar of the Incan Monkey Gods and translating their strange but beautiful language. (I drank buckets of coffee and worked through the night.)


In the morning -- er, late afternoon, actually -- I noticed that in the middle of a comparison between the speaking styles of Bob Dole and Bill Clinton, there was this line "I am very sleepy. I would like to go to bed." then, the writing continued on in the same vein as previously.

[ChaosTitan]

Just now...

"Research proved the theory to be a face."

Face, fact. Same thing, eh? :tongue

[alaskamatt17]

I was writing something related to rocket propulsion and I tried to type "mass flow rate." I missed the 'm.'

[(grasshopper)]

When I was working in electronics, I tested a defective circuit which was giving out erratic pulses on the oscilloscope.

My report said the output was pulsing errotically.

[sunandshadow]

I was writing something related to rocket propulsion and I tried to type "mass flow rate." I missed the 'm.'
:ROFL::roll:

[Ronda]

I laughed so hard that I woke the dog.

I'm great for having my fingers be woefully inadequate. My brain works faster, and my mom says I type like lightning. That's an interesting image, isn't it?

I can hardly ever type the word "with" properly. I usually end up reversing the letters. Once in awhile I write "wit" instead.

I do love Monty Python and the Holy Grail, BTW.

Here's what I find especially amusing. I'm mostly blind, but I'm a terrific proofreader. I read by word shape, so it's fairly easy for me to notice when someone has the wrong word or switches letters.

I can't think of any good ones to share, but I'll be sure to tell on myself when I do.

One of my friends used to love going through a local classified ad paper to look for typos. A favorite that she shared with me was a want-ad for a home health care agency. They announced, "Elderly hours." I still don't know what that means.

Thanks for the belly laughs.
Ronda

[TLHines]

My favorite of all time was on a new business plan I edited for a client. It was a proposal to open a new theme park, and in his plan, he was comparing his proposed park to many other theme parks. Thanks to a single missed letter, the innocuous-sounding "Six Flags Over Texas" became the more politiclally incorrect "Six Fags Over Texas."

[Ronda]

I am mostly blind, and when I'm using my eyes to read, things like this just make me nuts!
Olny srmat poelpe can.

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

When I'm using the speech program on the computer, it's just as garbles.

Maybe that's what makes me a good proofreader. I read by the shape of words more than anything, so if the shape is off, I notice most of the time unless there are similar letters together. like co or oc oe etc.

Ronda

[DamaNegra]

"The tinkling of the cutlery and the dinnerware became so loud in the deep silence that reigned on the table Isidril felt like covering her eyes so she wouldn't hear it anymore."

Smart girl, covering her eyes so she won't hear :tongue

[glutton]

I had two characters, one of whom died. Then, I decided to switch their names, but somehow missed the dead guy's name a couple times after he died.

So after being killed in the previous chapter, the dead guy speaks out a couple times. :D

[Tornadoboy]

I remember Stephen King talking about a funny typo he had once made in a manuscript, I think is was for "Salem's Lot".
He had initially written something like:

"the townspeople would go out and shoot all the peasants they thought their families could eat"

Of course what he had really meant was "pheasants"

[writeorwrong]

OMG, I had tears rolling down my face reading this thread. Which brings me to a personal classic:

"Tears coarsed down Emily's eyes as she read the letter."

Someone could make a mint just publishing a compilation of this stuff...