THE WEEKEND PROGRESS REPORT 2005

[msQTpi]

Well...

This week has been a clusterpuck. Monday morning my husband was rushed to the hospital with chest pains. I spent the next 3 days at his side. We just got back home Wed. afternoon.

The long and short of it is that he has 4 new blockages. The doctor diagnosed, but did nothing about it. His thoughts being that they can patch him every year or so until he just wears out, or Bruce can actually start doing what he was supposed to after the first time.

Bruce is home for the next two weeks. I am having to catch computer time as I can. He is playing computer games to keep his mind off of smoking (he is seriously trying to stop now) and when he isn't at that, he is absorbing most of my energies.

I have written nothing...zap away if you must.

Renee'

[batyler65]

As of this post I've:


Subbed 2 nonfiction stories for the software project
Subbed 2 children's puzzles
Subbed the rough draft of my November educational thingy
Sent out a query for a MS that has been collecting dust for a couple of years (due to lack of suitable market).
emailed a batch of greeting cards for a deadline today
applied for another freelance educational writing job
$ent an invoice for purchased work.
Done a daily job search for writing gigs.
I also rescued a turtle (or abducted one, depending on you POV), jumped through more banking hoops than I'd care to count and plotted fitting endings for inept bank employees (all fictional of course). We still haven't closed on THE house yet. *sigh* More paperwork glitches. Maybe next week.

I also managed to box up most of my office in anticipation of the big move. During the process I boxed up my extra checks. This would not be a problem, except I discovered this morning that there is only one check left in my checkbook. I'm sitting here contemplating which of the multitude of boxes might hold the extras and am gritting my teeth at the thought of having to open each one to look. *grumble*.

[maestrowork]

Active week...

- wrote TWO reviews, getting an extra $25... I am rich, I am rich!
- subbed a poem. Gag!
- finalized a short story for submission
- wrote to Mr. Big Name author
- finished two scenes for CTN
- wrote some poems
- being naughty...

ready for the 4th weekend...

[jdkiggins]

But I am managing:
To edit about 2 pages of my horror book each night.
Read at least two chapters of a book in the wee hours of the morning.
And still work on editing a few short stories before sunrise.

I did manage to edit 10 pages of my horror book, read four chapters of a book I plan to review, and I pulled out my folder of stories entitled "Life On The Farm," and had myself in tears laughing at what I'd written six years ago. I think I'll touch them up a bit and post them in SYW. I'd love opinions on them.

[ChunkyC]

Renee: a http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/EmoteHug2.gifand a http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/EmoteKiss.giffor you. Take care of that man of yours.

Kudo's to everyone and their accomplishments this week!

I just finished and submitted my weekly column. (War of the Worlds -- wicked fun, despite a couple of flaws)

I've completed all my final preparations for attending WesterCon tomorrow and Sunday. Obviously, I won't be around here for a couple of days. (stop cheering, Ray)

The big one was memorizing my pitch for HOME. It runs just under 2 minutes. I might have to hit the stop button on the elevator. I also have to remember to look at the person I'm speaking to. It's friendlier that way, plus I'll be able to tell right away if they fall asleep.

Wish me luck!

[jdkiggins]

Oh yes, I forgot. I wrote and submitted my monthly column.

[MacAllister]

*gggjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjzzzzzzzzzzttttttt*


It must be that high-voltage hum in the background. I haven't even POSTED a call for this weekends reports--yet, here you all are, reporting in! I'm very, very happy about that...

*gggggggjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjzzzzzzzzzzzzztttttt*

Okay, I'll confess I'm a little concerned about the popping noises and the hot-insulation smell, coming from the booster I rigged for the taser...And that occasional St. Elmo's fire business is just plain scary.

*gggjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjzzzzzzzzzzttttttt*

Sooooo.....there are still a number of AWOL weekenders...don't be shy! Step right up and sing out what you've been up to!

Welcome, Joanne--glad to have ya! <EG> The more the merrier. The hyper-oscillating superconductor coil I've fed the power through to reach the taser actually collects the grounded spillage from the previous zaps, enhances it, and delivers an exponentially more powerful charge with each subsequent shock.

*gggjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjzzzzzzzzzzttttttt*

Should be interesting to see what happens if ya'll had a slacker week...

Unique...I don't think I'm supposed to zap you if you DID write...Unless Barb left a note with special dispensation, just for you.

*gggggggjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjzzzzzzzzzzzzztttttt*

Kita, WRITE WRITE WRITE WRITE WRITE!!!!!!!!!!! FASTER!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

*gggjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjzzzzzzzzzzttttttt*

does anyone know if it's the usual thing for all the little hairs on your arms to stand up when you pick this thing up? Barb hasn't let me have it in a while, so I don't remember...

[batyler65]

*neon green post-it note flutters to the ground at Mac's feet*

UNIQUE THRIVES ON ELECTRICAL CURRENT. PLEASE ZAP AS A REWARD. ~b

[batyler65]

*pink post-it note flutters to the ground, smoldering*

DON'T FORGET TO POST YOUR OWN PROGRESS MAC ~b

[triceretops]

Well, heck. Major rewriting on finished novel. So far 99 pages of that. Subbed to 22 agents and publishers. Prepared a four-chapter email sub and sent it off to Hellbound books. Beating myself up for not starting another book--want to sooooo bad. The two books I'm thinking about are extremely commercial but rather dark in nature, and I'm queasy about starting something just for the money. The one I really want to write is a Bicentenial Man ripoff of sorts, so I don't know what to do. Perhaps a high-voltage zap will flog me into creativity.

Tri

[msQTpi]

Renee: a http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/EmoteHug2.gifand a http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/EmoteKiss.giffor you. Take care of that man of yours.

Kudo's to everyone and their accomplishments this week!

I just finished and submitted my weekly column. (War of the Worlds -- wicked fun, despite a couple of flaws)

I've completed all my final preparations for attending WesterCon tomorrow and Sunday. Obviously, I won't be around here for a couple of days. (stop cheering, Ray)

The big one was memorizing my pitch for HOME. It runs just under 2 minutes. I might have to hit the stop button on the elevator. I also have to remember to look at the person I'm speaking to. It's friendlier that way, plus I'll be able to tell right away if they fall asleep.

Wish me luck!

Thanks Chunky...and GOOD LUCK...you'd do great.

Renee'

[MacAllister]

ZZZzzzZZZZKKKKKKKRRRRRRRAAAKKKKKKKkkkkkkkttt!!



oh...jeez....*cough, cough...waves at smoke*

wow!


errrr....you all right, there, Unique?

[Unique]

ZZZzzzZZZZKKKKKKKRRRRRRRAAAKKKKKKKkkkkkkkttt!!





errrr....you all right, there, Unique?


Yes, thank you, ma'am. I'd ask for another but I don't deserve it. Maybe next week.

***maybe CC will come back with an inspiring tale (or two)***

[Kida Adelyne]

*walks in, trying to look small and insignificant*

Ok... ummmm... I wrote... yay, that's it *mutters* she can't tazer us if we wrote, precious... *turns back to Mac, standing up a little taller*

So... writing. I wrote a 300 word bit of new novel. I decided, after writing it, that it still needs to bake for another few weeks. I need to get a good idea for how to open it, because there are two ways I could start it, and I need to figure out witch one is better.

I did more rewriting on LostID.

I did a few journal entries, totalling 1000 words, where I had a serious chat with my antagonist for Lost ID who, in the words of my writing buddy, is a wicked witch from snow white wanna be. (Aka- she has no visible motivation at the moment.

I also started writing a really stupid story on an online journal of mine for no reason. I've writen two installments, probably at 300-500 words each.

I think thats it... nope. I also did some work on my illustated novel. I finally found one of my characters and gave him a name, and I re-did two pages (mostly for drawing, but I fixed a few wordings.)

Ok, now I'm done. This coming week I'm going camping, so all my writing is going to be done by hand. How much I get done is anyones guess.


-Ally

[ritinrider]

Good Luck Chuck. May you come back with a signed contract in hand.

Go Chuck, go.


Nita

[katiemac]

I'm reporting in. This week I had about 9,000 words. I manage to scribble down 200 more or so while I was at work this afternoon, so it's not so bad.

I almost gave myself a stroke Friday night when I was going through the WIP. I realized every single aspect part of my manuscript, with the exception of the last twenty pages, were jumbled. I haven't a clue how it happened, but scenes were separated and cut, 80 pages from where they used to be, and the entire thing was a mess of gargantuan proportions. I'm assumed it must have happened when I was highlighting sections to check on word count, but I have no idea. Anyway, it's fixed, after a good 45 minutes of panic, and nothing's missing. Even my backup copy was jumbled, so this must have happened weeks ago.

I realized somewhere in the middle of this week that, to be completely angst-y, this summer sort of sucks. Work is taking up 5-6 days of the week, and all of the other people who decided to come back to the hometown (which aren't many) are all in the same boat. Anyway, I'm not looking for a pity party or anything, but it's really boosted my drive. If this thing isn't finished up by the end of the summer, I'm going to be seriously disappointed. Not only do I want it done, I need to accomplish something better this summer than a temporary summer job.

So... 9,000 seems like an accomplishment. But I'm getting anxious because it feels too slow. We'll see what happens next week, I guess. I should be able to finish up "Part One" tonight, so if I could be done with "Part Two" next week that would be wonderful (30,000 words, approx). Unrealistic, but wonderful.

[Birol]

This week's report:

I wrote.
I deleted.
I wrote.
I cut & pasted.
I wrote.
I deleted.
I cut & pasted.
I grumbled and growled.
I wrote, cut, and pasted some more.
I banged my head against the wall. It hurt.
I turned myself over to my writing group for a sanity check. They told me I was insane and to keep writing and to stop banging my head against walls and things.
With all the writing, deleting, cutting, and pasting, I don't really know how much I wrote this week, but I ended up with just over 3300 words that I'm more or less keeping. At least in the rough draft. No doubt there will be more cutting, pasting, writing, and deleting in these scenes' future.

Oh, yes, and I did market research, too.

[Natalia]

Late again... story of my life in the last few weeks.

I didn't write much, really. But I did a lot of subbing. About 15 subs, actually. Not bad :) I need to write more, that I know.

I don' know much else.

Ick :(

[ChunkyC]

Hi y'all! I'm baaaaack!

The bad news: never got a chance to pitch to Tor. They had no dealer table set up, so the only time I got to see any of them was when they were up on stage during a panel where they were promoting their authors & books. Afterwards, they were surrounded and I would have had to climb over about twenty backs just to get within shouting distance. It's hard to kiss an editor's hand from twenty feet away.

The good news: I did get to have a chat with Brian Hades, the top dog at Canada's largest SF publisher, EDGE. He told me to send my ms on in. I can now send my submission with his name on the envelope instead of "Editorial Manager." I believe I have just managed to circumvent the dreaded slush pile. So now I have to decide whether to send it to the main man at EDGE or go through the Tor slushpile. Tor is so the big time, that it's a much tougher decision than it would appear to be.

Oh, here's some advice to all aspiring Tor submitters, directly from the mouth of senior editor David Hartwell. You can circumvent their slushpile in the following manner: find a book of theirs that you believe fans of would like your book. Look at the copyright page. He says most of their publications should have the editor's name printed there or nearby. Double-check with Tor to make sure that editor is still there. Then send your submission directly to that editor. This will bypass all the manuscripts they receive that aren't addressed to a specific person. Mr. Hartwell says this should vastly increase the odds that your manuscript will be read by that person. (some of these editors do have assistants who read submissions) The main point is that the majority of manuscripts in their general slush pile are read in a weekly session by high school and college age interns. They get so many that they have no choice.

Other pretty good news: I also talked to a few magazine publishers and will send some short fiction off to them, again with a specific editor's name on the envelope.

The fun news: I got to shake Larry Niven's hand and he signed my copy of The Ringworld Throne.

The annoying news: most of the pictures I took with my cheapo digital camera turned out to look like crap. I have a shot of Canadian author Robert J. Sawyer that looks like he's budding a second head (see below - that's David Hartwell on the left, the blur with the cowboy hat).

Overall: the panels were great. I learned some things, but mostly had most of the stuff I've learned here reinforced.

Time to submit, and then start writing the sequel to HOME.

[allenparker]

another reporting Monday.

Submitted new book queries to 8 publishers, 2 agents and some old guy outside a coffeeshop. Mixed reviews from the wino. Kind of tossed his lunch half way through the first page. Probably won't hear back from him.

Packages and mailed two full manscripts to publishers.

Finished outline for new book.
wrote 4000 word in other new book.

Received a offer from a publisher on new book, but it was written in crayon, the advance was offered in jellybeans, and the the signature appears to look much like my two year old nephew's handwriting. I might hold off on accepting this offer for a while.

Three-day weekends are fun. Just have to go back to work to get some rest.

Bring on the taser, I could use a jolt right now. Coffee pot is broken.

Allen

[Cate]

Hey all!

Got some done this week . . .
Got the first and second draft of a piece I was assigned by an editor done and interviewed a few people for the piece.
Got another go-ahead from an editor.
Began work on an article due at the month's end.
Thats about it--been doing a lot of picture stuff this week (I know it doesn't count, but . . . )

[WordSoup]

Requested guidelines from two greeting card cos. by email and one snail mail.
Took a writing test for yet another gc co.
Currently working on Novelles Images 24 pix.
Set fire to the sentimental crap I wrote last week.
Kept filing system in order.
Last night read "Pen on Fire" again, in one sitting, backwards.
Have the beginnings of "101 Ways to Kill Your Co-workers" knocking around in my head. (I really hafta finish the "Toledo Grinder" story)

[MacAllister]

Ally--
errr, *Mac scribbles frantically with pencil and paper, counting on fingers and toes*, That seems to put you in somewhere around 2K words for the week, yeah?

hmmmm.

Okay, then. No zapping for you. Not this week. But we'll leave you for NEXT week when you get back from your camping trip...BWAHAHAhAHHAhahahaahahaaaaaaaaa!!!

NEXT week: ZZZzzzzzzzzok!!! Just you WAIT, ya little renegade!!!

errrr...ummmm

I meant to say, "Wow! Good job, Ally! Way to GO!" Gold stars for YOU!

[MacAllister]

Joanne--I hear your pain. So I'm only gonna give you an itty-bitty, WEE little zap, to keep you encouraged and moving forward...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzoktttt!

Now, before your ears stop ringing, see about writing some new words, eh?

:D The column is all well and good, taking care of your mother who gave you life and changed your diapers and nurtured you for years and years is all well and good, but you have fans ya know, waiting for your next short story!

[MacAllister]

Kitahoshi? Oh Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-taaaaaaaaaa....I HAVE something for youuuuuuu....

Hmmm. Where do you suppose she went? And how do you suppose that story is coming along? And we DO have a record that she promised 5000 words for NEXT week, right?

[MacAllister]

Unique--
you already got your promised zap for the week...how about a teensy little gold star, too, just for trying something new?

And where the heck is that link to SYW?

And what ELSE were you working on this week?

[MacAllister]

msQTpi--Renee',

You have a LOT going on in your life. I just wanted to let you know I completely understand and empathize.

Writing is more important than keeping your houseplants alive.

Writing is more important than letting your teenager have the computer to play Doom, or whatever it is they're playing this year.

Writing is more important than doing the damn dishes yet again, when they're only gonna get dirty again anyway.

Writing is NOT more important than your spouse, or the other people you love. But he's home now. So get back to work.


*sigh* I feel worse about this than you do, really. Especially as I know how it is, when life gets in the way of writing. But we have to keep our priorities straight.



ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZKKKKKKRRAAAAAAAKKKKKKKTT!!!

[MacAllister]

Subbed 2 nonfiction stories for the software project
Subbed 2 children's puzzles
Subbed the rough draft of my November educational thingy
Sent out a query for a MS that has been collecting dust for a couple of years (due to lack of suitable market).
emailed a batch of greeting cards for a deadline today
applied for another freelance educational writing job
$ent an invoice for purchased work.
Done a daily job search for writing gigs. Holy Mackerel, woman....geez, look what you accomplish when you put your mind to it!

Well, okay, then. Gold Stars for Barb this week...:D

[MacAllister]

Ray, where'd ya sub the poem? Tell us! Tell us!

Big ol' GOLD STARS for you this week!

[Ray, I left the taser powered-down and in the mailbox at the end of your driveway. Next week IS your week with it, yes?...not that that has anything to do with your gold stars for the week, of course...cuz it doesn't...I mean it....really.]

[MacAllister]

Write what you WANT to be writing. Write what you can commit to, enjoy, and romp through. Write what your heart tells you to write.

Here, just to help you clear your head:

ZZZZKKKKRRRAKKKKTTTTTTZZZZZZZ!!!!

[MacAllister]

ummmmm? Was that supposed to be your report?



*sigh*

GJJJJJJZZZZZZZOOKKKKTTTTTTTTKKKZZZZZZZ!!!!!





bzzzzttt....bbzzzzt....bzzzttt...... *intermittent flashes of arcing blue light reflect from the smoke roiling in the sudden darkness*

oh heck. Can somebody get to the breaker? I HATE when that happens...

[MacAllister]

9,000 seems like an accomplishment. But I'm getting anxious because it feels too slow. We'll see what happens next week, I guess. I should be able to finish up "Part One" tonight, so if I could be done with "Part Two" next week that would be wonderful (30,000 words, approx). Unrealistic, but wonderful. Damn, girl! I think I barely managed nine HUNDRED words this week! And you're thinking it should be MORE???

I've still never recovered from thinking I'm entitled to summers off, just for playing. Public Schools have done us no favors, Katie.

Okay, gold stars for you. Suck-up. I think you're just showing off for Barb.

[MacAllister]

Lori:
You're insane.

Keep Writing.

Stop whacking innocent objects with your head. It's not fair. The objects are inanimate, and cannot evade you.

Now, stand up straight:

GGGJJJZZZZZKRRRAAAKKKKKTTTTTTZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!



And no, that wasn't just for last week.

And it wasn't because you laughed when I zapped myself on the top of my head on the electric fence ground and it knocked me down.

And it wasn't cuz you tried to interrupt my nice nap on my keyboard to remind me I was supposed to be meeting with my crit group, either.

It was because sometimes a nice little electric shock like that sort of clears the mental sinuses, so to speak...

now get TO it, girlie!!! WRITE, WRITE, WRITE!!!!

But first, you might just pat out that little smoldering place on your left eyebrow...

[MacAllister]

15 subs, but not much writing...hmmm.

What would Barb do, d'ya think? *Mac scans left-over post-it notes*

Hmm. Nothing here. Gonna have to play it by ear, I suppose.


ZZZZZZZZZZOKKkkkkkttttttttzzzzzzzzz!!!!!


I set it on "medium-fry" cuz fifteen subs is nothing to sneeze at. But jeez...you could make your teenage KID do that for you, while you write cool NEW stuff!

If I had a teenage kid, that's what I'D do, anyway...

[MacAllister]

errr...okay. You know what? You just finished a big rewrite. You went to Westercon...

But you don't get to coast on that forever, big guy. So what's the next project? What are you WRITING???!!!!

Glad you had fun, Charlie. :) Take a deep breath, start planning something new.

[MacAllister]

wow--all over the three-day weekend? Cool! Gold Stars for you, boyo!




And for the sake of continued creativity and motivation, because you specifically requested it, a little zap:

ZZZZZKKKKKKRRRRRAAAKKKKKTTTT!!!!!!!!

[MacAllister]

Gold Stars! You sound busy, productive, and like you're having a ton of fun. :D Way to go!

[MacAllister]

No setting fire to things.

That's MY job.

:D

Sounds like you had a pretty good week--so we can end this weekend report on a Gold Star note! Hurray!

I'd hate to just be remembered for the taser....

[Yeshanu]

Definitely poke the mother creature, Ally. she has been slacking off.

The mother creature has been very busy building a taser-proof bunker with 100 foot thick stone walls.

I mean, make teenage kid do subs for you... All right.

Make teenage kid do dishes or laundry or stuff like that... Even better.

Make teenage kid practice cello... Best yet.

But whose bright idea was it to give said teenage kid possession of a lethal weapon for a whole week?

Absolute insanity, that's what it is.

Anyhow, I've been taking a well-deserved holiday and I've done

Absolutely nothing

in the past three weeks.

So zap away.

I did just buy a new book on writing (which, as I glance to my left, I realize has already been stolen by said teenage kid) which has some exercises that should help me get past some really sticky parts in my novel, which is really what has been holding me up...

Anyhow, yes, we're going camping next week, so we'll both be reporting on Monday. I've already packed my pen and pad of paper, and I usually have great ideas when I'm in Algonquin, so I'll see you all next week.

And Renee, my thoughts and prayers will be with you and your hubby.

[MacAllister]

GJJJJJZZZZZZZZZZKKRAAAKKKKTTttttzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!

[Kida Adelyne]

((*giggle* I told my dad that we would be having roast ruth the moment she reported! *walks away, laughing like a loon*))

[Natalia]

I got zapped :whip:

:Huh: I thought something was better than nothing.:cry:

I guess it wouldn't help to mention that I got over 1000 words done today?

[MacAllister]

Over 1000 words, just today?

That's terrific!

See? The zapping WORKS! :D

[ritinrider]

ow,ow,ow,ow. Nita whips off her brand new glasses that she just found (lost them for a day, probably cause her mind was on writing projects and she wasn't watching where she put them). But they've got metal on 'em, in 'em, something that darn taser made 'em burn my face and head. Not a pretty sight I assure you.

No, Mac that wasn't my report. I ummm stalled on the report and then forgot to post it. Darn, darn, double darn, that thing hurts.

Actually, I researched 5 new markets for my nf thing that I keep messing with. Even sent off for guidelines for those that weren't online. So now I have five markets to query next week, uh, this week.

Also, wrote on the nf thing I keep messing up, added about 1500 words to it, course probably 500 of those were words I cut the first time and made it too bare. But, one more pass and it should be good to go should someone wish to see it.

And, I got my romance contest entry back from a friend (?) who was adding her critique to the judge's, even found the notes I'd written on it way back when for future chapters. And, I finally found the disk it was stashed on, so I can add to it too now.

And, I even did more research on E and worked out one of the scenes. She wants to but doesn't kill the bad guys, but still manages to create problems for them. It's really getting fun to work on now.

THAT, Ms Mac, is my report. Who gets that blasted taser next week?

Hoping there weren't too many typo thingies, it's hard to read what you're typing without the glasses, and they's still too hot to put on.

Nita

[Unique]

Is it safe to come in here yet?:flag: ( I think it's Katiemac's turn next week - unless the schedule changed.)

Nita, better get some ice for that. (It really helps if you're wearing rubber underwear when you get zapped. Keeps the juice 'upstairs' if ya know what I mean.)

Mac, 'Beware the Cheese' is all talky-talky & no walky-walky.(Maybe if I lied and said it was dialogue for a play...?) And my else was 8,000 more of someone else's words - I exaggerated last time.

And I don't know how to do that link-thingy.

Um. How does Katiemac feel about electricity? I've heard she has a flamethrower - I'm scared of fire...:scared:

[Birol]

She zapped me just 'cause she could. Just starting to be able to remember my name and what my WIP is supposed to be about after that little charge lit up my world. Next week is KatieMac and Her Infamous Flamethrower, eh? I wonder if Brady would loan me some of his firefighting gear?

Oh, Brady.... Come out, come out wherever you are....

[ChunkyC]

Just poking my head in to tell Mac (coz she didn't read the fine print in my previous post upthread) that I'm starting the sequel to HOME.

Today.

Right now.

So what am I still doing here? Time to log of--

[Unique]

Greetings fellow WPR members!

Since I'm terrified of fire and it's Katiemac's turn with the flamethr - I mean taser, I've posted a bit in the SYW Forum under 'Other'. I know it's early, but I really am afraid of fire....:scared:

We'll see if that 'clicky-link' (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=15508) shows up.

No harm intended - just a bit of good clean fun. I knew I'd come to the 'Write' place.

Just remember - there's enough cheese out there for everyone. No one escapes the CHEEEEZZEE..... Bwahahahahaha!

[MacAllister]

see? That wasn't so painful, now, was it? :D

[Unique]

see? That wasn't so painful, now, was it? :D

Only if you're comparing it to amputation.



I just hope it's good enough for .....>Yikes< ....who lit that?


(thanks, Mac!)

[Birol]

Oh, Unique, that's hysterical.

[maestrowork]

What a buncha loloons.

It'll take Mac 3 years to get out of that straight jacket. I think she has the taser surgically sewed onto her hand...

[katiemac]

Okay, weekenders. I know there's been a lot of talk about my flamethrower, but I'm willing to give the taser a chance for the sake of WPR tradition. The problem is, I've been fiddlig with it all week and I can't seem to figure out how to work it.

I mean, all you do is push this little button...

Zzzrrrrrrttt ppptt... ppppptttt....
Mac, what did you DO to this thing?! With the flame-thower, you just need a little flick of your wrist and... and --

WHOOSH!!!!

Wow, was that a great display or what? Huh?

... Where'd everybody go? Maybe someone should bring a fire extinguisher.

[batyler65]

FRIDAY, July 8, 2005

*looks around*

*sniffs*

Hmm. Must be Katie's week to handle WPR. The lingering smoke and telltale scent of gently smoldering hair gives it away.

My week in review:

2 nonfiction subs for the software program
wrote one humor column
met one newsletter deadline
subbed 3.5 batches of humorous greeting cards (one is still in progress)
tossed my hat in the ring for yet another educational writing assignment.
Found out I am making a sale from something I proposed THREE years ago.
Began researching my next TWO novels (both ghost stories) in earnest. (read, read, read)
Successfully creeped myself out while researching above novels.
um
Bought a house. (YES, THE house is now mine, mine all mine! *wild, maniacal cackling*)
Tried to figure out how to work from boxes until the big move.
Prepared mentally for tackling the third and final draft of MONSTER. (a.k.a. Barry needs a subplot. Anybody got a spare?)
Next weekend marks the start of my vacation. I use the word to mean: time to paint and otherwise twist the new house to fit my purposes.

Um, Katie? You do KNOW that you have to report your own progress, right? Right?

*ducks and runs*

[katiemac]

Don't worry, Barb. But it'll have to wait until Sunday like usual. Otherwise, I might just have to taser myself, and that would be awkward.

[ChunkyC]

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoticonidea.gif I'll hold the flamethrower for you while you report to yourself, Katie. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

Okay, my report.

Based on my conversation with their head honcho while at WesterCon, submitted HOME to EDGE (http://www.edgewebsite.com/), Canada's biggest sci/fi publisher.

Submitted a short story to Neo-opsis (http://www.neo-opsis.ca/), a small sci/fi magazine here in Canada.

Wrote 9,750 words in the sequel to HOME, called HOME AND AWAY. Liked most of 'em too.

Back to work tomorrow after having 10 days off. Blech.

[MacAllister]

blogged. Did a friggin' ton of research and contemplation, both on the book I want to write next, and the overhaul of Weird.

Have finally figured out what to do with Weird, because as is, the thing isn't quite working. I like the characters and the story, and didn't want to give up on them, however...

But I realized I was writing it from the wrong place in my head.

This doesn't mean it gets scrapped--just that it gets a pretty major overhaul before I can call it a reasonable draft and send it away to my beta readers (poor souls--and yes, Charlie, you're on that list too...)

Started said overhaul last night. Didn't keep track of the number of words. Between the lj, the blog, and some twenty pages of notes and links--I feel as if I haven't stopped writing, this week.

:D

[maestrowork]

i suppose i need to report now? sheesh...

wrote another two scenes on ctn -- did i mention i'm not counting words? just scenes... but the scenes could be really long or very short... ;)

subbed a short story

wrote the column

compiling media lists and possible reviewers for tpb's publicity

wrote two poems



boy... my writing life is so boring!

[triceretops]

Well, I have struggled through 375-pages of first draft with another 28 to go. This is way too much like work. I've pulled so much passive out of this thing, then had to rewrite, I wondered if it was EVER going to get any better, or that I'd learned over four months to improve my writing. I'll probably finish tonight, but I'm diving back in there to beef up characterization where it's needed. I've had to start a mountain of dialogue paragraphs, totally rewrite very unclear sentences, pull commas, and use much simpler, clearer words for what I was trying to say.

It's so true that when you give your manuscript time to cool, then approach it again, it looks like it was written by some dolt. To complicate matters Five Star Sci-Fi wants the whole email manuscript, and I didn't even send them the first three! That will teach me for jumpin' the gun. But that's no excuse to hurry up the script--only one shot at first impressions.

Now you listen here, Macalicious, you couldn't have done any worse than I did. Just remember that you have an unruly shrub there that needs trimming and nuturing. Did you draft that new branch onto the project--that extra scene? Don't jump from a leaking ship--turn on the bilge pumps and patch that mutha. You can dooooooo it.

Tri

[Kida Adelyne]

Ullo, popping in for a sec.
I wrote nothing. I would suggest the tazer Katie, I adore flamethrowers. If you flame me I'm libal to hold a marshmallow in front of it. And darn you if I burn it.;) If the tazer is low on power, I could stand in a puddle of water for you.


As well, I am off to camp that I had no idea I was going to until today for two weeks. Lukily for me I will be home on the weekend, so I'll still be able to do my turn with the tazer *little mavolient smirk*, but I won't be able to do the call out till afternoon, and I will only be able to tazer those who report on time. As such if KITA pops in here and READs THIS, I will hand over the tazer for a brief time for her to wield, if that's ok Barb? I'm really sad cus I won't be able to tazer anyone on my birthday.



*hugs*

-Ally

[Natalia]

Is it safe to come in?

Okies...

MY MS IS PAST THE 45K MARK!!!!!!!!!!!!! yaay... 50K is the next goal.
I also edited a short story that I had put up for critique.

Maybe 4K all in all... trying to juggle the new teaching schedule and writing. Making progress...slowly :)

[Birol]

*Lori comes in looks for a fire-safe location. Hides behind Ally. Realizes that location is so not safe. Considers ducking behind Mac, but doesn't quite trust her. Glances at Barb, but knows she'll just toss her onto the bonfire. Decides to hide behind Triceratops.*

Wrote 3879 words in TBWN
Deleted 2295 from TBWN (only 281 of them were related to the newly written words)
That's it. *Braces to become a crispy critter.*

[allenparker]

Wrote the following stuff:

Wrote, edited and proofed the INtro and Final Thought for NGYGSH.

Wrote the prolgue for BiblioHeroes.

Queried four places.

Collected stuff to mail two complete manuscripts.

Cried over rejection from full manuscript submission. Vowed never to buy another book from them, then searched Amazon to see what I was missing. Repeated vow with with a small exception list.

Allen

[msQTpi]

This past week I have successfully fought for the computer long and often enough to write about 3,500 words. Most of which were on a new story that started as an assignment from Steven King's book "On Writing". The rest are spread out between Trailer_Park_Gazette and a short I have yet to title...or finish.

We went to a book store last Saturday and I am in heaven reading (as mentioned above) Steven King's, "On Writing", Strunk and White's, "The elements of Style", Lawrence Block's, "Writing the Novel" and Ralph Keyes, "The Writer's Book of Hope". I also picked up Homer's, "The Odyssey" and a few more... The shocking part is that I walked out the door spending less than $50.00. I had expected the total to break the bank and it just broke a dent in what I had saved for the trip. YEA!!! That means I can go back sooner than I thought.

OK...back to work, my new MC is tugging at my sleeve.

Renee'

[Yeshanu]

The kids (Ally and Bro) spent most of last week roasting marshmallows using the residual heat from the zapping I got last week with the taser, so I vowed to do better this week. And I did! (Not much, but then I was on holidays...)

Though I only wrote two pages, one page was an outline for a humourous photo essay on our camping week (I'll supply a link on Friday when I get my tech wizard, aka Ally) back from camp for the weekend. To add to Ally's report, she did do most of the photography for the essay, even though she didn't write a word all last week.

The other page was a plan of attack for the long-awaited rewrite of ATTS. I can finally see the sun through the fog here, folks! If it works, I'll be away to the races as far as producing a coherent second draft is concerned.

Anyhow, the good news is that washing my brain off in clear Algonquin lakes (which, if you remember, had become all gooky under those dusty church records and such) seemed to help recharge it. I also found my muse, who, being a forest elf, can usually be found hiding out in some forest or other when she runs away.

[Cate]

Queried and got an article, for which I interviewed, took pictures and started draft #1 already.
Turned in draft 1 and the edited version for a mag that asked me to write an article.
Followed up on a gazillion things out.
Began research on an assigned article.
Thats about it this week.

[katiemac]

Okay, kids. I just wanted to let you know that through all the AW confusion I haven't forgotten about you. Neither has the taser. I'll check back tomorrow in late afternoon to go through all the posts.

As for me, I wrote about 5,000 words last week. It's coming along, but won't be finished this week like I wanted. There's still quite a bit to go.

[katiemac]

Wow, you've been busy. Congratulations on the house and your three year old sale!

I would pressure you to finish up Monster, but I know you're going to use a good chunk of your "vacation" time thinking up the perfect subplot and just how you're going to fit it all in. Right? Right! (Painting can be a great thoughtful activity - and the fumes! What a muse.)

http://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gif

[katiemac]

Chunk -- hands off the flamethrower! I'm afraid you'll char your own eyebrows off this time.

I guess I'll have to let you go this week. *grumbles* 9,000 words is a great advancement to a brand-new novel, not to mention your submissions. You haven't given up on Tor, have you? Nice title, too.

http://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gif

[katiemac]

I feel as if I haven't stopped writing, this week.

Sounds like I lost my muse and you found it! Overhauls can be tough, but you're confident in your direction and that will be a major assistant. I know you did a lot of research, but don't get yourself too caught up in it. If you don't write, you'll never get to use all the cool stuff you found out!

But... since you started the overhaul... maybe I'll let it slip. Just this once.

http://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gif

[katiemac]

Two scenes? From the sound of it, I'd say those scenes are bordering on short rather than long. You know, it might be a real pity when TPB comes out in November, and then millions of fans who read your book and loved it now have to wait to read a new novel. There will be cries! There will be tears! And won't you feel terrible?

The poems may have saved you this week. While those are great accomplishments, don't forget to prioritize your biggest goal.

http://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gif

[katiemac]

Keep up on the revision. You've got the goal right -- it's too bad they want the manuscript before you're prepared to give it, but don't let that hurry your style. Taking time is the best way to care for the manuscript.

Plowing right on through to the first revision, huh? Keep up the good work. All the dialogue and characterization will fall into place with the right amount of motivation. (Like Five Star awaiting the full story.)

http://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gif

(PS - Thanks for your own words of encouragement!)

[katiemac]

Nothing? Nada?

You asked for the taser... but the flamethrower hasn't been used in awhile. It's itching like mad for a good toast.

Don't forget to pack lots of paper and pens for camp. Since I can't follow through will the report next weekend, and YOU'LL be checking your own process, it's only fair I give you a proper kick in the pants:

(It's charging.) http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/sarge/Torch_anim.gif

http://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/skull.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/skull.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/skull.gif

[katiemac]

Congratulations on hitting the mark! Hitting "novel length" sure feels good! 4,000 is a great advancement. Remember this feeling if you get stuck in the future -- if halfway feels this great, just imagine what THE END will feel like. It's a moment ten times this size!

Good work.

http://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gif

[katiemac]

Wrote 3879 words in TBWN
Deleted 2295 from TBWN (only 281 of them were related to the newly written words)
3879 - 2295 = 1584.
3879 - 281 = 3598.

I was never good with math. But looking at these numbers, Lori, you DID come out on top. 3598 new words! That's over 500 new words for every day of the week. Deleting -- that hurts. I did a LOT of the last week and it makes the process seem grim, like you'll never be done.

But as long as you keep coming out on top -- postives instead of the negatives -- you're that much closer to THE END. Don't give up!

http://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gif

(You get an extra because you didn't think you deserved it. BTW, if I find out this was all a ruse to escape the flamethrower, it'll come back around.)

[katiemac]

I'm sorry to hear about that rejection, but you've gotten yourself together for six more opportunities. Four queries, and two FULL manuscipt request! That's great news.

You've even managed a little writing in there, too, which I'm sure will get you even more requests in the future.

Good work!

http://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gif

[katiemac]

3,500 words is great work. But since it's spread out across three different pieces, just make sure you're accomplishing what you want weekly for every project. It's encouraging to see someone taking on such a load, but be careful it's not too much and don't spread yourself too thin.

On the other hand, I'm glad to see reading such great books is inspiring you!
Keep it up!

http://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gif

[katiemac]

I know you've been a world of busy lately, so it's great to see that you've gotten back in the business, even if it was only two pages. The flamethrower has a soft side, as it seems, and doesn't want to scare your muse away by burning it to a teeny tiny little crisp.

This week you can roast your own marshmallows off Ally as payback.

The flamethrower has a soft side -- but I don't! I want new chapters, Ruth! It's been ages. I will continually harass you through emails and PMs if I don't get to read something soon. Don't believe it? Try me.

Go! Go! Go! Write more! Now!

http://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gif

[katiemac]

Good work this week, Cate! Articles, photos and queries! You're moving right along. Not to mention I'm sure you're preparing for the big gallery reveal. Just keep up the work so that in time, your photos will be so famous the exhibit will travel world-wide with reknown and I'll actually get a chance to see them in person. ;)

http://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gif

[katiemac]

What's with you guys this week? I only had to use the flamethrower once. Can I actually believe you were all good this week, or am I just a pushover?

... It must be the soft side. I'm waiting until the opportune moment to unveil my truly evil nature. The flamethrower won't be let down again, mark my words...

[ChunkyC]

Everyone took a look at what you did to my face last year....

http://bestsmileys.com/fire/2.gif

...and ran for their word processors.

[katiemac]

Heh heh. Oops.

[batyler65]

I'm reporting in EARLY this week. Mostly because I don't have much to report and I probably won't gain more before the weekend.

Painting. Barb knows painting. The scraping of hideous wallpaper. Barb knows that, too. Exhaustion is becoming a fast friend. Did I mention I bought a house? Packing? Cleaning? Moving? Was abducted by a short alien named Habib? (I figure I better line up all my excuses before Ally , Queen of "Don't Zap Me", gets here.)

Writing? Oh. Yeah. That.


Wrote and sent out two batches of humorous cards this week. (20 cards).
Did a daily job search.
Mailed back a contract for accepted work.
Got a MS request from the publisher I sent that languishing book to. (Now all I have to do is find it.)
Um... That's about it. There just aren't enough hours in the day right now. You can zap me now. It might wake me up.

~b

[batyler65]

Oh. And one more thing...

YOU GUYS ROCK!

I'm so glad to see everyone keeping up with their goals and reporting.

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoticonheart.gif
~b

[maestrowork]

Woo hoo... a ms request. I expect to hear more on that, Barb!

[Yeshanu]

Got a MS request from the publisher I sent that languishing book to. (Now all I have to do is find it.)
I'll give you a hint, Barb. It's in a box. Somewhere.

Whaddya mean, that's no help????

Katie, you make me laugh. Okay, I get the hint. This week's task is preparing a useable outline. Next week, I'll hopefully start cranking out the revised text.

As for Ally, I haven't heard from her (doesn't that kid know how to use a phone?) but I'll be bringing her back to civilization (or maybe I'll be taking her away from civilization?) tomorrow night, so y'all better be prepared. She's mighty eager to get her hands on that tazer...

[Kida Adelyne]

Yay! I have the tazer. For a little bit anyway.
Ok, so I guess I do somthing like this:

Hello Weekenders! It's that time again!

:hooray::hooray::hooray:


NOW REPORT!!!
:guns:


I think I can figure out the Tazer. *checks it* hmmmm... how does it-
zzzzzzzzzzaP!
...owwwww. Ok, I officially know how it works.
Ok my report:



Don't forget to pack lots of paper and pens for camp.

Hee...hehe... ummmm, about that... I forgot to bring a pen.:Smack:
So, yay. I deserved that zap I gave myself.

[Kida Adelyne]

(I figure I better line up all my excuses before Ally , Queen of "Don't Zap Me", gets here.)

:wag: I like that title, I think I'll use it.


Ok, I'm unsure about Zapping you. I mean, you are BARB, after all, and zapping you feels like a big taboo. However, you said I could, and It really doesn't look like you wrote that much, so I'm gonna give a teenyweeny baby Zap. Just to wake you up. Because you are the almighty powerful BARB.


*ZZZap*


(awww... isn't the teenyweeny baby Zap adorable! :P)

[Kitahoshi]

Yeah, I was randomly taken from my home for a few weeks and haven't been in to report. Right now I'm working on a comic book (writing and drawing, not reading) so that is how I did. I've almost got the plot clear to the reader. Now I'll be gone for another week since I'm going to be kidnapped by a friend and brought to Avril's hometown. *bows*

And thus I have posted after receiving menacing phone calls from the tazer wielding creature. Bwahahahahahaha! *disappears in purple smoke before appearing fast asleep on Ally's floor*

[Unique]

I know how much you were looking forward to using the taser; I'm sorry - I haven't written one cotton pickin' word. Not *O* N *E*. Entirely too depressed. I won't write when I get like that . . . who wants to re-read dreck? Not I.

They say bad luck comes in threes....not here; it comes in multiples of three. By my calculations 3³ with no end in sight.

But one of my poems is going to be read on a local radio station - go figure. Maybe there are people out there who like dreck.:Shrug:

[ChunkyC]

Weekly column: writing it as we speak

New novel: only about 500 new words this week in the story itself, but about 2000 in outline, character bios, backstory, etc.

[maestrowork]

Wrote that darn column. Then didn't work on anything for days, then moved forward with one scene (trying a new technique...) then having kind of a break-through today, having figured out, for the first time, how I may want the ending to be... Oooh, I am so psyched. For a long time, I had no friggin' idea how to end this book. But now I seem to know where my destination is -- at least without a hundred miles or so -- and it's a relief. Now I can take all the detour I want but I still have an end goal in mind -- that means a lot to me as a control freak with a God-complex...

OK.... where was I? Oh, and I updated my site with a new poem. That's about it.

[Kida Adelyne]

I know how much you were looking forward to using the taser; I'm sorry - I haven't written one cotton pickin' word. Not *O* N *E*.

Bad Unique. *poke* And I was really looking forward to giving you a zap. *tisk* This is usually where Barb gives her rant about writing for ten minutes a day, even if it is going to end up on the dung heap later. Come on! You can do it!

[Kida Adelyne]

Good job Chunky. 2000 words in outline and stuff? Sounds like you need a star or a smilie of some sorts.

http://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gifhttp://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gifhttp://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gif

Keep it up!

[Kida Adelyne]

Ray: break-throughs are good. At least I think they are. :tongue
Does this mean you're going to write a whole bunch for next week?
Here's a daisy for you:
http://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gif

[Kida Adelyne]

*poke* Wake up you lout and give me 500 words. I won't tazer you, since this is a comic that I have been bugging you to do occasionally, but no daisy either.

[triceretops]

On the third revision--for the last week edited about 350 pages--added about 700 words--took out about 1200. Sorry, nothing knew. Must finish this book at flank speed cause I've got requests for the full. Driving me crazy.

Tri

[Kida Adelyne]

350 pages of editing? :eek: I think that's impressive enough for a daisy or two.

http://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gifhttp://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gif

You are my Idol for editing.:Hail: Don't forget to take a few pit stops while driving to crazy. :)

[katiemac]

I might as well report now, because there's no way the writing is happening tonight. Which is unfortunate, really, because I was coming out on top. I have close to 9,000 words for the week.

Feeling sort of guilty because I skipped writing Wednesday (can't remember why), last night (I caved and read Harry Potter instead), and now again tonight as I've finished said book and it currently resides in my freezer where it belongs. (A Friends reference. It's not actually in the freezer. There's not any room.)

Sigh.

[Birol]

(I caved and read Harry Potter instead)

*grumble*

[maestrowork]

I've finished said book and it currently resides in my freezer where it belongs.

So tell us what happens and how it ends.... (hi Birol!!) ;)

[MacAllister]

I've updated BOTH blogs, and managed to trudge through about 25 pages of rewrite.

Looking back at the pages I've edited--it rather looks as if there's more red "track changes" text than actual original text...

[Yeshanu]

First, my report:

The so-called Queen of Don't Zap Me is mad 'cause she doesn't get to zap her mom this week. I worked on the outline like I said I would. I figured out that my problems with the second draft are kind of like the problems I have when I leave all my knitting wool in a box and the cats get at it -- everything's all tangled up. Fortunately, I love untangling things. Hope to finish said outline this week, and get on with the new text. Hang in there, Katie.

Now for what Ally's up to:

She is, as she said, away at camp. She did try to get on the boards last night to hand out daisies and zaps, but the boards were down. She's going to try and get on tomorrow night, and if she can't, she promised the evil mom creature could step in for her...

(That being said, I hope the board is up and she gets on tomorrow, because I'm going to start an EXTRA SPECIAL THREAD just for her... :) Stay tuned, folks!)

[Birol]

Subbed 3 pieces to 2 different markets
Cleaned out my e-mail
Did market research
Conducted research for TBWN
Wrote 2600 words for TBWN
Deleted 5200 words for TBWN (none of the words were the words written above)
Did some outlining for TBWN

[Cate]

Arg! Crazy week!
Editor contacted me about doing an article which I started and am getting quotes for.
Worked on another article and sent it off.
Did some edits for an article that an editor sent.
Followed up on a million queries.
Did 3 CD reviews and 2 band bios.
Think that is it
Ug!

[Yeshanu]

Just an update:

Haven't heard from Ally yet, but I'm not really expecting to until this evening.

Here's her EXTRA SPECIAL THREAD that I promised:

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=274402#post274402

[Natalia]

What's with AW? I was unable to connect all weekend and yesterday.

Anywho... am I too late to report?

I am past the 46K mark on my MS.
I edited a short story.
I critique a friend's synopsis.
I prepared 15 submissions.
I got an acceptance for an essay in a magazine in the UK.

My goals are to finish two shorts that I have been delaying :( I have just not been able to look at them with fresh eyes. Also, looking at that 50K mark longingly.

That's me...

[Unique]

Unique -- 7/22 -- watch out for this week folks. I can smell burnt hair already.

I http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoticonheart.gif WPR

~b

Since the boards were acting up, don't you figure any reports up til Wed. 7/20 should be Ally's?

[Birol]

You put the call out on 7/22 and zap whoever the spirit moves you until the next person in line snatches the taser from you. ;)

[Yeshanu]

Ally gets home from camp tomorrow, Unique, so don't worry. We'll get that taser to you before you have to zap anyone.

I'll finish off this week's reports for Ally in the meantime. Maybe if Barb is out of action for longer than she has volunteers, Ally can do another week (as long as it isn't the same week as her next music camp...)

Katie:

Only 9,000 words? Sheesh. http://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gif http://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gif http://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gif

As for reading Harry Potter before me.... (grumble, grumble... Why'd that kid have to take the taser to camp?) It just isn't fair. I went out first thing Saturday morning and bought two copies for our family, and I just started it yesterday. Should be finished by this evening, though...

Mac:

25 pages of rewrites? http://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gif http://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gif http://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gif and ((((Hugs))))

Keep it up and that novel will be done in no time.


Lori:

Quit trying to make the rest of us look bad, okay? http://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gif http://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gif http://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gif


Cate:

Ug! Is right. You done good, girl! Tell us how those million queries pan out.

http://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gif http://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gif http://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gif

Natalia:

15 Submissions? You rock! (Keep us posted...) http://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gif http://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gif http://www.fanforum.com/images/smilies/daisy.gif

If it will help, know that a smilie partie awaits you at 50k. Keep going!

That's it for this week, folks. Next up to bat, Unique.

[msQTpi]

OK...finally!!!

I wasn't able to get in last week. Something must be wrong with the site, or maybe it just doesn't like me...LOL

I have been, writing at least 500 words a day, marketing the e-zine like a mad woman ( first issue scheduled to be sent out next Wed. You can sign up for it at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TRAILER_PARK_GAZETTE/ (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TRAILER_PARK_GAZETTE/):poke: ) editing stories for future issues, critting work for friends, and reading everything I can about the biz.

On the personal side (yes I do still have a life) my husband is doing very well with his smoking and diet and we just found out today that our grandbaby will be a boy.

Oh yea...I am also hand raising an abandoned kitten.

On the down side...I need a freaking shower! :eek:

Renee'

[triceretops]

I best check in early--for the past 48 hours I haven't had internet, until I got the bright idea to jiggle wires, hit a reset, then do a cold boot. Walah! Talk about having my guts knot up like a mangrove. Geez...

Finished that damn third rewrite three days ago, threw caution to the wind (and my sanity), and submitted the two full manuscripts--I have a feeling I'm going to regret this, but I had to throw that baby out there. So it's done, and I can't recall it.

Yesterday and today, got 6,500 words on a brand new sci-fi/adventure series called Planet Janitor--Custodian of the Stars. So here I go again on another marathon. I even like this script better than the first. So far, it's one of those "writing itself" books, but I'm sure I'll hit a wall somewhere. I've definitely improved my writing technique and, especially, my characterization.
So I'm hell-bent for a another record-breaking three months. I hope I survive this one. Can't wait to get into the stars...

Tri

[Unique]

Let's see...what did those guys leave me in this bag, anyway? Oh, hey - there's some good stuff in here. Wanna see?
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/Emotesnoopy.gif :) :kiss: :Jump: :Trophy: :thankyou: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/EmoteSun.gifhttp://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifThese are for the WPR members who have met (or even tried to meet) their goals this week.
rattle-rattle-rattle. Hmm...there's more stuff in this bag. Oh, looky -look...here's the bad stuff.

One slightly depleted taser (snif) Not much charge left in it but I might get a poke or two for personal use out of it. What else? Hmm. Flamethrower. That's nice.http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/sarge/Torch_anim.gif
One Rock-em-Sock-em Robot on steroids... that might work on a few of our more 'non-violent' members.:box:

http://www.state.ar.us/doc/images/gal26_sm.jpgHey, Look! It's Old Sparky! Nothing lights up the night sky like brains getting fried. (Good thing I called CP&L for a heads up this week. heh heh - I might be needing the extra juice.)

http://www.state.ar.us/doc/images/gal28_sm.jpg I hope Liam doesn't mind that I 'borrowed' his Tucker phone. It just puts off such lovely colors when the vic- I mean, ahem, un-named person is standing in the water when it's fired up.

And I do sincerely hope no one has been really, really bad this week because there's this -













http://pages.prodigy.net/rogerlori1/emoticons/fatguy1.JPG Don't look! You'll go blind!!

[Kida Adelyne]

*skirts around Unique as she comes in*

I pity those who haven't written this week like *cou-mum-ough*

I however did do a bit of writing. Mostly 'cus I finished The Book on monday, and only had two other very short books to read, so I was forced to resort to writing to keep me occupied.
So this week i wrote:

-part of a kids story. bout 2 pages, hand writen so far.
-worked on rewriting chapter 2, and completely rewrote chapter 3. No I need to retype ch. 3 so I can send it off to my writing buddy.

I also read a book called "self editing for fiction writers" Giving some helpful pointers. I still need to steal the writing book that had helped the mother creature (suposedly) start work on rewriting her novel.

*hugs* Ally

[Natalia]

Ick... let's see...

First of all... I am sick...and I am groggy and disconnected due to medication.
Other than that:

-Wrote a new scene for "Reckless"
-Edited article "Generation WhYne"... slowly getting there.
-Edited "The Ward" and I think I am one revision away from final draft and sub.
-Edited "Boxing up Martin" and ditto on above.
-Started reading Kite Runner which is the book I am having my comp students read for the semester.
-Compiled a reading list for my dissertation committee to approve.
-Dean approved my dissertation committee.

Goals-

Need to grab one of the short stories by the horns and finish it, polish it and sub it. Ditto on one of the articles I am working on. Also, I am, for some reason, avoiding writing certain difficult scenes in my novel. Need to get over that hump.

That's all folks... is it my turn next week? Or am I just salivating with anticipation? hehe

[Birol]

The Rotation (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=232891&postcount=1193)

[Unique]

Ahh, now - here I thought you were giving your report. What's that? 'Nya, nya, made you look:wag: . Tsk, tsk. That's ok, Sunday afternoon is coming 'round the bend.....

[ChunkyC]

Been doin' most of my writing in my head this week. I'm letting Home & Away simmer, 'coz I really need to get the background info straight before I push any further. My hero is going to enter a world hitherto unknown to him, and up 'til now only known to me in general terms. I need to nail down the specifics so he'll experience something interesting to the reader when he goes through that door. (I'm constructing a religious order with all the trappings, including a fanatical sub-group -- lotsa fun!)

Wrote & filed my column.

Had an idea for a short story for Renee's e-zine. Gonna wrestle with it tomorrow morning. Yes, mobile homes will figure prominently in it. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[msQTpi]

Had an idea for a short story for Renee's e-zine. Gonna wrestle with it tomorrow morning. Yes, mobile homes will figure prominently in it. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

Wonderful! I'm looking forward to your sub :Jump:

Renee'

to subscribe: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TRAILER_PARK_GAZETTE/join (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TRAILER_PARK_GAZETTE/join)

[ChunkyC]

Done and sent, Renee. 460 words. That oughta help keep me from getting zapped!

[Unique]

Don’t worry about not being able to log in last week – nobody else could either. It was one of those ‘techy’ strange malfunctions that seems to be fixed. Some folks actually used the down time to write words that weren’t posts. It looks like you did, too – Bravo!



500 words a day might not seem like a lot of words, but they are consistent words so here are http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/EmoteSun.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/EmoteSun.gif two more sunny days of writing to add to your collection.



Marketing isn’t as easy as some people believe; in fact, it’s an important part of writing that is often overlooked, but vital if you want your words to sell. Here’s a little momentum to help you keep after this aspect. .:Jump:



You have a life? Lucky you. Be thankful I’m not the jealous type. I also love cats so that’s worth two brownie points in itself. Sorry I don’t have any cyber brownies for you – but you’re a writer so use your imagination. Yummy.



Congratulations on the grandbaby! Sorry about the lack of indoor plumbing – maybe it will rain soon. ( You must have been writing up a storm if it caused you to need a shower – maybe the ezine will pay off and you can have it installed. It’s nice – trust me.)



Over all – two *gold stars* & one happy dance. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/Emotesnoopy.gif

[Unique]

Your writing is so prodigious I don’t know what to make of it. Are there any days in the week when you don’t write? You amaze me. Does anyone ever get to zap you?

Here’s a little >>zzzztt<< because ‘Walah’ is actually Voila`; or so I’ve been told. At the rate you’re going – that’s the only way we’ll be able to zap you.

Rewriting is still writing. From what I understand it’s also a more painful type of writing so here’s a little sugar for doing it twice :kiss:

If I’m not mistaken, you’ve posted a little of Planet Janitor in SYW; I haven’t had a chance to read it, but I’ll get to it. SF/F isn’t my preferred genre, but I’ve read your work before so I’m looking forward to it.


What else can I say? You’re on a roll so keep on rolling!! You’re headed for this - :Trophy: As far as I'm concerned - you can have as many *gold stars* as you like. (See, I'm not as mean as everyone thinks I am. <G>)(But don't tell!)

[Unique]

Do you actually think I’d zap you into a crispy critter? If I did that, I wouldn’t get to see you and Kita play ‘Ride the Monkey’.



Reading is a good procrastination tool to avoid writing. (Trust me, I know this.)

However, since you were at camp, I’ll let you slide a bit – but only a bit. Here’s a bit of ‘heat for the seat’ http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/sarge/Torch_anim.gif for motivation. Don’t worry, it’s set on low.

I also know that having that many young people in a setting like camp, somebody did something off the hook. How about a little story in SYW to remind us 'old folks' what it’s like to be young? :idea: Sound fair?



Here’s a cyber hug just for being you (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/misc.php?do=getsmilies&wysiwyg=1&forumid=0#):Hug2: and *one gold star* to stick on your instrument case for a reminder. (You'll remember I went easy when it's your turn again, right?)

[Birol]

Still plodding along in TBWN:


Deleted 743 words that I wrote last week.
Wrote 2003 new words.
Reworked two scenes (totaling 3677 words)
Made notes on the scene I'm reworking next.
In non-TBWN news:

Subbed one short story.
Did market research for another short story.
Reviewed market newsletters for new opportunities.
Think I'll go order a pizza now and work some more on TBWN.

[katiemac]

10,000 words. Crossed the 50,000 mark on the draft this week, which is good news because I've managed to add some new scenes and change items around. The first draft clocked in at under 70,000 and this one looking like it might finally hit the 95,000 mark.

[Unique]

I’m sorry you haven’t been feeling well. Being sick in the summer is a bummer. It is summer where you are, isn’t it?http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/EmoteSun.gif


Reading Kite Runner is probably a good idea. It’s always a good idea to know what the story is about if you’re assigning it to students. How else are you going to know if they’ve read it if you haven’t read it? The crafty buggers would cobble together their own Cliff Notes and you’d never be the wiser…(well, the ones I went to school with would have.)


All of the titles you have been editing sound interesting. Are those the stories you want to use for your Goals? ‘Boxing up Martin’ sounds intriguing. Is it horror? Pick the one you think you have a market for and do that one first – even if it isn’t your favorite.


I understand dissertations are a lot of work. Does this mean you’ll be going MIA again? I hope not. Good luck with it. I’m sure we’ll be proud of you when it’s over.


Even if you didn’t do a lot of *new* writing, it sounds like you’ve been busy so have a couple (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/misc.php?do=getsmilies&wysiwyg=1&forumid=0#):banana: :banana: cyber bananas to keep you motivated. The potassium in them is good for you. And get well soon.

[Unique]

CC, tsk, tsk.

Slid in under the wire with that article for Renee`- - I can't say I blame you much - I do a lot of *writing* in my head too. The problem is finding the opportunity to get back into the "Zone". Are you at least making notes or doing an outline for yourself? The *good stuff* has a way of disappearing when you don't write it down.

So,
* your column (which I presume you had to write anyway) and
* the trailer story for Renee

Not as much as we've come to expect from you. . . but it's not nothing neither (three negatives make it positive, right?) So how about we :box: mix it up :box: a little just to get you back on track.

And one cyber hug:Hug2: just in case you're the type who responds better to positive motivation. (Now get back to work!)

[Unique]

One day I’m going to ask you what TBWN stands for. What does TBWN stand for?



2003 – 743 = net gain of 1260 words. That’s good. Be careful with that *delete* key. I did that this week and I’m still regretting it.

3677 different words. Impressive. http://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gifKeep up the good work. http://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gif

Market research is good. Good marketing is even better. Don’t neglect selling yourself when you put your work out there. Toot your own horn. Don’t be modest about your talent. If you can’t bring yourself to do it – get someone to help. (Blah, blah…am I preaching to the choir?)

Share that pizza with me and I’ll give you extra smileys - http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/EmoteSun.gifI love pizza.

[Unique]

10,000 words!?! >Woot< I should have borrowed VoteBot’s K-Mart Special Light!!

Tremendous! What got you so inspired? What ever it was - - do it again! (And again, and again, and again…you know the drill)



Here are some friends to keep you company while you celebrate http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/Emotesnoopy.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/Emotesnoopy.gif

[Unique]

Did I miss anyone? The - ah - late to report?....no worries. Bud & Sparky are still around. They'll take your reports.

[Birol]

One day I’m going to ask you what TBWN stands for. What does TBWN stand for?

The Badly Written Novel


It's a working title.

[Unique]

The Badly Written Novel



It's a working title.





Gawd! I hope so. Unless you're planning to publish with PA.:ROFL:

[Birol]

Publish with PA? Hey, that's an idea! Thanks for the suggestion, Unique.:ROFL:

[msQTpi]

Done and sent, Renee. 460 words. That oughta help keep me from getting zapped!

Thanks Charlie!

[msQTpi]

Sorry about the lack of indoor plumbing – maybe it will rain soon. ( You must have been writing up a storm if it caused you to need a shower – maybe the ezine will pay off and you can have it installed. It’s nice – trust me.)



Over all – two *gold stars* & one happy dance. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/Emotesnoopy.gif


LOL...It wasn't a lack of plumbing...but time. I had been at the computer all day when I wrote that...and meant to say I was heading to the shower, POST HASTE! :eek:

Ha ha too funny!

Renee'

[allenparker]

Sorta slow writing week. About 2000 words in my Biblio Hero book.

Re-edit from Beta group responses of 50,000 words.

Bundled a request for full manuscript of NGYG.

Laid on couch as sucked down fruit jars full of headache relief.

Captain Kangaroo was never so much fun.

Allen

[Unique]

How was the weekend?

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/EmoteSun.gif2000 words is good. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/EmoteSun.gif (What's a bibliohero? A book loving hero?) Interesting concept. I'll have to think about that.

Beta group - plural? Read all 50,000 words? I should have such friends! http://www.quillicreality.com/smilies/sunny.gif

I'd really like to hear about this fruit jar medicine. Our fruit jar medicine gives us headaches; it doesn't take them away. What's in that jar, anyway? Do you have a recipe for that? pssst....that counts as writing if you post the recipe here.

Captain Kangaroo was my hero. I hope you were watching the original. Are you feeling better now? Ready for another 2,000 words? Ok - it's a new week - put down that fruit jar and start writing. pssst...if you still can't make it off the couch, you might be able to wow Nita with a couple of parodies of Cpt. Kangaroo. (I've heard she has a sense of humor.) <wink>

[batyler65]

Um... what day is it?

I'm in H-E-double hockeysticks.

There are boxes here.

Lots and lots of boxes.

I wrote on the boxes, does that count?

Barb

[allenparker]

I'd really like to hear about this fruit jar medicine. Our fruit jar medicine gives us headaches; it doesn't take them away. What's in that jar, anyway? Do you have a recipe for that? pssst....that counts as writing if you post the recipe here.

It's a old family recipe. I could tell you, but then I'd have to make you drink several jars full. That would ..., well you know. It's not meant for flatlanders, Yankees, or people of ill repute.

Could I just send you a jar or two and let you try it first?

allen

[Unique]

Um... what day is it?

I wrote on the boxes, does that count?

Barb

Only if you tell us about it in SYW - - -

(JK - You are the Mistress of the Extreme Taser - I'm not getting on your bad side.)

[Unique]

It's a old family recipe. I could tell you, but then I'd have to make you drink several jars full. That would ..., well you know. It's not meant for flatlanders, Yankees, or people of ill repute.

Could I just send you a jar or two and let you try it first? *Yes*

allen

Geez - I am least partially *all the above*. Should the neighbors lock their doors?

[vetskone]

People keep telling me I should write. *I* keep telling me I should write. I do, but it never goes anywhere.
:sleepy:
I try to write dialogue and my flat, cardboard-y characters end up having inane stiff exchanges which would inspire/interest absolutely no-one.
:Shrug:I need some feedback, and I suspect my mother may be slightly too biased to be objective!

Help! :eek: :Headbang:

[Kida Adelyne]

:welcome:

This particular thread is geared towards making us not slack. Barb (batyler65) is in charch here, but she's currently taking a break. If you join in reporting on the weekend (which I highly recomend) then I *think* It's Nita who will be wielding the infamous tazer. Basically if you wrote (or have a very good excuse) you don't get tazered, if you didn't- well, let's just assume you're gonna write, k?;)

If you need feedback, Share Your Work is an excellent thread for feed back (the people here are really good at it) and there are many many threads that can offer advice, and if you can't find you're answer, ask a question.

Welcome again!

-Ally

[ChunkyC]

Hiya, vetskone!

Ally has it pretty much summed up. About the only thing she didn't mention is that valiant attempts at gut-busting humour go a long way toward tazer-avoidance, but should not be considered a cure-all. They who wield the tazer are all-powerful in this regard.

[msQTpi]

The first issue of the Trailer Park Gazette went out today as scheduled!

Thanks Everyone :kiss: :partyguy: :TheWave:


Renee'

[Kida Adelyne]

http://www.lachmeister.de/images/smilies/Party/party_18.gifhttp://www.lachmeister.de/images/smilies/Party/party_18.gifhttp://www.lachmeister.de/images/smilies/Party/party_18.gifhttp://www.lachmeister.de/images/smilies/Party/party_18.gifhttp://www.lachmeister.de/images/smilies/Party/party_18.gif
WHOOT!!!
http://www.lachmeister.de/images/smilies/Party/party_02.gif
Congrats Renee'!!!
http://www.lachmeister.de/images/smilies/Party/party_29.gif

[ChunkyC]

More w00t-age!!

Got my copy! Congrats Renee! Pretty darn funny!

PS -- I'm listed as a 'contributing author' for the Ivy Lee Q&A bit ... think I'm gonna cry. Thanks, Renee!

[Birol]

Congrats, Renee'!!!!

:TheWave::TheWave:

[maestrowork]

The first issue of the Trailer Park Gazette went out today as scheduled!

Thanks Everyone :kiss: :partyguy: :TheWave:


Renee'

Where's my copy? ;)

[msQTpi]

Where's my copy? ;)

Did you subscribe? :confused:

[msQTpi]

Thanks everyone! :kiss:

[msQTpi]

More w00t-age!!

Got my copy! Congrats Renee! Pretty darn funny!

PS -- I'm listed as a 'contributing author' for the Ivy Lee Q&A bit ... think I'm gonna cry. Thanks, Renee!

I'm so glad you liked it. You are very Welcome!

[Birol]

ERROR DETECTED.
LATHER RINSE REPEAT CYCLE INTERRUPTED.
FAILSAFE ACTIVATED.


Lori looked up from her monitor as the voice boomed out all around her. The air shimmered. It turned pastel pink. Then light blue. Then a purple that wasn't quite lavender. Then black. Her body was pulled out of her desk chair. For an instant, she felt insubstantial, then she was deposited onto something hard and rough. There were thumps as others landed nearby.

"What the…"

"Hey, I was just…"

"Oh, Susannah, don't you cry for me…"

"Ohmigawd. Alien abduction!"

"Blind monkeys!"

Lori picked herself up painfully and looked about. Next to her, other surprised and startled Weekenders were doing the same.

"Where are we?" She wasn't certain who asked the question. It was difficult to identify voices when you were used to just reading text.

She spotted a pair she recognized. "Mac? Cate?"

"Lori?" They said in unison.

She nodded. The others were dressed as if they were in a B-grade swashbuckler flick. Rapiers and black powder pistols hung at their sides. She glanced down. She was similarly attired. The ground beneath her feet moved and she looked around. They were on an old wooden sailing vessel. The air around them was lit by a gibbous moon, a swath of stars, and candles set in tin lanterns. Sails snapped in the wind.

Charlie groaned. He was holding a bright yellow rubber duck. "Not again. I thought Barb wasn't wielding the taser this summer?"

"Not what?" A man none of them recognized asked. He looked as if he couldn't decide to be frightened or excited.

"Who are you?" Lori asked.

Katie Mac snapped her fingers. "He must be Allen. He's never done this before."

"Done what?" The man they assumed to be Allen asked.

"We're pirates." Ally clapped her hands and bounced up and down on the balls of her feet. "This'll be better than the time I got to be Little Red Riding Hood."

Next to her, Kita giggled and started for the rigging leading to the crow's nest. "I'll be the lookout."

"Who are you people?" Allen asked again.

"We're you're fellow Weekenders," Lori told him as she gestured about the group. "Welcome to Barb's imagination."

"Barb does this to us sometimes," Charlie explained as he gave his rubber ducky a squeeze. "She sticks us in a story. We all write part of it."

"You just have to include your report in your part," Katie Mac added. "Can I be in charge of the cannons?"

Allen grinned. "Sounds like fun."

"Lori usually ends up under a table." Mac's voice was muffled. She was lying face down on the deck with her head inside a small hatch. Wires stuck out all around her.

"Mac," Renée asked, "what are you doing?"

"Barb's not here." Natalia looked around as she used a quill pen to check names off a scroll she held in her hands. "I can't find Nita either. Wasn't she supposed to have the taser this week?"

"I'd just finished reading a PM from Nita when that voice boomed out. She's having internet probs," Lori answered.

Ray edged nearer to Mac to peer over her shoulder. He repeated Renée's question, "Mac, what are you doing?"

"Failsafe. The voice said 'failsafe'," Triceratops mused. "Barb must've programmed something in so if the taser-wielder missed their week, we still have to report."

"And this is the control panel," Mac said as pulled a dagger out of her belt and started using it as a combination screw driver/wire cutter.

"You think you can get us out of here?" Unique stood at the ship's wheel, looking as if she wanted to give it a big spin.

"Without reporting?" Ruth sounded hopeful.

"Maybe. Just give me a sec." As she spoke, MacAllister used her dagger to trim the insulation from three loose wires. She hesitated, as if thinking, then dropped one and twisted the other two together. She howled as sparks and smoke filled the air. When the air cleared….

[maestrowork]

Did you subscribe? :confused:

I believe so... I subscribed to the yahoo group...

[ChunkyC]

When the air cleared….

...Charlie was sitting in the crow's nest next to Kita.

"Come here often?" he said, eyebrows dancing. http://bestsmileys.com/misbehaving/10.gif

"Keep your hands on your keyboard, not-so-chunky-anymore-guy," she fired back, like a warning shot across his bow. "Hey, Lori said this was a b-movie," she added, "so don't poo-poo the cheezy dialogue tags."

"Speaking of dialogue," Mac expostulated as Ray valiantly tried to put out the fire in her hair like a hyperactive bongo player, "what cheezy movie are you gonna review this week, Charlie?"

"Stealth. Can you believe Jamie Foxx went from Ray to this clunker? I'm gonna be hard pressed to find five hundred words to describe it."

"Any other writing?" Allen interjected.

"Er ... not really," Charlie elocuted, "You see, I've been preoccupied with this other job I applied for, which I never got called in for an interview for--"

zzzzzzzzzzzzzt!

"That's for not writing in HOME AND AWAY this past week, and for that horrible sentence you just typed," Lori expounded with glee-like tones.

At that precise moment, the ship lurched and everyone flew and bounced around the deck like on one of those Star Trek episodes....

[Kitahoshi]

Kita hopped up and down in the crow's nest before realizing that she had an amber coloured telescope in her belt. Her weapon appeared to be nothing more than a hollow gun which suddenly turned into a mini cat with wings which landed on her shoulder. It meowed softly as she stared at it.

"It's so cute..." she said, almost trancelike before giggling and petting it's small head. "Hey Ally, look! I do have flying cats! Who needs flying monkeys when-"

"Just cut to the chase, missy." Ally responded sharply from below. "You haven't written anything this week, have you?". Ally seemed disappointed for the split second that Kita wasn't answering. She seemed to be counting on her fingers.

"Well, I finished two pages of that comic I'm working on. I finally got to do some really funny expressions." Kita responded before hiding behind Charlie. The ship lurched again with a sickening creak. She remembered her job and pulled out the telescope.

"It appears there is an enemy ship attacking. I guess we better man the battlestations or something like that." Kita ssaid loudly so that it was heard below.

[scfirenice]

Chunky,
Love the dialogue. excellent...really.
S

[MacAllister]

"Quick!" Mac shouted, "Dip up kegs of seawater! I have an idea!"

"Seawater?" Renee grumbled, "But..."

Just then cannons boomed on the attacking ship and smoke and debris rained down on our besieged protagonists.

"She can't take much more o' this, Cap'n!" bellowed Allen, holding tight to the railing of the poop deck against the alarming shudders wracking the vessel.

"Buckets! Everyone dip seawater!" Lori bellowed, "I dunno what Mac's thinking, but it's gotta be better than nothing!"

"Errr--the seawater will come to us, if we take too many more hits like that last," Ray pointed out.

Kita fired her pistol wildly in the air, narrowly missing her flying cat, which clung to her, hissing and spitting its alarm.

"We're going to use the kegs of water to build saltwater batteries," Mac moved down the line of sloshing kegs, pouring in vinegar from the galley, and a splash of bleach from the laundry, "Everyone, I need your copper bangles, and someone find me some aluminum or iron!"

"Um, you're making giant batteries, Mac?" Ruth asked, shucking several copper bracelets, "What precisely are we supposed to do with a giant multi-celled battery? The other ship is shooting a cannon at us!"

"Cannon, schmannon! We're gonna fire up Lori's laptop to control the taser I've had Ally rewire, thereby buiding a powerful energy weapon."

"OOoooh! NEAT!" Lori said, "Can I have a turn with it?"

Natalia peered through the smoke-fogged air between the vessels, "ummm...hang on a sec..."

"What?" Mac barely looked up as she ran from keg to keg, unspooling a coil of wire she'd conveniently discovered in the hold of the ship.

"I think that's Barb, over there--wearing the giant purple Captain-Hook pirate hat with the Ostrich plume...And isn't that Unique, standing next to her?"

Mac stopped and looked up. "Oh crap. Natalia's right! Faster, everyone! Faster! I need more seawater! I need more copper bangles! I haven't written a damn thing besides the blog all week!"

Charlie squinted through the smoke and gave a delicate cough and waved his hand to try and clear the air around his face, "Kita?" He called up to the crow'snest, "Can you get their attention? Can you at least see who is still firing the damn cannon?"

"Oh mygosh! It looks like...like..."

[Unique]

....Unique!"

"Take that ye scurvy dogs! Try to hide when it's MY week with the taser - take that!" >Boom< >Boom< >Boom< The cannon fired in quick succession.

"What is that she's firing at us? Kita cried. "It doesn't look like a cannonball. It looks like...

"Paper! Reams and reams of paper! Duck, everyone!" Mac hit the deck prostrate. Lori and Ray flopped down beside her.

"Why is she shooting paper?" Lori hollered.

Kita called down from the crow's nest, "Incoming!" >Boom<. Another ream of paper hit the deck. It blew apart on impact and covered the cowering trio with bits of confetti and the odd full size sheet.

"Hey, look at this. This page has writing on it." Lori pulled a sheet of 20 lb bond off her face and held it out to Ray. "What does it say, Maestro?"

"It says, 'To Whom It May Concern' 'Admit now that you are first class slackers and commence posting one funny story apiece in SYW and you will be spared the full measure of the 'Wrath of Barb'. Resist at your peril.'"

"What should we do, guys? Do you think we ought to vote..."

Chuck slid down the manila rope from the crow's nest and landed lightly next to the others. "Vote? You can't vote without....

[maestrowork]

"Ray's brain is not in this week, please leave it a message."

Beep...

[ChunkyC]

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/EmoteROFL.gif@ Ray

[triceretops]

...without Triceratops, who was standing on the prow of the ship, the safest place aboard, since there were cannons to the left of us, cannons to the right of us, cannons...wait, that's another story. It was confusion--someone was crowing from the nest--there was a injured broad on the beam--somebody stepped high in the poop and slipped on the deck, and as he looked up into the rigging Tri could see problems with the mainsail.

What's the prob with the sail?" asked Chunky.

"It's rip-torn," said Tri.

"In that case," said Chunky, "I'll have to interview him but I've got a Stealth issue right now.

"You can say that again," said Mac again, over and over again--(she said it several times) "Because that fricken friggate is going to sink us with those strong and potent shots."

"I'll drink to that," said Birol, who was busy running amok looking for a rum keg.

"It's a unique situation," said Barb.

"I've got my my hands full, thank you very much," said Unique.

Meanwhile Ray was running about looking for the makeup girl because he thought it was a scene straight out of Master & Commander II, the remake, and he didn't really need any makeup cause' he was just after the makeup girl.

But the whole crew looked at Tri and sang out, (they could sing cause they just finished 15 men on a dead man's something) "What the heck you doing up there on the prowl?"

"I've just hit a 3800 word wall, er, reef, I mean." So Tri wrapped the anchor chain around his neck and threw himself into the salty brine. And as the bubbles came popping up from the surface they began to speak:

One bubble said, "45 submissions..." another bubble popped, "21 answers" and another series of bubbles said, "Four okays for two partials and two wholes."

Suddenly Kida yelled out, "I think we're taking on water!"

Now we were listing to port and would need the help of...........

[katiemac]

Now we were listing to port and would need the help of...

Katie Mac. Not because she had spectacular boating skills, but rather she was continually blowing holes into the ship with their own cannons.

Unaware of the mechanics of actually shooting such weapons, Katie Mac took to lighting the air around the cannon with her flame thrower until something caught fire and, subsequently, exploded.

"Nobody objected when I said I wanted to be in charge of the cannons," she yelled, sticking her fingers in her ears as the cannon exploded behind her. "I don't see how you could possibly be blaming me for this."

In truth, Katie Mac was hoping to disract everyone with enough mayhem so she wouldn't have to report her abysmal progress.

"I don't know how to aim!" she cried as everyone stopped what they were doing to glare reproachfully. "It's extrememly difficult with - this - damned - eye - patch!" She stuggled with the black strap around her head, then threw it to the ground and stomped on it. "Positively no depth perception. There, that's much better."

Katie Mac glanced up hopefully, but everyone recoiled at the sight of her face.

"Eew," said Kida, her mouth twisted in disgust.

"Much worse than my eyebrow mishap," Chunk said conversationally to Lori, who nodded.

"Uh, is that n-normal?" Allen slapped a palm over his own eye.

"What?" Katie Mac set her hands on her hips, demanding explanation, but caught her own reflection in the gleaming cannon. "Oh, that's not pretty, is it?"

The eye patch, apparently, had been covering an empty socket. "BARB!" she shrieked. "Barb! What happened to my eye?"

"I suspect," Lori said, heaving a bucket of water over the side, "it'll reappear once we get out of this place. And the sooner you report, the sooner we'll all be free."

But Katie Mac wasn't listening, still starting at her reflection. "I wonder what happens if I poke it...?"

"REPORT!" Unique's cry resounded from the left.

Another cannon shot drowned out anything Katie Mac had to say, which was just fine in her opinion. She tried again -- BANG -- and was cut off.

"Are you saying," said Ruth, "that you wrote nothing? After that all that pressure you put on me, you wrote nothing?"

Katie Mac sighed. "Ar," she said. "And I thought being a pirate would be a heck of a lot cooler."

She eyed Mac enviously as the latter took over the cannons and she was left to with a bucket in her hands to help Lori. "Oh, sure, let her handle the highly dangerous explosives."

...

[Kida Adelyne]

"Yo ho ho, a pirates life for me" Ally sang as she fixed her eye patch. She couldn't see what Katie was complaining about, having wanted one of these things since kindergarden.

She ran topside to see if she could find somthing delightfully pirate-ish to do. She noticed the Crows nest had been vacated, and clambered up there. She looked around, tring to find a place to use her stash of pirate-ish saying (mostly taken from Pirates of the Carribean) Luckily, such and instance was to be found.

"Stop blowing 'oles in my ship!" She shouted at the opposing vessel. Unfortunatly, this drew the attention of Barb and Unique to her.

"Report, or I'll blow a hole in you're head." Hmmmmm, must be the pirate costumes effecting thier temperment.

"Chapter 3 edited and sent to writing buddy. One 200 word section of story updated for a friend and a large amount of online journaling."

"What! That's scarcely any writing at all! When I get my hands on you I'll-" Just what Unique was planning on doing to her was lost in a sudden crack of thunder.

"Storms a comming! Wiegh the sails! Swab the rudder! Man the anchor!" Ally yelled out.

"Your not in charge here! That's the job of Captain..."

[triceretops]

Just hope it isn't Jack Sparrow.

Tri

[Birol]

:ROFL:Gawd, you guys are killin' me. I love it. :ROFL:

[scfirenice]

"Fire and Ice, Fire and Ice, did somebody yell for Fire and Ice....Oh, you said there was a fire BRING some ice. Got it."

SCF ran across the deck, peg leg clattering, to put out the fire.

I'm in no shape to be captain mateys, but I'll swob ye decks for you." she said taking out her mop and sweeping the adverbs out of her way.

"Fire in the hole" Katie yelled as yet another dreaded 'Dear Author' paper landed on SCF's head.

"Yikes that's the third one today." she cried swooning to the deck.

"Stand tall matey!" yelled her parrot, Beta.

More reams of paper flew over the bow.

"Report!" Unique yelled

"Ive rewired the cover letter to gel more with the synopsis and threw all one hundred of the old versions of the query into the furnace to fuel the turbines that ate the rat that worried the cat that lived in the house that Jack built!" SCF shouted above the din of yet another cannon.

"NO PAGES? NO PAGES?" unigue yelled.

"No pages, just edits." I replied insert adverb of choice here.

Another Dear Author dropped to the deck.

"Get below deck," Katie said "We're all cannon fodder up here. Ow, my eye..." she trailed. "We need to find first mate.....

[Birol]

"Oh, I forget the First Mate's name. What's it matter anyway, Barb's closing on us." Katie Mac whined. She stood next to the ship's railing, emptying buckets back into the ocean. "Of all the stuff Mac has built in this story, why hasn't she made us a bilge pump?"

Lori slung the next full bucket towards her, sloshing half the contents back onto the deck. "Good question. Especially from the person who was blowing holes in our own ship just so she didn't have to report."

"It seemed like a good idea at the time."

The ship carrying Barb and Unique was now close enough they could see Barb had replaced her left hand with a shiny, sparking hook. "Report, you scurvy dogs, report."

Unique steered the ship alongside their own. "Prepare to be boarded, you slackers."

"Maybe we should just surrender?" Ray sat cross-legged in the middle of all the activity, chin in his hands.

"Never," Chunky cried and spun the wheel, trying to steer away from Barb and Unique's approaching ship. "We've only begun to fight."

"Wait a minute," Ruth sat the bucket she held down on the deck. "All they want us to do is report, right?"

"We really need to speed up the bailing," Lori said and picked up Ruth's bucket to hand to Katie Mac.

"Who hasn't reported yet?"

"You haven't," Lori said.

"Neither have you," Ray added.

Lori blushed and stepped out of the bailing line. She headed for the main sail. "Maybe if we adjusted the sails we could grab more of the wind and pull ahead."

"Don't you have anything to report?"

Ray raised his head and grinned. "Bet she's been slacking. Slacker bum."

"I have not. I've got stuff to report. Good stuff, too."

"Then why don't you report?"

"Because, it can be… misinterpreted."

"Misinterpreted? What the heck are you talking about, Missy?" Mac paused in the middle of loading a wad of paper into the only surviving cannon.

Lori sighed and knelt on the deck. "Look, I finally finished detangling POV Character #2 and started detangling POV Character #1 by reviewing what I had for her and making notes about what needs to happen." Several people looked as if they were about to interrupt. "I said I wasn't working on them in order. Anyway," she continued, "I wrote just over 2500 words, but I also deleted two scenes I didn't need anymore. Those two scenes were slightly over 3000 words."

"That's a net loss," Ray cried.

"See? That's what I mean. Misinterpreted." Lori took a deep breath and continued. "I also got my pigeon story ready to sub, but I can't mail it out until tomorrow. The guidelines say anything postmarked before August 1st will be rejected and I researched greeting card markets and did a bit of research of TBWN."

Before anyone could add anything else….

[msQTpi]

Trish came out from her hiding space under the lifeboat.

"Please hide me. That crazy woman is gonna kill me! Doesn't she know I need some time off to wash my hair and do up my toe nails?"

Ray, seeing a damsel in distress rushed to the redhead and asked, "Who's bothering you Trish? What's wrong?"

"Renee' of course, she thinks that just because she has this new E-zine thingy I'm supposed to work regular hours. I haven't worked a regular work week in years. This is going to ruin my reputation, not to mention my social life. What will Bud think??"

Ray recoiled away from her and was just about to point and call her a slacker when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw...

[allenparker]

Last week, I wrote an Pulitzer pirze winning novel, about 1.5 million words. All spelledcorrectly and order in the write of.

Played a game of Scrabble with my nieces where I wrote an entire story using th letters received. Very difficult.

Completely revised the menu at the local Italian restaurant. Owner wasn't as happy with the price changes as I had expected.

Oh, and wrote about 1000 letters and spaces in Biblio Heroes. Erased 900 of them, but left the spaces.

<donning his asbestos underwear, our hero runs rapidly away from the forum.>

Allen

[scfirenice]

SCF running...no hopping, with her peg leg over to the rail with a bucket full of soapy adverb laden water.

"Katie, stop blowing holes in this darn ship; I can't keep bailing this fast. Will you people just report so Unique will stop hitting us with both barrels? Who keeps firing the manilla bombs? TRISH stop hiding and worring about your nails and BAIL! Katie, i know you can't aim but TRY!.

Ray ran from beind the mast continuing to yell at everyone to report so the fight could be finished.

"Never," Lori screamed as she brandished a sword that looked rather like a hole punch. She then fired off a stream of small multi-colored circular rounds at Unique.

"Flea bitten dogs," Unique yelled, continuing her assult on the motely crew.

"Well what have you done SCF? What, besides the crazy adverb thingy, have you done?"

Quaking in my boot I repiled," uh...The adverb Thing?"

"Not enough!"

"Well, I got another submission package out and revised my query with the help of Cathy C and a few others."

"Still No new pages?"

"No but...

"You people are going to get us killed," Ray yelled.

"No, we're picking up ground we just need to......"

[Natalia]

Natalia runs into the room gasping for air. It's supposed to be the WEEKEND REPORT....WEEKEND REPORT...not MONDAY REPORT, she thinks as she looks around for signs of taser casualties.

"I'm here," she blurts out in a quivering voice. Then she remembers the flamsthrow...er taser is coming her way next week and regains her composure. "Anyway, my MS is up to 48.5 K. I finished The Kite Runner and am half way through Olivia Joules. I am getting 10 subs ready and I got all my stuff ready (almost) for the classes I am teaching." She looks smug. "What do you think about them apples?"

Something explodes in the distance and she ducks for cover.

[MacAllister]

Finally, seeing the peril faced by our erstwhile heroes and heroines, Barb heaved her ship to, and started plucking the weekenders out of the drink, so's they could all sail off over the horizon, with the sea pounding in perfect counterpoint to the busy clickety-click of everyone's keyboards.

But she makes us row whenever we're becalmed because its the only way to get anywhere, ya know.

The End.


Oooookay, landlubbers! Everyone who actually participated this weekend gets a free taser pass for this week. :) You guys crack me up.

Next weekend, IIRC, Natalia is in charge of the infernal device--so everyone brace yourselves and write your little butts off.

scfirenice--Welcome! You're going to fit right in here. :)

Oh.

One last thing.

Ray?


ZZZZZZZzzzzzzAAAAAAKkkkkkkkkkkjjjjjjj!!!!!!!

Here's hoping for an even better week, these next five days before we meet back here to do it again!

[jdkiggins]

Late, but nothing new to report. I'd be dangerous with a taser at this point anyway. :)

[Natalia]

Do I get to zap JD???:whip:

:hooray::banana::wag: I got the TASER!!!! ZZZZPTTTT hehe... and it is recharged from lack of usage!!!

:welcome: to hell.... write your butts off or else....

:box::guns:don't make me do it... cause I will and I will enjoy it!

Hehehe

[Unique]

:welcome: to hell.... write your butts off or else....

:box::guns:don't make me do it... cause I will and I will enjoy it!

Hehehe


>YIKES!<:scared:


... Tappity, tappity, tap, tap, tap.....faster, fingers...faster, faster - she's got the taser, and it ain't on stun.....Run!..........:snoopy:

[ChunkyC]

Y'know what was really interesting about our little pirate story? Nobody said "yardarm" or "mizzenmast" or "Davy Jones' Locker."

I know, I know. I'm speechless too. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/tongue.gif

PS -- that was fargin' hilarious, gang. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteThumbs.gif

[jdkiggins]

I always miss all the fun! LOL

[triceretops]

Y'know what was really interesting about our little pirate story? Nobody said "yardarm" or "mizzenmast" or "Davy Jones' Locker."

I might not have mentioned Davy Jones' Locker, but I certainly ended up there--self-inflicted, of course. Besides, why would we want to mention one of the
Monkey's wardrobe cabinets when were bounding o'er the main, meign, mane, oh, the hell with it.

Trihook

[batyler65]

Barb removes her purple hat with a flourish and toys with the ostrich plume.

"I really should have stepped in and said, 'Arrrrrrr!'," she said, twirling her sinister moustache. (Yeah, you should check out wardrobe sometime. Cool stuff there, I tell ya.) And I didn't get a chance to zap anybody with my electrified hook...

"Bud wants a cold beer! Squawk!"

"Oh, stop it, Bud! We missed the boat on this one. We were so busy writing those two monthly newsletters that the entire weekend--"

"Nekkid wimmin! Nekkid wimmin! Squawk!"

"Oh, knock it off, Bud," Barb said, angrily. "And stop trying to perch on my shoulder, it's just... WRONG."

[Kida Adelyne]

Barb removes her purple hat with a flourish and toys with the ostrich plume.

"I really should have stepped in and said, 'Arrrrrrr!'," she said, twirling her sinister moustache. (Yeah, you should check out wardrobe sometime. Cool stuff there, I tell ya.) And I didn't get a chance to zap anybody with my electrified hook...

"Bud wants a cold beer! Squawk!"

"Oh, stop it, Bud! We missed the boat on this one. We were so busy writing those two monthly newsletters that the entire weekend--"

"Nekkid wimmin! Nekkid wimmin! Squawk!"

"Oh, knock it off, Bud," Barb said, angrily. "And stop trying to perch on my shoulder, it's just... WRONG."

*snorts chocolate milk through nose*:ROFL:

[Kitahoshi]

*hides behind Kida* ... O.O

[scfirenice]

Has anyone seen Natalia? I'm freaking out here....Tomorrow is friday. Someone hit her with a tranq dart if you see her.

[Natalia]

*dodges tranq dart and fires up taser all in one swift move*

Hello Campers :hi:

:Clap:It is Friday, which means it is officially the beginning of the WEEKEND and time to start REPORTING...

:popcorn:I'm just gonna sit here and watch...this ought to be fun...hehe.

:Hammer: I don't want excuses... "my computer broke down" meow meow meow meow...

YOU WILL REPORT!!! :box:

[scfirenice]

scfirenice powers down cumputer and catches slow boat to bermuda....

[batyler65]

Friday August 5, (what year are we on, again?)

Just poking my head in...

Researched and wrote 3 nonfic pieces for the software project. Working on researching pieces 4 and 5.
Begun my monthly column -- due today.
Need to review my November issue of the Ed. newsletter -- due today.
Worked on the children's book MS that should have been mailed out LAST week. (Expect to get it out next week).

Am SERIOUSLY in need of a nap.

Fighting off Bud, who for some reason, STILL thinks he's a parrot. (thanks, Lori)

um... Did I mention I'm still trying to get everything moved? ugh. PLUS, next weekend, I'm traveling. Whee!

meow, meow, meow.

B

[scfirenice]

Barb,

Showoff.

S

[batyler65]

I prefer to think of it as "eating". ;)

Barb

[triceretops]

Barb--Being a bass player in a band called Four Wheel Drive (years ago), and after listening to your brother's band, Papa's Hat, if I were you, I would be veeeeeeeeeeery afraid for treating him so shabbily, because those people rock, and I only fine-tuned my ears for one cut. Nice guitar over-drive and great harmony.

Tri

[triceretops]

I had to go backstream into the archives to see what my weekly word count record was. It was 16,000. So I'm happy to report, with five hours, left, I just hit 16,800 for this week, for a total of 27,000. Needless to say, I'm happy with that and will appear before midnight and see if I can't push that some more.

Tri

[triceretops]

17,500 is the final. Fooled around AW too much.

Tri

[Unique]

:gone: (Unique sneaks in...)

10 minutes a day - whether you want to or not-
10 minutes a day - even if it is dreck-
10 minutes a day - before brain is engaged-
10 minutes a day - pretending to know what I'm doing-
10 minutes a day - using lesson plans to count (even if it is cheating)
__________________________________________________
50 minutes of writing this week

- but on a brighter note: ~300 words on a new project.
I'll come back & let you know if I get 'Yes'.
:gone: (Unique sneaks out ...)

[jdkiggins]

It's still Friday to me, I haven't slept yet. :)

Progress is slow but steady.

I do have a rough draft for my two columns.
Edited five more pages on my horror book. :( Finding no humor in editing. LOL
Managed to make some order of four boxes of writing materials brought from home to Mom's. (I need file cabinets down here.) :ROFL:

Planning to edit more of my manuscript and write on my WIP.

Taser is welcome! It may send electronic impulses to a fried brain. :)

[scfirenice]

Let's see. I edited 87,000 words for grammar and adverbs; deleting 5 pages of the later...yikes. Who writes that many adverbs? I did, I guess. No new pages, still have to edit mss #2.

Zap away.
S :guns:

[msQTpi]

This past week I have written at least one short story every night, with a minimum of 500 words each night. I posted one of them (Extreme House-Cleaning) to the Share Your Work section and would love some feedback. I have settled into a regular schedule of Marketing for the Trailer Park Gazette and have started reading marketing books for more ideas. I stepped out of my comfort zone by moderating a chat in one of my groups (writerschat) this past week end.

Last night I increased my daily word count quota to 750. I plan to be writing 1,000 words a night by the end of the month.

The second issue of the Trailer Park Gazette will be published Wednesday.
:Trophy: Thanks Charlie!! I will be using your story in the guest writer spot.

My Mom and Grandmother will be visiting with us next week. They are bringing my nephew, who is a wild child. I hope my trailer survives! I expect to have a font of experiences to pull from for stories by the time he leaves for home.

Renee'

[scfirenice]

I spread twenty yards of mulch, stood on a ladder and cleaned my windows inside and out, and planted some new flowers.... oh, not that kind of progress. I started the last big edit (I hope) on my second novel.

[Yeshanu]

<Ruth slinks into the WPR room, and furtively looks about>

Um, I've been around. Ally told me about the pirate story, and I was going to report in, but pirates reminded me of boats, and my active mind said, "My dad has a boat," and so there was nothing to do but hop in the van and drive three and a half hours to his place and go for a boat ride.

In short, my brain seems to have disappeared again. My muse is still present, though. I've got some good ideas for the book and some travel articles and suchlike, but the only thing my computer seems to be used for these days is, ah, oh, all right...


The Sims2.

Is there a Sims2 Anonymous group I can join? Anyhow, holidays end tomorrow, as I'm starting a temp job, so hopefully the routine will jolt me back into action.

[Kida Adelyne]

She's lying. Her brain never came back... *cough* Ummm... yah. So how 'bout them dodgers...?


This has been a thinly vieled attempt to prevent myself from being tazered. I hope you have enjoyed my lack of creativity. Tazer here-->

Thank you, and enjoy the rest of your day.

-Ally

[Birol]

Reporting In.

On the TBWN front:

Wrote 6757 words.
Deleted 2837 words (some of which were predecessors to the above count).
I'm somewhere between 1/3 and 1/2 through detangling POV Character #1.
In other news:

Submitted a batch of 10 greeting card ideas.

[scfirenice]

You people who actually did stuff make me sick.
S

[Birol]

Ah, yes, but the real question is, does it motivate you?

[scfirenice]

well, I'd be more motivated if I lost my internet connection and couldn't sign on to this devil board anymore.

[MacAllister]

Edited another chapter (@20 pages) and wrote a short-story longhand while at the beach with the whole friggin' household.

Also picked up about 50 lbs of trash at the beach, but I'm pretty sure I don't get writing credit for that. :D

[Natalia]

:idea:So... I guess I should report as well

My MS is now officially past the 50K mark...yaay me! It is actually 51.5K and counting. I also started a blog on blogger and wrote three pieces for it (www.nataliacherjovsky.blogspot.com). I worked on lesson plans and I started a new short story.


:banana: :banana::banana:for me!


NOW, for you all....



MAC –
Yaay for the editing and woohoo for the new short story ( and showing people you can indeed have a social life AND write). We expect the short story typed and edited and ready to be submitted soon. And extra kudos for the picking up of trash….

NO ZAP FOR YOU! :Hug2:



BIROL –
I am SO NOT going to do the math. You wrote and you are still in the positive side of words gained. We’re good. And yaay for the detangling and woohoo for the submissions.

NO ZAP FOR YOU! :Cheers:



ALLY –
:ROFL:You get brownie points for creativity in your diversion tactics…but that’s not quite gonna do it.

ZAAAAAAPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTT :whip:


RUTH –
Ideas are good…great even. But if they don’t get written down…they have a tendency to fly away. So woohoo for the ideas and keeping the muse around but, I’m afraid…. ZAAAAAAPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTT :whip:


RENEE –
WOHOO! Way to go! You get fairy powder and a snoopy dance. That’s a lot of hard work. We are very proud. :partyguy:


SCFIRENICE –
Of course editing counts as real work. It is HARD work. And you did a lot of it. But it seems you need (and want) a little zap to get you writing. So I will humour you…

ZPT… there :poke:

JOANNE –
Yaays and woohoos for you as well. Loads of stuff done. But again, of getting volts in you will motivate you… I aim to please…here you go…

ZZPPTT :poke:



UNIQUE –
Hmmmm 300 words is a gain. Yet… 50 minutes of writing is little. We understand…life gets in the way…meow meow meow… but….

ZZZZZZPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTTT :whip:


TRI -
Holy Writing Batman… what can I say… we bow to you…. We shall build you a shrine and worship at it daily. :Hail:





BARB –
Sounds like you are still on track…in spite of the move and of dealing with Bud trying to perch himself on your shoulder, which I agree is plain wrong.

NO ZAP FOR YOU…. :hooray:



To The Rest of You….we know who you are…we don’t know where you live…but we know where you post…
REMINDER: Don’t Treat Your Art Like a Hobby. :Soapbox:


I hereby (reluctantly) relinquish the taser...but we will be one again... :gone:

[allenparker]

<Allen sneaks in, blood shot eyes glowing like red beacons. Shuffles over to the reporting table dropping playing cards from every pocket. His drink slushes on the table, causing a small bit of steam to rise as the paint melts away. The blackened eye and disheveled clothes seem strangely appropriate.>

Okay, spent the whole weekend drinking and playing Texas Hold'em. Won enough to pay a writer to do my writing while I sleep it off. He didn't do the work. Taser him.

<walks over to couch and collapses in a heap on the cushions.>

Caution: That much moonshine and a taser might not be a wise decision.

Oh go ahead. Just hit my head first. Maybe the headache will decrease once my head explodes.

Just a naked thought from the palatial futon.... Allen

[Natalia]

Reclaiming taser...

Allen :ROFL:for the story... but

:whip: zzzzzpttttt

You knew it was coming.

[batyler65]

WOOOOO-HOOOOOOO!

Breaking that 50k mark is a BIG deal! Way to go, Natalia!

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gifhttp://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gif

[Unique]

"UNIQUE –
Hmmmm 300 words is a gain. Yet… 50 minutes of writing is little. We understand…life gets in the way…meow meow meow… but….

ZZZZZZPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTTT :whip: "

Thank you, oh, thank you - Mistress of the Taser!! :Hail:

I feel much better now.....maybe even inspired a bit....thank you, oh, thank you!:hooray:

[ChunkyC]

I will be using your story in the guest writer spot.
Really?!? http://bestsmileys.com/fainting/1.gif

Oh -- wrote & submitted my column (498 words)

More research for HOME & AWAY, on the organizational structure of various religions. I'm modelling my fictional religion primarily on the Jesuits (since I went to a Jesuit high school), but want to see if anything from other religions sparks an idea. Found a book at the used bookstore about all the major religions of the world. Didn't have enough cash with me, hope it's still there.

Didn't actually write any new words in the story, tho'.

[Natalia]

CC-

You get zapped for being tardy :whip:

:Clap: But good job getting stuff done

[Birol]

NATALIA HIT 50k!!!

:snoopy::snoopy::snoopy:

:TheWave::TheWave:

[ChunkyC]

You get zapped for being tardy :whip:
Ow.

ps - I fergot to congratulate you on hitting 50K, Nat.

CONGRATS!!!

[msQTpi]

NATALIA YEAH !!!


50K WOO HOO!!

Party on!! :partyguy: :PartySmil :TheWave: :banana: :banana: :banana:

[scfirenice]

Congrats on the big 5-0!!! Natalia.

[Yeshanu]

Mac,

Also picked up about 50 lbs of trash at the beach, but I'm pretty sure I don't get writing credit for that.

No, but I'll put in a good word for you with my boss...


Natalia,


http://bestsmileys.com/fireworks/1.gif


WAY TO GO!!!!!!!

[allenparker]

Wow! 50K? you don't look a day over 39K. What is your secret?

(couldn't help it.)

Allen

[Kida Adelyne]

http://bestsmileys.com/big/1.gif
Go Natalia!!
:banana::banana::banana::banana::banana::banana::b anana::banana::banana:

[Natalia]

Thanks, guys and gals for all the 50K parties!!!!

I feel so mushy and gushy :)

Next: 60K... stay tuned.

xoxox

[batyler65]

Be-bopping in here EARLY this week. I'm leaving town for an extended weekend tomorrow. Going to visit with my brothers, have a few laughs, reconnect, that sort of thing. I'm looking forward to it.

That means this week has been an extremely short work week. The only thing I have to report is I have FINISHED getting the requested MS ready to mail. It took way more hours than I thought, but it is out the door as soon as I get done posting here. This particular project is a children's book that has been languishing here for want of a publisher. I swear, when I set out to be new and innovative, I wish someone had smacked me around a bit. Do you have any idea how tough a sell "new and innovative" is? Cross your fingers for me. I'd like to get this particular notch in my belt. :)

Best of luck to everyone. I believe Lori has the taser this week. Last I saw, she was charging into the fray shouting, "TAKE NO PRISONERS!". We could all be in very big trouble.

Hugs,
Barb

[Birol]

Best of luck to everyone. I believe Lori has the taser this week. Last I saw, she was charging into the fray shouting, "TAKE NO PRISONERS!". We could all be in very big trouble.

Prisoners? There's supposed to be prisoners? Why does no one ever tell me these things?

[Unique]

Oh, shiesh....I'd better get busy. I've been goofing off.

(Ha, like you didn't know.)

[triceretops]

Hugs back, Barb. Hope everything works out with that "new/innovative" idea. We can stand some new ideas. I hope a publisher picks it up.

Tri:banana: :Jump: :partyguy: :Trophy:

[Birol]

ZZZzzaappPPPTTTtt!!!!

Now that I have everyone's attention.... Oh, okay, I'll wait for you all to stop twitching like that.
.
.
.

Guess I shouldn't have touched the taser to the circle of metal folding chairs, huh?
.
.

Okay, now that I have everyone's attention and you've all stopped twitching, it's time to either report or get cracking. If you've already accomplished stuff, report early and enjoy your weekend. If you haven't accomplished much of anything, now's the time to get creative -- and I don't mean creative with your reports.


Sound off, Weekenders.

[Kida Adelyne]

and I don't mean creative with your reports.


butbutbut... fine. C'mon guys. *leads three elephants, Kita dressed as a tiger, and two hobbits off the stage*

[allenparker]

Week's progress:
Went to store and bought asbestos undewear with full metal grounding rods.

Wrote a new Motto! "Ten pages a day keeps the zapping away."

Wrote in my calendar to place a good report on here on Monday. MIght even have a bit of good news.

Allen

[scfirenice]

slips off behind Kida dressed as a yak.

[triceretops]

Okay, less' see. Last week was 27,000. With four hours to go I hit 42,056 for a weekly gain of 15,056. I'm satisfied. But wondering if the wheel will come off somewhere. I don't think so--I know right where the story is going. I'll check back at 12 midnight for a recap.

Good Luck all,

Tri

[triceretops]

16,000 for 43,063. Under the wire.

Tri

[msQTpi]

Well...let's see, I got the e-zine finished and published, it on time, Wed. at 2:00, wrote 750 words a night until my family came to visit, then took a break to visit with them. I am back on track now and will soon have caught up with the 3,000 words I slumped off on during my "break". I do write those words I have missed. It really is incentive not to slack for very long.

Also, I have agreed to be somewhat more regular as chat moderator on Sunday nights for writerschat ( http://audreyshaffer.com/chat/chat ) and am busy transcribing those chats in my stolen moments. (Lori, it was great to see you there, hope you come back :hi: )

My hubby is doing great with his smoking! My kitty is getting fat and sassy...heavy on the sassy. I am just getting fat, not very sassy lately.

Renee'

[maestrowork]

We celebrated my mom's big birthday this week. It was a lot of fun and she was very happy. Then on Tuesday we went to Laguna Beach to see the world-famous Pageant of the Masters and the Festival of Arts. Great stuff. I love California.

ETA: oops, I guess that's not the kind of report you want... well, I am on vacation, so ... I did write my movie review -- being in CA allows me to see just-released indies so I went and reviewed Broken Flowers with Bill Murray. I also love to go to the Starbucks on Robertson to write: part of a short story and about 600 words on CTN. I've also been working on publicity stuff on TPB...

[Unique]

Geez.

Sunday already?

Ok. Here it is:

5 pages of handwritten notes culled from 2 library books. I'm supposed to translate this 'knowledge' into one 200 word essay. joi joi.

Reiterate same material into a 500 word essay (hopefully not repeating myself)

6 new lesson plans for our NC History homeschool lessons. (with more to do - enough to last a whole year.) :faint: That's it. Anyone have jumper cables? I need a recharge....

[scfirenice]

Well, I don't have too much to report, but here goes. I edited 150 pages of my second ms, outlined a nonfiction I want to write, and sent out three queries. Book three hasn't been touched in weeks, but I need to work on selling book One anyway.

[Kida Adelyne]

I was going to try and write somthing this weekend so that I could prevent the tazer, but I got sidetracked. That means I only wrote about (maybe) 500 words. None of which were particularily inspired. On the onther hand, my room is painted (sans closet, don't know when I'm gonna find time to do that). Now I just need to re order it so my compy is re-setup. Not that my 'writing computer' is ever used that much. Takes five minutes to turn on. Blah. I'm rambling, arn't I? Guess I'm just really tired.

Won't get very much writing (if any) done this coming week. I have a music camp and I'm going to be to exausted to do much of anything.

-Ally

[Unique]

I hope Barb has a surge protector on this thing.....

[rich]

Where the hell's erasor?

[MacAllister]

Eraser has apparently gone fishing, until further notice. :)

[Natalia]

I probably need to be zapped.
I didn't write anything for my MS or any short stories... I did, however... blog my little heart out this week. And that's still writing and I am getting read... check out..there are readers...and comments...that's why I'm hooked

www.nataliacherjovsky.blogspot.com (http://www.nataliacherjovsky.blogspot.com)

My main goal for this week is to finish two short stories and to do some subbing.

-N

[Unique]

ah ha ha...loved your blog Natalia. #2. I'm still laughing....oh, I can't breathe....

[Natalia]

Thanks! It's addictive...it's the new bermuda triangle of my time. ick... but at least it's writing.

[ritinrider]

Just thought I'd pop in and say hi to y'all. "Hi". Also, thought I'd point out that no internet service, which means no access to the cooler does NOT translate into more writing. I know, seems like forever since I lost my internet connection. Hope,hope, hope it comes back soon.

Y'all are doing great though. Loved the pirate story during what was supposed to be my week. Hopefully, I'll be back online by the time it's my turn again.

Oh, and while my lack of cooler access hasn't spawned a great deal of writing, I have been writing and E is now past 10,000 words. Whoo-hoo. Not on par with Natalia, congrats by the way, or Tri, who I think writes that much in his sleep. But it is progress for me, and the story is moving right along.

Have a great week.
Nita

[Birol]

NITA!!! How are you doing? I hope you have internet access soon, too. Hate to wake up in the middle of another failsafe again. ;)

[allenparker]

There is nothing so refreshing as a good zapping in the morning. THe smell of burnt skin, the aroma of singed hair as it drifts past the nostrils.

NOT FOR ME.

Count them! 25 words! That's right. All twenty five of them.I started with 45,753. I wrote an additional 3000 words. Then edited out 2975, for a net gain of 25!

Although this might sound puney, it means that I have brought the story into line. You wouldn't believe how many "and, but and howevers" I was able to delete. The -ly words flew from the page. And the scene with the bow legged lady and the antenna thin man? Written much tighter. Bet you can't guess how that ends.

Allen

[ChunkyC]

Howdy weekenders!

Wrote the column. 498 words again. (How do I do it?)

Started on another round of polishing on HOME, thanks to some input from another friend. Was pleased to see many of the same points brought up as when Mac gave her input. So far, I've made it through 20 chapters, about half way.

HOME & AWAY is still simmering. I think I'll be ready to get back to it as soon as I finish this round of tweaking on HOME.

Oh, and had my first-ever piece of published fiction included in our very own Renee's e-zine. Hope folks thought it was funny.

[Yeshanu]

butbutbut... fine. C'mon guys. *leads three elephants, Kita dressed as a tiger, and two hobbits off the stage*


:ROFL:

Man, this kid cracks me up sometimes. She must have very funny parents...




No, wait. I didn't mean to say it that way...


*Ahem.*

My report:

I've been goofing off all summer, and ran into a bit of a problem two weeks ago, namely, that goofing off, while great for the complexion, doesn't pay all that well. My refrigerator was looking kind of empty, so I went and applied to a temp agency for a job. (I've worked for this agency before.)

Monday: start new job, get accustomed to actually working again.

Tuesday: notice strange woman at far table during break. What's that skinny stick-like object she's holding in her hand. And what's she doing with it?

Wednesday: I guessed the stick-like object to be a pen of some sort. She's putting marks on that paper. Hmm. Maybe if I brought my pen and notebook to work, I could use my breaks to put marks on paper, too.

Thursday: I remembered my notebook, and my pen. Something of a triumph for me, as I leave at 6:45 a.m., hours before my brain gets out of bed. Too bad I forgot how to make the marks on the paper, though...

Friday: Ta da! Finally managed to mangle a whole page in my notebook during my lunch break.

This week, I'm not at work due to a week-long adventure with Ally into the wonderful world of Suzuki Institute. I'll remember to bring my notebook and little stick-like object every day, though. Hopefully, I'll be able to ruin some more beautiful white sheets of paper before the end of the week.

[Birol]

Okay, Barb, you're entitled to a vacation or two or three -- how much time have you taken off this year, including the move? Is that allowed? Anyway, I was all set to zap you but because you finally got the puzzle book out, I'll let you off the hook. But, because you warned everyone of my mindset this week, I'm afraid no stars for you either. :D

Hope you enjoyed your visit with your brothers.

[Birol]

Ally, ally, ally. You DO make me laugh, but laughter isn't enough. We need to see progress, too. Now, get a pad of paper, one of those ink pen thingies, and take it to camp with you. You can write 10 minutes in the morning when you first get up or 10 minutes at night before you fall into bed. Okay?

This week, it's the taser for you.

ZZZzzzaappttt

[Birol]

I was all ready to zap you at the 25 words comment. Lucky for you, I read the rest of your post. ;)

Bringing the story into line is a worthwhile activity and sometimes, just sometimes, we have to go back if we want to go forward. Just don't let yourself get bogged down in editing and rewriting before you reach The End.

No zaps for you, my friend. Carry on.

[Birol]

Fire, glad to see you out of the Yak suit. It's too hot for fur anyway.

I think you had plenty to report. Editing 150 pages, outlining, and sending out three queries? All productive, useful, time-consuming, must-be-done activities. Next week, I hope you'll be able to report progress on Book III and/or tell us what you've done to start marketing Book I.

Keep up the good work.

:thankyou::thankyou:

[Birol]

Tri, I should zap you just for being such an overachiever.

Keep up the good work. Take a bow.

:thankyou::thankyou::thankyou::thankyou::thankyou:

[Birol]

Renee, I'm not seeing much writing-related stuff in that report. Seems to me like it's being padded with talk about your husband and your kitty cat.

Good to hear you're going to be a mod in that chat. Seems like a good group of people. I don't know how many times I'll be able to stop by, as it meets as the same time as my writing group, but I'll try. My group's just been on hiatus the last couple of weeks.

Also good to hear that the e-zine went out as scheduled and you intend to make up the missed words, but, you get a little zap for missing them in the first place and for padding your report. :)

Zzzapppttt