Quick format...thingie

[bluejester12]

Is there a better way to make a list like this I did, or is this good enough?




INT. CODY'S BEDROOM - DAY

The phone RINGS. Move over a table upon which lies

--bottles of anti-depressants

--a children's book titled THE DRAGON RIDERS

--a worn hardcover copy of THE MODERN ART OF WAR

Pass bookshelves lined with self-help books and a wall map with the words HERE THERE BE DRAGONS over South America.

[dpaterso]

Seems clear enough to me, and clarity's all that matters. I thought the "Past bookshelves..." line should maybe have continued the list... self-help books... a wall map... etc.?

-Derek
My Web Page - naked women, bestial sex, and whopping big lies. (http://hometown.aol.co.uk/DPaterson57)
Take the critiques you get with a grain of salt. Invariably, some of the critics will be kooks, bitter curmudgeons, or complete fools. ~odocoileus

[Blackheart]

Yeah it's clear enough. I'd have written it more like this, but that's just a matter of preference


INT. CODY'S BEDROOM - DAY

The phone RINGS. Move over a table cluttered with bottles of anti-depressants -- a children's book titled THE DRAGON RIDERS -- a worn hardcover copy of THE MODERN ART OF WAR --

Bookshelves are lined with self-help books. A large map with the words HERE THERE BE DRAGONS over South America is tacked to the wall.

[scripter1]

depends on if you need the line space or not.

And how important these items are.

The real question for me now becomes, do you actually use these things in your story? Or have you just mentioned them, wrote it well, and then moved on?