Submissions Anxiety

[JenNipps]

When you send queries, proposals, etc., out, do you get anxious? Do you get butterflies in your stomach?

Better yet, do you have to suppress the urge to go back and get the envelope out of the mailbox/back from the post office worker?

[stormie]

Hi Jen!

Yes, at first every query, every ms., was sent with trepidation. One time I stood at the "out of town" mail slot at the post office for a full minute, envelope in hand. What was even harder was clicking the "send" button on an email query or ms. Now, six years later, it's easier and not as gut-wrenching.

[JenNipps]

With the Rejection Pledge, I'm finding it does get easier. But when I send something I consider "big," I still get the urge to retreive it. :)

[Julie Worth]

Tie a string to the envelope so you can pull it out. Ah...no, come to think of it, that might be a felony.

[stormie]

Tie a string to the envelope so you can pull it out. Ah...no, come to think of it, that might be a felony.
:ROFL:

[rich]

Tie weights to the freakin' query, manuscript. Make sure it's duly mailed. Cry if you must when you get a rejection, but don't hesitate to cast that freakin' bread upon the waters.

[davidhburton]

My anxiety doesn't come from the sending...it's when I'm waiting for the reply. When I see a new email in my inbox and that it's a reply to my query, I get the sweats...can't move the mouse properly when it's sitting in a puddle of water! ;)

[Jamesaritchie]

My anxiety doesn't come from the sending...it's when I'm waiting for the reply. When I see a new email in my inbox and that it's a reply to my query, I get the sweats...can't move the mouse properly when it's sitting in a puddle of water! ;)
The only time I ever got the sweats was after the query letter was returned and I had to open it. Submitting has always been easy for me, and the waiting never bothered me a bit, but once the query is returned you have to look inside to see whether it's good news or bad. That was always the sweaty brow, shaky hands moment for me.

[JenNipps]

Tie a string to the envelope so you can pull it out. Ah...no, come to think of it, that might be a felony.

:ROFL:

Don't think I haven't thought of it.

Tie weights to the freakin' query, manuscript. Make sure it's duly mailed. Cry if you must when you get a rejection, but don't hesitate to cast that freakin' bread upon the waters.

They go out. Though I haven't met my goal for the past two weeks due to family stuff. I'm thinking I'll catch up on it this week.

My anxiety doesn't come from the sending...it's when I'm waiting for the reply. When I see a new email in my inbox and that it's a reply to my query, I get the sweats...can't move the mouse properly when it's sitting in a puddle of water! ;)

That's when you need to get a rollerball mouse with the ball on top that you just move with your thumb. :)

Oddly enough, the waiting doesn't bother me. Partly because I do always have several things going at once so I can't/won't dwell on the wait. That's what works for me, anyway.

[blacbird]

It makes me phyically ill. Literally. I get headaches. But I think I may have solved the problem: I now have Submitter's Block. The inevitable futility of it all has convinced me that nothing I ever write will ever be accepted anywhere, so what's the point?

Yeah, I know, that's circular reasoning. A lot of reasoning always works out that way. In any event, I still write, God knows why, but haven't submitted much anywhere over the past year, and don't envision a change in that anytime soon. I guess that happens when you work in the Unmarketable genre.

caw.

[rich]

Editors are your best critics.

[blacbird]

Editors are your best critics.

My stuff must be perfect, then, because they never have anything to say about it.

caw.

[stormie]

My stuff must be perfect, then, because they never have anything to say about it.

caw.

Ah, so perfect they have to send a form letter. They're left speechless. (At least that's what I like to think....):D

[Lee_OC]

I've only submitted shorter works such as short fiction and articles. In the beginning, I used to get nervous. Now I'm more impatient than nervous. I just want them to make a decision...if I'm rejected, I'll just look for another publication/market. I've developed really thick skin. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/smile.gif

[Anya Smith]

Hi Jen,


The truth is, I haven't even progressed that far after my last rejection. I keep polishing the manuscript, the synopsis, and I have yet to write a query letter.

I guess I'm scared, and I keep saying I'll do it tomorrow. It makes me miserable and I feel inadequate.:cry:

[stormie]

The truth is, I haven't even progressed that far after my last rejection. I keep polishing the manuscript, the synopsis, and I have yet to write a query letter.

Problem is, you can spend too much time polishing to the point where the ms. doesn't have the energy, the sparkle, it had at one time. (It's the opposite of polishing a stone 'til it gleams.) You have to say, "Enough." Take a deep, deep breath, and kiss it good-bye. Send it out there. If a query has you stumped, just write three succint sentences about your novel--like what you see on a book flap or back-of-book, and the rest is very easy.

Everyone's scared in the beginning, and there's still some bit of that even when you've landed the agent or the publishing contract, but it really does get easier!

[Lee_OC]

Everyone's scared in the beginning, and there's still some bit of that even when you've landed the agent or the publishing contract, but it really does get easier!

I remember my first rejection letter...one of those form slips. It really shook my confidence for a little while. I got over it. I think you just have to dive right in and get used to the submission process.

[JenNipps]

I've only submitted shorter works such as short fiction and articles. In the beginning, I used to get nervous. Now I'm more impatient than nervous. I just want them to make a decision...if I'm rejected, I'll just look for another publication/market. I've developed really thick skin. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/smile.gif

Heh. I can completely relate to the impatient part. That's completely me. :)

Any tips on developing a thick skin? I'm still a bit burned after that last one.

[JenNipps]

Hi Jen,

The truth is, I haven't even progressed that far after my last rejection. I keep polishing the manuscript, the synopsis, and I have yet to write a query letter.

I guess I'm scared, and I keep saying I'll do it tomorrow. It makes me miserable and I feel inadequate.:cry:

From personal experience....

Try not to let yourself feel miserable or inadequate over it. It only leads to more feelings of the same. If you feel like you're not ready to submit a full partial, start with somewhere that takes either only a query or a query and a few pages of the story itself.

One agent I'm seriously considering submitting to (actually, the one I was going to have an appointment with at the conference last weekend) only accepts a query and the first five pages of the manuscript. That's it.

If you can do something like that, while it won't completely alleviate those feelings, it will (hopefully) give you a feeling of accomplishment that you did get something submitted. Each little success begets a larger success.

[Lee_OC]

Heh. I can completely relate to the impatient part. That's completely me. :)

Any tips on developing a thick skin? I'm still a bit burned after that last one.

I don't know if I have any useful tips. :) I think it helps to keep busy and stay productive. By the time that rejection letter (or email) rolls in, I've already thought about the next gameplan or the next project.

Now when they don't respond at all, that's when I get really anxious. I hate that feeling of limbo.

[Anya Smith]

Thanks, Jenn, stormie, Lee OC, for the encouragements.


Jenn, I'm also working on thickening my skin. Why can't we just turn off our emotions when we take the mail out?

[Bamponang]

Now, six years later, it's easier and not as gut-wrenching.

Lucky you! More than a decade after I began my writing career, I still have a serious case of submission anxiety. I have a high number of articles and personal essays that i completed and that I should be sending out, but i'm too scared because what if they are not right for the market or need more work?

My resolution this year is to look through all the stories languishing in my hard drive and submit those that look good enough. Even rejection will be a step up.

[JenNipps]

Now when they don't respond at all, that's when I get really anxious. I hate that feeling of limbo.

Now that is something I can completely relate to. I have a short story in that place right now. Even after sending a follow-up two weeks ago.

[Variant Frequencies]

I sweat every part of the submission process, not just the "is it good enough" stuff. Did I follow the guidelines to the letter? Did I get the right submission in the right envelope? Is there a stupid typo in the query letter, even though I've reread it a dozen times? It's actually a relief when it's gone and out of my hands. :)

[Lee_OC]

Lucky you! More than a decade after I began my writing career, I still have a serious case of submission anxiety. I have a high number of articles and personal essays that i completed and that I should be sending out, but i'm too scared because what if they are not right for the market or need more work?

My resolution this year is to look through all the stories languishing in my hard drive and submit those that look good enough. Even rejection will be a step up. You might as well start submitting today. Why wait? :)

[Lee_OC]

I sweat every part of the submission process, not just the "is it good enough" stuff. Did I follow the guidelines to the letter? Did I get the right submission in the right envelope? Is there a stupid typo in the query letter, even though I've reread it a dozen times? It's actually a relief when it's gone and out of my hands. :) I feel the same kind of relief. If the piece is not good enough to submit anywhere, I toss it in my "drafts" folder for another day. If I think it is good enough, I send it as soon as I find the right market for it.

[JenNipps]

My resolution this year is to look through all the stories languishing in my hard drive and submit those that look good enough. Even rejection will be a step up.

I've been doing that, too. The sad thing about it is I found a story completely finished that I didn't remember finishing. :Huh:

[Pat~]

The submissions part doesn't make me anxious...and it's always an adrenalin surge to get a response, even if it's only a rejection letter. But what makes me anxious is the long, silent wait for a response. I'm actually relieved to get mail/email from an editor, no matter what it says. It's the no-response that drives me up a wall. The way I handle that is just to send out more submissions. Activity is somehow consoling.

I think the only way to develop a thick skin about rejections is to rack up enough of them that they don't bother you any more. But I guess it helps that usually along the way you get some acceptances. If you got nothing but rejections, I'm not sure if it'd be so easy to develop that thick skin.

[JenNipps]

I think the only way to develop a thick skin about rejections is to rack up enough of them that they don't bother you any more. But I guess it helps that usually along the way you get some acceptances. If you got nothing but rejections, I'm not sure if it'd be so easy to develop that thick skin.

You know...

I've been thinking about this a bit. I'm not sure it'd really be a good idea to develop much of a thick skin toward rejections. It almost sounds like that means you'd stop caring. (Generally speaking, not you specifically.) If you stop caring about rejections, about your writing, maybe it's best to either stop or not submit anything ever?

Hmmm...

[Lee_OC]

Having a thick skin doesn't necessarily mean that you don't care. It just helps keep the rejections in perspective. I remember my first rejection letter, and it really shook my confidence. After a while, I learned how to learn from each rejection. I had to learn not to take things personally.

I agree that the lack of response is worse than an outright rejection.

[JenNipps]

Having a thick skin doesn't necessarily mean that you don't care. It just helps keep the rejections in perspective. I remember my first rejection letter, and it really shook my confidence. After a while, I learned how to learn from each rejection. I had to learn not to take things personally.

Point taken. My musings yesterday weren't fully thought out, as was probably obvious.

Learning to learn from rejections has been one of the hardest things I've done. It's hard not to take them personally. I think that's a big reason for my submissions anxiety. I don't (usually) believe they'll buy/request the story/manuscript regardless of how well I think the story is done.

One of my favorite rejections was a form letter with something scribbled on the bottom. They liked the story but didn't think my main character was "strong enough."

Based on other feedback I had received, that really surprised me. But then I started looking closer at that particular magazine's stories. Most of the MCs are male. Mine was female. And blind. (It was a fantasy story, not mainstream.) She wasn't, of course, male, buff, and heroic. She was probably actually a sort of anti-hero.

I know I had a point here, but it seems I've gone off on too much of a tangent.

Oh, yeah... It is possible to learn something from the rejection. lol.

[pdr]

my students find it works.

They yell at me when I tell them to get real! But think about this.
How personal is a rejection from someone you don't know?

[Lee_OC]

my students find it works.

They yell at me when I tell them to get real! But think about this.
How personal is a rejection from someone you don't know?

Very true.

I admit that sometimes I feel my confidence slip when the rejection notice arrives *too* quickly. Once in a while, I'll send a short fiction submission via email and receive a rejection within days. It makes me wonder: wow, did it suck that bad that they had to reject it right away?

Then, I forget about it and carry on...

[stormie]

Once in a while, I'll send a short fiction submission via email and receive a rejection within days.

Yeah, but remember: you can receive an email acceptance within days, too!

[Lee_OC]

Yeah, but remember: you can receive an email acceptance within days, too!

Ah, that is so true. The quickest acceptance I ever received was for a short horror fiction anthology. I emailed my submission in the morning, and the editor had emailed me an acceptance that same evening. That was a really nice surprise. :)

[KingRat]

I spent all day Saturday rewriting my query and preparing submission packages. All day long I was edgy. Shortly after lunch my wife suddenly remembered a baby shower she forgot to go to and got the hell outta there.

My dialup at home is so slow that researching agents took hours and Bill Gates kept insisting he download and install updates to my Windows. Trend Micro absolutely insisted that I download the latest anti-virus pattern.

As I was brushing my teeth for bed that night, tired, haggard, and half drunk (did I mention the beer?), I suddenly thought of the title for my novel. All this time I've not liked my title but couldn't think of one that fit. I ran the new title by my wife and she liked it, too. My excitement began to grow again so I sat down and started reading the manuscript AGAIN, with the new title in mind. In chapter 2 I found the perfect tie-in for the title and have already marked up a few paragraphs for rewrite.

It's like this new title has finally injected the missing piece into my baby, my grand idea, my manuscript. So I set back the submission packages and am going to do another rewrite. This time, without that annoying little voice telling me something just doesn't fit.

[jordijoy]

I love it when a plan comes together. Sounds like the stars lined up for you. I know the feelin' of hunkering down til all the pieces fall into place. Very few things compare.:D

[airforceauthor]

My anxiety doesn't come from the sending...it's when I'm waiting for the reply. When I see a new email in my inbox and that it's a reply to my query, I get the sweats...can't move the mouse properly when it's sitting in a puddle of water! ;)


Ha, for me its slightly different. I use Gmail, and they give me a "preview" of the first sentence of the email right in the inbox. Trust me, it sucks when you see the subject, and right there next to it, "Dear Author, Thanks for your submission but-". Ugh. I dont even get the chance to wonder if it might be a yes. And I dont want to open that email but I know I'm going to anyway, and that just makes it so much worse :-P