crits that raise concerns

[Stew21]

I've had 4 people read my wip. I knew I needed to add a few more things to the plot, outside of typical edits, I really wanted to get to the end of the story and fill in gaps where I saw necessary. As it stands it is 65K words long.
Feedback I have received has been very positive. My characters have driven the plot well. They like the ones they are supposed to like, dislike the ones they are supposed to dislike, support characters are well-defined and well placed with purpose. They started reading and wanted to keep reading, wanted to get to the end, because the story flows nicely.
I asked for solid feedback and asked specific questions of my readers.
Some of the various comments I've received (knowing already I would add more detail to a few places, this was ok with me, it would help me flesh out between major plot points where it may have been thin.) were great indicators of what I needed to add, but two of them are difficult for me, so maybe y'all can help.
1) too much bad happens too suddenly. I didn't want to drag a story through mundane and skipped right to the key plot points. Instead of filling pages with information that I don't feel drives the plot, I tightened up the timeline just to the important parts. Apparently this lacks some realism(?) because it seems so much happened all at once. If I truly do need to add some material between a couple of these moments, how do I avoid filling it with fluff?
2) they wanted to see a greater tension between two characters. I don't have a problem with this, but the suggestions from my readers indicates that they want me to introduce a possible mistrust. I really don't want to do that. Any tension between them should be from outside sources, not internal ones.
3) sex. or more likely, the lack of. They wanted to see a more physical representation of the relationship between two characters. I have no problem with this, only that i had really kept the two of them a part for quite some time, and they would like this to occur sooner and for a tension to build after it. I understand what they are saying, however, I"m not sure how to introduce this "sooner" with out changing a great deal.
4) my bad guy didn't meet an end that they thought was appropriate to his wrong-doings. I wanted it to be realistic, so he was arrested "in the knick of time". Apparently they would rather see him violently beaten. ;) This I don't believe is in any of my characters' natures to do anything that isn't "above board" regarding this guy, though perhaps an act of self-defense goes violent. I also considered his history and adding a bit of that, perhaps seeing how his life was and now how it has fallen apart in more detail would suffice for punishment.

The promising things are that the plot is good, the characters are good, the style is good. They liked the dialogue, the descriptions, the motives put in place and the storyline overall. They wanted to keep reading, they cared about the characters. There was suspense and tension in the right places, and laughter in the right places as they read. The positive feedback I received was all in line with what I was hoping. Knowing I had room to add more to this story was fine for me, it was expected, and suggestions were welcome, however, the things they are looking for me to add don't really seem "right". Or maybe I just haven't seen it yet. a couple of these things can play out in increments in the sub-plot, some would take a full "weave" through the entire ms.
I know I can't please everyone, I'm not trying to, but...
How do you take beta feedback when it indicates something that would take your story in a direction you hadn't intended.

If you all have guidance for me here, I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks!

Trish

[Birol]

Think about what was said, calmly and impartially. Evaluate it. If it is right for your story you wish to tell, use it. If it's not, don't.

[janetbellinger]

Trish, if it was me, I would consider what my crits suggested then go with what felt right to me. In terms of tension between characters, I'd like to go with how the innate characteristics of both is brought out by the outside tensions of the plot so that a relationship that worked under normal circumstances might be compromised by unforseen forces. One good example of this was in a book (don't remember the name) where a poetic but submissive and depressed wife, who was dominated by her high achieving husband became emotionally attached to a house the couple bought together. The man thought of it as an investment. To the woman it became a haven. This was okay though until the couple learned that the backyard had a burial site of a neighbour's ancestors. The husband insisted he'd unearth them and have them buried elsewhere. The wife assured the neighbour she would not let her husband disturb and degrade the remains in such a fashion. The husband went ahead and brought in a backhoe to dig up the grave and dump the remains in a gravel pit or something then it came out that the husband had secretly undergone a vasectomy, knowing full well the wife wanted to have children. Both these events brought out the wife's assertiveness and determination to stay at the house she felt comfortable in and resulted in the couple separating. There were other factors involved too of ocurse but I like psychological types of stories like this.

[Perks]

Trish, how many betas did you have? Sometimes when I've been unsure of a particular piece of advice, I wait to see if more than one person stumbled in the same place.

Pacing the traumas sounds like the biggie to me. If you're losing credibilty in the disaster timeline (lol! makes me think of that heinous film Armegeddon) I'd start there. It may open up obvious opportunites for relationship tension and sex.

As for the bad guy, maybe providence could step in and deliver a beating, if your MCs aren't the sort. Even a bad guy can be in the wrong place at the wrong time. ;)

[JanDarby]

Just FWIW, a lot of critiquers, especially if they're not writers themselves, but even if they are writers, may notice that something feels off, and they try to explain why, but the explanation may not be the real problem. So concentrate more on the general issues they had -- anticlimactic ending, not enough tension, etc. -- and less on any specific solutions they might offer.

[Cat Scratch]

I agree with Jan. For instance, the problem with the ending may not be that the villain should be beaten up, but that the protagonists didn't have a hand in his undoing? I'm leaping to conclusions and picturing a deus ex machina with the FBI swooping in out of nowhere at the last minute, ala Jurrasic Park. If it's more of a Scooby Doo ending where the lead the bad guy to the cops, then ignore me.

At any rate, the bigger ideas, as Jan said, are probably better to focus on for now. There may be more than one solution.

[Simon Woodhouse]

I'm always a bit weary of letting people read a WIP. I seem to have to do at least three re-writes before I'm happy enough with the story. If someone else were telling me what they liked or disliked before I'd given the MS a thorough editing, I think it would muddy the water, distract me from making the changes I thought were necessary.

I think what you need to do is fix the problems you think might exist, and then consider what other people have said, after all, you're the one writing the story, not them. And once the MS has had a really good editing by you, the problems they spotted might not be there anymore.

[Linda Adams]

I got similar comments on a couple of issues that you mentioned, so my comments are below. Maybe they'll help answer some of your questions.

1) too much bad happens too suddenly. I didn't want to drag a story through mundane and skipped right to the key plot points. Instead of filling pages with information that I don't feel drives the plot, I tightened up the timeline just to the important parts. Apparently this lacks some realism(?) because it seems so much happened all at once. If I truly do need to add some material between a couple of these moments, how do I avoid filling it with fluff?

What they're actually saying is that so much is happening so fast that it it isn't giving the reader time to get grounded into the story. In mine and co-writer's, we jumped right into an action scene and started flinging nine names at the readers. No one could figure out what was going on because they had just entered the story, and we was throwing everything but the kitchen sink at them.

It's a structural issue in how the story is set up--and just because a lot of things don't happen all at once doesn't necessarily mean it's fluff. There are ways to develop the story so that something is still happening--just not high level stuff that keeps the reader from getting oriented. Plus, if it's too much happening up front, then the good of the story gets lost because the reader can't keep track of it all.

How did we fix this issue in ours? An extensive, painful rewrite with a focus on the first 100 pages and making sure the story setup worked.

2) they wanted to see a greater tension between two characters. I don't have a problem with this, but the suggestions from my readers indicates that they want me to introduce a possible mistrust. I really don't want to do that. Any tension between them should be from outside sources, not internal ones.

I don't think they're looking for mistrust, so much as having conflict. It may be that the characters get along too well, and some conflict between them over something will spice things up.

4) my bad guy didn't meet an end that they thought was appropriate to his wrong-doings. I wanted it to be realistic, so he was arrested "in the knick of time". Apparently they would rather see him violently beaten. ;) This I don't believe is in any of my characters' natures to do anything that isn't "above board" regarding this guy, though perhaps an act of self-defense goes violent. I also considered his history and adding a bit of that, perhaps seeing how his life was and now how it has fallen apart in more detail would suffice for punishment.

There's a huge difference between realistic and what is interesting to read. What the readers are looking for is not that the character be violently beaten; they're looking for a ending that lives up to all the evil things the chacter did. If he goes out and blows up a bridge during rush hour and kills a thousand people, tries to kill the hero three times, and kidnaps the heroine and threatens her, the reader is going to expect more than the guy being simply arrested. Real life maybe, but unsatisfying because it kind of ends on a whimper instead of a bang.

[Stew21]

thanks everyone. I think the addition of a bit of information I had already planned on (and started on) will help the pacing a bit - where too much seems to happen too fast and in effect it might service the other pieces of the story they mentioned as well.
In regards to everything else, with another go at editing it, we'll see if I can see what they are seeing and take it from there.
Great advice everyone!
Thanks!