YA Story Idea (ancient thread)

[roguebear]

Hi, I had an idea for a young adult novel, but I don't have any experience writing for children, so I thought maybe you could tell me if the idea would work for young adults or not.

Basically what happens is a ten-year-old girl wakes up with no memory of who she is or how she ended up in this town called Eternity. Eternity is like an old 17th Century Puritan colony--like Plymouth or Salem--ruled by a reverend and his very strict rules known as The Way that ban just about anything fun like games, singing, and even reading. The kicker here is there are only three adults (the reverend, the schoolmistress/nanny/mother hen, and the henchman who keeps anyone from going in or out) in town and all the rest are kids younger than 11.

Even as our girl tries to fit in and make the best of her bad situation, she finds clues that something is very out of place in the town. Everything comes to a head when she finds a treasure trove of books--modern books that feature cars and airplanes and all sorts of other things no one in Eternity has ever heard of. This ultimately leads our girl to break into the reverend's lair, where she discovers that the reverend has been using the fountain of youth (and good ol' brainwashing) to keep everyone in town as children he can easily manipulate and control to fulfill his twisted utopian vision. The bad guys are defeated and our girl still doesn't regain her memory--gotta save something for the sequels--but now she and the other children are free to live their own lives now.

I guess what has been nagging at me is that the basic premise is about a girl being adopted by a nutty religious cult. I'm not sure if any kid (or anyone) would want to read that, although I suppose it's not so different than a child being taken in by a stern relative or orphanage or what have you.

I'd be grateful to hear anyone's input on this. Maybe I'm barking up the wrong tree or maybe I'm just making something out of nothing. Doesn't hurt to ask, right?

[kbax]

I think it sounds pretty fascinating, but then, I'm 24. It could actually be interesting to readers of all ages.

The only thing that bugs me is that the premise sounds just a bit like that M. Night Shyamalan (sp?) movie, The Village, I think it was called. But there are several ideas in there that make it different (the religious cult, Puritanism, etc.).

You might want to change the age group, unless you want it to be middle grade. YA, I believe, is usually more in the teenage set. Not that that would stop some from being interested, but, well, they would identify more with a main character who is their own age. I think another interesting thing, if you were so inclined, would be to add a little romance--say, your MC falls for one of the kids in the town. That would REALLY be fascinating. Darn you, you're making me jealous!

But as far as kids reading it, like the YA set, you'd be surprised. That age group reads some pretty serious stuff, sometimes. As long as you don't try to make it preachy or teachy, you might have something here. Why not just start writing, and find out? :)

Let me know how it goes, I'm very interested in this.

P.S. Welcome to AW!

[PattiTheWicked]

I'd recommend reading Out of Time, although the author's name escapes me. It's built along a similar premise -- a girl escapes from a 19th century frontier town only to find out that the outside world is contemporary society. It's quite good.

I agree with changing the age group. If your protag is 11, then what you really have is not a YA book but a middle grade novel.

[roguebear]

OK, thanks for the help. You're not the first to mention "The Village." I've never seen it. I saw "Sixth Sense" and that was enough for me. :-)

[katiemac]

Patti's hit the nail on the head with this one--definitely read Running Out of Time. It's by Margaret Peterson Haddix. I always thought The Village was a rip-off of this book, so start there.

I'd also suggest Tuck Everlasting if you haven't read that yet. It's about the fountain of youth, and is a classic.

With regards to the story--I love it. Teens/middle grades won't consider the reverend and his gang a "religious cult" unless you really try to make it obvious, and even if they do, it's not a big deal--it probably makes the story better. Actually, let's put it this way: the KIDS won't care. Some parent groups might, but that's a whole 'nother topic. But when I was a kid, I loved allegories for the real world.

ETA: Not to mention you've got the whole Puritan angle going, and around 11 is when kids first start studying colonial societies in school. At least, I did.

[roguebear]

Thanks, katiemac. I think I did read Tuck Everlasting a long time ago, but I don't remember it so maybe it's time to give it another go.

[TwentyFour]

Sometimes we repress what we read and write it over...a bad thing to do I know since most editors will feel you are ripping it off an oldie. I think you are not doing that, but the ideas are similiar so it's risky territory. I agree with raising the age, it would be great if you made the girl at least 15 since that is an age where rebellion takes over most kids...make her want to chase boys, dance, do all the teen things that adults call immoral.

[brendao]

Hi Roguebear and welcome to AW. I'm fairly new to this forum also and am trying my hand at middle grade fiction. As a former middle school English teacher, I've read many novels targeting this age group and can tell you that kids will read anything that is engrossing. The best thing you can do to prepare yourself to write a middle grade novel (which this sounds like---with a 10-year-old MC) is to read, read, read what's already out there. In addition to the books mentioned above, I'd recommend The Giver by Lois Lowry. Best of luck!

[laurel29]

Woah I just read this on evil editors blog :) - Did you already write the book?

[September skies]

I instantly thought of "The Village" too -- and it even reminded me a little of "The Giver" -- one of my favorite books.

[Morwen Edhelwen]

reminded of "Running Out Of Time" as well.

[Sage]

Very old thread