Gravity
09-01-2006, 05:18 AM
Another site I frequent was having some fun with query letters, and this is what I came up with. In light of the Atlanta Nights debacle, think they'd take a swing at this? :D
Dear Publish America:
I have dcided to foregoe the usual agent rout, and go straight to the horses mouth. I understnad you are a traditional publsier, and that's what I'm after. I have written a 15,000 word fiction novel about my life, but everyone's name it is differenet because I dont want to be sude. Anyway, it's about me and my dad and how me made me dress up in ladies cloths and go to truck stops and pick up men for well, you know. And Im a guy!!!!
Anyway, after I got away from him me and my mom joined a circuse where she smoked cigaretes with her feet. Oh, she doesn't have any armes, that's why she smoked cigateres with her feet.
Anyway, after she died I joing the marines and baceme a commmando. I fought in lots of wars, but my name isn't on there rolls becuase I was in disgies.
Anyway, now I work for a TV netwerk as a anchoman and its boring, so I wrote a book about my life story and and a guy I know said you do tehse kind of stories. Well do you? I hope so. He said my story will resonat from sea to shinning sea and will fit you like a glove. And thats funny because I like gloves. You know from my time in the marnines when I was a spie. Anyway, here is my book. When you publsih it, please send me the money. And when will it be in Barnes and Nobble and stores like that and a movie? Hurry up Im not getting any younger.
Thansks, Jim Nabbors (not my real name because of the time I was a spie in the marienes)
Dear Publish America:
I have dcided to foregoe the usual agent rout, and go straight to the horses mouth. I understnad you are a traditional publsier, and that's what I'm after. I have written a 15,000 word fiction novel about my life, but everyone's name it is differenet because I dont want to be sude. Anyway, it's about me and my dad and how me made me dress up in ladies cloths and go to truck stops and pick up men for well, you know. And Im a guy!!!!
Anyway, after I got away from him me and my mom joined a circuse where she smoked cigaretes with her feet. Oh, she doesn't have any armes, that's why she smoked cigateres with her feet.
Anyway, after she died I joing the marines and baceme a commmando. I fought in lots of wars, but my name isn't on there rolls becuase I was in disgies.
Anyway, now I work for a TV netwerk as a anchoman and its boring, so I wrote a book about my life story and and a guy I know said you do tehse kind of stories. Well do you? I hope so. He said my story will resonat from sea to shinning sea and will fit you like a glove. And thats funny because I like gloves. You know from my time in the marnines when I was a spie. Anyway, here is my book. When you publsih it, please send me the money. And when will it be in Barnes and Nobble and stores like that and a movie? Hurry up Im not getting any younger.
Thansks, Jim Nabbors (not my real name because of the time I was a spie in the marienes)