Need help!

[Carlene]

Hi guys,

I'm stuck. I cannot find the correct spelling of a word - it's what they call creamated human remains, something like creamins but that's not correct and I cannot find it! Can anyone help?

Thanks!

Carlene

[PeeDee]

ashes?

remains?

chocolate milk?

I've heard the phrase "cremains" before, but not in casual conversation.

[Carrie in PA]

"cremains" according to this article on CNN. http://www.cnn.com/TECH/9607/10/t_t/space.burial/

[Bufty]

That was a short thread.

[Carrie in PA]

Surely we can get it off track or something?? LOL

[alleycat]

Surely we can get it off track or something?? LOL
Why, sure. Just say no one should be cremated because it's against God's will. Or point out that Democrats are trying to pass a law that says everyone should be cremated so as to leave more room for furry animals, or that Republican are trying to pass a law that says everyone has to be buried in order to turn them into future oil deposits.

Or that before cremation . . . the males should be circumcised.

[Bufty]

Strunk would have hated whatever idiot turned 'cremated remains' -whatever that means - into 'cremains' when 'ashes' already describes what remains after cremation.

[MidnightMuse]

I think the original question was CREAMated. *shudder*

We used to cremate pets for clients, but what came back wasn't ashes, it was chunks. Most people can't handle that, so we'd have to prepare them for what they were getting. They came back in metal cannisters, so if you shook them, the bone bits would rattle around. At least half the clients who paid to have that done, never came back to collect the remains.

We had a cupboard of metal canisters filled with bone bits.

[Carlene]

Thanks Carrie! That's exactly what I needed. Now, back to work!

Carlene

[icerose]

Sounds like your fire wasn't hot enough. It's supposed to result in a very fine ash.

[PeeDee]

MidnightMuse, I think that there's a great horror story called "Rattle, Rattle" involving your chunky ashes. I think it hasn't been written yet, and if you don't, I will. :)

[MidnightMuse]

Have at it ! :D

[Carrie in PA]

We used to cremate pets for clients,

Wait a minute. You cremated pets to have as clients??? That's a little sick, don't you think?? :ROFL:

[MidnightMuse]

Oh, um, well . . .ah . . . you think so?
:D

[PeeDee]

I searched for cremation terms on the internet, and found an interesting debate through Google about whether or not you should use the ashes of your deceased as fertilizer for your gardens, lawns, or trees.

Look. I'll tell you right now. You try to fertilize anything with me, and I promise the only thing that's going to grow is going to be dandelions. Lots of 'em. Promise.

[Carrie in PA]

Oh, um, well . . .ah . . . you think so?
:D

(leading a tour group) "And over here we have our jars of clients. This shelf holds our most distinguished and esteemed clients. That's why they have the gold plaques. And if you look to your left, you can see where we hold our employee sacri... er, orientations. Please. No stepping into the circle."

:D

[MidnightMuse]

Hmmm . . . now I can see that horror story fleshing out :D

[Carrie in PA]

Look. I'll tell you right now. You try to fertilize anything with me, and I promise the only thing that's going to grow is going to be dandelions. Lots of 'em. Promise.

Dandelions are cute. ;)

Lest you think I'm flattering you, I only think so because when my DS was about 2 1/2, he would bring me fistfuls of dandelions to put in the vase by the sink. So I like dandelions. :)

[PeeDee]

Hmmm . . . now I can see that horror story fleshing out :D

"Rattle, Rattle" A story of evil in a crematorium, where the last words the workers hear are 'you're fired!'

It'd be a great old pulp story. :D

[Carrie in PA]

Hmmm . . . now I can see that horror story fleshing out :D

Ooh!! Ooh!! Now we have to do a segment on what happens at night when the "clients" aren't being watched. The clanking of bone against metal container. The bloodthirsty lust for flesh.

I think I'll call it "The Clients". LOL!!!!

[Carrie in PA]

"Rattle, Rattle" A story of evil in a crematorium, where the last words the workers hear are 'you're fired!'

It'd be a great old pulp story. :D

Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!! *GROAN*

[Maryn]

In the mortuary trade, crematoriums are known to be fickle and their operators inept or sometimes cheap, unwilling or unable to operate the equipment in the way which produces the fine ash survivors expect.

When my dad died (many years ago) we talked about the possibility of spreading his ashes on the Great Lakes, where he'd taken such pleasure sailing as a young man. Someone took me aside to let me know that if we did that, the odds were good we'd be doing ourselves a favor if we simply dropped the entire box into the water rather than opening it for a sprinkle. Even when the family was prepared for a person's death and welcomed it as an end to suffering, nobody wants to see identifiable bits.

We kept the ashes in the package the mortuary provided, which looked very much like a present gift-wrapped at one of the better department stores. We joked that in a pinch, we could lift the lid and use it as an extra ashtray. ("Hey, Ed seems to be gaining a little weight there!" My dad would have thought that was hilarious, too.)

When my mother died, we had her ashes and my father's mingled and interred together.

Maryn, who's given the kids explicit instructions for the cheapest casket, burned hot and fast

[MidnightMuse]

I like that, mingling the ashes together.

My stepmother had to transport my father up from Yuma, after he was cremated, so she was given this completely sealed box and paperwork to show chain of command that she had to sign over to the funeral home people before the service. Then that box was placed in a larger, gold colored metal one that they sealed in from of all of us. He was put in beside his mother, also cremated, at the head of his father who was buried.

I've instructed my family to do the same as you - as cheap as possible - just put me in pine and shove me through that EZ-Bake oven, and pay no heed to where the ashes go. In the ground, in the garden, whatever.

[Carrie in PA]

I've instructed my family to do the same as you - as cheap as possible - just put me in pine and shove me through that EZ-Bake oven, and pay no heed to where the ashes go. In the ground, in the garden, whatever.

Oh, not me. I have detailed instructions. I am to be mummified and kept in the southwest corner of the living room (preferably facing the TV). A life-sized portrait is to be hung in the master bedroom.

I want to be REMEMBERED, dammit!!

:ROFL:

[veinglory]

What a terribly glib word for such a thing. When on earth would you use it?

[WriterInChains]

My ex & the mortuary folks used the term very matter-of-factly, (the way you'd say "died" instead of the softer tone folks use when they say "passed away") -- and his dad's ashes had been stored there for about 25 years due to an unfortunate family issue at the time of his death. They also used it at The Presidio, when my ex was arranging interment.

[HiltonRC]

My ex-wife's former husband (one of them) said that when he died he wanted his ashes tracked across his mother's white carpet.

[PeeDee]

My ex-wife's former husband (one of them) said that when he died he wanted his ashes tracked across his mother's white carpet.

Oh my god. Can I change my answer? I want that too.