Write about the past? or use Flashbacks? Help

[MKayHavoc]

Hi,

I'm writing my first novel, or rather trilogy, maybe. My story has the potential to become pretty epic. But as so many other writers I'm having trouble starting. And my main problem is this. My main character suffers a loss. His pregnant girlfriend is killed in an accident. And afterwards he leaves for around 5 years. Then returns to face his past.

I want people to relate to his suffering and care that the girlfriend is dead but this isn't the main story line, so I don't know whether to develop there relationship, have the accident and the jump 5 years. Or to have flashbacks? Start the story 5 years after the accident and introduce her in stages. But how the hell do you write about flashbacks?

Any advice would be good. :-)

[KTC]

One I just completed had my main character discovering the death of a friend. It was in present. Then, he slipped into the story of about 20 years earlier for most of the novel. The last chapter brings him back to the present. It has received lots of feedback and that was one of my biggest concerns...the time flips. I was told that it worked.

[valerie_parker]

Start the story 5 years after the accident and introduce her in stages. You can have people mention her to him, have an awkward conversation where the other person is unsure if he should mention her and your MC becomes suddenly depressed.

[MKayHavoc]

Thanks for your feedback. :-)

I think your both right. Cutting back to the past is going to be the best way.

My concern is in my skills to pull this off.

A little more information about my story:

The MC and his girlfriend are archiologists. She is killed on a dig, and 5 years later MC is contacted to go on another dig as a discovery is made. This discovery relates to the first dig, which is why he is contacted. Obviously there is going to be story about the first dig, and the girlfriend etc.

But how could I transition between the past and the present without confusing the reader? I can bring up little bits and pieces in conversations that the MC has with other characters, but important scenes like my MC trying to save her I want to have some real substance. Does it work to just have at the end of one chapter, "What happened to your girlfriend?" and then the next chapter jumps back 5 years?

Thanks

[Willowmound]

A little more information about my story:

The MC and his girlfriend are archiologists. She is killed on a dig, and 5 years later MC is contacted to go on another dig as a discovery is made. This discovery relates to the first dig, which is why he is contacted. Obviously there is going to be story about the first dig, and the girlfriend etc.

But how could I transition between the past and the present without confusing the reader? I can bring up little bits and pieces in conversations that the MC has with other characters, but important scenes like my MC trying to save her I want to have some real substance. Does it work to just have at the end of one chapter, "What happened to your girlfriend?" and then the next chapter jumps back 5 years?

I'm dealing with simmilar stuff in my WIP. I handle it as internal monologue, running prose; some episode or other in the present sets off the character's memories. There is no warning, so to speak, I just let it flow naturally. Never too long, mind, just long enough. That is the art :)

I'll end the flashback with a blank line.

Oh, and the memories are always plain narrative. Scenes would need an introduction.

[MKayHavoc]

Oh, and the memories are always plain narrative. Scenes would need an introduction.

I'm not sure what you mean?

[Willowmound]

Do you know the difference between scene and narrative?

Scene is where everything is happening in 'realtime':

Bobbie opened the door.
"It sure is dark in there," she said.
"Don't worry about it," said Mark. "In you go."
He pushed her gently in the back.
It smelled like rotten flesh inside, or stale socks, or both. There was a wierd echo from walls she couldn't see.

OK, that's an example of scene.

Narrative is like this:

He'd always wanted to see Budapest. When he was younger he'd used to dream about it, literally, in the early mornings. Just before his alarm went off. He knew no one who had been, and he never understood where his urge came from. But it had come, it was there, and he would wake up in a delirious sweat.

Yeah. Well. Spur of the moment writing, but do you see the difference?

That's what I mean! :)

(Do let me know if it's still unclear.)

[moth]

You're right, flashbacks do require a level of skill. All the same I vote for it, since it gives the immediacy you're looking for (and I agree, you need immediacy in places like MC trying to save her).

However, skill can be built. Maybe try writing it out as flashbacks and then tightening it up in revisions once you're done? (I'm guessing from your first post that the first draft isn't finished...?)

I do think it's best to set off the flashbacks somehow, whether as chapter or scene. However, someone asking "what happened to your girlfriend?" is a little...heavy-handed, IMO. Maybe something that alludes to an archaeological detail from the flashback scene, something like, "What about the femur?" which makes him think about the femur his girlfriend moved when she shouldn't have, which led to the accident that killed her. (Of course your specifics instead :) .)

Of course that's JMO, and remember you can always revise when you get done with the draft. Getting it down is the important thing. Keep at it!

[Bufty]

Welcome Mckay, :welcome:

Just my half-penneth.

How can I care that someone's dead or share the grief of the survivor if I don't know either of them? If it's her death that changes your main character's life why not start there? And you do say the original dig is important. Let me share the relationship and the death - then I will care.

And jumping forward is no problem - it's often better than a flashback, which by definition is history, and I prefer to read what's happening 'now' as opposed to what happened yesterday.

Read some books on writing, including Jack M Bickham's Scene and Structure (How to construct fiction with scene-by-scene flow, and readabilty), and don't bite off more than you can chew.

Get one book finished as an entity on its own before you start thinking of a trilogy. You will find it takes a huge amount of stamina, drive and determination just to finish your first book.

You give no details in your profile, but remember - putting words on paper is easy. Putting them down in such a way that other people want to read all of them in the order you have writtten them is a craft that needs to be learned.

Clarity is King, and the key to clarity is simplicity.

Good luck, and enjoy the journey.

[MKayHavoc]

Thanks guys for the feedback.

Willowmound: Yes I understand what you mean now. Thanks.

Moth: I know what you mean with flashbacks, and I think I could probably make it work. But I agree with Bufty in a lot of ways.

Bufty: My concern with starting the novel before her death was this, there would be two jumps, not just the five year one. Story would be something like this:

1, Girlfriend tells MC she's pregnant.
2, They arrive at the dig.
3, They make a few descoverys.
4, Story jumps 3 months.

At this point, I was intending on the MC insisting that his girlfriend leave the dig as she would be 5 or 6 months gone with the pregancy. She insists on staying another couple of weeks.

5, Girlfriend is killed in an accident. (Him not insisting harder that she leaves adds to his guilt/sorrow.)
6, MC leaves for 5 years.
7, They track him down because they need his help.

Now, I could just have three flashbacks I suppose. One for her telling him she's pregnant. One for him insisting she leave, but her wanting to stay. And one for her dying. But like Bufty says, it's a bit impresonal. The reader wouldn't feel a great bond to the girlfriend.

However I'm not sure if I would like having 2 jumps in the book (one for 3 months, and one for five years.) This is really hindering my progress with this novel. As I need to get this bit right as it effects the MC's entire outlook through the story.

Thanks for the welcome guys. And the comments. :-)

[maestrowork]

When does your story really begins? Everything affects the MC's outlook but you're not going to start from the day he was born... so when does your story really start? Everything else is just back story and can be worked into the main story (via dialogue, small flash backs, etc.)


1, Girlfriend tells MC she's pregnant.
2, They arrive at the dig.
3, They make a few descoverys.
4, Story jumps 3 months.

At this point, I was intending on the MC insisting that his girlfriend leave the dig as she would be 5 or 6 months gone with the pregancy. She insists on staying another couple of weeks.

5, Girlfriend is killed in an accident. (Him not insisting harder that she leaves adds to his guilt/sorrow.)
6, MC leaves for 5 years.
7, They track him down because they need his help.


This is all back story. The main story starts at #7. If the MC's girlfriend's death is relevant, tell it in the main story as revelation of the MC's background -- why he is the way he is. It would become more intriguing to the readers.

The problems writers have is that they think about the whole life of the characters and how they become the way they are. That's good for characterization, but not good for the story. Imagine meeting someone new for the first time -- you don't get to hear their whole life's story, but you get to know them as people first... then eventually, you learn -- from conversation, photos, etc. -- that they have a past and NOW everything makes sense. That's probably what you should focus on doing.

[MKayHavoc]

Thanks maestrowork, and to everyone else.

I've got a good ideas of the direction I'm going to go in with my novel. It's amazing how much inspiration you can get from feedback. You've all given me some good ideas. Thanks.

I'll definately be posting here more often. :-)

[Allynegirl]

MKay - you have recieved excellent advice here. I would like to add a book for an example. The Chatham School Affair by Thomas H. Cook. Excellent read and moves from present to past to present in a very easy, flowing manner.

[azchick]

I would try using the girlfriend's death as a prolouge, then going on from there. It kind of gives you a hook, than the reader has a background image of why the MC is the way he is. Flashbacks are great (IMHO) because they present a scene that is not just out of the MC's memory,but can often be put into italics to show that it is a flashback. I used flashbacks throughout my first novel, and it worked really well. Just some thoughts...