Your best worst sentence you ever wrote

[Oliveman]

"In light of the concept of 'absolute momentum', or the actual speed of an object with respect to the inert ether, an experiment was designed in the attempt to determine this based on the difference an ether wind was felt by the differences in beams of light that have gone the same length physically. In vastly more simplistic words..."

[Oliveman]

My goodness, guys, you HAVE to have some favorite examples of bad writing! Forget your shame and show us :)

[PeeDee]

Honestly, silly as it sounds, I don't particularly. If it's that bad, I kill it. The most I get to is mediocre. I try to strive for more than that.

My favorite bad sentence, though is from a book about an attack of giant evil crabs, He wasn't going to live her that night, crabs or no crabs.

Good stuff.

[Oliveman]

Well the sentence I pointed out was so funny that I, before changing it, printed off a copy and pinned it to the wall, where it still resides.

Ok, maybe not your own writing, but humorously bad writing, even if you didnt write it, let's get some rolling ^_-

[Julie Worth]

"In light of the concept of 'absolute momentum', or the actual speed of an object with respect to the inert ether, an experiment was designed in the attempt to determine this based on the difference an ether wind was felt by the differences in beams of light that have gone the same length physically. In vastly more simplistic words..."

A poorly written sentence that actually makes sense if you read it twice, and know the history of experimental physics. Surely you can come up with something infinitely worse.

[farfromfearless]

*Unfortunately*, I deleted all of my crap sentences and re-wrote them. Gods forbid I resurrect them.

[TwentyFour]

I seem to recall the first sentence to my novel being hideous, and I felt it was perfect...and that no one got it.


From memory:
It was here.

[Oliveman]

sorta like my old first one:

It hadn't ticked in for as long as anyone could remember.

despite everything after that meaningful beginning, people said it was depressing

As for my science quote, it's simply because that sentence, when read out loud, never fails in making me burst out laughing. That is why it resides on my wall, not as a mark of shame, but of humor :)

[maddythemad]

Ooh, I've had some bad ones. Lemme see, how about:

"You’re probably thinking it’s rather a helpful coincidence that I happened to find you, and I happened to have answers to all your questions. But it was not coincidence. I asked around at many places to find where you were."

Not a coincidence, eh?

(In my defense, that's from my first novel that I wrote when I was nine)

[maddythemad]

Here are some other gems from that first novel:

“Sorry. Listen, my name is Zack. Now will you tell me your name?”
“I still want to know why you need my name,” said Rhenna
“I need your name because you are a victim of Ranfell and Tullref. I’m supposed to find them, and make sure they don’t keep the-- nothing, it’s nothing.” Zack tuned red “It’s really nothing. Now, your name?”
“Fine. My name is Rhenna Jones, that’s R-H-E-N-N-A.” Rhenna glanced at Zack’s paper “Excuse me! I said H after R!”

Oh yes, very believable that Zach would almost let everything slip out. And Ranfell and Tullref? What sort of names are those? Please tell me they aren't my badguys. "Help! Ranfell stole the... right, I'm not supposed to say. Go back to your knitting, folks."

Here's another precious bit of... action?

Once outside she looked back at the church; people were coming out of it. Several of them were pointing at her she dashed away, and to get away from them, she turned into the first thing she saw. The forest.

She's running away and just happens to be like, "Hey look! There's a forest! Funny I've spent my whole life here and NEVER NOTICED IT! I think I'll go in there."

So, yeah, I take the cake on bad writing.

Seriously. Give it to me.

[Willowmound]

Ok, maybe not your own writing, but humorously bad writing, even if you didnt write it, let's get some rolling ^_-

All right. From an ad on Australian television:

"At the cutting edge of re-growing your hair back before it's too late."

Right. If I ever lose my hair, I know where not to go.

[seun]

From a story I wrote when I was 16 or 17:

"Of all the wonderous expressions in use, this one is most apt to describe what happened.
It was the day the sh*t went down."

[Stacia Kane]

Maddy, thank you for that laugh. "The forest", indeed. My first thought was, how many forests are in the middle of downtown where the churches are?


I don't recall mine exactly, but I'm sure it was riddled with adverbs.

The worst one I've read that I remember was where the heroine was falling, and the line was, "She waited for her bottom to promptly meet the ground!"

[Thomma Lyn]

In my first novel (trunk novel), I used "expostulated" as a dialogue tag. Oh, the horror! :tongue

[beezle]

Geez, I get a new contender every week.

[seun]

In my first novel (trunk novel), I used "expostulated" as a dialogue tag. Oh, the horror! :tongue

Isn't that a hanging offence? ;)

[icerose]

Honestly, silly as it sounds, I don't particularly. If it's that bad, I kill it.


Same with me, I am more focused on trying to replace the bad sentences than keep them.

Although in my earlier work I would have to say anything that began with "Suddenly" was a pretty bad sentence.

[Éclairer]

"It wasn’t always this way. And at first I did my best to keep it from being this way, but my efforts to keep it the way it was, failed. They were a flop and here I am and pretty much the only thing I have to say is that it wasn’t always like this. No, it wasn’t always like this."

Opening sentence. My third novel. I was sixteen. Pretty bad.

[UrsusMinor]

My own lifetime worst was from a technical report, many years ago:

"Given the overhead associated with these facilities, use of them is likely to remain small except on the large scale."

Small except on the large scale? What isn't? What happened to my so-called brain there?

Anne Holt's recent novel had a zinger:

"Mother!" she cried mutely.

(Of course, Anne Holt writes in Norwegian, so the fault may lay with the translator.)

But I think the Lifetime Dumbest Sentence Award, and Silliest Dialogue Tag goes to (drum roll) Robert Ludlum:

"I repeat," he repeated.

Top that one, you amateurs!

[KimJo]

From my first novel, when I was 12:

Most people say there's no life on other planets. Well, that just shows how much they know. My name is Jenie Derrison, and my best friend was from another planet.

[Akuma]

Oh, God, such cliches I have written. Forgive me--I was young and naive...


“So I assume we have a deal, Mr. Renel?” The man in a sleek overcoat of silver asked calmly.

[Miss Java]

I searched for this thread again as I am working on a second draft. I found one gem that I HAD to share.

He nodded his eyes, understandingly.


Hack, cough... Alright! Who wrote this tripe! Wait... (gulp) It was me!

[Bartholomew]

I'm sure I can find something appropriately horrific from my dream journal.

The gargantuin peach smiled a fuzzy smile and rolled toward me, taking my hand with one of its odd-shaped leafs, and stabbing me with its stem: I wasn't dreaming, or anything, it all really happened: he was saving my life, so I was told, and without his help, I would never have been able to reach the midnight dance in time and save the magic flute of Day.

Yeah, that one's pretty bad.

[Judg]

But I think the Lifetime Dumbest Sentence Award, and Silliest Dialogue Tag goes to (drum roll) Robert Ludlum:

"I repeat," he repeated.

Top that one, you amateurs!I don't know. It might work, in the proper context. Especially if he's been trying to break in and make his point for a while.

Yes, I do specialize in being difficult. Sorry.

[Bartholomew]

But I think the Lifetime Dumbest Sentence Award, and Silliest Dialogue Tag goes to (drum roll) Robert Ludlum:

"I repeat," he repeated.

Top that one, you amateurs!

Ludlum had a strange sense of humor. :)

[Adagio]

I searched for this thread again as I am working on a second draft. I found one gem that I HAD to share.

He nodded his eyes, understandingly.
Hack, cough... Alright! Who wrote this tripe! Wait... (gulp) It was me!


Ain't this sweet? How about my gem:

She flew her eyes over there.

Adagio goes into hiding. Sack cloth and ashes on top of her head.

[Mr. Horror]

It was a dark and stormy night...

Surely others have done that cliched and overused bad beginning? Admittedly, I've never used it outside of the Creative Writing assignments I was given at six years of age, but still...

I remember my six year old self thinking it was such a dramatic start.

Then there's my favourite beginning:

Lightning stabbed among the peaks, like an old man trying to get an elusive blackberry pip out of his false teeth.

[Willowmound]

The title of this thread is a pretty poor sentence...

[maestrowork]

I don't feel comfortable airing my dirty underpants.

(the above is a statement, not a bad sentence from my work!)

[Elektra]

It was a dark and stormy night...

Surely others have done that cliched and overused bad beginning? Admittedly, I've never used it outside of the Creative Writing assignments I was given at six years of age, but still...

I remember my six year old self thinking it was such a dramatic start.


A Wrinkle in Time starts thusly, which, perhaps, is why I've never thought it all that terrible a sentence.

[Jenan Mac]

I don't feel comfortable airing my dirty underpants.


:ROFL: What a writing prompt that would make!

[Kida Adelyne]

I was going to find a really awful sentance from my first novel, but my eyes burned out after reading the first paragraph.

[DeadlyAccurate]

The first sentence of my first book qualifies:

"The air echoed with the sound of clashing steel as two men battled in a valley between green-brown hills."

[farfromfearless]

From the first sentence of my my grade 11 short story about vampires: "Vampires suck."

[DeadlyAccurate]

That sounds like an awesome first sentence, fff.

[farfromfearless]

My English teacher did not find any humor it in, then again, I doubt he liked vamps either (13 years later, I find I detest them as well.)

[Soccer Mom]

From the first sentence of my my grade 11 short story about vampires: "Vampires suck."

Bwahahaha! :D brilliant.


Werewolves bite.