Moon Daughter
01-28-2007, 07:09 AM
Hey everyone. I don't know if this is the right place to post this, so forgive me if it isn't. I've been writing a story for the past two years on and off and I was hoping to get opinions from other people--especially those who actually enjoy reading/writing. Anyways, I'm just posting the prologue. If anyone has any comments and/or suggestions, I'll be happy to hear them. Thanks.
It was 2:11 in the morning when Riley’s father heard the phone ring. Riley didn’t hear the phone go off, but she could hear something else-- something sad. She got up to discover the source of this noise and crept out of bed, opening her bedroom door just a little. Her father stood in the hallway, the phone was by his side. She noticed the cord was wrapped around his hand, which he only did when he was nervous. Anxiety started to grow in her chest. Her father made a sudden movement that almost blew her cover, but she regained her step and continued to watch. Her father lifted his arm back up again, placing the phone to his ear.
“Are you sure it’s her? There must be some mistake,” he suggested while soft sobs escaped his mouth.
Her father had turned his head sideways, giving Riley a profile view of his face. Even in the darkness, she could see his cheeks were wet. A pain started to sting in her chest as she thought about all the possibilities. Her mother had gone away for a business trip and said she’d be back by the next day. Riley wondered if the conversation was about her. She leaned in more intently, wanting to know the answers to the millions of questions that were flooding into her mind.
“Thank you. We’ll be there in the morning.” He hung up the phone and let his face burrow into his hands.
Riley could tell that he was trying hard not to cry too loud, and that’s when it hit her. Her mother was dead.
It was 2:11 in the morning when Riley’s father heard the phone ring. Riley didn’t hear the phone go off, but she could hear something else-- something sad. She got up to discover the source of this noise and crept out of bed, opening her bedroom door just a little. Her father stood in the hallway, the phone was by his side. She noticed the cord was wrapped around his hand, which he only did when he was nervous. Anxiety started to grow in her chest. Her father made a sudden movement that almost blew her cover, but she regained her step and continued to watch. Her father lifted his arm back up again, placing the phone to his ear.
“Are you sure it’s her? There must be some mistake,” he suggested while soft sobs escaped his mouth.
Her father had turned his head sideways, giving Riley a profile view of his face. Even in the darkness, she could see his cheeks were wet. A pain started to sting in her chest as she thought about all the possibilities. Her mother had gone away for a business trip and said she’d be back by the next day. Riley wondered if the conversation was about her. She leaned in more intently, wanting to know the answers to the millions of questions that were flooding into her mind.
“Thank you. We’ll be there in the morning.” He hung up the phone and let his face burrow into his hands.
Riley could tell that he was trying hard not to cry too loud, and that’s when it hit her. Her mother was dead.