The sounds of silence..

[scripter1]

..... ers.

As in the ones you place on a gun.

I've got this scene where a guy bursts into a room and just empties his gun into the villian. When the gun is empty he keeps pulling the trigger, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK.

I wanted to contrast the sound of the empty chamber with the muted sounds of the gun firing.

Any ideas?

[clockwork]

Actually, many guns won't continually click, click, click once they are out of bullets. The slide locks back into place preventing the trigger from being fired until a new clip is inserted and the slide released. But assuming yours does, I remember writing something to this effect once before and I wrote something like, "Jon pulls the trigger but the gun is empty, dry-firing over and over."

Regarding the actual sound, movies give the impression that silencers (or supressors as they are more technically known) result in a squeaking sound whereas they are more akin to a sharp snapping sound, in my opinion. More experienced gun-nuts will be able to more accurately describe it.

As for the writing, I see nothing wrong with the click, click, clicks you have.

[Meerkat]

Speaking of "silence," welcome back, Chris!

As for the gun, there are many different types of silencers, of various success, so you can play with sounds in print and be right. The clicking on the empty chamber works for revolvers, but not automatics.

[dpaterso]

Dozens of fun ways to do this... pick whichever you like best.

Jake kicks the door open and aims his silenced Uzi at Kurt, who claws at his shoulder holster--

Jake SHOOTS, Kurt dances in the stream of bullets until the Uzi's magazine is empty, the slide CLICKS repeatedly.

Kurt has more holes in him than a Swiss cheese. He slides down the wall leaving bloody streaks.

JAKE
That one's for Rembrandt, you son
of a bitch.

-Derek

[NikeeGoddess]

it doesn't matter what sound words you use. just so it's clear what is making that sound. i would go with

POOF! POOF! POOF! for a silencer or something like that sound which compares to the CLICK of an empty gun.

[Winterchase]

Jake SHOOTS, Kurt dances in the stream of bullets until the Uzi's magazine is empty, the slide CLICKS repeatedly.


With an Uzi, or an Ingram for that matter, it ain't gonna happen unless the shooter pulls the slide back to make sure it didn't jam. A clip can be emptied, BTW, in about 1.3 seconds.

With a "noise suppressor," a/k/a "silencer," at best it's gonna be loud enough to wake the dead, or the lady seated nearest the curtain where the shooter is hiding. The problem with silences in real life, even with a Carswell, is that they also tend to blow up in your hand after a few quick rounds because of internal compression which flatens the steel wool, crushes the webbed tubing, which blows out the baffels and directs the energy and little pieces of stray metal out at the weakest point - where it is soldered on to the barrel with the threaded tube - and sends it all back at the person holding the damned thing. Frankly, a flash-hider on a .22 S or even LR works better at keeping the racket down, but it ain't as showy.

[dpaterso]

Ah c'mon, this is the movies, whatever looks (and sounds) cool wins!

-Derek

[Rich]

Why not just stab the bastard?

Or the good guy. There's a built-in silince in a knife.

[Joe270]

I agree with dpat, but for a slightly different reason. It's the movies, do what they do, what the audience has grown to expect. Silencers make a spitting sound in Hollywood.

But, if you want to know:
1.Only a revolver will go click click click.

2.I fired a silenced .22 a few times. You could not hear the cartridge explosion at all, the slide on the semi-auto was the only sound I noticed. Still, it was louder than I expected it to be.

3.Military suppressed full autos really sound weird. There is a snapping sound, but also a prolonged hiss . . . I suppose that's the gases escaping. Again, I dunno. Seems I don't know a great deal.

A knife seems the perfect option. Still, a hundred movies have used a pillow to effectively silence high-calibre handguns. I doubt it would work in real life very well, but it does in the movies.

[icerose]

As Joe said only revolvers can dry fire and it wears on the gun like no other. All other guns that I have come in contact with lock it back.

On the pillow thing, if you bury it into the pillow it will muffle quite a bit of the sound.

And knives work great.

[Joe270]

Jeez, Ice, you're scaring me.

Sounds like experience talking, there.

[scripter1]

double post

[scripter1]

MOBETTA
Looks like I’m gonna get away
with it. Spliff is next, then
that backstabbin’ 40 Cal, and
just for fun ya little man Swift.
And you know what I think? I
think the cops will pin it on
Casino.

HOTROD
You’re just the man with the plan.

Mo’betta grins. Cocks the gun.
HR dives for cover.

WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!

Flesh spurts from Mo’s chest.
He takes a step forward. SPASMS.
Empties his gun into the wall.

Falls.

Swift stands in the doorway. Scared spitless.
Pulls the trigger fast as he can.

CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK.

HR gets up.
Looks at Mo. Looks at Swift.

CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK.

HR pries the gun from his fingers.

Swift throws up.

Several beats.

HOTROD
Welcome to the merry go round.

[scripter1]

pillows and knives won't work.

Swift just kind of reacts, then panics and gets stuck.

It's the WHAP that I don't like. I think it should be more of a spit sound.

I really wanted to go for the VISUAL writing of the sounds, to really pound home the image of it happening over and over and over.
That Swift is stuck.

So what I'm really looking for here is a way to articulate the sound.

The shooting happens in an apt where a kickin stero bumps gangsta rap.
(natural cover for the shots.)

[Joe270]

It works. I agree, the whap is wimpy.

Make up the sound, try something akin to: sshtat, schtact, wabap, shtach, chacack. Have some of the sound the slugs stiking the body while the gunshot is a whisper.

Hey, I don't write this kind of stuff, but you're getting me into it. Good job.

The sound of the slugs striking the target louder than the shot itself is cool. Sorta nasty, but sorta Q. Tarentino.

Make it up, you got the talent. Try something new.

[scripter1]

Ug. Wasn't intentional.
I guess if someone liked it, wanted to buy it for that reason then I would grin and say "Sure it is!"

It's just basic action, in the tone of the story.
The twists and turns of hood life.

Yeah, I think some of your suggestions will work.
Break it up even more.
But I'd still start with the effects on Mo because the scene is from HR's perspective.

Maybe one or two silenced shots when we go to Swift and then the clicks.

Glad you enjoyed it.
Thanks!

[NikeeGoddess]

not that i'd know... but since you're all into specifics -- i don't think in this instance that the flesh (or even blood) would spurt. as the bullets enter his chest it would make a cavity inward and out the back.

scripter - i thought you didn't put violence into your scripts. i guess you've had a change of heart ;)

write on!

[C.bronco]

As Joe said only revolvers can dry fire and it wears on the gun like no other. All other guns that I have come in contact with lock it back.

On the pillow thing, if you bury it into the pillow it will muffle quite a bit of the sound.

And knives work great.
A plastic 2 liter bottle (empty of course) works as a silencer if you tape it to the barrel, but don't try that at home.
And never, ever fire at a metal plow or other concave metal object; the bullet will come right back at you and you'll shoot your eye out.

And I think the sound is Pfft.

[NikeeGoddess]

btw - this ain't nothing like QTarentino - have you seen the previous for his next flick?! they jam a machine gun on this woman's amputated leg and she continues using it as a weapon. how freaky is that?!!!!

[dpaterso]

My kind of woman.

-Derek

[Bmwhtly]

My kind of woman.

-DerekThat's pretty **cked up right there.

[Hillgate]

..... ers.

As in the ones you place on a gun.

I've got this scene where a guy bursts into a room and just empties his gun into the villian. When the gun is empty he keeps pulling the trigger, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK.

I wanted to contrast the sound of the empty chamber with the muted sounds of the gun firing.

Any ideas?

Leave it to the director:)

[NikeeGoddess]

no, leave it up to the sound guys - that actually get academy awards for that.

[icerose]

Jeez, Ice, you're scaring me.

Sounds like experience talking, there.

Hehe, sorry Joe. I've only shot one person in my life.

As for all this other stuff, I have a close friend who was a navy seal for 8 years, 3 marine buddies, my husband was in the army, my sister was in the air force, and my grandfather grew up in the wild wild west. So I have a whole lot of people to draw from.

[dpaterso]

That's pretty **cked up right there.
Sense of humor intended; it's tough to take a scenario with a woman with a machine gun attached to her amputated leg seriously, that's like something out of a cartoon, not shocking, not horrifying, more meep meep. Yet I have faith that QT will somehow turn it into an amusing and memorable kick-ass action scene.

-Derek

[Joe270]

Hehe, sorry Joe. I've only shot one person in my life.

Yeah, well, I've only shot one person, too. Regretably it was myself.

Bronco, don't shoot at sheet metal, either. Some friends and I were shooting up stuff at an illegal dumping site. I put one into a washer machine and it came back and bit me.

It was that same .22 which later got a real silencer on it.

[scripter1]

Swift shoots Mo in the back at fairly close range and the bullets burst out of Mo's chest. (Entry hole much smaller then exist hole.)

Um, yeah, I guess I've had a change of heart, sorta.

Still, if you remember the brumbie script I got pretty graphic with the scene where the Parks people shot up the herd. That was my first script.

I don't like violence and graphic blood shows just for the heck of it.
(like what Tarentino is doing with Crankfest)

This is a pivotal, shocking scene. A real moment in Swift's life.
So, I didn't just want to breeze over it with a simple:
Swift fires repeatedly.
Mo dies.

[scripter1]

is a pretty nasty looking character.
I don't know who the actress is but she is darn freaky.

The previews (not previous, scripter just shakes her head)
for the film are mind numbingly over the top. Even worse then Kill Bill.
It's pure junk B film, BUT it's classic Tarentino.

Aside from being really nasty looking it would be near impossible for this woman to actually be a threat.

Watch out! I'll shoot your ankles off!
No wait, maybe if I spread my legs and lift my hip up enough I can get your groin. Die @#$@#$#@!

Hmm, how does she trigger the firing mechanism?

On the flip side of Tarentino despisment I think he's crafted the perfect character role for old what's his name..... Kurt Russel. He plays a race car driver who kills babes with specially designed car.
I think the line is "You can survive any crash in this car. But the thing is, you have to be in MY seat to get that benifit"

I saw the previews for Crankfest at the showing of Ghost Rider.
I wish I could get bleach in to my brain.

[icerose]

Yeah, well, I've only shot one person, too. Regretably it was myself.


Ouch, sounds painful. I learned when I was five not to shoot at anything that could possibly ricochett. I shot an intruder when I was home alone, 7 months pregnant, husband working graveyards. There was no way that *#$&$#$ was coming inside!

Anyway...

As for QT, I stopped watching his stuff after Kill Bill. Just way too over the top and nothing of his has looked interesting enough to watch since.

[C.bronco]

Yeah, well, I've only shot one person, too. Regretably it was myself.

Bronco, don't shoot at sheet metal (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/sheet%20metal), either. Some friends and I were shooting up stuff at an illegal dumping site. I put one into a washer machine (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/washer%20machine) and it came back and bit me.

It was that same .22 which later got a real silencer on it.
Thanks. Since I moved out of the Poconos, however, you need not worry. (I was just trying to blend at he time) HOWEVER, a 1976 Monte Carlo (whose engine had bee pulled and was dead in the driveway) did see the wrath of a .22 (okay, lame, we could have used a higher caliber) and went to the junkyard looking highly suspect. It died without a fight.

[Joe270]

I was only hit with tiny shavings of lead. Still knocked me around, left one hell of a bruise, but didn't penetrate. Went trough several layers of denim, through that useless coin pocket deal, but the shavings were just laying on the skin beneath.

Damn, Ice, pistol-packin' mama.

[icerose]

Damn, Ice, pistol-packin' mama.

Actually it was a .270 Can't miss with that rifle unless you try and it certainly leaves it's mark. I only shot him in the arm though as I didn't want to kill him and his buddies, I just wanted them to leave me alone, which they did.

[Joe270]

I dunno, Ice, I sorta pictured that icon of yours blasting away with an AK47.

"Come on, ya thievin' bastages, eat lead."

[scripter1]

I bow to you.
You the momma!



Jeez though, what a scary experience.


Nothing Tarentino does interests me either.

[icerose]

I dunno, Ice, I sorta pictured that icon of yours blasting away with an AK47.

"Come on, ya thievin' bastages, eat lead."

Lol, well we only got the AK47 this last year and I recieved an SKS Dragonov for a christmas present. I love it!!!!! Then I gotta learn how to shoot the pistol, I'm great with rifles, I just can't hit the broad side of a barn with a hand gun yet...of course I've only fired like 3 rounds in my whole life.

Hehe thanks scripter, I just can't stand the idea of being a victim and I couldn't let anyone hurt my unborn child.

[Joe270]

I can give you two tricks to practice which will vastly improve your accuracy. Neat tricks to practice, and you need not burn up expensive ammo. I'll pm them to you, I don't want to public post them.

Of course, then I might be liable for substantially reducing the surplus population of outback Utah. Hmm.

[scripter1]

it's pretty easy.

You just point the business end where you want the bullet to go and pull the trigger.

That's what I learned from this little old lady who protected her grandkids from a burgler. The guy pulled a knife, she pulled a little .22, pointed it at his face and warned him not to take another step. He laughed, stepped, and she put two bullets right through his eye.

When questioned by the police why she shot him in the eye she just said "That's where I had it pointed at."

Read it in the NRA mag.

Me personally, if anyone breaks in I'm going for the double barelled shot gun. If I miss, and the BOOM doesn't bring help fast enough I can club em to death with it.

[Joe270]

You got it, Scripter, a shotgun is the best way to go, pump type preffered. Many articles have mentioned bad guys crapping their tightie whities when the action is racheted.

An unarmed security guard in Houston back in 1984 got four bad guys to lay on the floor until cops arrived by ratcheting the credit card slide and yelling freeze.

It scares the heck out of me, in Vegas where the houses are styrofoam and a thin layer of stucco, that my nieghbors have jacketed magnums. Not good, bad weapon choice.

I go with my trusty .45 auto. The slide is scary enough, but the explosion would make anyone crap themselves. Short range, won't go through ten or twelve houses if I miss.

[scripter1]

too funny!

Bet the bad guys were embarassed when they learned there was no gun.

[icerose]

That is hilarioius Joe. Don't worry, most of the people around here are very nice. Even the head shaved, tattooed, biker dudes won't hesitate to stop and help out if your car is broken down on the side of the road.

I would have gone for the pump action shot gun but we were out of rounds and I wasn't going to trust my safety purely on sound, they were going to feel me if they were going to threaten me.

I can't wait to actually be able to shoot a handgun properly. My husband bought a .40 caliber and that is one heavy handgun. I always thought I had rather large hands but this gun actually makes them look dainty. Might have to get a smaller one that fits better in my hands eventually but it'll be good for practice.

[Hillgate]

From the sound of it, there's going to be a writer's bloodbath, Adaptation-meets-Reservoir Dogs style. Are you guys really happy having firearms in your house? I prefer dogs. The only butts they're interested in are their own. ;)

[icerose]

I grew up in a home with fire arms, my husband grew up in a home with firearms. It is just a part of life around here.

As for dogs, we live in an appartment, and we've nearly been robbed twice in the last six years. Guns were the only things that kept them from coming into our house with me and the kids. And I'm also allergic to dogs, unfortunately. I love them, but I'm allergic.

[Joe270]

I have a dog. She's a border collie named Brandy.

On the day we bought her, I suggested, in jest, Whiskey for a name. Rejected unanimously. Then I said Brandy, and everyone liked it. Go figure.

Border collies are exceptionally smart dogs. Not Brandy. This dog is dumb as a post. She'd be overjoyed to have burglars visit our home.

I don't consider myself over-armed. I only have two samurai swords a relative collected off the beaches in WWII, the .45 auto and a Smith&Wesson .38 snub-nosed revolver.

The revolver is ultra-cool. It has 'England' stamped on it and little crowns on the cylinder. I never found out how he came by it, must have traded his issue revolver for it. My uncle took the surrender of Martinique in WWII with it. Seriously.

He and another USN policeman were sent ashore as an advance party to see how bad the resistance might be. The governor met them on the dock and surrendered. Ah, those nutty French dudes. Of course, the official surrender was staged later for the newreels.

[scripter1]

who really wants to hurt you or take your stuff will kill the dog.
The bigger the dog, almost the easier it is. More body to knife.

You want a security dog then get a tiny yappy thing.
Impossible to catch and noisy as h@!^

BUT, you point a gun and say "Out you filthy bastages" MEAN IT
and they'll not likely take the chance.

Thing is, if you've got a gun, and you point a gun at a bad guy, be willing to pull the trigger. SEVERAL TIMES.

[scripter1]

Chow/Lab mix that cowered and pissed on the floor when my Dad "broke" into the house. He proclaimed the dog worthless (though he was grateful it didn't bite him.) Several months later a feral St Bernard came into the yard and growled at me. My worthless mutt went nuts and chased the brute halfway down the street.

My Dad actually owns the dog now and they are best buds. Says he's the smartest dog he's ever owned.

I personally own a Glock, a Phoniex, and a little .22 Eagle or something ever. One of those tiny sneak in your purse or down your sock type things.
My husband has a rifle collection, several Glocks, and two shotguns.

While not armed to the teeth we could hold the fort for a little while.

[Joe270]

A good friend of mine, who became a famous 'wrestler' once shot a guy with a .357 magnum. He worked as a security guard for his family's constuction company and this crane made noise which attracted cats. He constantly had to climb it to rescue the dumbass cats. He was up there, feline in hand, when he saw a perp go in to his home, where the safe was, gun in hand. He climbed down to find the guy squatting, trying to open said safe.

He shot him through both butt cheeks.

The police envolment was insane. It wouldv'e been easier if he'd just killed the guy.

[dpaterso]

...when he saw a perp go in to his home, where the safe was, gun in hand. He climbed down to find the guy squatting, trying to open said safe.

He shot him through both butt cheeks.

The police envolment was insane. It wouldv'e been easier if he'd just killed the guy.
If the intruder hadn't been armed, I'd guess your friend would have been in a whole heap of different trouble. The fact the intruder went in visibly armed changes things, obviously. But... it's an unusual way to incapacitate a guy with a gun, no? No guarantee he wouldn't get off a lucky reflex shot. "Will he be able to walk again, doctor?" "Sure, but he'll never be able to sit down." Uh, apologies for that on-the-nose dialogue.

-Derek

[Joe270]

The bandit had laid his shotgun down on my friend's bunk right next to the safe. So I suppose, technically, he was unarmed at the time of the butt shot. His reasoning, as I recall, was to move him out of reach of the shotgun.

The trailer was in the middle of a huge construction yard surrounded by chain link fence and barbed wire. I think that fact helped. Also, my friend and his father practiced shooting at the Police Range, so they knew he could have put a round right through both eardrums instead.

He said the worst part was climbing back down the crane, .357 in one hand and a ticked off tabby in the other. I guess by that time he was bound to shoot somebody.