accenting dialogue

[lastlight]

Hello,
Alrighty, in my signature you'll see "Ghetto - Screenplay", the lead female (who is also the main character) is from England, but has to move to America about 20 or so minutes in. I'm American, and have been told I "speak American, not English" (haha), so I need help in writing her dialogue. I know that people in England use different words then we Americans (eg. plastic - credit card) but I don't know them! Also, I read that when in screenplays a character has an obvious accent, to put emphasis on it, and I don't know how to that with my English character. Can someone help? Thanks much.

-Ed Faris.

[Maryn]

Hi, Ed. The good news is, it's not that hard. The bad news is, it's work nevertheless.

American versus British English is only partly a matter of accent--how certain words are pronounced differently. A part of it is different words for the same objects, as you know. Other aspects are word choice and word order.

You need to identify which British accent your transplanted character has, then immerse yourself in both print and film which demonstrates it until you can imitate it passingly well, in your mind if not aloud.

One thing I find helpful is putting the dialogue I write into the mouth of an actor who's got exactly the accent I want. If I can imagine it flowing clearly, I'm probably fairly close. If I can't, I'm generally way, way off.

When you're ready for beta readers, make sure to include some Brits in the mix.

Maryn, wishing she could offer more help

[dpaterso]

This is maybe worth a casual look, if you haven't already seen it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_and_British_English_differences

Where in England is your character from? There's at least a dozen distinctive regional accents.

-Derek

[scarletpeaches]

Used to live in England myself, still travel there from time to time and I agree with the regional differences thing. Not only that but there's dialogue and slang to think of, both of which vary within a teeny-tiny radius.

What sort of phrases were you thinking of? I'm not English myself of course but I'm right next door in Scotland. :D

[Joe Calabrese]

Write it in American, then when finished, go back and speckle some of those fancy words Derek sent you the link to. If that's not enough, then have a Brit look it over and ask for advice.

Or, you can just leave it in American and let the reader know (which you should anyway) that she's British. Let the dialog coach figure it out.

I personally would do the first comment I made.

[nganok]

the Script to Snatch is not a bad reference

[Joe270]

I still like "Gym Dandies".

It fits.

How the hell did this post get here?

[Joe270]

That's really wierd, I posted this on a different thread.

Doo, doo, doo, do.

[scripter1]

Write the script out in American first and just put in a description of where she is from and that she has an English accent.

What ever you do DON'T spell out her accent phonetically or get really "creative" with trying to write the accent. It looks realy silly. The actress will do the research to get the character close.

Now search the American to British dictionary or find someone from Britain to help you get the slang right.

DD seems to have quite a few British writers and if you shot them over a list of words they might be willing to retranslate for you.

[scarletpeaches]

...except what you have to remember is that 'British' doesn't just cover English, so if you ask for British slang you need to specify whether you want Scottish, Welsh or English.

[Tig]

I use this translator, hope it helps.

http://www.whoohoo.co.uk/main.asp

Tig

[dpaterso]

Neat site, Tig.

I had a few moments of fun with the Scottish "translator" using a couple of random samples:

"Excuse me, could you tell me the time, please?"
= Ho ye, coods ye teel me th' time, please?
(I'd actually say, "Hey pal, got the time?")

"Now listen to me, son, put down that knife, or you'll find yourself in some real trouble."
= Noo listen tae me, son, pit doon 'at chib, ur yoo'll fin' yerself in some real trooble.
(I'd actually say, "Put doon the blade or I'll shove it up yer arse ye wee nyaff.")

"Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship, Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange, new worlds. To seek out new life, and new civilizations. To boldly go, where no man has gone before!"
= Space, th' final frontier. these ur th' voyages ay th' starship, enterprise. its five-year mission: tae explair strange, new worlds. tae seek it new life, an' new civilizations. tae boldly gang, whaur nae cheil has gain afair!
Actually that's not bad, I could hear Scotty saying it. :)

The word substitutions could help fool a reader into feeling there's a dialect thing going on. But it's just a trick. I wouldn't recommend to anyone that they include this kind of thing in a screenplay anyway.

-Derek

[Joe Calabrese]

Use jargon and accents very sparingly.

In my The Eyes of Mara script, I have the British soldiers speak straight English (American). The officers speak more formally and the enlisted men more common, but in both cases I use very little specialized words for fear of making the script hard to read.

I have the occasional bollock (for balls), and the Sergeant says Yer instead of You're, and I added some odd things like Mind your Pints and Quarts -- the origin of Mind your P's and Q's)

As for the Indians, They speak pretty much like the officers, formal like, but I drop an adverb or adjective here and there to make it sound like broken English, but again only once and a while for flavor.

Flavor is key.

You wouldn't put a ton of salt in a recipe and like salt or pepper you should only put a pinch of jargon or special words in any script. The reader must read it effortlessly otherwise it will be hard to understand.

Let the actors and their dialog coaches figure out the nuances of the language.

[Stylo]

Neat site, Tig.

I had a few moments of fun with the Scottish "translator" using a couple of random samples:

"Excuse me, could you tell me the time, please?"
= Ho ye, coods ye teel me th' time, please?
(I'd actually say, "Hey pal, got the time?")

"Now listen to me, son, put down that knife, or you'll find yourself in some real trouble."
= Noo listen tae me, son, pit doon 'at chib, ur yoo'll fin' yerself in some real trooble.
(I'd actually say, "Put doon the blade or I'll shove it up yer arse ye wee nyaff.")

"Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship, Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange, new worlds. To seek out new life, and new civilizations. To boldly go, where no man has gone before!"
= Space, th' final frontier. these ur th' voyages ay th' starship, enterprise. its five-year mission: tae explair strange, new worlds. tae seek it new life, an' new civilizations. tae boldly gang, whaur nae cheil has gain afair!
Actually that's not bad, I could hear Scotty saying it. :)

The word substitutions could help fool a reader into feeling there's a dialect thing going on. But it's just a trick. I wouldn't recommend to anyone that they include this kind of thing in a screenplay anyway.

-Derek

That's so funny Derek!.. or should I say 'That's sae funay.'

[Tig]

Neat site, Tig.

The word substitutions could help fool a reader into feeling there's a dialect thing going on. But it's just a trick. I wouldn't recommend to anyone that they include this kind of thing in a screenplay anyway.

-Derek

Duly noted: hand slapped.

Tig :)

[WarrenP]

I'd try to limit it (the local phrases and jargon) as much as possible, unless you can work it into the story.

For example, I don't know anyone from London (My sister and her family lives there, we travel there pretty frequently) who wouldn't say, "standing in the queue." However, in the US, that is "standing in the line." So, you could use that in the story.

If your character is from London, she would (again from my anecdotal experience) naturally say queue, so you can have her say that at some store, and this starts a conversation (good or bad) with another customer.

If you don't think you can base any story points around it, then skip it as much as possible, just make the character's origins know and leave it at that.

Lastly, if you are well beyond this point with your script, please ignore this post, and let the proper authorities know, so that the poster may be sacked. Thank you.

[Stylo]

Actually Lastlight, I'm also writing a screenplay where the protagonist is an English woman living in the US (spooky!) As I'm an English woman myself, I don't mind helping you with specifics of your lead's dialogue... let me know if you get stuck... (gingertarantula@msn.com)

[lastlight]

My lead female protagonist is from London. Thing is, her accent is important when it comes to the character. Lots of people make fun of her for it (which end in some brutal fights), so it needs to be obvious. Wording and everything (like Warren mentioned the "queue").
Thanks everyone!

-Ed.

[Joe Calabrese]

Then I would focus on distinctive words and phrases, like fags for cigarettes or queue for line, and not the actual dialect in written form.

You have her (a lead no less, with a lot of dialog) saying stuff like, Noo listen tae me, son, pit doon 'at chib, ur yoo'll fin' yerself in some real trooble. The reader will not understand it.

I can imagine the first time she asks for a cigarette from a homosexual. "Hey buddy, you got a fag for for me?" and he comes back with an "excuse me? You got a problem with my orientation?" "No. I mean a cig-- a smoke..."


Stuff like that is understandable and funny.

[Plot Device]

The movie Fargo with its North Dakota accents had every last "eh?" and "ya know?" scripted right into it. Try this exercise:

1) Listen to LOTS of audio or video with British people talking, and try writing down word-for-word what they say with all their inflections and Britishisms.

2) Try reading some British scripts that have been written by British writers in this manner also.

[Joe Calabrese]

The movie Fargo with its North Dakota accents had every last "eh?" and "ya know?" scripted right into it.

95 out of 100 times, when someone comes up with, "well they did it this way in this produced script, so I guess I can do it too" keep in mind a few things.

Keep in mind

1) Fargo was written by both the director and the producer, so they can pretty much do it anyway they want.

2) The Fargo script available on the web may not be a spec script, but a shooting script or even a transcript.

3) A script written by a well known and well respected pro writer will be read and judged on a different level than one written by a nobody like you (and me). If Akiva Goldsmith wrote a script in pig latin with a purple and green crayon, it would get read and probably optioned on the concept alone.

Bottom line...

Having people speak with a "ya know" or a mild accent is fine as long as it can be understood by the reader. If accents written into a script ever detract from the overall reading or slow the read down or is not understood by the reader, it is not good for your story and definitely not good for you.

[Celia Cyanide]

I agree that you should write her dialog in American English first. Then, the best thing you can do is get a British person to look at it and tell you how it would work better. I used to live in England, and I often see British characters on TV shows and such using Americanisms that they probably wouldn't use, if they hadn't been to America before. Some of them are little things that you might not notice, unless you talked to a British person and observed their speech. For example, I have met many British people who say, "different to," while we usually say, "different from" in America. But I would probably need to ask a few people if that was a regional thing, or what have you. It will vary according to age and where they live.

[Plot Device]

Hey Joe,

I agree about not wanting to detract from a script.
:Sun:



And in meager defense of my claim about Fargo, that was a factoid I learned from either the DVD extras or from a TV news show that referenced Fargo (I don't recall which).

:Shrug:

[WarrenP]

Then I would focus on distinctive words and phrases, like fags for cigarettes or queue for line, and not the actual dialect in written form.

...

I can imagine the first time she asks for a cigarette from a homosexual. "Hey buddy, you got a fag for for me?" and he comes back with an "excuse me? You got a problem with my orientation?" "No. I mean a cig-- a smoke..."


Stuff like that is understandable and funny.


This is exactly what I would do, as it becomes "part" of the story. If you can use the words to advance the story, then use them! If not, they will just end up distracting.

The words themselves can become story elements.

Here is another example. The elevator here in the US is the lift over in London. there are so many of these, you can use this "trick" at any time. She meets someone, and says "Excuse me, where is the lift?" Then, go any direction you want. Actually gives you an easy way into either confrontation, curiosity, etc... Use it to your advantage.

[dpaterso]

30+ years ago, Brit comedian Peter Cook mused about how his "I can't do anything without a fag in my mouth" comment shocked an American audience.

Years later comedian Mel Smith told of how, when he went into bar in NYC and said, "Can you give me a whisky, please? Thank you," he noticed everyone was looking at him as if he'd just landed in a UFO. Other customers would say "Gimme a bourbon!" -- abrupt and to the point, without the customary effete English politeness à la Hugh Grant.

I've been hearing these transAtlantic differences jokes for decades, they've passed into cliché. Any British/English visitor to North America would be aware of them, and if they happened to use the wrong word, would most probably catch it themselves right away. We've all heard Aerosmith's Love In An Elevator. We get it, y'know? :)

Hey Warren, nice to see you here!

-Derek

[NikeeGoddess]

about a year or so ago i saw this Irish flick with a bunch of teenagers and the accent was so thick... Irish ghetto thick! that they subtitled it in English. lots of foul language too. anyone else see this and/or remember the title?

[Joe Calabrese]

Details...

Film a year old or you saw it a year ago?

Names?

Plot?

[lastlight]

Then I would focus on distinctive words and phrases, like fags for cigarettes or queue for line, and not the actual dialect in written form.

You have her (a lead no less, with a lot of dialog) saying stuff like, Noo listen tae me, son, pit doon 'at chib, ur yoo'll fin' yerself in some real trooble. The reader will not understand it.

I can imagine the first time she asks for a cigarette from a homosexual. "Hey buddy, you got a fag for for me?" and he comes back with an "excuse me? You got a problem with my orientation?" "No. I mean a cig-- a smoke..."


Stuff like that is understandable and funny.

Thank you Joe! That is exactly what I mean. I'm not going for the:

Noo listen tae me, son, pit doon 'at chib, ur you'll fin' yerself in some real trooble.

But more of the:
"Hey buddy, you got a fag for me?" (thats actually a very good idea for a short scene...)

You see, she's not a slang talker (like the first eg.) she's from more of the prestigious side of London. She lives on an Estate, goes to a private school, blah blah blah. Thanks again Joe, that's exactly what I was going for.

Thanks to everyone else also, for pitching in their 2 cents.

[xhouseboy]

Thank you Joe! That is exactly what I mean. I'm not going for the:

Noo listen tae me, son, pit doon 'at chib, ur you'll fin' yerself in some real trooble.

But more of the:
"Hey buddy, you got a fag for me?" (thats actually a very good idea for a short scene...)

You see, she's not a slang talker (like the first eg.) she's from more of the prestigious side of London. She lives on an Estate, goes to a private school, blah blah blah. Thanks again Joe, that's exactly what I was going for.

Thanks to everyone else also, for pitching in their 2 cents.

If she's not a slang talker, and hails from the sort of background as you describe, she'd be more inclined to say something like:

'Excuse me, could I trouble you for a ciggie?'

[WarrenP]

...
Hey Warren, nice to see you here!

-Derek


Hey there Derek, nice to see you as well. I was kind of surprise at the many familiar names around here.

I'm just learning the ropes at this fine place. Not sure I have time to be here often, but I'll try to hop in now and again.

[zahra]

Thank you Joe! That is exactly what I mean. I'm not going for the:

Noo listen tae me, son, pit doon 'at chib, ur you'll fin' yerself in some real trooble.

But more of the:
"Hey buddy, you got a fag for me?" (thats actually a very good idea for a short scene...)

You see, she's not a slang talker (like the first eg.) she's from more of the prestigious side of London. She lives on an Estate, goes to a private school, blah blah blah. Thanks again Joe, that's exactly what I was going for.

Thanks to everyone else also, for pitching in their 2 cents.
Sorry to be a pedant, but if you say someone lives on an 'estate' in London, you're talking about what you'd call the projects!! 'Estates', as in big posh houses with cottages and grounds attached, only exist in the countryside. I live in a very posh part of London - the houses go for about £750, 000 for a 4 bed - and honestly, the people still talk slang. It just depends on their age which kind of slang. It's because no-one in the UK wants to be thought of as posh. It's not cool. Feel free to ask me if there's anything specific, or even send me some of the script and I'll check it out for you.

[lastlight]

Interesting zahra...You see when she gets to America (NYC to be specific) she has to live on the east side, aka ghettos. So eventually, she picks up on the slang stuff, both American and English. It's a strange story...