First and last....

[maestrowork]

Never start a story with a boring first line.

Never start a story with a boring first paragraph.

Never end a story with a boring last line.


So, what are your first and last lines, and together, do you think it would "hook" the readers just by the first and last lines?

What do you think?


---

The Pacific Between:

First line: "Betrayal makes us do strange things."
Last line: "I do."

[NeuroFizz]

For the one I just finished (Title = 3.99):

First line:
Have you ever felt an overwhelming urge, a need, to do something totally inappropriate?

Last line:
For me, today was one of those metamorphic days.

[maestrowork]

Now, that sounds interesting.

[ClaudiaGray]

My first: "Today was the first day of school, which meant it was my last chance to escape."

My last: "I'd burn it in a few minutes, but not yet, not just yet."

[Devil Ledbetter]

First line: Clive crouched on the basement floor near his dismantled furnace, fascinated by the young woman on her hands and knees.



Since I'm about 4/5ths of the way through draft two, I don't yet have my final line.

[davids]

first line-Quint’s face left blood scratched into the alley pavement, and Harry's insanity pushed him closer to discovery


last line-“Off to our next adventure dear Paul, off to our next adventure!”.

Beats the heck out of me but so far so good!-not a part of the book-HA!

[David McAfee]

33 A.D.

First Line - They are coming.

Last Line - "I have you now, Pritchard," Ramah said aloud, the words echoing against the walls of the makeshift tomb.


Chosen:

First Line - My death was never reported to the police.

Last Line - in revision.


May 15th:

First Line - Manny Rosado sat on his bunk and waited for the screws to bring in the new fish, knowing one of them would be his cell mate.

Last Line - Not Done w/book yet.

[Jenan Mac]

First: He was tense, had been tense for more than a few days.

Last: But I must, for the generations of us yet to come.

Would it hook anybody? Beats me.

[Jenan Mac]

First line: "Betrayal makes us do strange things."
Last line: "I do."

Someone might observe that those two lines alone are a story.

[ccarver30]

First: :Bloody hell," Alyssa sighed.

Last: "Finally we agree on something."

[Will Lavender]

Someone might observe that those two lines alone are a story.

And a pretty good one, at that.

[Anonymisty]

First line: "Cold waves splashed across the railings, nearly knocking Kestrel over."

Okay, I admit...I broke the rule. I opened with weather.

Last line: "Kestrel put her lips together and began to whistle."

But I ended with music. Is there a rule about that? *grin*

[underthecity]

First line of Ghost Machine:

Greg Sadler wiggled the final vacuum tube into its socket.

Last line: She waved goodbye and got into her car and drove off as police cars, fire engines, and even an ambulance pulled into the formerly quiet neighborhood of Newport Avenue in Pasadena.

That last line has yet to be revised. The first line has been revised and rewritten at least a hundred times.

If you want me to post the last last line, then it's: Scientists are baffled.

That "last last line" comes from an Afterword consisting of two follow-up newspaper articles. The previous last line is the last line of the story.

allen

[Will Lavender]

The last line of my book is a major spoiler, so for those who might (please God) read it when it hits the shelves in early '08, I'll keep that a secret. ;)

First Line of Obedience:

The strange thing about Professor Williams was that nobody had ever seen him.

[Will Lavender]

That "last last line" comes from an Afterword consisting of two follow-up newspaper articles. The previous last line is the last line of the story.

*head explodes*

[Rob B]

First Line: "Fucked"
Last Line: "Goddammit, it was worth it."

108,000 words in between.

[Jack Nog]

I'll bite.

First: "I'll Kill You"

Last: Sometimes, she could just kill her eleven-year old.

Kinda wicked if you think about it.

[WildScribe]

First Line: "Fucked"
Last Line: "Goddammit, it was worth it."

108,000 words in between.

Perfect. :D

[WildScribe]

I'll bite.

First: "I'll Kill You"

Last: Sometimes, she could just kill her eleven-year old.

Kinda wicked if you think about it.

Are you feeling... angry? ;)

[underthecity]

First Line: "Fucked"
Last Line: "Goddammit, it was worth it."

108,000 words in between.

I can't wait to read it. It sounds awesome!

allen

[Jack Nog]

Are you feeling... angry? ;)


LOL nope, I have a one year old. Love him TOO MUCH.

[scribbler1382]

First: Blane sucked in a wheezing breath and increased the pressure on the trigger.
Last: "Sally?" Frank said, dropping to one knee in the morning's dew-strung grass.

[Andre_Laurent]

New WIP.

First line: Julian Wilkes was about to visit hell.

No last line yet.

The other one I'm working on.

First line: He'd done nothing wrong, yet they were going to kill him.

No last line yet.

[Tachyon]

First line: A cacophony of sounds permeated the inn by the roadside, a stark contrast to the bleak and silent rain coming down in torrents outside.

Last line: The sun set on Torsanyn, and the long day ended.

The last one's metaphorical and makes more sense after one has read the entire novel, of course. It basically sums up the consequences of what happens.

[Southern_girl29]

First line, which will probably change because I am in rewrites: Gracie gripped the door knob and turned the handle.

Last line, which again, will probably be changed due to the rewrites: They shared a bond not too many possessed.

[Shady Lane]

Fun!

1st: Josh gestures with his french fry. "It looks like I'm going for the boob squeeze in this one."

Last: I raise my camera and snap the image of my big brother.

[ChaosTitan]

FIRST: Having superpowers abruptly restored after a forced fifteen-year suspension is a lot like childbirth: painful, beautiful, messy, and with lots of screaming.

LAST: After a long nap.

[jodiodi]

Here are my pathetic contributions:

Currently being queried:

First - This must be what it’s like to go mad, she thought. '

Last - “There may be other Companions, but there are no others who can compare to you.”

Current WiPs that have no last line yet:

"Well, your mama's dead."


"Are you insane?"


There was someone in the room again.


The room was pitch black and the sound of wind howling outside came through the thick walls of the palace.


The group of men gathered in the dark, vast hall watched as the pakra, the holy man, lifted the knife, uttering words in the ancient language of his line.


The first gasp was incredibly painful and her fingers clutched the ground spasmodically.


Hmm. I seem to have a lot of stuff in progress. There are a couple I haven't even bothered with since they're under intense revision.

[Shady Lane]

Oh oh, and here's the one that's been accepted (the other was my WIP):

1st: Sunrise is nighttime's crack baby.
Last: I hope you have a nice life. I really, really do. Love, Jack.

[Raphee]

WIP NO. 1: Under edit.
First Line: I loved my grizzly bearded grandfather, my Dada, with his rough farmer’s skin and toothless laugh.

Last Line: And perhaps, just perhaps, I might be able to get Amma to whisper some of her secrets to me tonight.

WIP NO. 2

FIRST: The price for being different is paid in many different ways.

[Inky]

First line: Inzyr raised the severed ghoul's head. "Is this the place?"
Last line: "He...he said father in Lumynari."

Okay, so putting those two lines together could almost qualify for a comedy...perhaps only in my sick, warped mind where little kids play with frog legs...but funny, none-the-less.

[PastMidnight]

I love reading threads like this! Here's my contribution from my WIP:

First line: The bureau refused to leave the bedroom.
Last line: not there yet!

[gp101]

First:
Sex, booze, and eggs.

Last:
It could work.


No idea how I got from the first to the last.

[aruna]

White Night, First line:

When it was all over, every last body counted and flown home, I remembered the white woman on the Witte Zee, and realised that she was Barbara.


(dadadadadadadaddadada 112000 words)

Last line:

WHITE NIGHT

By

Zena Vandermeer.

[seun]

I don't have my current book with me but from memory...

First line: "As his cancer began its last move on his body, George Bryson listened to the sound of his heart beating."

Last line: "Emma was left with the arms around her and the warmth of the garden."

[swvaughn]

Ooh, what a fun thread! All these lines sound like they belong to very interesting stories. I love the variety here at AW.

I'll play too!

First line:

Sometimes, being able to read minds was a pain in the ass.

Last line:

To live.

[ccarver30]

Ooh, what a fun thread! All these lines sound like they belong to very interesting stories. I love the variety here at AW.

I'll play too!

First line:

Sometimes, being able to read minds was a pain in the ass.

Last line:

To live.


ooooohhhhhhhh!!!!!!

[swvaughn]

ooooohhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Awwww... thank you! You made my day. :D

[CaroGirl]

This is fun. I love the responses. I want to read them all!

First line: Harbouring a good secret felt like striding along Main Street without underwear.

Last line: They squeezed each other's hands in private love.

[scribbler1382]

From an older work:

First line: Ray committed his first murder when he was nine years old.

Last line: "Let's go home, baby."

[seun]

An older first and last:

First: 'A long moment passes before Tommo gives me his reply.'
Last: 'Anything else can wait.'

[SinkFulloDishes]

Wow, cool thread! Everybody's got such intriguing lines.

From The Empty Chair (young adult):

first line: As the woman squeezed past my seat, my eyes locked on her bulging belly and stayed riveted there until she turned the corner; even then I kept staring at the curved doorway, my mind refusing to unhinge itself from the thought of the tiny body she held within--soft and warm, safe and loved.

last line: But I realized right then that above all else, he was one of two people brought together by fate, by chance, by drunken stupor, to create a life; and if no other real purpose was served by it, the one that was most important to me was that somewhere down the line, in somebody’s almost-full classroom, I would be there to claim the empty chair.

[NeuroFizz]

For Phoenix:

First: Sievert was out of tomorrows, with no time left to delay his confrontation.
Last: “Maybe we’ll have to keep having children until we get all possible combinations.”


For Something Bad:

First: Gabe leaned forward in the confessional and eased the door open a crack.
Last: Gabe touched his bottle of Pepsi to the three glasses of Jack.


For Agnes Hahn:

First (sorry had to include first two): Agnes Hahn is a donut. In a scone world.
Last: She’s not one of the good ones.


For Imola:

First (again, with two): My name is Agnes Hahn. I’m a serial killer, emasculator of men.
Last: For the first time in her life, she was free.


In progress story:

First: The barrel of the Smith & Wesson tasted like oil.

[MMWyrm]

This is an awesome thread!

From my one finished novel:

1st - “No pets allowed,” a crusty voice bellowed across the barroom. “And ye check yer weapons at the door!”

Last - It swirled through the core of Marcus’ mind and then shot, wings unfurled like banners, skyward, and into his dreams.

[Southern_girl29]

From my trunked novel:

First line: When Max woke that day, his third day in the Army hospital in Tokyo, he realized his head was clearer, and he felt better than he had since he came in. ((This one needs a lot of work, lol))

Last line: I guess there are some ships that don't ever come in. ((This is the perfect last line for this book and will remain the last line if I start to work on it.))

[maestrowork]

From an older work:

First line: Ray committed his first murder when he was nine years old.

Last line: "Let's go home, baby."



I told you not to write my biography! It's not authorized!!!

[Prawn]

Ooo! I'll play!

Across the Green Line

First Line: She heard the water whisper against the wood as she removed her clothes.

Last Line: “You are too good a man to lose a daughter so young.”

Salahadeen Road

First Line: “I want you to wear a wire.”

Last Line: Akiva saw his family in the circle of light, and he walked toward them.

[C.bronco]

I'll bite.

First: "I'll Kill You"

Last: Sometimes, she could just kill her eleven-year old.

Kinda wicked if you think about it.
Is the book about Alec Baldwin?

[janetbellinger]

First line of new story:

"When the first snows fell, Anuk quit nursing from his mother’s breast."


I don't have a last line yet.

[C.bronco]

The Haven

First: "What allowance paid for: two comic books a week or one CD a month."

Last: "With every block and parry, Coffin nearly knocked him off of his feet. Nearly."

[OverTheHills&FarAway]

This makes me depressed about not making a habit of finishing things. . . .

[/I]First: Bass was a pack animal.
Last: But what he really wanted to do was go back to the rock field and carry rocks. It was his favorite thing to do nowadays.

[Gigi Sahi]

First: Life as I knew it ended on August fifteenth.
Last: I wish I could've stayed seventeen forever.

[AncientEagle]

Current WIP:

First: The creak of the fifth stairstep, remembered from childhood, brought him in one flash of movement out of sleep and crouched nude on the far side of the bed, the .357 magnum leveled at the door.

Last: The tiny pink flowers of Aunt Eleanor's favorite wallpaper looked faded and sad beside the obscene scarlet splashes of human blood.

[Lady Esther]

Originally Posted by Jack Nog http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1278802#post1278802)

First: "I'll Kill You"

Last: Sometimes, she could just kill her eleven-year old.



Is the book about Alec Baldwin?


:roll:

[civilian chic]

This IS a fun thread!
First line: Don't hate her because she's beautiful.
Last line: I lifted my face to the inshore breeze and smiled: it was my will.

[BardSkye]

Makes me want to read a whole lot of the books featured here. I'll play. One finished, two in progress.

ICING THE REF

First Line: The hiss of skates working hard and the crack of sticks hitting the ice, the puck, and each other surrounded me.

Last Line: Maybe I would take up chicken ranching.

Working title Tough Call:

First line: The whistle of the stick cutting the air made me duck and pivot.

No last line yet.

Working title Death in Four Parts

First line: In barbershop, everything is in fours, including murder suspects.

No last line yet.

[job]

Leesee

For Spymaster's Lady --

First Line: She was willing to die, of course, but she had not planned to do it so soon, or in such a prolonged and uncomfortable fashion, or at the hands of her own countrymen.

Last line: As he'd promised, he kept her very warm indeed.


For Working Title Jessamyn --

First Line: Once you get a taste for thievery, you never lose it.

Last Line: "Both."

[Anthony Ravenscroft]

Oh, heck, I'll play.

from The Emperor of Portland:

This was before things started to get strange, though.
.
.
.
And that's a good feeling with which to end any day.

[Sage]

AFTRLYF:

First: As the cold steel of the knife slipped between my ribs, I had only one thought: Oh, gods, this is going to create so much paperwork.

Last: I'm Death.

[Lyxdeslic]

First: There is a single question to which we all yearn for the answer.

Last: "Holy...."

The last line seems like a cheap-ploy, I realize. :)

Lyx

[Maryn]

This is indeed interesting.

Brick House
First line: “Abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous,” James said.
Last line: “I’ll tell you exactly what they’re [someone's hands] doing.”

Untitled
First line: Ted would laugh at this, if he wasn't dying.
Last line: I turned my eyes away and pressed the plunger.

Untitled
First line: There’s something you need to understand about me, take it or leave it: I’m not one of you.
Last line: He touched the sticks to the rim and counted, "One! Two! Three! Four!"

I guess you had to be there, huh?

Maryn, who's abandoned both the untitled ones, for now

[Vomaxx]

1st Line: "Her feet pounded on the cracked stone slabs."

Last: (conclusion of a song) "Come on then, boys, let's hear it: Hurrah! To Victory!"

[Argo]

Not to be a jerk, but Rich's proffered caveats are crap (nothing against Rich). I will give you one example:

"Call me Ishmael."

[Anthony Ravenscroft]

Not to be a jerk, but Rich's proffered caveats are crap (nothing against Rich). I will give you one example:

"Call me Ishmael."
It'd help if you

actually state what the hell you're talking about
lay out an actual case

[AnneMarble]

What a cool idea for a thread!

From the Moonstone novel
First: I dreamt of the battle of Fern Hollow again -- such a soft name, such a hard-won victory.

(Will be revised. And yes, I know, I broke the never start with a dream rule. Eeek!)

Last: "Oh shut up." Brodin pulled me to him and kissed me.
(Will be revised.)

(Speaking of breaking rules, I have two alternating first-person narrators, so while the first line is from Brodin's POV, the last is from Moonstone's POV.)

[Kristin Landon]

First:

At dawn, at the slack of the ebb tide, they all went out again to search the beach outside the harbor mouth.

Last:

They flew on, enfolded, toward the new world they would build together.

This is an SF novel being published in June.

What a fun thread! So many intriguing openings and closings.

[Argo]

Um...Tony, you know, the one from which the whole thread has stemmed?

in re to original post by Maestrowork quoting Rich's post verbatim:

(quote)

"Never start a story with a boring line.
Never start a story with a boring first paragraph.
Never end a story with a boring last line."

(end quote)

I don't know how much more obvious I can be. Do you want a flow chart? 20 bucks. There's not exactly a lot of subtext. And I sincerely hope everyone else understands what I'm blatantly implying. But, just in case some troglodyte has managed to stumble his way out of the cave and somehow ruthlessly banged enough keys to wind up reading all this, I'll give it to you straight:

These three "never's" of the original post are absolute crap (again, no offense to Rich or Maestrowork, who posted the caveats; I just see the retardation in the actual "never's"). None of those three lines (again, from the original post) are even remotely true to writing. And, as irrefutable proof, I gave the single greatest example anyone will ever see against the "never's". The first line from Moby Dick: "Call me Ishmael."

Did anyone else not understand what I was saying? Man, I hope so.

[tjwriter]

I don't know why you are being hateful, but as this thread really has nothing to do with the quote that spark its idea. You come across as angry, but then you go on to state an INTERESTING FIRST line of a published work.

You call Rich's statement crap and list an interesting first line which reinforces the statement of never starting a story with a boring line. And it's all great if you think it's boring but several may not. To each his own I guess.

:Shrug:

WIP: Queen of Legends

First Line (subject to change): "I'm used to seeing a few people in the early hours before dawn, but when this doe-eyed girl stepped into the lantern light, I knew it'd mean trouble."

Last Line: None Yet

[Stew21]

Lake Effect:
first: Dani had become a pro at making excuses for her husband's behaviors.

last: The lake existed exactly the same while those who came here changed; it was a constant to judge life by.

Taking Lessons from Ernest: (first draft incomplete, so not pretty)

first: The number sixteen flashing reminded Eric of an insistent four-way stop reflecting off an empty road at 2 AM.

[jdparadise]

Wot the heck...

"Longest Night, Deepest Night"

First
The outlanders bought their welcome in Aynrul with great wagonloads of steel and silver, but all their worldly wealth could not make their ways less strange.

Last
The water was cold, but the song wrapped her in warmth, and as the ocean rose from her knees to her sex to her belly to her breasts to her neck, as the ground disappeared beneath her feet and the sweet, sweet waters closed above her head she felt, for the first time in a very long time, like she was coming home.

"A Wizard's Pride"

First
Martyn Vallat did not know the man-at-arms who laid his meaty hand upon the dove-gray cloth of his tunic sleeve, but that was to be expected.

Last
Martyn Vallat lay in the doorway with the ruins to his right side and the world to his left, and he waited for the night.

[ink wench]

Ooh, first day back after a week without internet and a fun thread awaits.

First line from my WIP, Eyes of the Storm:
Mama always told me I had the eyes of a prince.

No last yet, seeing as I haven't finished the first chapter.

[Thekherham]

First Line: We've been through this before, haven't we?

Last Line: I have never seen Ma cry before.

[Penguin Queen]

This is a fabulous thread! :) And in four cases out of five, it's possible to extrapolate genre and vaguely what the story is about, just from the first & last sentence. I'd like to read half the books/stories in this thread.


OK. Mine:

First The sea is still and grey and green.

Last We sit there in a pew my church, and look at each other.

Cheating somewhat, since this is from my short story collection, thus first & last line dont really have much to do with each other.

Short story, just finished:

First
When she was first put in the white room, she had not known
what to expect.

Last
Hopefully, warily, like cats that aren't sure whether they are going to be kicked or stroked.

(And if anybody wants to read the whole thing, it's down in SYW, Literary).


PQ, who is subtle. ;)

[Oliveman]

This is the soon-to-be revised first line of my book:

On a day much like any other day, the light of a familiar sun began to reach out over the horizon, somewhere past the Sowing Fields and the eastern cliffs that bordered the endless sea.

[Jo]

I've enjoyed reading these posts, and learning from them. I've felt a warmth radiating from the ending of some that's made me smile. All hint at the promise of a good read.

I'll give this another shot. I think I'm happy with my first lines (they come as a package deal ;)), but I'm editing/rewriting, so they're subject to change. Hopefully, I can leave them alone now... :poke:

FIRST: Tahlia waved her hand over Sally’s rigid body and chanted, “You will come to life. You will talk to me. You will play with me--now.”

LAST: Within a mystical blink, the fur on Ralph's face scrunched into a wink.

[callalily61]

From Don't Look Back (the other two books are still WIPs):

First line: "Crucify her!"

Last line: This time Siobhan smiled.

[Novelist in Paradise]

First: "I don't know."

Last: "I still don't know and probably never will."

The in between part hasn't been written yet.

[ChaosTitan]

From "Ace's Wild."

First: "Who's got the friggin' fire extinguisher?"
Last: The real world could wait a while.

[Jordygirl]

I'm only done with my first draft, but hey, here goes nothing.

First Line (sentence): Jasmine and Caris Hart were sisters.

Last Line (sentence): It gives you something to count on.

Of course, seeing as how it's my first draft, both or either are apt to change. And the first line is from my prologue.

[jedimaster107]

Mind Games
first line: A heavy, dark haze surrounded everything like an emptied void.
last line: A life of quietness, love and happiness.


A Haunting Night
first line: Smell that? The sent of decay and death is almost upon us.
last line: Pain. . . Darkness. . .


One of Us
first line: Pounding. Darkness. For as long one could see and hear.
last line: “Welcome to the family, Tim. You are now one of us.”


Thief of the Storm
first line: Four large men stood before the door.
last line: I learned my lesson and that is to be picky about who I take on as a client. Time to
make some bunnies dance.


The Neighbor
first line: The noise from the street filtered in through the open windows.
last line: With that said, he turned back around and descended the stairs.

[astonwest]

“I’m telling you, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I’d enjoyed killing him.

[maestrowork]

From a short story:

1st: Jerald took a long drag of his Marlboro.

last: "Coma."