Any Uwe Boll fans here?

[Plot Device]

It seems he's about to embark upon "Alone in the Dark 2."

http://news.filefront.com/uwe-boll-plans-alone-in-the-dark-2-the-world-shudders/


Funny. I assumed the first one was a flop.




(And is it pronounced "oo-vey bowl" or "oo-vey ball"???)



::EDIT::

Yep. The first one was DEFINITELY a flop.

http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=aloneinthedark.htm

Numbers don't lie.

[Bmwhtly]

Any Uwe Boll fans here? Or, indeed anywhere?


What? I'm not allowed ONE joke at his expense?

[Plot Device]

Or, indeed anywhere?


What? I'm not allowed ONE joke at his expense?

:D

[-XL-]

I seem to recall mention of the first one being produced through German tax loopholes that meant it cost next to nothing.

If Uwe wants a project to make money I, and I'm sure many other people, would pay to see him torn to shreds by monsters.

[Bmwhtly]

I seem to recall mention of the first one being produced through German tax loopholes that meant it cost next to nothing.They all are. As I remember,it means that investments are insured by the german governement. So when the film tanks, they get all their money back. If the film makes money they get profit. And the whole thing is tax-deductable.

[dpaterso]

Just asking, has anyone watched Alone in the Dark (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0369226/)? I keep hoping it shows up somewhere so I can see the horror for myself.

-Derek

[ALLWritety]

I have never heard of him or the movie!!!
I think I will live!!
K

[nmstevens]

Just asking, has anyone watched Alone in the Dark (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0369226/)? I keep hoping it shows up somewhere so I can see the horror for myself.

-Derek

Imagine being stuck in an unwashed airplane bathroom with your most annoying relative while he tells you an incredibly boring pointless story for two endless hours and you'll have some inkling of what it's like sitting through "Alone in the Dark" or, for that matter, any Uwe Boll movie.

The very fact that Germany keeps letting this guy make movies is enough justification, as far as I'm concerned to reconvene the war crimes tribunal.

NMS

[Bmwhtly]

Just asking, has anyone watched Alone in the Dark (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0369226/)? I've seen it... In the discount bin. :ROFL:

[jodiodi]

I've seen Alone in the Dark. I played the game it was based on and had high hopes. I didn't know about the director's touch of death at the time. People walked out of the movie and I was so disappointed. However, it's a great MST3K-fest if you want to make it such. I felt sorry for Christain Slater and figured he must be behind on the mortgage. But Tara Reid as an archeologist? Please. "Yes, they picked that up in New Found Land." (not Newfoundland)

As a friend of mine said, it was so bad it was radioactively bad and caused his brain to shrivel up from the radioactivity and fall out his nose.

[Rainy Night]

Uwe who?

[Hollow]

Haha, oh god. No words for Uwe Boll....

Btw I think it's pronounced "Ooh-weh-Bowl", at least that's how I say it, screw what anyone else says.

[Rainy Night]

Didn't I hear a story that he approached some writers here, they did some work for him and he refused to pay or something?

Maybe one of the mods knows...

[Plot Device]

Just asking, has anyone watched Alone in the Dark (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0369226/)? I keep hoping it shows up somewhere so I can see the horror for myself.

-Derek

I rented it a few years back. It was just dumb.

It started off with what seems like three entire minutes of some really lame narrator-delivered back-story with a montage of past events concerning some secret government experiment gone awry and some underground tunnels connecting the lab with a little cabin out in the woods. And something about little orphan children screaming in the night as they are plucked from their beds at the orphanage and taken to the lab to be experimented upon. They tried to make it all very creepy with dark shadows and sinsiter music.

After all that dumb dumb lame-o back story, the film began and it had NO BEARING AT ALL on all that narrated stuff we just sat through for three whole minutes!

And then there was this female archeologist and then Christian Slater. And then, for some reason that utterly escaped me, we suddenly had a monster running around. And he wasn't even a very interesting monster.

I kept waiting to see when the cabin in the woods and the underground tunnels were going to swing back into the plot again. I kept waiting for them to discover the horror of children having been experimented upon. They didn't. Not one thread of any of the narrated stuff ever made its way into the rest of the film. It was all very painful to endure.

I felt so badly for Christian Slater.

[zeprosnepsid]

I do believe that the german tax loophole no longer exists. I believe it's been recently abolished. Or so I've heard.

But yeah, there's also a Bloodrayne 2. I'm really not sure who's funding him. But he's good for a laugh. Plus he won the boxing match with the critics or whatever - he showed them!

I actually have every intention to see 'In The Name Of The King: A Dragon Siege Tale' or whatever it's called, to be honest. It looks all kinds of good-bad.

[Plot Device]

I do believe that the german tax loophole no longer exists. I believe it's been recently abolished. Or so I've heard.

And to think I was geting ready to relocate to Germany! :D

But yeah, there's also a Bloodrayne 2.

I actually thought Bloodrayne wasn't half bad. I went in with low expectations and was pleasantly surprised.

I'm really not sure who's funding him.

I heard that actors generally like working with him. His cast and crew find him to be very organized and a decent boss all around.

Creativity is another issue entirely.


But he's good for a laugh. Plus he won the boxing match with the critics or whatever - he showed them!

I missed that. Was that a virtual boxig match? Anyone got a link?

I actually have every intention to see 'In The Name Of The King: A Dragon Siege Tale' or whatever it's called, to be honest. It looks all kinds of good-bad.

Why isn't it out yet? They've been in production for like ever.

[jebedi]

I don't think anything could ever convince me to see another of his movies.

[razormoney]

Imagine being stuck in an unwashed airplane bathroom with your most annoying relative while he tells you an incredibly boring pointless story for two endless hours and you'll have some inkling of what it's like sitting through "Alone in the Dark" or, for that matter, any Uwe Boll movie.

The very fact that Germany keeps letting this guy make movies is enough justification, as far as I'm concerned to reconvene the war crimes tribunal.

NMS

Very, very funny. You must be a screenwriter! I'd like to read your brand of humor.

Haha, oh god. No words for Uwe Boll....

Btw I think it's pronounced "Ooh-weh-Bowl", at least that's how I say it, screw what anyone else says.

Actually, I think it's "Ooh-vay." You know, like the Germans pronounce Volkswagen "VolksVagen."

Of course, he's such a terrible director no one really cares how to pronounce his name.

Now, if he were to continue his boxing career by challenging more critics who lambaste his silly projects to fights, then he might interest me.

Razor

[Hollow]

Plot he challenged a bunch of people who criticized him to a real boxing match. Four of em if I remember correctly. He beat all of them. Even so the man still can't make a good movie.

[pconsidine]

Y'know, if you say "Uwe Boll" fast enough, it sounds like you're saying "horrible" with a mouth full of taffy.

How appropriate.

[nielsty]

I think his first name is pronounced Ueve. And Boll is pronounced like toll with a B. And I've had 6 years of German lessons through basic school and high school and was an exchange student for six weeks at a German high school so I should know :-)

By the way - The German spoken films are generally of poor quality - but once in a while there's a "Life of others", "Sonnen Allé" or "Goodbye Lenin" amongst all the bombs. Actually it's all the historical pieces which make an impact - it was the same with Downfall.

[whistlelock]

I've a friend who's German, and this is how he said the German tax law works for movies- They want to encourage the industry, so if a movie with German financing flops they can write it off on their taxes.

So these German investors are handing cash over to Uwe knowing that his movies will bomb, so they can write the loss off.

[Rainy Night]

So, would it be safe to say that if he had a "hit" he may never make another movie?

[pconsidine]

I think the big recent change in German movie financing is that people are no longer allowed to trade shares of a movie on the stock market like they used to. Trading shares made it more attractive to people with money, because there was investment potential in a project before it ever reached the screen. Without that, it's just the tax dodge angle that keeps people investing.

[Boo_Radley]

On the horror boards I reg at I refer to Boll as the modern Bruno Mattei -- RIP, but his movies were the filmic equivalent of sun-dried dog droppings, and Boll is right there with him.

Alone in the Dark made me think Boll had nowhere to go but up...then I watched House of the Dead, and realized exactly how wrong I was. Why he was ever allowed behind a camera again after that, I have no idea.

[bluejester12]

The boxing matches are on youTube. The commentator pronounces his name, for those curious.

[pconsidine]

It would probably be much easier on him if he was more of a director and less of a boxer.

[AFS]

On the BloodRayne DVD there's an interview with him over dinner, and I think they pronounce his name "You Bowl".

And what a horrible movie that was, by the way.

"I will not harm you. I only wish to kill vampires."

And that's just the writing and acting, not to mention the directing and editing.

It looks like it was made for TV... in the '70's... without a budget... by terminally ill blind people... who were ON FIRE! And I guess they were all drunk, or something.

[AceTachyon]

I remember watching ten minutes of House of the Dead and thinking "Okay, I'll give it a few more minutes."

I did.

Then I hit fast-forward to see if anything got better.

Nope.

[DanielD]

It's something I have asked myself quite often," why make a movie that's obviously going to flop big time?".
You would think that someone involved in the making of the film ,from script to final cut, would have caught on.
I think I read in William Goldman's book: Adventures In The Screen Trade,that even during the trial viewing (by the moguls,execs,ect) prior to general release, a movie considered an absolute dud will still be released with wide exposure( Into plenty of cinemas).
I think he stated, that this way they get back some of the production costs.
So they spend up big with promotions,hoping to recoup a little bit of that mullah.
Yet at the end of it all,they're still well out of pocket.
Take care.
Daniel.

[Daydreamer]

What I don't get is why world famous actors agree to be in his movies. Aren't they afraid that the bad publicity might damage their careers (take Ben Kingsley for example)?

By the way, the name is pronounced like this:
Uwe = oo (as in oops) ve (as in very)
Boll = bo (as in Borneo) ll (as in life)

[Plot Device]

What I don't get is why world famous actors agree to be in his movies. Aren't they afraid that the bad publicity might damage their careers (take Ben Kingsley for example)?


From what I've read, he's a very together director who treats his cast and crew like gold. People are glad to work with a director who's a decent guy and doesn't throw tirades and doesn't muck up the schedule. Word-of-mouth like that can be the tipping point in getting a big-name star agreeing to do one of your films.

By the way, the name is pronounced like this:
Uwe = oo (as in oops) ve (as in very)
Boll = bo (as in Borneo) ll (as in life)


Thanks for the clarification. :)

[Plot Device]

FYI

"Alone in the Dark" is on Sci-Fi right now. :D

(They ARE doing a sequel, BTW.)