Show/Tell

[reenkam]

Can one still "show" when a character is telling what's happening?

My current WIP will have a chapter that doesn't have any dialogue or anything and is mostly the MC watching something happen and kind of reflecting on it. Would that be considered telling? Or is the real difference between showing and telling not what is being said, but how you're saying it?

[Ullikummis]

I think the difference between showing and telling is that showing requires co-operation with the reader for the reader's impression, wheras telling is bluntly shoving the information in the reader's brain.

[Dave.C.Robinson]

I see it as how it's being written. Telling is usually a bald narrative, indicating what happened and telling us character's reactions. Showing engages the reader's senses.

[reenkam]

Thanks to both of you. :)

I guess I'll read the scene in question a couple times over to make sure I'm getting things right. Strangely, I don't remember having this kind of issue before, but this scene's really making me wonder.

Thanks again.

[OverTheHills&FarAway]

I've had a battle with show versus tell lately. And what I've slowly come to realize is that if it's engaging, it doesn't matter whether it's show or tell or what.

Granted, I'm writing in first person, and everything this character says can be considered "telling," but it also "shows" how the character thinks about things, what he thinks about things he's not saying, his biases, his hopes, basically his whole character.

If you're talking about one thing, stating some facts that would otherwise be considered telling, and if readers can infer meaning that's implicit, not definitively stated, than I would consider it showing.

If your character is watching something for an entire scene and telling us what's happening, he's going to be telling us in a certain way. Even if he comes out an make bald statements as to how he feels about something, ideally, we should be able to figure out how he feels about it by how he says it.

"Showing" and "telling" are not mutually exclusive. They contribute to each other, and sometimes occur at the exact same time. And neither is always right or always wrong. If the reader can infer something from your text, than it's a good thing. If there is no involvement, than perhaps you should consider changing it.

[Maryn]

reenkam, when you think you've got it complete, post all or part of that troublesome chapter at the appropriate SYW board, stressing your show vs. tell concerns. You may get very specific feedback on any snippets that seem to tell, plus suggestions for revision.

Maryn, who should go there more herself*

*See, Kristie, how positive reinforcement makes a person work harder? Much better than beatings!

[Toothpaste]

Remember also that it isn't that you aren't allowed to tell, and you must only show, but that in general it is better to do so. You are always "allowed" to tell so long as you feel it is appropriate. You're "allowed" to do really anything you like, so long as you do it well!

[reenkam]

Good idea Maryn, who always has great lines after her name. I think I'll do that.

[Azraelsbane]

I had a question about this as well. I have a chapter that is about 6 pages of a character actually telling a story of the past. It's specifically important to the understanding of the antagonist and seeing as it happened such a long time before the actual story it's nearly impossible to get any other way. Any ideas? It's an engaging story, but still very literally a tell situation.

[Maryn]

That's a toughie. I've seen it done, and done well, as two-guys-sit-at-a-bar (or around a campfire, whatever) while one, a good storyteller, literally tells the other a story. It needs intercuts of action (Mac raised his empty glass in the generally direction of the barman.) and quite a bit of question or commentary from the character hearing the story ("Why on earth would he carry a sieve into battle?") to keep from becoming one long, boring story.

I've also seen at least a few instances in which the character telling the story is the introduction to a flashback chapter or scene that is the story, generally written in a different POV and sometimes a different verb tense, often present. At the conclusion of the chapter, where the story ends, there's a transition back to the guys at the bar/fireside along with the resumption of the original POV and tense.

Both take some skill but can work quite nicely.

Maryn, who could use some skill and rarely works quite nicely

[Azraelsbane]

Thanks Maryn... you know, I think I'm going to have some people read it and see how they feel about it. If the general concensus is that it's a snore-a-thon I might do that lead-in to flashback thing. I hadn't really thought of that, but it's a good idea.

[blacbird]

I've always viewed "telling" in fiction as akin to "stage-direction" in plays. It is not necessarily bad, but it's up the the skill of the writer to know when and when not to "tell" things. Most of the really bad "telling" I've seen in fiction comes from relating emotions to the reader: "He was angry. She was embarrassed. He felt sad." These kinds of things normally cry out for some form of being "shown", rather than blatantly "told".

caw

[FennelGiraffe]

I think there are two different usages of tell here. Yes, the character is telling a story, but does he tell it in a telling way or a showing way? Does he say, "It was hot," or does he say, "The sweat poured down my face"?

Where you might have a problem is if he's the kind of guy who would just say, "It was hot," and anything else would be out of character. In that case, having him tell a story is going to be boring.

[reenkam]

I think there are two different usages of tell here. Yes, the character is telling a story, but does he tell it in a telling way or a showing way? Does he say, "It was hot," or does he say, "The sweat poured down my face"?

Where you might have a problem is if he's the kind of guy who would just say, "It was hot," and anything else would be out of character. In that case, having him tell a story is going to be boring.

I was just realizing that. I think my problem was that the character was telling the story, but I do think it was in a showing way, so I guess it's all fine, really.

[johnzakour]

I never pay attention to if I am "showing" or "telling" I just write what flows naturally and let the chips fall where they ma.