Prologue/backstory okay to start with?

[Ivonia]

As I revise my sci-fi/fantasy story, I've realized that I never introduce the main bad guy (I don't really want to call him the "antagonist", because I've been viewing all the bad guys as a whole as the "antagonist", since it's not always the bad guy's leader who's trying to stop the hero). He's just a guy that shows up, then has his minions fight a war which he starts up with the good guys.

While this background alone gives me good reason to show off some big battles and what not, I don't feel that the story right now is strong enough in its current form.

What I've attempted to do to remedy this is start my story with an intro to the main bad guy before he becomes the main bad guy. Since my story essentially boils down to being "WW2 in space", I'll use some WW2 analogies to make my examples better understood.

My prologue begins with the "Hitler" character, while he's still some unknown joe. His side just lost a conflict with the good guys, despite having a larger military. He feels they lost because their government was too slow to react to things going on in battle, and as a result, they lose a lot of territory in space to the good guys. He vows that if he were in charge, they wouldn't of been so easily beaten.

He gets his chance when the expedition he's on discovers an ancient temple. As the researchers and scientists are exploring, he accidentally breaks a magical seal, which allows an ancient demon to enter their world. The demon's minions kill off everyone except the one guy. Instead of killing him however, the demon offers him unlimited wealth and power, if only he'll worship the demon as his new god, and obey him. Since the deal is lucrative, the "Hitler" guy accepts willingly. The prologue ends when he smashes a computer that recorded a warning, in which a scientist attempts to warn of the evil they just unleashed unto the galaxy.

In addition to this scene, I've added some more dialogue in which the good guys talk about events that occur after the prologue, such as how the bad guys erupt into a brutal and bloody civil war, in which the "Hitler" guy wins thanks not only the demons help (in the form of his legions of minions which the demon commands to obey the guy), but also by attempting to alleviate the suffering of his own people. He also makes demands to the good guys that he knows they will refuse, such as reparations for their sending aid to his enemies (they did send aid, but it was under the assumption that it was to be used for the civilians, not the government forces fighting the bad guys. And ironically enough, the aid his forces captured was used under the assumption that the "Hitler" guy was providing it for his people, not the good guys), and the return of territory the bad guys lost in the earlier war.

When the good guys refuse to meet these demands, he uses them as the justification for going to war with them. He assures his military commanders that the good guys brought this upon themselves when they sent aid to his enemies and prolonged the suffering they and their families had to endure. And how their new god, who brought them to their newfound glory, demands their sacrifice. They then destroy a military space port near their borders, in an event similar to Pearl Harbor.

Unfortunately for them, their first target also happens to be the spaceport where the hero's sister is stationed, and once they destroy it, they provide the hero the justification for him fighting in the war...

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So, do you think adding this stuff in the beginning will make the bad guys seem more "human"? With my current draft they feel really flat, and seem just like stuff for the good guys to shoot and blow up. But I've trying to develop a story where the bad guys aren't evil for the sake of being evil, but rather, they're doing what they have to in order to ensure they survive and prosper. But by doing that, they're causing a lot conflict for the good guys, who also want the same goals, but at the same time don't wanna be annihilated by the bad guys (the bad guys are much more powerful militarily than the good guys).

I also feel that this intro would provide the justifications for everything the bad guys do in the story, such as taking very few prisoners, destroying as many non-combatants as they can (something some of the good guys try to avoid doing), and also doing whatever it takes to win, including bombarding the surface of a planet when the good guys successfully defend an invasion from their fleet (the bad guys figure if they can't have it, neither should the good guys).

I'm not saying that what the bad guys are doing is "good". After all, Hitler also believed what he was doing wasn't "evil"; he just did what he felt had to be done in order for the Germans to survive. Never mind that millions would have to suffer and die as a result. After all, no one really seems to care about how many soldiers on both sides died in WW1. But everyone certainly remembers the Holocaust. By showing the bad guys as more "human", people can connect to them more, even if that connection is just anger and hatred for them because of what they're doing.

And before you ask, yes I'm thinking "big" with this story. I've developed a lot of interesting stuff over the years, and I felt putting them in this story would be a cool excuse to show lots of big ships and explosions. But at the same time, I'm trying to make sure that when you see a ship explode, you'll feel something, whether it's sadness from one of the good guys dying, or happiness when the bad guys lose one of their ships (think of the Battle of Endor from Return of the Jedi for an example of what I mean. I wish more movies had scenes like that). I'm trying to avoid putting a battle in for the sake of having a battle. If you see one occur, it's because the bad guys (or in one case, the good guys) are trying to kill civilians, or because the bad guys are invading a planet while the good guys try desperately to defend it. It won't be easy, but if I can pull it off, it could be one of the next big things. Yeah, yeah, I know "Good luck with that" lol. But we'll see someday...

[DanielD]

To Ivonia.
Are you writing a novel, or a Screenplay ?
I ask this, as I seen some sci-fi screenplays( written by those new to Screenwriting), which resembled a novel.
The entire pages looked like walls of words, with hardly any white space.
If it's a Screenplay you would have your character, especially a main character unfold through the story using dialogue and description(action).
You can write brief, or indepth character backstories(biography), though this would not be included in your actual screenplay.
Normally only brief character descriptions are included in the actual screenplay( physical features, mannerisms, ect), though this can be better shown through his, and other characters, dialogue and actions.
From what Iv'e seen, prologues are not usually too long and detailed.
They are often used to add information, which is deemed crucial in bringing the viewer/reader into the world you are creating.
Also, there was another thread here recently which covered prologues.
This particular thread may contain some clearer explanations, in regards to Prologues, and their proper application.
Daniel

[Joe270]

Ivonia,

I understand the conundrum of the back story. Sometimes it works better to just start in the middle, and let the backstory just seep in, like Star Wars did.

As a stand-alone movie, starwars worked. All the sequels to explain everything have been disappointing, IMHO.

Perhaps a quick series-of-shots showing the atrocities of one side and the compassion of the other side will work. Just a quick shot of the demon taking the 'hitler' character by the neck and lifting him, saying "You are mine" can convey the link.

I'm not pro, but I know you can't explain too much, the mystery is sometimes better than what is actually on the screen.

[dpaterso]

Methinks your setup could work, teaser sequences often do (one of the best I recall reading was Hellboy (http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/Hellboy.html)), but keep it short and thrilling. As a rough guide/rule of thumb, aim to intro your protag by page 10 at the very latest. Execute the teaser and get into the main story ASAP.

-Derek

[scripter1]

made me think of the Prologue to X-men. We see Magneto as a young boy being dragged into a camp, pulled away from his parents, and using his powers.

We don't NEED to see what happened between then and when he became Magneto. The Prologue lasted maybe a minute, one page of screenplay.
If that.
Yet it was just enough to help us understand the character.

And as was mentioned, Darth Vader was a much better antagonist for Luke before we knew his full backstory.

Most of the time it's much better if the villians just are.
They show up in the story, and what ever is really vital for us to know about them, as it DIRECTLY relates to the protag, is given in bits and chunks throughout the script.

Remember, if it doesn't affect the protag then it really isn't part of the story.

[zeprosnepsid]

I agree with dpat pretty wholeheartedly. Your prologue sounds fine and it's the kind of thing that's often done, just don't do it for too long.

I'm a little more concerned about the convultedness of your story as a whole from your description though. Seems a bit hard to follow. I certainly can't say for sure without seeing the actual script, but I thought I'd just bring it up as something to be careful of... You don't want to lose your reader in all the detail.