Description Game

[BrianTubbs]

I'm almost 10,000 words into my current project. It's the furthest I've gotten in ALL of my attempts at writing a novel. I'm pscyed about that, but one of the areas I know I'm struggling in is....character description.

I have a hard time matching my visualization of my characters with the words I use to describe them to my readers. I'm sure most of you are much better than I am at physical description of characters, so I thought I'd suggest a fun little game.

Pick a celebrity - someone that most of us would be familiar with - and describe him or her as you would on paper if introducing him or her to your reader.

How, for example, would you physically describe - on paper in a novel - Harrison Ford or Mel Gibson or Brad Pitt? Or Jessica Simpson, Keira Knightley or Angelina Jolie?

Pick whoever you want - and show us how you would describe them.

[Azraelsbane]

My fingers rifled over the keys. Almost there. If I could get this last bit written before-

The door slammed open behind me, rattling on poorly made hinges.

"Chey, baby, are you on that thing again?"

I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of her. Sex and wildflowers. There was no need to turn around, her image long since etched in the stone of memory.

Heels clicked on the faux wood flooring. Boots. Black. They no doubt stretched to the bottom of her shapely thighs. If I was lucky, she'd be wearing those tight little shorts I loved so much. And if she was carrying her guns...

God.

I could feel her rich, pouty lips brushing across my temple as she whispered sweet nothings. Green eyes. So deep. The devil's playground.

I wanted cold steel tracing down my chest, delving past my navel as I tasted the brunette waves tickling across my face.


---

That said and done... You don't need to describe every part of your characters. Definitely not in a stop, drop, and puke it out way. ;) Sometimes less is more. Fun game, btw.

[Shane Fitzsimmons]

Finding your character's voice is more important than being able to describe their physical characteristics. I'm not saying that you shouldn't be able to do that too, but it's significantly less important, and it's one of the biggest tells that you're new to the writing game when you do a Looking-in-the-Mirror-esque description. That is, where when you first introduce a character, you basically infodump every major physical trait they have. If that's what you're doing, don't.

One of the great things about books is that, unlike movies, you get to allow your reader's imagination to flourish, and do a lot of the work for you. Finding your character's voice will create a powerful image in your reader's head, which might be vastly different from the way you wanted the character to appear, but this is a good thing. You can still alter the reader's perceptions, is the guy big or small, pretty or ugly, any revealing scars, what color is his hair/eyes/skin, fat or skinny, etc. These are things you can do to modify the image your reader sees in his own head, but ultimately it's not about you making sure that the exact image the reader sees in his head is the one you see in yours when writing a character.

Why? Because the image your reader makes up is likely going to be much more powerful to them than any image you can describe for them. It's really as simple as that.

[Shadow_Ferret]

Why? Because the image your reader makes up is likely going to be much more powerful to them than any image you can describe for them. It's really as simple as that.
I totally disagree with this. They are my characters, it is up to me to describe them as I imagine them to the reader. Otherwise I'm shirking my responsibilities.

so...

He walked in the doorway, almost having to turn sideways to fit his broad shoulders through the frame. His arms were the size of my legs.

"Arnold, dude!" I said, "How's that governor thing going?"

[preyer]

jeez, shane, just play the game, will ya? lol. brian, if the conventions of your genre and your personal wont is to describe your characters, do so. shane's got a valid point, but, like most 'rules' (and i'm an advocate of a whole bunch of 'em) that's not written in stone.

but, for sake of the game, and given the idea that i suck at descriptions, try to figure out who i'm writing about here:

With a pair of store-bought orcas stuffed into her blue tank top, her chest could have been mistaken from a distance as the perfect hang-ten, let's shoot the curl waves. As she cruised the edge of the lapping water, she'd slow down and lift her hair, snaring the sunlight and giving her an angel's halo. The effect, stunning as it was, was laughable considering her past.

After several years of alcohol diets and pills, a nip here and a tuck there served as just a reminder to gawkers that she once had been a woman in shape. Sometimes people commented on just how real she looked. A million dollar face, a ten million dollar body, all rebuilt, modified, pulled back into place, a drape of flesh tied taut over atrophy. Funny, that, considering the entire world had seen her most intimate of spaces laid bare in the pages of men's magazines... and 'leaked' private home movies. Not that mystery and allure had ever been her selling points....

She walked the beaches now, a victim of sun-baked Tinseltown, her body a polluted ocean, the high-quality cutmen she used as testament to her vanity. And yet she still idolized herself even if she couldn't quite recognize the sex-bomb face painted in the mirror.


...or something like that. not really sure if all that made sense, lol, kinda wrote it on the fly.

[Xx|e|ph|e|me|r|al|xX]

Ha, with my weird view of who I'll describe, good luck figuring out who it is. XD

He came off the stage, his normally silky black hair glued by sweat in tendrils against his face, falling out of his rough pony tail. Sweat glistened on his chest with every labored breath. He had given up adjusting his torn shirt, and it fell off his bony shoulders. Sweat and old tears ran his makeup down his cheeks and formed deep circles around his deep eyes. He looked like a ghost. His skin was florescent pale, his cheeks so thin they caved in. Yet despite all this, his full, painted lips curved into a bow of a grin. I tilted my head and stepped toward him, throwing the towel around his shoulders, then pulling him into my arms.

"Get back to your dressing room before you pass out, young man," I said. He chuckled.

"I'm so glad you made it, Mama. Did you get here recently?" I pulled back and shook my head, winking.

"No, I saw it all, baby."

That's fun. I'll have to try someone else. I don't do too much paragraph-descriptions except when needed. It's always awkward. I like this game. :tongue

[preyer]

marilyn manson? come on, guys, you can drop clues in without almost flat-out saying who it is... can't you? :)

[CaroGirl]

Here's a description of one of my own characters because I don't have time right now to write anything new.


Billy Taylor was big, at least two grades ahead in school. He stood in front of her, his mouth slack, dirty blond hair falling in lanky swaths into his eyes. His white arms dangled from his shoulders like strands of spaghetti, ending in hands that looked too big.

“What do you want?” she said, crossing her arms under her tiny, budding breasts. Schoolboys were beyond the pale. Her fantasies were about men like Carl Stone; from the filthy novel she had bought for two dollars from dark little Tracey with the harelip. She wanted a mature man, whose bare chest and wide shoulders formed a V-shape, and rippled with muscles. The gangly boy with spaghetti arms didn’t measure up.

[Xx|e|ph|e|me|r|al|xX]

marilyn manson? come on, guys, you can drop clues in without almost flat-out saying who it is... can't you? :)

Haha, nooo...;) But I can really see why you thought that...heh. I like this. I did drop clues, but I'll do another description of him....hehe.

Mickey combed his bony fingers through his hair and leaned back on his arm, gripping the edge of the piano bench.

"Okay..." He sighed, then hummed the tune on which he was working. Nodding and ignoring the black strands falling in his face again, he put his long fingers back on the keys and played it. He smiled and hummed along, bobbing his head, as he finally got what he was going for. Then his glasses slipped off his small nose, clattering to the keys, then falling into his lap.

"Oops," he murmured, fumbling to replace them over his dark eyes. He blinked several times as his eyes adjusted, then furrowed his pale brow and got back to the matter at hand.

"Daddy?" a small voice interrupted. Mickey turned to see his youngest son prodding his side.

"Hey baby, what do you need?" he asked him. The boy flipped his lengthy black hair out of his face habitually and pointed towards the door.

"Nanny Grace sent me to tell you dinner's ready."

"Oh, thank you. But I'm not hungry."

"You never are!" The boy sighed, planting his small hands on his hips, and Mickey couldn't help a chuckle. "Fine," the boy went on, "will ya' at least sit with us?" Mickey hesitated, studying the earnest little face staring up at him hopefully. Sweetheart. He nodded.

"Yes, of course."

[Penguin Queen]

Well, it depends. I tend not to do physical descriptons at all -- in a lot of cases, I couldnt actually tell you what my characters look like. I just know what they feel like.
Er. Not in that way, you understand. :D

I'm kinda with Shane on this. When I do describe them, it's usually while I'm doing something else, or the character who's looking at them is doing something else. Or to say something about them - what they notice, when, why, how - rather than the character being described.


I just spent ten minutes trying to describe Kathleen Turner, but I never got round to visual stuff, it all came down to how she moved (decisive), and her sexy gravelly voice and steely manner.

[amber_grosjean]

Here's one of my characters too which resembles Arnold Swartzaneger (I ended up taking his name out when I edited the story for the first time, about 15 years ago lol)

He was a strong man, his high cheek bones set his blues eyes out. His soft skin looked young but also revealed someone who was a hard worker. His large hands were very careful as he shook my hand. I thought he was a dream............Of course, I did change it a little for this game lol. But then, Arnold was still an actor and I thought he would be perfect as a model for my character. Of course, if this book went into the movies I wouldn't want him playing the part lol. He's too muscular for the man I wanted revealed lol.

Amber

[Jamesaritchie]

As a reader, I don't care how a writer envisions a character, I care about how I envision him. Keep the descriptions to a minimum, and let me use my imagination. The best way to describe a character is through the character's actions, not by his looks.

If he's tall, have him reach something on a high shelf. If he's short, have him look up at people. If he's handsome, have women look at him twice. If he's strong, have him pick up something heavy.

But tell me he has blond hair and blue eyes and you just ruined my day.

[johnzakour]

As a reader, I don't care how a writer envisions a character, I care about how I envision him. Keep the descriptions to a minimum, and let me use my imagination. The best way to describe a character is through the character's actions, not by his looks.

If he's tall, have him reach something on a high shelf. If he's short, have him look up at people. If he's handsome, have women look at him twice. If he's strong, have him pick up something heavy.

But tell me he has blond hair and blue eyes and you just ruined my day.

I too like to keep things simple. Though I do like to mention hair and eye color (sorry James.) When you are writing first person PI stories the PI needs to note these things.

[preyer]

thanks for playing, guys, you're all a barrel of fun.

[Shadow_Ferret]

As a reader, I don't care how a writer envisions a character, I care about how I envision him. Keep the descriptions to a minimum, and let me use my imagination. The best way to describe a character is through the character's actions, not by his looks.

As a reader, I disagree with this. I like to know exactly how the writer envisions his character. It is their creation, they should be telling me how he looks. What made Robert E. Howard's Conan so great wasn't minimalism. He let us know in no uncertain terms that Conan was a formidably large man, how his muscles rippled like oiled steel cable. What made Doc Savage stand out from everyone else was his size, his skin color, his eyes, and his widow's peak. Tarzan, too, was described in detail.

No, as a reader I want to know the MC and how he stands out among the others. If he has physical attributes that make him or her special, I want it described. That's the writer's job, not the reader's.

[jdparadise]

But for the eyes, one might take him for a frog.

The man's shoulders were wide, and rounded, his chin hung above them in bulldog wattles. His mouth did not help: a wide opening framed by fleshy, petulant lips that might have hidden a long curled tongue poised to snap flies from flight. Large ears, but so flat against the man's head that they might not have been there at all. What sort of man was this, to name himself England's savior?

But the eyes--the eyes saved the man, made frog into prince and prince into king. Dark, intelligent, focused beneath the surprisingly elegant curves of his lowered brow--this (http://www.baldhalloffame.com/images/__Winston%20Churchill.jpg) was a man to save not only England, but the world.

[Jamesaritchie]

As a reader, I disagree with this. I like to know exactly how the writer envisions his character. It is their creation, they should be telling me how he looks. What made Robert E. Howard's Conan so great wasn't minimalism. He let us know in no uncertain terms that Conan was a formidably large man, how his muscles rippled like oiled steel cable. What made Doc Savage stand out from everyone else was his size, his skin color, his eyes, and his widow's peak. Tarzan, too, was described in detail.

No, as a reader I want to know the MC and how he stands out among the others. If he has physical attributes that make him or her special, I want it described. That's the writer's job, not the reader's.

Some readers feel this way, some do not. I do not. When you tell me how I protagonist looks, I then know he does not look like me, and I have a much harder time living the story through him.

And as much as I liked the Conan stories, would you really use such a description in a modern novel?

Doc Savage, yes, but the description is there because he doesn't look like any other human, if human he even is.

You can certainly describe characters all you want. Some readers will like it. But for the protagonist, I think it's not only unnecessary, it's pulp, comic book writing.

[preyer]

good one, paradise. i liked how you linked the photo with the text. clever. (i used to be able to do that, forgot how.)

correct me if i'm wrong, but doesn't romance MCs tend to be described?

besides, just play the damn game already. don't make me pull the internet over.

[Garpy]

excellent game btw.

Azraelsbane = Uma Thurman?
Preyer = Angela Dickinson (wild guess)?
Ephemera = Michael Jackson?


On the subject of description, for my tuppence....I'm with one or two others here, I keep it light (tall/short, fat/thin, young/old...is about all you'll get). I honestly think it bores readers to give 'em too much to read, and not enough to visualise for themselves.

[preyer]

pamela sue anderson lee mcgullicutty rock. i think she needs to hook up with john mellencamp/john cougar mellencamp/john camp cougarmellen. then change her name to an unpronouncable symbol.

[Prawn]

My fingers rifled over the keys. Almost there. If I could get this last bit written before-

The door slammed open behind me, rattling on poorly made hinges.

"Chey, baby, are you on that thing again?"

I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of her. Sex and wildflowers. There was no need to turn around, her image long since etched in the stone of memory.

Heels clicked on the faux wood flooring. Boots. Black. They no doubt stretched to the bottom of her shapely thighs. If I was lucky, she'd be wearing those tight little shorts I loved so much. And if she was carrying her guns...

God.

I could feel her rich, pouty lips brushing across my temple as she whispered sweet nothings. Green eyes. So deep. The devil's playground.

I wanted cold steel tracing down my chest, delving past my navel as I tasted the brunette waves tickling across my face.


I have never read such a spot-on description of Harrison Ford!

[Azraelsbane]

I have never read such a spot-on description of Harrison Ford!

LOL! Prawn, you're a genius! ;)

[mscelina]

*snort!*

Poor Harrison. Sixty-something and doing his own stunts on the new Indiana Jones movie...

*back to your regularly scheduled thread*

[Prawn]

LOL! Prawn, you're a genius! ;)

I have never read such a spot-on description of myself! (Except, where are my thigh high leather boots?)

[Xx|e|ph|e|me|r|al|xX]

excellent game btw.

Azraelsbane = Uma Thurman?
Preyer = Angela Dickinson (wild guess)?
Ephemera = Michael Jackson?


On the subject of description, for my tuppence....I'm with one or two others here, I keep it light (tall/short, fat/thin, young/old...is about all you'll get). I honestly think it bores readers to give 'em too much to read, and not enough to visualise for themselves.

Haha, you caught it. Good job. ;)


My under-a-rock-ness is showing. Other celebrities...hmm...oh well. I'll come back some other time. XD

[Koobie]

For his fifty odd years, he looked like a thirty-year old. Well-preserved's the term, I believe. The concert was coming to a close, and I wish to God it wasn't. The man on stage, the lead guitarist, the man whose name has been a synonym with virtuoso electric guitar music for the past decade, was smiling. Bald head, designer sunglasses. The god of his domain. I wonder where he got the energy?

"This one here's called Crowd Chant," he said.

http://www.t1music.com/assets/images/Satriani.JPG

[jdparadise]

He (http://www.cojeco.cz/attach/photos/lide/King_88674/Stephen-King-1max.jpg) limps up to you, taller than you thought he'd be but not as tall as his reputation would have him, and he sticks out a hand with fingers far more delicate than the hard-fought battlefield of his face would suggest.

He grins at you when you shake his hand, an impish sort of monkey-look that his thick flop of hair makes boyish despite his age. He is not a handsome man, but there's a charm to him nonetheless that you find yourself trusting.

He doesn't look scary, you find yourself thinking. But then he says something about never trusting a rabbit taller than your shoulder and you wonder what, exactly, the years of addiction did to that fertile brain.

[Dave.C.Robinson]

I don't describe characters in more than generalizations. I try to describe things like rough build and how they carry themselves most of the time. I'm not as extreme as JAR, but I want the reader to be able to imagine their vision of the character, not try to force them into mine.