Sex scenes or not?

[Kristiina]

Well, I just posted to that thread about songs for a sex scene, and that got me thinking about an old problem of mine.

I'm one of those readers who doesn't much like sex scenes, mainly because most times they don't do much for me. I love the tease scenes (that one in the Loreena McKennitt song 'Highwayman' where he can only touch her tumbling locks, ahh...), but most times when the couple gets past that I start skipping. Or yawning if I decide to read everything through. I much prefer the closing doors, when what happens after that is left to my imagination.

So, in my own writing I tend to leave the actual sex out. But I do like those tease scenes. Am I giving false signals if I use them and then skip the sex?

[JJ Cooper]

I'm like you Kristiina.

I believe the thrill is in the chase. Only have one sex scene so far in my WIP and it was a tense build up, end chapter, and new chapter begins with them smoking away (although I wanted the chapter opening with him snoring, but I can't because it's his POV).

JJ

[nandu]

Underplayed sex is very effective.

I don't know, whether with the present permissive society in Europe and America, it is possible to have the hero and heroine never uttering a single word of endearment to one another, while the sexual undercurrent rages underneath. It's done quite a lot in India.

Nandu.

[James D. Macdonald]

If required to advance the plot, reveal character, and support the theme, yes.

If not, no.

[~grace~]

If required to advance the plot, reveal character, and support the theme, yes.

If not, no.

Exactly. I hate gratuitous sex. Or violence. But if it serves a greater storytelling good...

[badducky]

If you have to ask, probably not.

[Andre_Laurent]

I let my characters do the wild thang, when it's time for it, but I don't show it. Probably because I couldn't write a sex scene if my life depended on it. :tongue

[JanDarby]

Ditto to what Uncle Jim said.

A sex scene is, first and foremost, a scene. That means it has to do what every single other scene in the book does -- move the plot forward, reveal characterization and so on. If so, the action occurs on-stage. If not, the action occurs off-stage.

Ironically, given the genre I write in, I skip most sex scenes in books I read. Because they're often gratuitous or at least marginal, in terms of plot and characterization. OTOH, if I read a sex scene that truly qualifies as a scene that moves the plot forward, then I do read every word, b/c to skip it would leave me not understanding the story.

And if you want a brilliant example of that (the non-gratuitous sex scene), read pretty much any book by Jenny Crusie, especially Welcome to Temptation and the new one with Bob Mayer, Agnes and the Hitman.

JD

[scarletpeaches]

I usually 'leave them at the bedroom door'. I've written one graphic sex scene which was essential to the plot for reasons I won't go into here...mainly because I'd blush. And blush I did, once I read it back. But there you go; I'm such a sweet and innocent girl.

[Marlys]

I love the tease scenes (that one in the Loreena McKennitt song 'Highwayman' where he can only touch her tumbling locks, ahh...),
To give credit where credit is due, those aren't McKennitt's lyrics: "The Highwayman (http://www.potw.org/archive/potw85.html)" is a poem by Alfred Noyes that she set to music.

On the subject of sex scenes, I agree with James and Jan: sometimes they're necessary, and sometimes they aren't. I do think you're in trouble if your story calls for a sex scene and you can't bring yourself to write it--if you're skipping something that should be there, the reader is going to feel that something's wrong.

[Stijn Hommes]

If writing only the teasing scenes is what you're comfortable with, just do it.
There's plenty of novels that skip the explicit sex so I don't think you'd send off the wrong message.

[Azraelsbane]

I just cut a sex scene from my wip. Some people screamed at me. It's very important that the sex happens...but I wasn't happy with the way the scene played out, so I cut pov from the girl right before they have sex, directly to the guy afterwards. People might be pissed but they'll have to deal. I have a threesome in the first 6 pages of my novel, and even though it's not in extreme detail, they'll have to live with the "sorta kinda behind closed doors" thing. ;)

I HATE gratuitous sex in books. Some people can write sex scenes really well, others just ruin a book for me. Especially the people who decide to do 20 page long sex scenes... If it's 20 pages long, I bet the chars are bored out of their minds by the end too.

[scarletpeaches]

You know what I hate more than graphic sex in novels? Flowery, romantic, trains-and-tunnels, fireworks sex. "Oh my darling, darling, I love you!" and all that shite. Sex is funny and squelchy and sweaty and you don't always orgasm, and sometimes it hurts.

(But sometimes you want it to). ;)

[dclary]

Exactly. I hate gratuitous sex. Or violence. But if it serves a greater storytelling good...
What I wouldn't give for a little gratuitous sex...

[Azraelsbane]

You know what I hate more than graphic sex in novels? Flowery, romantic, trains-and-tunnels, fireworks sex. "Oh my darling, darling, I love you!" and all that shite. Sex is funny and squelchy and sweaty and you don't always orgasm, and sometimes it hurts.

(But sometimes you want it to). ;)

/agree

I've said I love you during sex, but "Oh my darling, darling..." was definitely NOT what came before it. :ROFL:

I have a scene where someone gets set on fire during sex... Now that wasn't pretty at all. LoL.

[scarletpeaches]

Men! Want to know how to make your missus cry when you're having sex?

Phone her up and tell her! ;)

[Andre_Laurent]

I have a scene where someone gets set on fire during sex... Now that wasn't pretty at all. LoL.
Now that must be one hot scene......ducks and runs for cover. :roll:

[willietheshakes]

You know what I hate more than graphic sex in novels? Flowery, romantic, trains-and-tunnels, fireworks sex. "Oh my darling, darling, I love you!" and all that shite. Sex is funny and squelchy and sweaty and you don't always orgasm, and sometimes it hurts.

(But sometimes you want it to). ;)

Excuse me from the boards for a moment. I think I need a little alone time.

[Queen of Swords]

I have a scene where someone gets set on fire during sex...

Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. Literally.

[scarletpeaches]

I don't think they do get set on fire. I think it's just a bad case of herpes.

[Azraelsbane]

Now that must be one hot scene......ducks and runs for cover. :roll:

Ha! Funny! :) It is...it is... Simultaneous burnination and orgasm ftw! ;)

[Azraelsbane]

I don't think they do get set on fire. I think it's just a bad case of herpes.

No... no... one of them inherits the ability to control fire when she "accidentally" kills her previous lover. There really is fire. LoL. Control isn't her strong point.

[Lyxdeslic]

Sex scenes, for me, are the hardest to tackle; it's easy to slip into purpleville when writing them.

I agree with the general concencus: no need to get graphic unless vital to your plot/characterization.

I have two in my current WIP. The first is pretty graphic, only because it's my antagonist being a complete sadist. The second is between my protag and the main female lead. It comes 3/4 of the way into the book and, of course, has been building the whole time. Mostly, the entire chapter is build-up to the point of *tee-hee* penetration, then they disappear behind a waterfall and the chapter ends. Unless you can think of some innovative ways to show the actual act of the sex (please, writhing, pounding, making love like their riding a wave...has been done to death), honestly, there's no need; it's all in the build-up baby.

Of course, this is just one idiots opinion. :D

Lyx

[scarletpeaches]

I don't want to set the world on fi-yurrr...I just want to start...a flame in your loins...

[ZannaPerry]

A writer of romance myself, I would leave the sex scene in because to me it's what truly brings your hero/heroine together. Emotionally, mentally, physically. If you only do a little teasing you're going to end up teasing your reader as well.

[ZannaPerry]

Sex scenes, for me, are the hardest to tackle; it's easy to slip into purpleville when writing them.


I do know what you mean about love scenes being the hardest, and they have to come at the right moment or it's a big flop... :(

[maestrowork]

For Pete's sake, if it matters to your story and characters, write it. If it's just gratuitous, then don't. If you don't like sex scenes yourself, don't write it just because, unless you have a really compelling reason. It's like asking "should I write about the characters having lunch." Well...

It depends!

[amber_grosjean]

I've written an erotica thriller so yes I did write a few, well more than a few lol, sex scenes. The story didn't require the scenes but the characters wanted it so I let them have what they wanted. I wasn't trying to write erotica, it just turned out that way. After finishing the book, I liked how it turned out so it did work with the story after all. The publisher accepted it mainly for those scenes so it really worked out lol.

I don't think every book should have them but in this case, being the genre that it is, the scenes were needed. It really depends on the book, the genre, and the audience. I don't write those scenes for every adult story I write. My horror book only had a touch of the scene. They kissed, the top was taken off, and they went to the bed and had sex. Enough was said to leave to the imagination for the reader. I wrote the erotica first and didn't want another book to have the scenes so I just fast forwarded to the end of the sex. I think that one worked better going that route.

Amber

[Kristiina]

A writer of romance myself, I would leave the sex scene in because to me it's what truly brings your hero/heroine together. Emotionally, mentally, physically. If you only do a little teasing you're going to end up teasing your reader as well.

Oops, I should have mentioned that I don't write romance per se. But there is a pretty strong romance sublot in the fantasy I'm writing now.

[JoNightshade]

Reading this thread makes me wonder, exactly what are we all thinking of when we say "sex scene?" I've been in defense of sex scenes in the past and have admitted to writing them, but I wouldn't call them gratuitous. I leave the camera in the bedroom so there's no cut in the action, but I don't show everything, if you know what I mean. Nor do I have people panting and wailing and saying silly things. Most of the time it's a couple of words or silence. I think most of my sex scenes end up being about three or four sentences long. Usually it's from one character's POV so it will be their inner commentary on the event. Example: "It was awkward and it took a while, but they managed. When they finished, she rolled onto her back and lay staring at the ceiling for a long while."

[Doogs]

Sex must be in the air or something. There's a very similar thread going on in the historical section right now.

My view...it all depends. It depends on the characters, on the story, on the setting. There are a ton of great books that contain no sex scenes whatsoever, just as there are a ton that do contain them.

[She_wulf]

I think my biggest beef with sex scenes is the fact that there are repeats from author to author...like you can't think something up for yourself.

If I have to read 'heaving breasts' ANYWHERE in a story I will throw the book across the room, library owned or not.

Ditto for 'quivering manhood'.

PAAAAH-LLEEESE.

[Azraelsbane]

I think my biggest beef with sex scenes is the fact that there are repeats from author to author...like you can't think something up for yourself.

If I have to read 'heaving breasts' ANYWHERE in a story I will throw the book across the room, library owned or not.

Ditto for 'quivering manhood'.

PAAAAH-LLEEESE.

how about pouting nipples? LoL.

[She_wulf]

how about pouting nipples? LoL.

That would be caused by lack of attention IMO....no sense in boring the reader.

[Scrawler]

Remember the old days, when sex scenes on TV and in movies would CUT or fade to black just when things were getting interesting? That's what I do. I don't get into too much detail... just a tease.

[ZannaPerry]

Haha! Oh Lord...reading all what you are saying. I know what you mean about the heaving breasts, and quivering manhood. Those are silly, and awkward, I think to the reader and writer. I wouldn't put something like that in my book. No siree. Details are nice to have when writing a love scene, but it has to mean something again. You can't just pair your two main characters and expect them to make love. You have to build the romance, the awareness.

And I also know what you mean how every love scene you read is sort of like the same in every book. For me, this is a tackle I am willing to try to make my different from all the others. Whatever happened to playing it risky? Why does it always have to be a bed???

[Azraelsbane]

Haha! Oh Lord...reading all what you are saying. I know what you mean about the heaving breasts, and quivering manhood. Those are silly, and awkward, I think to the reader and writer. I wouldn't put something like that in my book. No siree. Details are nice to have when writing a love scene, but it has to mean something again. You can't just pair your two main characters and expect them to make love. You have to build the romance, the awareness.

And I also know what you mean how every love scene you read is sort of like the same in every book. For me, this is a tackle I am willing to try to make my different from all the others. Whatever happened to playing it risky? Why does it always have to be a bed???

Pff, beds are cliche. You should check out my BDSM in the Garden of Eden snippets on the "Post Your Last Paragraph" thread. LoL.

[ZannaPerry]

I'm on my way... :)

[She_wulf]

Pff, beds are cliche. You should check out my BDSM in the Garden of Eden snippets on the "Post Your Last Paragraph" thread. LoL.

Shamelessly plugging away I see...OMG, that sounds crude.

Apologies.

[Azraelsbane]

Shamelessly plugging away I see...OMG, that sounds crude.

Apologies.

Well you know...this thread is all about plugging away, or not. ;)

[JanDarby]

The thing to remember is, in a good sex scene, it's never about Tab A and Slot B (or Tab A and Tab B or Slot A and Slot B or variations thereof), but about the emotions and the uniqueness of THIS character's (the POV character's) thoughts and emotions, and what information/feeling/insight/decision/etc. he/she brings out of the scene when the tabs and the slots are finished.

It's all about the uniqueness of the two (or more) characters involved, not about the act itself. Although, yeah, the act itself should be written well too.

JD

[amber_grosjean]

Yep, the feelings add to the mood as well. And I agree that sex scenes need to differ from one to the other. When I write mine, I try not to repeat anything. Yes, I have used the bed scenes but also other locations as well just to mix it up and add reality to it. There's the floor, the shower, the chair, a desk, maybe a counter. Plus, you get into all the positions, if giving detail, which in erotica you really have to lol.

If the room seems to be getting a little hotter while someone is reading the book, then the writer did a good job lol. That is my goal.

Amber

[Azraelsbane]

There's the floor, the shower, the chair, a desk, maybe a counter. Plus, you get into all the positions, if giving detail, which in erotica you really have to lol.


My all time favorite... the piano. Dead sexy mix of passion and culture. :D

[Wolvel]

As to going into detail I don't. I leave it to the readers imagination.

I do set it up so as to know where the scene leads.

I use subtle hints or actions to line up the readers mind. Such as a deep kiss with them falling into the bed or grass and leave it there. If the plot needs the scene put it in there, but if nothing happens during the act then you don't have to give details.

In my wip, there are several scenes which lead to sex outside the pages. The characters having sex need to for the final climax of the story revolves around the children produced from the act.

[Queen of Swords]

While browsing a couple of sites which review romance novels, I've come across some euphemisms for the sex organs which made me laugh, but which I unfortunately didn't find very erotic. Here's a list of them.

The penis

Manroot (not to be confused with a carrot)
Love lance/love rod
Manly blade
Weapon of flesh
Tree of life
His greatness
That which made him man
The meat of his confession
The evidence of his desire (this makes it sound as though he's giving testes-mony in a court of law)
The bold proof of his masculinity

The testes

Storehouses of the nectars of love

The vagina or vulva

Willing sheath
Chestnut patch of pleasure
Honeypot
Love grotto
Forested lips/dewy petals (which sound like something out of a gardening manual)

The clitoris

Jewel
Pearl
Kernel (after reading this, I imagined the heroine having a piece of popcorn between her legs)
Delicate pinkening center

Nipples

Sentient little tips (that makes me think of a species of midget aliens)

[Indirectly]

Nipples

Sentient little tips (that makes me think of a species of midget aliens)

ROFL! This whole list was great, but now I'm thinking of nipples with two little "eyes" dotted on with a magic marker and maybe a smile underneath - or, alternately, two tiny pairs of sunglasses... Oh and of course they'd be *talking* nipples! Maybe with deep man voices! What I wouldn't give to see the look on their partner's face the first time! And one of them is maybe a mathematics professor in her spare time -

...

Okay obviously it's way past my bedtime. LOL

[Manat]

[quote=JanDarby;1620683]The thing to remember is, in a good sex scene, it's never about Tab A and Slot B (or Tab A and Tab B or Slot A and Slot B or variations thereof), but about the emotions and the uniqueness of THIS character's (the POV character's) thoughts and emotions, and what information/feeling/insight/decision/etc. he/she brings out of the scene when the tabs and the slots are finished.


I couldn't agree more. Sex, particularly the first time, CAN be one of the most intimate, dangerous and vulnerable experiences a person, and or a couple, ever experience in their lives. It can be a rich and subtle form of communication and incredibly rich fodder for character exploration and growth in any story if handled properly.

[scarletpeaches]

On the other hand, it can just be about two people who wanna get laid. :e2brows:

[Manat]

On the other hand, it can just be about two people who wanna get laid. :e2brows:

Which is fine if you're writng erotica

[scarletpeaches]

I've written a sex scene where the two people weren't in love, but neither is it erotica. So there's an in-between stage as well, where the sex serves a purpose that isn't to show love, but neither is it gratuitous.

[willietheshakes]

I've written a sex scene where the two people weren't in love, but neither is it erotica. So there's an in-between stage as well, where the sex serves a purpose that isn't to show love, but neither is it gratuitous.

Kinda like life, that.

[scarletpeaches]

Indeed. :D

[Manat]

I don't disagree, but if the ONLY reason for the sex is that two people want to get laid, that's pretty close to the definition of erotica. Sex solely for the purpose of gratification, where it's the focus of the story in and of itself and relationship etc. play a secondary role, if any at all. I've had to read some for review purposes ( cough** cough**) and at times I agree it can end up sounding a bit like "insert slot A into slot B." Boring rather than shocking.

[CaroGirl]

SP, you're not a virgin, are you?
I've written a sex scene where the two people weren't in love, but neither is it erotica. So there's an in-between stage as well, where the sex serves a purpose that isn't to show love, but neither is it gratuitous.
I've written a scene like that too. I've written a lesbian love scene, a drug-rape scene, the 'first-time' scene, and, I hope, all were imporant to show character and advance the plot.

[scarletpeaches]

SP, you're not a virgin, are you?

Huh? :Huh:

[CaroGirl]

Huh? :Huh:
Sorry. That's just me trying to be funny. Sometimes I'm not so funny.

[scarletpeaches]

Oh. Right. Well, I may as well be these days. I think it's closed up again.

Oh, wait. TMI, right? I'll shut up now.

[GerriB]

As long as sex scenes have the requisite Story tension, conflict, and characterization, I don't care if they're written out or faded out. I've done both. It all depends on what best fits the Story.

[davids]

I write the dirtiest pornographic sex that I can think of-lots of it-lots of violence that is also pornographic none of which advances anything but my lust to be rotten and make-er-um-more is better!!!!

[Jongfan]

Davids, I must say.. I was a bit flustered after reading your latest.. my Gawd your mind is pure evil/lust/tantric/horny

You have fooled us with your innocence... now I'm off to the showers.. sheesh

[davids]

Yes it is isn't it and dirty putty in your hands-platonically of course and with the greatest and DEEPest respectibals!!!!

[veinglory]

I think it rather depends what you are writing. Gratuitous [insert content type] has a place in a lot of genres. I don't see sex as a separate case from any other activity you might show. Books have gratuitous violence, angst, mention of designer labels, puppies or NASCAR. If that is what the writer wants and the reader wants, why not? There are worse fates than being a pornographer. Not saying its compulsary, of course, just for some (i.e. me) that it is fun profitable and no particular cause for shame or lamentation.

[davids]

I think it rather depends what you are writing. Gratuitous [insert content type] has a place in a lot of genres. I don't see sex as a separate case from any other activity you might show. Books have gratuitous violence, angst, mention of designer labels, puppies or NASCAR. If that is what the writer wants and the reader wants, why not? There are worse fates than being a pornographer. Not saying its compulsary, of course, just for some (i.e. me) that it is fun profitable and no particular cause for shame or lamentation.


How come vein said that soooo much betterer than what I did, huh huh???

Talent that is what it is, plain and simple innate talent!!!! Nevertheless well said

[necia phoenix]

This is how I look at it.
Sex happens. Period. You can write it all flowery and purple prose or blunt but it happens. The same with eating, drinking, climbing, running. Characters are going to interact; they'll eat together, and yes they will sleep together. Me?

I like a good sex scene. Lately I've been reading Angela Knight's Mageverse series and that lady pulls no punches in her sex scenes (she uses the right words for the parts to, which had me giggling in sheer enjoyment of a romance author that finally calls a cock a cock) good scenes there too. That move the plot of the book forward. And that is really what it boils down to in writing. Will jack and Mary getting it on move the plot forward, show growth between the characters, or is it just there to reach a word count?

The same with any scene in a book. Does that conversation move the plot forward? Is it necisary to show the argument between mary and her neighbor? If it doesn't move the story forward cut it or, better yet, don't write it. Does the sex scene move the plot forward? How much detail you put into a sex scene is up to you. There is something endearing about the 'fade to black'.

[John61480]

All this talk about sex on this board has me looking away from my writing and realizing my pitiful love life.

Shame on this forum.

[She_wulf]

How come vein said that soooo much betterer than what I did, huh huh???

Talent that is what it is, plain and simple innate talent!!!! Nevertheless well said
Let's not start talking about innate talent again! EEEK!

[amber_grosjean]

I like a good sex scene. Lately I've been reading Angela Knight's Mageverse series and that lady pulls no punches in her sex scenes (she uses the right words for the parts to, which had me giggling in sheer enjoyment of a romance author that finally calls a cock a cock) good scenes there too. That move the plot of the book forward. And that is really what it boils down to in writing.


When I wrote my book, I tried using the right words but there were so many of them. My scenes had a little detail and were kind of long. My editor said the words were too repetitive so I had to find words to replace meaning the same thing. Cock is the best word to use but poll works too lol. Same thing for the woman. I was trying to choose words that had the right feeling and cockpit sure didn't fit the bill but I liked using flower in some cases. The POV was a man and I think a man might describe the woman's genital as a flower. Of course, being a woman I had to use my imagination on some and talk to men on the others. Most of my friends are men so that helped a little lol.

Amber

[necia phoenix]

When I wrote my book, I tried using the right words but there were so many of them. My scenes had a little detail and were kind of long. My editor said the words were too repetitive so I had to find words to replace meaning the same thing. Cock is the best word to use but poll works too lol. Same thing for the woman. I was trying to choose words that had the right feeling and cockpit sure didn't fit the bill but I liked using flower in some cases. The POV was a man and I think a man might describe the woman's genital as a flower. Of course, being a woman I had to use my imagination on some and talk to men on the others. Most of my friends are men so that helped a little lol.

Amber


good point.
One of my failings is repetition. That must've been an interesting conversation...

[willietheshakes]

The POV was a man and I think a man might describe the woman's genital as a flower.

Well, it would be well down on my list, personally... and really, really dependant on the mood, of course.

[Akuma]

I have never seen this thread before.

[seun]

I know sex is one of those subjects people have strong feelings about but as writers, we need to do what's best for the story. If that goes against our sensibilities, then that's just tough.

If your story and characters require hot, dirty spunky action, then go for it. If 'behind closed doors' fits, do that. If it's something else, then do it. Just write it and forget what you think about sex.

[Indirectly]

Yes this is a completely subjective question. Personally I don't put extra weight on sex in fiction. I don't write in a genre where it's part of the expectation (in fact to some people's taste including any hint of the erotic is a detraction) however as a storyteller my goal is to tell the story. Sometimes that includes sex and sometimes it doesn't. Depends on a lot of factors, but I usually rely on intuition. (AKA decades of reading to develop a 'story sense'.)

In a related (to my way of thinking) point, my personal goals for my fantasy WIP right now are to include eating, going to the bathroom, menstrual periods, and personal hygiene - which seems more risky than a simple sex scene.

[Kristiina]

In a related (to my way of thinking) point, my personal goals for my fantasy WIP right now are to include eating, going to the bathroom, menstrual periods, and personal hygiene - which seems more risky than a simple sex scene.

Good! Comedic or straight? Mostly those things seem to exist only in comedic fantasy. I'm not sure how specific details I would want if the story was of the more romantic, tolkienesque type, but it might be refreshing to be reminded a few times that the heroes actually do have to use the bathroom (or behind of a bush) from time to time. And you probably would not be able to take bathroom breaks from a long battle (ugh, and who cleans their stuff afterwards), and for a female warrior periods should be one of the practical problems she has to think about, unless she can use a spell to postpone them.

[scarletpeaches]

I know sex is one of those subjects people have strong feelings about but as writers, we need to do what's best for the story. If that goes against our sensibilities, then that's just tough.

If your story and characters require hot, dirty spunky action, then go for it. If 'behind closed doors' fits, do that. If it's something else, then do it. Just write it and forget what you think about sex.

This needed quoting.

[scarletpeaches]

...I think a man might describe the woman's genital as a flower...

If a man described my fangita as a 'flower', I'd kick his throbbing purple meat right up into his orbs of manhood.

[NeuroFizz]

If, when writing a sex scene, one abandons the goal of making it arousing and instead concentrates on using the intense interpersonal experience as a means of fleshing out (pun) significant aspects of characterization or even of plot, the author should go for the scene with full skill and enthusiasm. With that said, I think writing a sex scene for the sole intent of arousing the reader is a losing proposition, even in the erotica genre, where the sex still has to be supported by a good story.

Any reader who automatically skips sex scenes in novels may be missing out in some excellent characterization and story development.

Far worse is the reader who assumes that any sex scene is gratuitous if it "keeps the door open" and/or doesn't automaticaly skip to the post-coital cigarette. A sex scene well-done can be an essential, even critical part of a story.

[EriRae]

If a man described my fangita as a 'flower', I'd kick his throbbing purple meat right up into his orbs of manhood.

I see you found another fun thread to read...mmm?

That reminds me, in college I saw the most beautifully disturbing pictures at our college art gallery. They were of peaches: fuzzy outer peach-colored skin, darker meat progressing to deep red, and a dark purple core. Except, upon closer inspection, they weren't peaches...they were women, legs-spread-naked women.

I doubt that's going to help your novel. I keep it short and sweet and cut away from the actual mechanics of sex. My MC's are teens and I show some awkward stuff, but cut away. There's only one scene where it's live for the whole thing, and it's a rape scene, a no-no according to some, but it's necessary.

[scarletpeaches]

Erin, I only live to amuse you, my sweet. :D

[Dave.C.Robinson]

It always comes down to the same thing. Do you need the scene for the story you are telling? If you do then write it. If you don't leave it out.

[Sean D. Schaffer]

Well, I just posted to that thread about songs for a sex scene, and that got me thinking about an old problem of mine.

I'm one of those readers who doesn't much like sex scenes, mainly because most times they don't do much for me. I love the tease scenes (that one in the Loreena McKennitt song 'Highwayman' where he can only touch her tumbling locks, ahh...), but most times when the couple gets past that I start skipping. Or yawning if I decide to read everything through. I much prefer the closing doors, when what happens after that is left to my imagination.

So, in my own writing I tend to leave the actual sex out. But I do like those tease scenes. Am I giving false signals if I use them and then skip the sex?


I say write what your story needs. If it needs a sex scene, write it; if not, don't.

And also, your individual sensitivities definitely are worthy of listening to. If you think a sex scene is not good, then by all means keep it out. You're the writer, and you should be writing what you want to put in your story.

Me, I like sex scenes, immensely. So it should come as no surprise when I write at least one into my novel. Individual tastes, I think, are quite important to how you present a potential sex scene.

I hope this helps you out, and best wishes to you with your work.

:)

[reigningcatsndogs]

Well, I just posted to that thread about songs for a sex scene, and that got me thinking about an old problem of mine.

I'm one of those readers who doesn't much like sex scenes, mainly because most times they don't do much for me. I love the tease scenes (that one in the Loreena McKennitt song 'Highwayman' where he can only touch her tumbling locks, ahh...), but most times when the couple gets past that I start skipping. Or yawning if I decide to read everything through. I much prefer the closing doors, when what happens after that is left to my imagination.

So, in my own writing I tend to leave the actual sex out. But I do like those tease scenes. Am I giving false signals if I use them and then skip the sex?

Actually, I had asked for suggestions for the hottest, sexiest, most sensual piece of music you can think of. Music helps me to set the tone or mood for the scene or for juxtaposition or even for irony. I don't recall mentioning that it was for a sex scene. Your question dosn't bother me, but if my ma or old man came in here snooping and thought I was writing sheet-twisting, my butt would be in a sling!!:D Carry on.

[Sean D. Schaffer]

Actually, I had asked for suggestions for the hottest, sexiest, most sensual piece of music you can think of. Music helps me to set the tone or mood for the scene or for juxtaposition or even for irony. I don't recall mentioning that it was for a sex scene. Your question dosn't bother me, but if my ma or old man came in here snooping and thought I was writing sheet-twisting, my butt would be in a sling!!:D Carry on.

My Emphasis.


Off-topic, I know, but I can think right away of a song I would put into your playlist.

The song is entitled You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling, and the version I'm thinking of -- if you can find it -- is the one by the Righteous Brothers.

That song goes through my mind all the time. A very passionate song, in my not-so-humble opinion.

In fact, I have an LP with that song on it. I think I'll go turn my CD player off and put that LP on.

:D


ETA:

And now I have it on. Wonderful song! I love this music.

:)

[amber_grosjean]

The things my friends actually call women's genitals I really wouldn't want to use. I won't mention them here because they are just gross and wouldn't arouse anyone lol. Some of the other terms I saw like the cockpit just wouldn't work so I had a hard time finding words that I felt weren't used very often by other writers because I wanted to be unique to my readers.

As far as those repetitive words, that wasn't a conversation lol. It was the act where I used to many of the same word. "Move" was one of them, so I pulled out my trusty thesaurus and found words like "advanced", "slid", "slip" and more that showed how someone moved, which worked better and still was arousal for the reader. If someone closes the book when they reached that part of the story, I didn't do my job to make it the best I could.

Amber

[Lady Esther]

Underplayed sex is very effective.

I don't know, whether with the present permissive society in Europe and America, it is possible to have the hero and heroine never uttering a single word of endearment to one another, while the sexual undercurrent rages underneath. It's done quite a lot in India.

Nandu.
Ron and Hermione in Harry Potter

[willietheshakes]

Ron and Hermione in Harry Potter

Harry and Draco...

[Indirectly]

Good! Comedic or straight? Mostly those things seem to exist only in comedic fantasy. I'm not sure how specific details I would want if the story was of the more romantic, tolkienesque type, but it might be refreshing to be reminded a few times that the heroes actually do have to use the bathroom (or behind of a bush) from time to time. And you probably would not be able to take bathroom breaks from a long battle (ugh, and who cleans their stuff afterwards), and for a female warrior periods should be one of the practical problems she has to think about, unless she can use a spell to postpone them.

It's still evolving so until my rough draft is done, I'm not sure what my WIP is (outside of it being some sort of speculative fiction). But I quite agree - I like to read things that have a very human element to them as well as the fantastic.

In fantasy, I'm always wondering how they manage! A lot of women in fantasy don't seem to menstruate or have any concern about pregnancy, and neither males nor females seem to get any kind of nasty consequences for their complete lack of normal human body functions or hygiene. It's fun to keep these things in mind because they can crop up in the most ordinary and expected and completely inconvenient places.

[DeleyanLee]

In fantasy, I'm always wondering how they manage! A lot of women in fantasy don't seem to menstruate or have any concern about pregnancy, and neither males nor females seem to get any kind of nasty consequences for their complete lack of normal human body functions or hygiene. It's fun to keep these things in mind because they can crop up in the most ordinary and expected and completely inconvenient places.

Actually, when I'm reading Fantasy, I'm happy to avoid those topics simply because they are mundane and, frankly, pretty gross and petty compared to what's entertaining and intriguing about the story. Unless that mundane stuff is an integral part of the story (as in LKH's Merry Gentry series where she's trying to get pregnant), I really don't want to be bogged down by it.

Your mileage may vary, of course.

[jennifer75]

So, in my own writing I tend to leave the actual sex out. But I do like those tease scenes. Am I giving false signals if I use them and then skip the sex?


I think that if there is an emotion or a mood that needs to be portrayed in the story telling, sex scenes may be necessary.

But that's just me.

[jennifer75]

Any reader who automatically skips sex scenes in novels may be missing out in some excellent characterization and story development.


Yes yes yes.

A sex scene well-done can be an essential, even critical part of a story.

Can't wait for y'all to read my book! :) lol.
I can't wait to finish writing my book. lol

[ink wench]

It's still evolving so until my rough draft is done, I'm not sure what my WIP is (outside of it being some sort of speculative fiction). But I quite agree - I like to read things that have a very human element to them as well as the fantastic.

In fantasy, I'm always wondering how they manage! A lot of women in fantasy don't seem to menstruate or have any concern about pregnancy, and neither males nor females seem to get any kind of nasty consequences for their complete lack of normal human body functions or hygiene. It's fun to keep these things in mind because they can crop up in the most ordinary and expected and completely inconvenient places.
Continuing the thread highjack... Just had to say that as a fastasy reader/writer, I so appreciate attempts at normality in fantasy stories.

/highjack
And to throw in a somewhat on topic comment... Most sex scenes annoy the crap out of me because they are so unrealistic (and the language makes me laugh). That said, if they're necessary, write them - just make sure what you write is physiologically possible! My favorite one I've written involved a lot of internal monlogue from my MC as she stared at the ceiling wishing the temperature wasn't so hot and that her lover would hurry it up and get off her so she could have a drink. :D

[Koobie]

I don't enjoy reading sex scenes. If I want a sex scene, I'll just watch pr0n. Or, you know. Have sex (as if!). Of course, opinions may vary. :)

[ZannaPerry]

Well....I can't not turn down a sex scene in any book. It's a natural part of life. It's a little awkward reading one when your parents are around (very awkward) but I still never decline the book if it has some great sex in it. ;)

[Wolvel]

I recently let a long time friend of mine read through one of my drafts. Since this post has been bouncing around here I asked him his take on sex scenes.

He said he preferes the way I wrote mine as to leading you to the act without explaining tab p and slot v. He preferes to imagine it himself in his minds eye.

[ZannaPerry]

I like to read sex, but like your friend I'm not all that crazy with the genital words, or medical phrases. To me, that's not a lusty sex scene! That's a huge turn-off. And anything sticky, and.....well, you catch my drift, right?

[She_wulf]

Well....I can't not turn down a sex scene in any book. It's a natural part of life. It's a little awkward reading one when your parents are around (very awkward) but I still never decline the book if it has some great sex in it. ;)
Try reading sex scenes with your children in the room. It's not any easier...

[ZannaPerry]

Never had the pleasure of doing that....yet...but I think my father present is worse. . . . . . .

[Azraelsbane]

I read my first trashy romance at 9. I plucked it off my great aunt's nightstand (I think it was the only book she owned, lol). It was a pirate romance, and I'll never forget where I was when I got to the first sex scene. Sitting at the dinner table waiting for spaghetti and meatballs. "Mom, what kind of rod grows when you touch it?"

*smacks forehead*

[ZannaPerry]

"Mom, what kind of rod grows when you touch it?"

*smacks forehead*

Ahh, gawd!

[stace001]

You know what I hate more than graphic sex in novels? Flowery, romantic, trains-and-tunnels, fireworks sex. "Oh my darling, darling, I love you!" and all that shite. Sex is funny and squelchy and sweaty and you don't always orgasm, and sometimes it hurts.

(But sometimes you want it to). ;)

For those Joss Whedon-Firefly fans...."I'll be in my bunk." :roll:

[stace001]

I read my first trashy romance at 9. I plucked it off my great aunt's nightstand (I think it was the only book she owned, lol). It was a pirate romance, and I'll never forget where I was when I got to the first sex scene. Sitting at the dinner table waiting for spaghetti and meatballs. "Mom, what kind of rod grows when you touch it?"

*smacks forehead*
:roll:outta the mouths of babes!!!

[mkcbunny]

I think the issue of "write what's necessary" has been covered by previous posts, but I think it's also important to write what you are comfortable with writing. Nothing pulls me out of my reading zone like a badly written sex scene. I'll be reading along, enjoying a book, and then the protagonist has sex and the flow is completely interrupted. I'd rather the author alluded to the sex or left it "fade to black" than stumbled around in murky waters unlike the rest of the book. Don't try hot and heavy erotica if you aren't in sync with that creatively.

My WiP needed a sex scene, but I didn't want to write a detailed one. I got the mood started and left them on the living-room floor. The rest is up to the reader to imagine. Much better than my clumsy description of whatever they got busy doing next...