A little help with backstory?

[Joanclr]

I wonder if I could beg the help of some of our great literary minds :) My short story has a firm conclusion, but some of my backstory is weak, and I need some help in analyzing my character's motives and/or reasons in an area that is a bit out of my expertise. Hopefully foreshadowing some of these character traits early on will make the final scenes ring true.

The end result is: the main character, a judge, receives notification that his wife is divorcing him. This devastates him to the extent that he feels his world is crumbling about him, which results in him ending his life.

This guy is a jerk, abusive to his wife, arrogant, insensitive, you name it.

What I need to figure out is (a) why she stayed with him that long (9 years), and (b) why her leaving would so devastate him.

(a) She is a very patient person, and not quick to throw in the towel. Possibly came from long-and-happily married parents and hoped for resolution to their problems. Enjoyed her status and position in the community, hesitant to give that up.

(b) She comes from an uber wealthy family. The charges of abuse would devastate his career and personal standing in the community, and the ruling (which, presumably, due to the abuse would settle in her favor) would leave him with little to live on.

Do those reasons seem sufficient to you to render someone to utter end-it-all desperation? Can anyone think of any additional backstory or reasons to develop this theme any further? I feel at a bit of a roadblock in these particular character details.

Thanks,
Joan

[Maryn]

I find myself less than satisfied with the logic of (b). Although the judge has surely become accustommed to living beyond his means courtesy of Mrs. Judge's money, financial loss and loss of standing in the community seem inadequate cause for suicide.

I mean, people just pack up and start over all the time, right? And some of them do pretty well, on a lot less money and status than they once considered absolutely necessary.

I think that if readers don't buy (b), then (a) might fall, too. Her social status might be elevated by the judge's position in the community, but if she's the money, she's got her own status.

Okay, then why would she stay? She's ashamed of herself for tolerating abuse for so long. She feels she's a failure if her marriage fails. She loves the jerk and believes he's truly trying to do better, ever time he tells the lie. Maybe she's unloveable in some way--short-tempered, self-involved, unattractive, a problem drinker or druggie, whatever. Maybe the judge is a wonderful father--to a child with disabilities. Maybe it's a simple as the fact that he just plain makes her laugh and feel good about the world.

Convince us she has a good reason to stay as long as she did, and left for an equally valid reason, then we'll try for why the judge might fall to pieces (and be unable to pick them up) when she finally goes.

Feel free to ignore all this if it's a poor fit to your story and characters, of course. I'm happy to brainstorm and I'm sure those will better brains will be along shortly.

Maryn

[emeraldcite]

often abusers are controlling people. they need and feel a sense of control by abusing others. in addition, with this male being a judge, it adds to the forward momentum of control. when the relationship fails, he loses control.

the reason the abused stay with the abusers is often a lack of control. since they have hooked up with somebody so in control, they doubt that they know any better. even though they know they are being hurt, they stick with the abuser because of the confidence and power they wield.

since i'm assuming this is a short piece, my question is: how much backstory do you need before it gets in the way. show don't tell. i think that through their actions, you'll allow the reader to draw their own conclusions and offer their own psychiatric evaluations.

show him lose control. maybe bring up something at work as well that is a challenge to his power or his integrity. losing his wife and losing his position may contribute to his demise. just a thought. without more about your story, i can only offer some generalized advice.

good luck!

[Joanclr]

Thank you both for your comments.

Maryn - I agree with you, and those were the very reservations I had. I'm not sure if the reasons, presented or implied, are strong enough to warrant the end result. I like your brainstorming ideas. You've given me some good food for thought.

Emerald - you've really hit on the heart of the issue for me. The wife/abuse/divorce thing is a smaller portion, though pivotal to the denoument. In reality, there is not much room for excessive backstory, as the wife only features in one short scene. I have been wracking my brain to try to figure out how to plant subtle hints of this or that, to try to make the end result believable.

Both the loss of control, as well as the "other issue" at work which serve to rattle him are present in the current story, all of which play a part in his final unraveling.

It's so great getting input from all you talented minds :kiss

[mammamaia]

in my vast and lengthy experience [ahem], arrogant, insensitive, abusive jerks don't kill themselves... they're far more likely to kill their victims [either literally, or legally]... especially ones in positions of power, such as your judge...

imo, the only thing drastic enough to drive him to suicide would be if he were [as he probably would be, given your scenario] a 'hanging judge' and facing prison, where he'd be at the mercy of those he'd sent up... in such a case, he'd not be taking the honorable way out, but the coward's... which would then fit the rest of your story template...

killing himself merely over his wife leaving him just don't wash, honeypot... good luck with this... make sure he gets his due, ok?...
love and hugs, maia

[Yeshanu]

imo, the only thing drastic enough to drive him to suicide would be if he were [as he probably would be, given your scenario] a 'hanging judge' and facing prison, where he'd be at the mercy of those he'd sent up... in such a case, he'd not be taking the honorable way out, but the coward's... which would then fit the rest of your story template...

I agree with that, maia. He'd be far more likely to stalk her and try and get her back, unless...

Perhaps she's laid charges (or the police have) about the abuse. Even if he's not convicted, a charge like that could ruin him in the eyes of his peers...

Another possibility is to make him a little less of a jerk (if it fits the story.) Perhaps he was raised in an abusive home himself, and knows no other way to deal with his anger and frustration. But he doesn't want to recreate the horror of his childhood. Then he might kill himself because he realizes that's just what he's done, and asking for help isn't part of his upbringing, either. That would give the story a bit more of a "tragic" edge, which might change it too much, but maybe not.

As for why she doesn't leave him...

It takes a great deal of courage to leave a marriage. There are financial, emotional, and social barriers that keep abused women "in their place." For example, perhaps she doesn't have the money to support herself. Perhaps she's never held a job, never rented an apartment all on her own, never even balanced a checkbook. Maybe her parents think she's made an absolutely brilliant marriage, and would be devastated (and unsupportive) if she leaves him.

He's a judge. He knows her lawyer. He's a public figure. He knows everybody. And if he's been at all half-good at hiding his abusive tendencies, he'd have a lot of admirers and toadies who wouldn't exactly be falling over themselves to be nice to her.

[Joanclr]

Oh, woe is me! I just typed a huge mega-response, and my window froze and lost it all. Sigh.... so here we go again, take 2.

(I'll be back)

[HConn]

IMO:

She stays with him because she's terrified of leaving him. She believes she's the only one who knows how violent he can be. He's done something that has convinced her that he will kill her, and that no one would believe her if she told how he really is. She'll be ready to leave her when she realizes that others know who the judge really is and there are people out there who will believe her story.

He'll kill himself because something happened that made sure he no longer has control of her. He's been videotaped beating her, for instance, and knows he'll be going to jail for it. He'll lose everything.

Police Chief David Brame shot his wife and then himself because she was going to leave him, and he couldn't stand having everyone in the Tacoma Police department knowing that he couldn't hold on to his wife.

Bud Dwyer shot himself during a newsconference when news of his corruption scandal broke.

I would suggest that it's all about control--who has it, who doesn't, who thinks they do and who thinks they don't.

[Joanclr]

Hi all, I want to thank everyone for the great input on this subject. It's great to be able to brainstorm and see things from all kinds of different perspectives.

I like the idea of making him less of a jerk, and I want to kepe this in mind in case my current slant needs a bit of revision. At the moment he is an out-and-out bad guy, and changing that would give the story a different take, but I'm not convinced it wouldn't be a good method to go, so I'll sit on that one a bit more.

In the revisions I added in a mention of some past wickedness, which 'diggers' from the media or authorities might find if they start probing into his past, which presumably this type of exposure would generate. Added to this, he has been shown to be impulsively violent, using his anger as a spur-of-the-moment weapon. When one thing too many spirals out of control, it seems to feel right that he would naturally take out his violent temper on the only remaining available victim: himself.

I guess we'll see how it all works when my crit readers get ahold of it :) Thanks so much everyone who contributed thoughts!

On this subject, can one actually go to jail for this type of thing? At what point does spousal abuse become an actual crime, beyond the divorce/humiliation/bad publicity/ostracizing of friends/etc.?

Thanks again, everyone!
Joan

[Yeshanu]

On this subject, can one actually go to jail for this type of thing?

Yes.

At what point does spousal abuse become an actual crime, beyond the divorce/humiliation/bad publicity/ostracizing of friends/etc.?

It may depend on where you live. A good place to start fact checking/reality checking might be with someone who works or volunteers in the field. (Lawyers, support workers, etc.)

[mlvalent]

Hi,

I recently did some charity fundraising for a domestic abuse group. They are called "The National Center for the Prevention of Domestic Abuse." I'm assuming they have a website.

This story should be a lot of fun for you to write because it gives you the opportunity to "show" rather than "tell." I would suggest giving your characters behavioral quirks. I.E. The husband has obsessive-compulsive disorder and the wife is on (insert anxiety drug here) something for her acute anxiety. Then, in dialogue, hint about the backstory so that the reader in enticed to put more of the pieces together.

Should you decide to give your character a psychological quirk, I would definitely read real-life examples to fuel the believability of your story.

Hope this puts another spin on things.

Sincerely,

Monica Valentinelli
Arts and Entertainment Moderator
www.flamesrising.com (http://www.flamesrising.com)
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