Injecting personality into third person narration

[Virtual_Space]

Does giving the narrator of a book told from the third person add or detract from the experience? On one hand it seems like it would make for a more active reading experience. But it also seems like it might take away attention from the story. What is everyones opinion on this?

Like for instance, I am trying to write a book about a womans experience after death. What if I made the narrator the "god" figure that controls the afterlife? So he is an active character in the book, and the narrator. Its just an idea I am toying with. I am also toying with the idea that I dont reveal the narrator until the end.

For instance, and this is very quick and very rough and wont even be part of my book. It is merely for an example. And a bad one at that.


Andrea walked slowly down the cold sidewalk, her gaudy coat dragging along the ground in a most despicable fashion. I felt like personally going down to that very sidewalk and ripping it from her back.

She continued to walk, ignoring my constant presence. She knew I was there, she merely chose to ignore the obvious. Insulting, no matter in which manner you view it. For a master to be ignored by a slave, it was unheard of.

The pedestrian signal changed from the old orange hand to the little white man. Andrea immediately began to walk across, clutching her purse tightly. Apparantly even she was not oblivious to her mounting debt. She crossed the street with little fanfare, flaunting it towards me. Chaos seems to care little for her.

Rough, but you should get the idea.

[JenNipps]

I actually think if you make the narrator part of the story, it adds more to it. Sometimes a distant narrator is somewhat distracting and actually takes attention away from the story because you're wondering who the narrator is and what he/she has to do with anything.

That's just me, though.

[Wraith]

I agree, it can be great for the narrator to have a personality, rather than an omniscient distant viewpoint, although maybe 3rd person limited is more direct as you have the character's personality closely followed and he/she's your pov character. It's a bit strange though - if the narrator is the god, he becomes (like in your example) a first-person narrator, and he should have a decent part in the story. And if we only find that out at the end, it could be a bit strange that he followed your MC and told her story - and your pov would be rather distant: he couldn't tell her thoughts as you would in 3rd limited, I think.

But it's probably best to give it a shot. It's hard to create a distant, but definite and original voice for your story, but if you could pull it off, there are nice aspects of being in the head of a god. His attitude could enrich the story a lot, his view of humans could come nicely into play. Whatever your choice, make sure your characters are developed as well as you need them to be and that your narrator choice adds to the story/perspective/whatever. And good luck. :)

[MichaelDeVere]

I haven't injected the narrator into the story per se, but my narrators generally inject opinion, sarcasm, assumptions, and other personality and perspective-driven input.

[DWSTXS]

I like adding the narrator into the story. I would even punch it up a little bit and add a little more personality and sass.


Andrea walked slowly down the cold sidewalk, her gaudy coat dragging along the ground in a most despicable fashion. I felt like personally going down to that very sidewalk and ripping it from her back. But I hold back a little. Because that's how I roll

She continued to walk, ignoring my constant presence. She knew I was there, she merely chose to ignore the obvious. Insulting, no matter in which manner you view it. For a master to be ignored by a slave, it was unheard of. Not for long.

The pedestrian signal changed from the old orange hand to the little white man. Andrea immediately began to walk across, clutching her purse tightly. Apparantly even she was not oblivious to her mounting debt. She crossed the street with little fanfare, flaunting it towards me. Chaos seems to care little for her. I'm about to give her a little taste of fear. rattle her cage so to speak.

[Antony B]

Narration of the sort that (I believe) is being described here is very hard to pull off, but can be very effective when it works.

PG Wodehouse did it very well. Any number of his stories started with a nameless old Drone (member of a gentleman's club in Wodehouse's universe) telling either another character that he'd recently heard a story (often involving another Drone who isn't present). Old Drone would then start telling the story and would become the narrator for the rest of the book.

[whistlelock]

Okay, here's what one of my writing teachers had to say about a third person narrator with personality; "If your narrator is a character yet has the traditional powers of the 3rd person- the ability to know thoughts, be anywhere, and to know anything- you must explain why they have a personality and can be the voice of God. Then, you must explain the stakes the narrator has in the story, because if they are a person and they are telling you this story what is there goal? What secrets do they keep, what lies to they tell, and what truths are revealed? This character narrator must have a reason. Which, ultimately means that as a reader you cannot trust this narrator.

The opposite of course is the more traditional narrator, The Voice of God. This voice reports emotion, but has none themselves. they report thoughts, yet do not have any on their own. The voice can go anywhere, anytime, and know anything without explanation. And it must always tell the unvarnished truth. Which is not to say it will not report a lie, merely that this Voice cannot lie. the reader can trust this narrator explicitly."

So, I've boiled it down like this: if your narrator is a character they had better have a good reason to tell the story to the reader. If your narrator is a narrator- tell the story.

[Use Her Name]

And of course, there is Mr. Watson, who told the Sherlock Holmes tales.

[Buddikins]

Markus Zusak did this in The Book Thief, where Death narrates the story of a young girl. It's a great book, you should check it out.
So, yes, it can be done, and it added a lot to this book.

[billnew]

I'd ditto that on THE BOOK THIEF. This omniscient but personal narrator has his/her own story, with his own conflicts to resolve. What are God's conflicts, what's she going to work out in your narrative?