What goes through your mind when you are waiting?

[Nateskate]

I hate waiting! I hate waiting! I hate waiting!

If you've gotten to the point where you've ever submitted something, anything, there is this waiting game. I've not played this game all that much, but every time I have, it's tapped into my dreams and insecurities.

Lol, I go back and forth like Ralphie in that Christmas story, having delusions of granduer, how the Agent/Producer will see my story as the second coming of Narnia or LOTR. They're jumping with glee and I'll get that phone call or email at any second.

Well, the first time that happened, when it ended with a rejection, it was like getting jilted the day before prom.

But as a whole, as the wait goes on, the reality sets in that they may think my story stinks,and they've already thrown it into the burn pile. Or worse yet, my story really does stink, and it's not just a matter of finding the one agent/whomever, who finally sees my brilliance.

Well, I do believe in my story, and I've reached the "It's a matter of time" phase. But still, I hate waiting, not knowing if it will be "yes" or "no".

What goes through your minds while you wait? How about the first rejections? Of course you rare few who've only gone from glory to glory, feel free to share your thoughts as well.

Sincerely,
Still waiting in Pa.

[sunna]

Waiting definitely sucks. After the first week I usually hit the oh-god-it's awful-why-did-I-send-that-out stage, and have to restrain myself from obsessivly editing out everything I liked about the MS just 7 days ago.

I'm a natural pessimist, I guess. I never knew that about myself until I started submitting. Right now I am fully expecting rejections on the three fulls I have out, and just hoping they have some useful suggestions for me when they tell me I'm wasting my time.

*sigh* I think it's time for some chocolate. And maybe a margarita.

[Shadow_Ferret]

The instant I send it off I start fantasizing about the agent loving it, then a publisher loving it, then the readers loving it, and then watching as the book travels up all the best seller lists, and I start getting all these phone calls from all the major talk shows, and I go on a world-wind tour meeting the President, and then...


then the rejection comes and all my hopes, dreams, and aspirations are dashed.

Until the next time I send it off when the whole cycle is repeated.

[scarletpeaches]

What he said. ^^^

[ORION]

And it gets worse (you didn't want to hear this)
Waiting for an agent
Waiting to submit to publishers
Waiting for editors
Waiting for book to be published
Waiting for reviewers
Waiting for readers
Waiting is the name of the game-
(Chocolate AND alcohol help)

[sunna]

And it gets worse (you didn't want to hear this)
Waiting for an agent
Waiting to submit to publishers
Waiting for editors
Waiting for book to be published
Waiting for reviewers
Waiting for readers
Waiting is the name of the game-
(Chocolate AND alcohol help)



My god, I think I will have a margarita.

[maestrowork]

I'll have a chocolate martini!

I can tell you I'm not the most patient person in the world. In fact, I'm extremely impatient and this waiting thing used to drive me crazy. So I had to learn to busy myself to a point when I didn't even remember there were things out there. That keeps me sane.

[RedScylla]

Let's have another round, huh? I try to reach a state of zen-like acceptance while waiting. I try.

[Southern_girl29]

I hate, hate, hate waiting, and that's what I'm doing right now. I have two more partials out that I'm waiting to hear back from, and several agents who just have the query. Some weeks, I'm Ok. This week, I'm a little down about Psychic Straits, thinking it's awful and no one is ever going to love it.

[Azraelsbane]

I just started querying last week. Basically before sending them was much worse than the waiting stage. I let the printed queries sit on my desk for a week, and every time I looked at them I'd burst into tears. Why was I even thinking of sending it off, when it'd only end in rejection after rejection? However, now that I've sent a few, I feel much more relaxed. I realize they'll likely be rejects, but hell, at least I tried. :)

[vfury]

I try not to get my hopes up too much because it makes the rejection feel even worse. And then if an acceptance does come, it feels even better. (Granted, an acceptance hasn't come yet, but...!) I guess I'm a natural pessimist. XD

I also try not to look at anything I've submitted while I'm waiting because I inevitably end up finding a hundred and one things wrong with it.

[vfury]

However, now that I've sent a few, I feel much more relaxed. I realize they'll likely be rejects, but hell, at least I tried. :)

Exactly. Nothing will happen if we don't try. Good luck! :)

[DamaNegra]

So I had to learn to busy myself to a point when I didn't even remember there were things out there. That keeps me sane.

I drove this attitude to the extreme when I totally forgot about a submission and started deleting the newsletters of an ezine I had submitted to to such an extent I must've deleted the acceptance e-mail. I was pubbed on that ezine but only learned about it one year later when an aunt googled my name and found it :D

[swvaughn]

What goes through my mind while waiting?

*deep breath*

Woo hoo my novel is out on submission! all the editors are going to love it and they'll fight over it and I'll actually have an advance and it'll be a million bucks! okay, I don't care how much it is because it's an advance which means I will actually be getting paid for my fiction yay! and hey, it could be like ten thousand, which is just a few thousand less than what I make in a whole year and I'll be RICH! Yeah. Well. Just because that one editor didn't take it doesn't mean there's a problem, I mean it's just one editor and she loved the story and my writing and she just couldn't take it because it wasn't exactly right for them just a little too YA for adult that's fine well okay all these other editors are saying the same thing -- no big, it can go to YA editors and they'll LOVE it and [repeat first four sentences of rant] and whaddaya mean it's too adult for YA? but... but... all the adult editors said it was too... oh, never mind. okay there's this one out there and she really loves it and it'll be GREAT and she'll say yes and oh. uh, okay. you know, I'm almost done with this other novel that I'm working on and it'll only be maybe a month and then we can start this whole thing all over again and what if no one takes this one either and OH GOD I can't write my way out of a PAPER BAG I just suck somebody shoot me now!!!

That's pretty much what goes through my head. :D

[callalily61]

Oh, wow they asked for the full!
Nothing yet...that's okay.
Still nothing...I suck.
Still nothing... I suck. I suck. I suck rocks.
Still nothing...well, they haven't said no...

In between all this...work on WIPs and pretend I'm not thinking about the above every freaking minute!

alcohol... need alcohol...

[Nateskate]

Waiting definitely sucks. After the first week I usually hit the oh-god-it's awful-why-did-I-send-that-out stage, and have to restrain myself from obsessivly editing out everything I liked about the MS just 7 days ago.

I'm a natural pessimist, I guess. I never knew that about myself until I started submitting. Right now I am fully expecting rejections on the three fulls I have out, and just hoping they have some useful suggestions for me when they tell me I'm wasting my time.

*sigh* I think it's time for some chocolate. And maybe a margarita.

I so relate, though I I've gotten to the point where I'm no longer wondering if I should have sent it.

[Nateskate]

The instant I send it off I start fantasizing about the agent loving it, then a publisher loving it, then the readers loving it, and then watching as the book travels up all the best seller lists, and I start getting all these phone calls from all the major talk shows, and I go on a world-wind tour meeting the President, and then...


then the rejection comes and all my hopes, dreams, and aspirations are dashed.

Until the next time I send it off when the whole cycle is repeated.

Lol. I go from the fantasy tour to borderline dejection long before I actually get a rejection. After so long, I just start anticipating that's why I didn't hear a reply.

[Nateskate]

I'll have a chocolate martini!

I can tell you I'm not the most patient person in the world. In fact, I'm extremely impatient and this waiting thing used to drive me crazy. So I had to learn to busy myself to a point when I didn't even remember there were things out there. That keeps me sane.

Lol, I'm sane between submissions. It's when someone is still looking at something and there's silence.....................................

[Nateskate]

I hate, hate, hate waiting, and that's what I'm doing right now. I have two more partials out that I'm waiting to hear back from, and several agents who just have the query. Some weeks, I'm Ok. This week, I'm a little down about Psychic Straits, thinking it's awful and no one is ever going to love it.


LOl. I'm going from preparing for whatever to casting my characters. I'm going for Jeremy Irons and Clive Owens, with Liam Neeson and Viggo Mortenson on deck.

[Nateskate]

I just started querying last week. Basically before sending them was much worse than the waiting stage. I let the printed queries sit on my desk for a week, and every time I looked at them I'd burst into tears. Why was I even thinking of sending it off, when it'd only end in rejection after rejection? However, now that I've sent a few, I feel much more relaxed. I realize they'll likely be rejects, but hell, at least I tried. :)


It's good you take the risk. I kind of looked at it somewhat pragmatically after my first actual rejection, that if I've gotten it right, it's just a matter of time, and if I don't got it right, then it's back to school until I do.

[Nateskate]

I try not to get my hopes up too much because it makes the rejection feel even worse. And then if an acceptance does come, it feels even better. (Granted, an acceptance hasn't come yet, but...!) I guess I'm a natural pessimist. XD

I also try not to look at anything I've submitted while I'm waiting because I inevitably end up finding a hundred and one things wrong with it.


I was tempted to do that this time, especially as time seemed to drag on. Then I told myself, "Has that ever helped in the past?" Nah. I figure I might as well be somewhat hopeful regardless. I don't think being pessimistic will lesson the pain of a rejection, though I did that before. Well, I'd go back and forth and back and forth, not pure pessimisim.

[Nateskate]

What goes through my mind while waiting?

*deep breath*

Woo hoo my novel is out on submission! all the editors are going to love it and they'll fight over it and I'll actually have an advance and it'll be a million bucks! okay, I don't care how much it is because it's an advance which means I will actually be getting paid for my fiction yay! and hey, it could be like ten thousand, which is just a few thousand less than what I make in a whole year and I'll be RICH! Yeah. Well. Just because that one editor didn't take it doesn't mean there's a problem, I mean it's just one editor and she loved the story and my writing and she just couldn't take it because it wasn't exactly right for them just a little too YA for adult that's fine well okay all these other editors are saying the same thing -- no big, it can go to YA editors and they'll LOVE it and [repeat first four sentences of rant] and whaddaya mean it's too adult for YA? but... but... all the adult editors said it was too... oh, never mind. okay there's this one out there and she really loves it and it'll be GREAT and she'll say yes and oh. uh, okay. you know, I'm almost done with this other novel that I'm working on and it'll only be maybe a month and then we can start this whole thing all over again and what if no one takes this one either and OH GOD I can't write my way out of a PAPER BAG I just suck somebody shoot me now!!!

That's pretty much what goes through my head. :D

LOL. Your last line hit home with something I felt when I kept having to re-edit. "Why can't I get this right!!!"

[David I]

And it gets worse (you didn't want to hear this)


Orion is right, though I'd say that it gets both worse and better at the same time. Because after you land an agent, you still have to deal with the waiting from the publishers, BUT you can say,

"Well, at least I have an agent."

though after a while, this becomes

"Well, at least I have an agent...for all the effing good it does me"

And, or course, there's a new, more complicated version of this at every new level. But at least it's new. The same old SASE rejection thing gets old after a while.

PS. Chocolate has powerful antioxidant properties, and alcohol is of course the foundation of the food pyramid, but I think red wine is healthier than some of the alternatives. Though there's something to be said for the chocolate martinis concept.

[Azraelsbane]

The same old SASE rejection thing gets old after a while.


So, a question about this, since I don't know these things (noob alert). Are all SASE returns rejections, or do they use those to ask for partials too? I wasn't sure if they'd call/email/telepathically connect for partial requests. Just wondering.

[Doodlebug]

So, a question about this, since I don't know these things (noob alert). Are all SASE returns rejections, or do they use those to ask for partials too? I wasn't sure if they'd call/email/telepathically connect for partial requests. Just wondering.


Seeing an SASE in your mailbox is not a kiss of death. You can open it and find a nice surprise. Then again, you can open and find, well, a heart-breaking 'Thanks but you don't meet our needs...' letter as well.

It is so nice to know that we are all in this together.

Waiting is horrible!! Though, after a while, I tend to forget what I've sent out and what I haven't. For me, the worst bit is when I've gotten a little glimmer of hope to go on (the agent who asks for more pages, the mag. that wants a rewrite before they say 'yes' or 'no'.) The worst one for me was when a pair of editors from TOR asked for my entire MS. I was sure that I'd be getting a call with an offer within the next couple of weeks. Well, I heard back over two years later with, you guessed it, a rejection. When I think of myself waiting by the telephone during that time I simply... :roll:

If you're a writer, you've just got to get used to waiting.

[swvaughn]

If you're a writer, you've just got to get used to waiting.

I'm afraid I have completely failed at getting used to it. :D The only thing I'm ever going to be able to do is stand and take it -- because for me, it's like trying to get used to swallowing broken glass. No matter what I do to distract myself.

As me old boss used to say (about everything, including broken bones and profuse bleeding): "You'll be fine. Just walk it off."

:) Riiiiight...

[lostintheweb]

I hate waiting! I hate waiting! I hate waiting!


It is that "day after day" of nothing. I think there is a play in there somewhere.

[Nateskate]

Orion is right, though I'd say that it gets both worse and better at the same time. Because after you land an agent, you still have to deal with the waiting from the publishers, BUT you can say,

"Well, at least I have an agent."

though after a while, this becomes

"Well, at least I have an agent...for all the effing good it does me"

And, or course, there's a new, more complicated version of this at every new level. But at least it's new. The same old SASE rejection thing gets old after a while.

PS. Chocolate has powerful antioxidant properties, and alcohol is of course the foundation of the food pyramid, but I think red wine is healthier than some of the alternatives. Though there's something to be said for the chocolate martinis concept.

LOl- It sounds like a great topic for an article in a writer's mag

[jenstrikesagain]

What goes through my mind when I'm waiting? I try not to think about it. If I start thinking about it I wonder what they're going to say. Will it be nice? Or at least polite? Or will they say, "Quit bothering us, you incompetent hack, and go play with Barbies or something?" It's better not to think about it.

By the way, I've never had a rejection slip that was anything other than polite, and some were downright warm. I hate not being able to believe my own thoughts.

[ORION]

Yes David is right. When you get represented you can say "at least I have an agent."
Then when it sells, "at least my novel sold."
Then you hold that published book in your arms, sleep with it, talk about it...
"Well I guess I can die happy now..."
And now you are TOTALLY dependent on book sellers and readers from this point on.
So have you guys bought LOTTERY or SHOCK and AWE yet?????
And have you written glorious reviews on Amazon and Barnes and Noble or Waterstones?
No?
See what I mean...

[Carrie R.]

First, I don't look at what I sent -- I just don't want to know if I could have changed it more (and I know I could have). Then I set a date when I can start worrying. If I'm not supposed to hear in 6 weeks, then I put that date on my calendar and until then, no thinking about it.

Natch, this doesn't work, but it does keep me from OBSESSING because I can only sneak in the worries :)

I'm in waiting mode right now with a "we may hear on Monday but I won't be surprised if we don't." Sigh.

Someone asked me how long it takes to hear after you submit a book... "anywhere from a few hours to a few years..."

[Just Me 2021]

I'm so glad to hear everybody else feels the same way I do. The waiting game just about kills me, and yet I'd never give up. Sometimes I feel like I'll go insane from all the obsessing about hearing if I've made it over the next hurdle!

[Nateskate]

What goes through my mind when I'm waiting? I try not to think about it. If I start thinking about it I wonder what they're going to say. Will it be nice? Or at least polite? Or will they say, "Quit bothering us, you incompetent hack, and go play with Barbies or something?" It's better not to think about it.

By the way, I've never had a rejection slip that was anything other than polite, and some were downright warm. I hate not being able to believe my own thoughts.

Warm replies soften the pain, but to me they still felt like in junior high when you had that giant crush, and the one you were so head over heals in love with said "no" nicely.

[Nateskate]

First, I don't look at what I sent -- I just don't want to know if I could have changed it more (and I know I could have). Then I set a date when I can start worrying. If I'm not supposed to hear in 6 weeks, then I put that date on my calendar and until then, no thinking about it.

Natch, this doesn't work, but it does keep me from OBSESSING because I can only sneak in the worries :)

I'm in waiting mode right now with a "we may hear on Monday but I won't be surprised if we don't." Sigh.

Someone asked me how long it takes to hear after you submit a book... "anywhere from a few hours to a few years..."

LOL, by 6 weeks I forget I wrote a novel. It's when they ask for it, and I know some kind of answer is coming that starts me checking my emails every day. It's like watching water boil, only worse.

[popmuze]

[quote=Nateskate;1724433by 6 weeks I forget I wrote a novel[/quote]

Someone once said (maybe it was me) that the decision only comes when you're two weeks past the point of having given up all hope. This is true whether waiting for an agent to reply to a full or a publisher to reply to an agent.

Right now I am with Nateskate, in that I no longer have any idea of how many things I've got out there, how long they've been out, who has them, who has rejected them, if they're still out there, if I ever even wrote any of them, and why I wanted to do them in the first place. If and when an acceptance comes, I will be so stunned I will have to remember how to write all over again. In the case of the non-fiction proposal, I'll have to wake up to the fact that now I've got to actually go out and do the book. As for the fiction, I'll have to wake up to the idea that an editor may want to have me radically rewrite it. But I have no idea what it is about any longer, so that may take some doing.

[J. R. Tomlin]

I drove this attitude to the extreme when I totally forgot about a submission and started deleting the newsletters of an ezine I had submitted to to such an extent I must've deleted the acceptance e-mail. I was pubbed on that ezine but only learned about it one year later when an aunt googled my name and found it :DThey published it without a contract?