How do you use flashbacks in writing?

[BlueLucario]

I'm sorry. I just started chapter three of my first novel. And I can't concentrate. The scene starts out about the main character about to take a bath. She whole head is underwater and she closes her eyes.

but I don't know how to start the flashback.

I know flashbacks tend to be confusing, but my MC has lost her memory and she needs flashblacks to get her memories back.

Think of it like this movie. The Bourne Trilogy, when Jason Bourne keeps getting all these flashbacks. But I don't know how to describe them. I don't know how to start it and end it.


I'm sorry to bother you guys, and I tend to be annoying with questions. but I neded some help.

[DeleyanLee]

You want to see flashbacks done extremely well, look at The DaVinci Code. Say what you might about liking or not liking the book, but the way Brown handled the flashbacks was masterful.

[dempsey]

I wouldn't know how Brown writes flashbacks. I didn't get past page one.

I personally don't write flashbacks in terms of an entire scene. I try to write them as I personally remember things. I don't recollect entire scenes, just snippets, details of the moment that stood out to me.

[Stew21]

When my narrator goes into back story it is typically set off by an event or thing. I don't really call them flashbacks either. He's more just explaining plot points by looking at past moments - exposition of backstory.

Is it something about the bath, the bubbles, the being underwater that causes the flashback or is it just a random memory?

Just an example:

Clara closed her eyes as she relaxed in the bath. The foam of the bubbles tickled against the skin of her arms and chest as they surrounded her. She leaned back and allowed herself to slide below the surface, to submerge. The relaxation that was her goal melted away underwater as the warm water covered her face. The sensation, a familiar one, of holding her breath, and warm water against her face sent a cascade of images through her mind. The bath and her mother. Clara was young. Her mom sang to her as she washed the young girls hair. Her long thin fingers stroked Clara's head. Then gasping, the hand that had just so gently touched her held her below the surface. The struggle to resurface against the strong hand holding her down, flailing against the water. The singing, muffled by the water, still sounded like "Yellow Submarine" but garbled and ominous. The sharp pain in her lungs signaled she was too long without breath. Clara panicked and sprung from the water; she burst through the surface and sent clouds of bubbles around the bathroom. She heaved for breath and scrambled from the tub.



er....something like that. It could actually do more showing and less telling, but hell, it was spur of the moment and I think you'll get the idea.

[althrasher]

Generally, too much.

[James D. Macdonald]

How do you use flashbacks in writing?

Sparingly.

[cethklein]

I try to make them short and sweet. I try to slip them in only where they are needed. Long flashbacks tend to distract the reader it seems. I don't want them to get so wrapped up in a flashback that they forget about what's going on in the "present".

Of course this is only true in MY flashback sequences which, as I said, are usually put into the middle of scenes. If a flashback is the central part of a chapter I suppose it could be longer.

[Stew21]

Listen to Uncle Jim.
Yes! Those whole chapter flashbacks are brutal.
Make your point and get out. A true memory resurfacing has very few details. Short and simple.

[melaniehoo]

When I use them, I just jump in. It should be clear that you've moved to the past by the story you're telling. If your character is in the bath and you don't have her get out, then she must be remembering something from her past. As for techniques, some people set it off in italics, but I'd worry more about the actual content for now.

[mscelina]

I use flashbacks rarely. Very rarely. If a piece of backstory is that vital to the character's situation (or way of thinking, as is the case in Asphodel) I have to seriously question if it actually IS backstory. I've found over time that most of the flashbacks I use in the first draft of any one of my books can be eliminated in second or third drafts. For the most part they turn out to be something that my writer's brain inserts as a way to explain a character's motivation/beliefs/fears/loves etc. After a second or third draft, those things are usually clearer to a reader and don't require the heavy-handed flashback info dump to explain them away.

That being said, if a flashback is absolutely, positively necessary to relay the information you (the narrator/voice) wish to relay, and judging from the scenario you set out they would seem to have some merit, keep them short and to the point. I wouldn't lay out pages and pages of vivid flashback narrative; at first consideration I'd probably keep them short and fast and almost jagged--if you get my point.

And then, of course, THAT being said I must confess that I began my first book with a nine page scene from my MC's past--set up in a lovely prologue that gave me lots of cut and paste flashback action anytime she needed to get REALLY mad about something. Just get the story down on paper; don't worry about the flashbacks until you're revising. Odds are you'll be able to cut them down substantially once you have a better idea of what you need.

Good luck.

[BlueLucario]

I mean like how do you START a flashback

[Stew21]

I mean like how do you START a flashback

Something in the present triggers it. Follow that thought.

[scarletpeaches]

You want to see flashbacks done extremely well, look at The DaVinci Code. Say what you might about liking or not liking the book, but the way Brown handled the flashbacks was masterful.

In your opinion.

Nothing about that book was masterful - in my opinion. Flashbacks have to be written well to be engaging and I didn't care about one single character in that book which read, to me, like a "don't do this" manual for aspiring novelists.

But how to do flashbacks? I can only say how to not do them. Every time a character looks at a photo or other memento and the author says, "Suddenly, she was ten years old again," or "He felt himself drifting into the past, to that fateful day..." I cringe.

[NeuroFizz]

Action triggers reaction, and flashback is a form of reaction. If you are doing it just as an info dump for the reader, you may want to find a better way to couple it to the events of your story that impact your characters.

And, I agree with Uncle Jim. You can also seed a single flashback throughout the story (not tell it all at once), as a way to increase tension or suspense, and as a way to avoid the hell of a tangential flashback abyss.

[willfs]

Could you find some kind of creative transition in her present thoughts that leads into whatever event she is flashin back to. You might need to insert something into the scene to help. "Why is she suddenly recalling old info?" Answering that question will help you transition. If there is no reason. Then you might write about the fact that for no apparent reason these memories came to her.

[mscelina]

How do you start a flashback? It depends on what its purpose is. Does the flashback occur in a dream? Does some external event or sensation trigger it? Does the character come across it accidentally while thinking about something else? I think these are questions you have to answer before you get involved in a convoluted series of flashbacks without rhyme or reason. Flashbacks are just memories--when you have a flashback, how does it start for you?

[jannawrites]

It can be handled simply with format. Ie: In the one flashback my WIP has, I separate the MC's present time from the flashback by double-spacing twice, so a new section has begun. Phrasing and tenses help set the scene as a flashback, and then when it's over I've double-spaced twice again, picking up with the action/setting as it was before. It's all about using your words and phrasing to create the allusion.

[BlueLucario]

What if your MC has amnesia and you NEED those flashbacks. I mean alot of them

[scarletpeaches]

If your MC has amnesia, how would they remember anything to flashback?

[jannawrites]

Are the flashbacks used when she gets snippets of memory back?

[Stew21]

What if your MC has amnesia and you NEED those flashbacks. I mean alot of them


If you need your amensiac MC to get memories back, then you better make sure there is a strong correlation between what she is remembering and the plot in the present, and even more importantly that the pieces (and they can only be small pieces) need to be strung very tightly and cohesively.

[BlueLucario]

Anyone seen the Bourne Movies? Like Jason who remembers nothing, everything comes to him,. Like visions. I can't explain it.

[mscelina]

What if your MC has amnesia and you NEED those flashbacks. I mean alot of them

wait a second. Listen for just a moment: flashbacks should be used sparingly if at all. Rarely. Not that often. Not alot. If your amnesiac MC NEEDS the flashbacks to tell her story, why not just tell the story in real time and forget about the flashbacks altogether? The MC needs a pertinent, current time storyline to drive your novel no matter how reliant that storyline is upon the past.

[scarletpeaches]

Anyone seen the Bourne Movies? Like Jason who remembers nothing, everything comes to him,. Like visions. I can't explain it.

Oh dear.

No, seriously. Not to be over-critical, but 'explaining things' is what a writer does, so you'd better learn how to describe things if you're to finish your book.

[BlueLucario]

wait a second. Listen for just a moment: flashbacks should be used sparingly if at all. Rarely. Not that often. Not alot. If your amnesiac MC NEEDS the flashbacks to tell her story, why not just tell the story in real time and forget about the flashbacks altogether? The MC needs a pertinent, current time storyline to drive your novel no matter how reliant that storyline is upon the past.


What do you mean?

[Stew21]

wait a second. Listen for just a moment: flashbacks should be used sparingly if at all. Rarely. Not that often. Not alot. If your amnesiac MC NEEDS the flashbacks to tell her story, why not just tell the story in real time and forget about the flashbacks altogether? The MC needs a pertinent, current time storyline to drive your novel no matter how reliant that storyline is upon the past.

bolding mine. bears repeating.

:)

[mscelina]

What do you mean?

I am going to work from the assumption that you are a young (meaning novice) writer. If you have a PhD in Physics, now would be the time to let me know.

In plain words, it doesn't matter how interesting your character's flashbacks are. The flashbacks aren't--or shouldn't be--the story. What is happening to her NOW is the story. If, for some reason, this isn't the case with your novel, then you're writing the wrong story. If the flashbacks are more important than what is happening to her NOW, then THAT'S the story you need to write: you need to take what you're showing in the flashbacks and make it into the current, NOW story of your character.

Regardless, the fact remains that flashbacks should be used sparingly by almost any writer.

[NicoleMD]

In plain words, it doesn't matter how interesting your character's flashbacks are. The flashbacks aren't--or shouldn't be--the story. What is happening to her NOW is the story. If, for some reason, this isn't the case with your novel, then you're writing the wrong story. If the flashbacks are more important than what is happening to her NOW, then THAT'S the story you need to write: you need to take what you're showing in the flashbacks and make it into the current, NOW story of your character.

Regardless, the fact remains that flashbacks should be used sparingly by almost any writer.

Phooey!

All this anti-flashback nonsense is nonsense. If this is your first draft, write all the flashbacks you want to. It'll help flesh out your characters. When you're done, go back and figure out which flashbacks are necessary.

It sounds to me like the OP might have two timelines happening simultaneously, which is perfectly fine, and not really flashbacks at all anyway. I'd just stick them in different chapters and work them in as it feels right. Trust yourself to do what's right for your novel. And read, read, read to see how others do it successfully.

Nicole

[mscelina]

Phooey!
*snip*
If this is your first draft, write all the flashbacks you want to. It'll help flesh out your characters. When you're done, go back and figure out which flashbacks are necessary.

*snip*
Nicole

Which is exactly what I said in an earlier post.

Just get the story down on paper; don't worry about the flashbacks until you're revising. Odds are you'll be able to cut them down substantially once you have a better idea of what you need.

But, thank you for dismissing my last post so summarily. It always encourages me to post more often. So, phooey to you too. :)

[IceCreamEmpress]

Movies and novels don't necessarily have the same grammar of storytelling.

Why not read some novels with lots of flashback scenes and see what approaches work best for you, as a reader?

The Bourne Identity, the original novel by Robert Ludlum (now available in tie-in paperback everywhere), does the amnesia/flashback very skilfully, in my opinion.

The Other Shulman, by Alan Zweibel, is told entirely in flashbacks experienced by the protagonist as he runs a marathon. Probably harder to find in bookstores or libraries, though.

[FennelGiraffe]

I mean like how do you START a flashback

Find a specific sensory detail in the story present that echoes the same sensory detail in the flashback memory. Remember that people have five senses. In fact, for this, sight is the least useful. Mostly use sounds, scents, tastes, and textures. Hmm, strong emotion will work, too.

Here's an example of a transition moving into the flashback:As Maria inhaled the sweet fragrance of spring flowers, the garden she was walking through faded away. Instead, she was standing in a marble-tiled entry, her face buried a bouquet. [and go on into the flashback here]
The scent of spring flowers is the specific connection between the present and the memory. Although I didn't actually say she was smelling the same scent in the past, it's implied by "her face buried in a bouquet".

[BlueLucario]

Movies and novels don't necessarily have the same grammar of storytelling.

Why not read some novels with lots of flashback scenes and see what approaches work best for you, as a reader?

The Bourne Identity, the original novel by Robert Ludlum (now available in tie-in paperback everywhere), does the amnesia/flashback very skilfully, in my opinion.

The Other Shulman, by Alan Zweibel, is told entirely in flashbacks experienced by the protagonist as he runs a marathon. Probably harder to find in bookstores or libraries, though.


I didn't know the Bourne series was a book!

[dpaterso]

I didn't know the Bourne series was a book!
Author Robert Ludlum's (http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=Robert+Ludlum+Bourne) name appears in the film credits.

-Derek

[Bufty]

Blue, have a happy christmas, lass.

But don't expect me to answer any of these never-ending and silly questions.

Sorry, guys, but they are silly.

Blue should be concentrating on the basics of grammar and punctuation and the use of words, and reading a LOT, and thinking about what she's reading and not having these silly questions answered - they only encourage her to ask more when she doesn't seem to have a clue where she's at despite having been told often enough.

[jst5150]

As to the flashbacks, My MC's mother suffers from alzheimer's. The MC does all these quirky things to show he's got a solid memory and that he's smart. In fact, he's annoying in the way he tries to continuosly remind his sidekick that he's smart (e.g., mentions his IQ, and so on).

I use flashbacks to show how his mother's debilitation from youth to old age exacerbates his need to do this to people. The flashbacks serve as his way of crystalizing not only his own memory functions, but remembering his childhood, which includes growing up in Brooklyn, the Dodgers and more.

Ironically, there's an 11-year memory "hole" in his life, too, that comes after his adulthood starts. He's not sure what to do with this. Neither am I. :D

[ACEnders]

I personally don't write flashbacks in terms of an entire scene. I try to write them as I personally remember things. I don't recollect entire scenes, just snippets, details of the moment that stood out to me.

This is how I do flashbacks also.

But I see your delimma, and it doesn't help that everyone out there warns against using flashbacks. But you need to use them, so I'd just try to make it as natural as you can. Close your eyes and put yourself in that bathtub. Imagine sinking down into the water and having that flashback. Most likely, it would start out with just a snippet - like she see someone's face or someone raising a knife above their head. Maybe then she sits up, surprised at what she just saw. Then she closes her eyes to bring that snippet back but she can't....

I don't know though if that fits into what your saying.

[BlueLucario]

This is how I do flashbacks also.

But I see your delimma, and it doesn't help that everyone out there warns against using flashbacks. But you need to use them, so I'd just try to make it as natural as you can. Close your eyes and put yourself in that bathtub. Imagine sinking down into the water and having that flashback. Most likely, it would start out with just a snippet - like she see someone's face or someone raising a knife above their head. Maybe then she sits up, surprised at what she just saw. Then she closes her eyes to bring that snippet back but she can't....

I don't know though if that fits into what your saying.

Actually, I like it. It does fit into what I'm saying. Thanks.

[BlueLucario]

Blue should be concentrating on the basics of grammar and punctuation and the use of words, and reading a LOT.

I have. I said that many times I already know the basics. *Sigh*

[Mel]

I have a WIP, sitting at 67K+ where one of the MC's has amnesia but there are no flashbacks. Is his finding out why he has this important to the story? Yes. Very. Is he frustrated by not remembering? Very much so. Did I stay away from flashbacks consciously? No. Subconsciously? Maybe, I don't know. Each piece of the story is part of the whole.

Will he end up with flashbacks? I think after reading this I will, consciously, try to avoid that and hope that everything flows together without any.

That said, each story needs whatever it needs to get to the end. But mostly you are not going to know what will be changed in the rewrites, so getting to "the end" is more important, for me, and then deciding what stays, what goes, and what needs to be added.

[ACEnders]

Actually, I like it. It does fit into what I'm saying. Thanks.

You're welcome. :)

[FennelGiraffe]

Blue should be concentrating on the basics of grammar and punctuation and the use of words, and reading a LOTI have. I said that many times I already know the basics. *Sigh*
Obviously, none of us, not even Bufty, can tell what you actually know. All we can see is what you use. And what we see, both in your comments and in your posted excerpts, is a lack of the basics of grammar and punctuation. It's possible that you do know them, but aren't in the habit of using them. So let me suggest a small rephrasing:
Blue should be concentrating on practicing the use of the basics of grammar and punctuationBut more than anything else, READ. You can't learn to write by watching movies. On the other hand, many movies are based on books. If there's a movie you like, google it--see if it was a book first (then read that book).

Read many books. Read a wide variety of books. Read books that are similar to what you want to write. Read books that are very different. Read books that everyone is talking about. Read books that are classics. Read books that no one you know has ever heard of, books you pick at random from the library shelves. Read the books that have been suggested here. Read the books your librarian recommends. From your age, I'm guessing you're still in school--read the books your teachers recommend.

Just READ.

[Bufty]

Agreed - and there is no writing equivalent to 'Painting by Numbers'.

[Toothpaste]

There is also the kind of flashback that sort of appears as flashes. Think the most recent Harry Potter movie (one of the things I thought they actually got right). Instead of falling into a linear narrative you could hint at things (calling your MC Julia to make things easy for me):

Julia closed her eyes and sunk low into the bubbles. A baby. Julia sat upright, causing the water from the bath to spill out onto the floor. Her heart was beating fast, and she didn't know why. She blinked a few times, but it was no good, the image of a small infant crying was burned onto her retina.


You see what I did? Sometimes we don't remember things as if they are movies playing in front of our eyes. Sometimes all we see is one image. Later we may see another, and then we slowly put things together. I like stuff like that because not only is it less straightforward, it can be really creepy too.

[HeronW]

Questions are never annoying, they remind us of what we shouldn't forget to do or not to do. :}

Flashbacks should be in appropriate places where something fairly logical triggers the memory.

Head under water for adult woman:
bad/good memory of learning to swim & being molested by whomever
being threatened with drowning after seeing pet dog wet and lifeless--'this will happen to you/your family if you tell anyone' sez perptrator, etc.

More for a child, water as punishment by being made to hold it and not urinate, or being forced to drink and drink until she's sick, being burnt by boiling water, repeatedly scalded in tub at bathtime--all these are horrible true ways one can read of in wayyyy too many child abuse cases. Lots of evil sh-t can be places around water.

The one element we come from, waters of the womb, can be turned into something monstrous once we're out...

[mscelina]

Agreed - and there is no writing equivalent to 'Painting by Numbers'.

Very good point. I got a grammar book for Christmas and I was thrilled.

Writing is like any other craft: the more you practice it, the more your skill is refined. For almost any of us, it's a constant learning experience--drilling grammar, spelling, and punctuation into our heads until the proper usages are second nature. Trust me: you have no idea how much you have left to learn until you get line edits back from a publisher. All those comments and red lines are truly horrifying.

[Dustry Joe]

They mean that they read too many books by non-selling writers who write books on how to write. Probably some exposure also to film writing gurus.

There is nothing about a flashback that is inherently bad. ESPECIALLY in the specific case of an amnesia victim for crissakes.

Something to understand is that "flashback" in literary parlance doesn't mean the same thing it means when talking about VietVet acidheads or some such. It's merely a scene from the past. It's hard to imagine anybody feeling any sort of compulsion not to use such a thing in a book.

Now, if you're talking about the hallucination kind of flashback, there are lots of ways to slice it up. One would be just to present it as a scene from the past. Another would be to dress it up in hotflash drag...
something white...coming closer...a swirl of guazy skirts obscuring it...HER skirts!...

Both are very commonly done.

Since the flashbacks are a staple of your piece, you might consider some way of setting them apart from the normal narrative. People use italics for this (which I hate and only work on a short paragraph or less) line breaks, indented margins. Or perhaps all you need is a tag that tells us we are in that territory.
That same place, wherever it was. But winter now.... etc.

Don't listen to THAT. Listen to THIS. Concentrate on finding a solution that works with your unique story and the narrative voice that is telling it. Don't look over your shoulder wondering if it's okay to use flashbacks or adverbs or whatever.

Good luck


BTW, your head in the water thing flashed ME back to a Brian DePalma film with Rebecca Sajin-Stamos. The emergence of her lovely head from bath water is one of the more dramatic (and, in my opinion idiotic) uses of flashback since Bobby Ewing stepped of the shower on Dallas)

[dempsey]

I have. I said that many times I already know the basics. *Sigh*

The fact that you have had to say it so many times is rather telling.

If you're going to read the movie's book, make sure the book was written before the movie. People do novel adaptations of film but it's not nearly the same thing.

[Stew21]

The best thing you can do is stop asking questions and just write. Write and write and write. It doesn't matter how well you do your flashbacks at this point. you just have to write them. Just write, and when you're not writing, read. Read and read and read. Everything you can get your hands on should be read.
Then write some more. Don't worry about how to do things for a novel; work on some short stories, work on some essays. Just worry about telling the story, then take what you've learned from reading and writing and apply it with a firm hand to your second draft and everything you write thereafter. Start another story, use what you've learned to make it the best you can. Read more. Write more.
If you are trying to base flashbacks in a novel to how they appear in a movie, then are not learning the craft of writing. If you are trying to figure out what makes a good character, by the movies you like, then you are not learning the craft of writing. You have to write. Give yourself permission to not know how to do everything and learn by doing, not by asking.
Just start writing. Keep writing. Keep reading.


Trish, "repeat"

[mscelina]

Yes...it sounds like an echo chamber in here. An echo from not so long ago...an echo that finally, in the end, died and disappeared.

[Rowdymama]

It's my opinion that anyone who can't post a message without spelling and grammar mistakes should take that as a sign they need to brush up on their basic skills. If it's just a typo, that tells me you don't read your messages, either as you type or when finished, to make corrections.

As for flashbacks, in my WILP, I use a flashback in the very beginning. It is in the narrator's voice (3rdP OM). It uses the lead: "What happened was," which may sound awkward to some, but it's perfectly legitimate, and works well in context. A flashback needs a good lead-in. And above all, it should be interesting, so the reader doesn't care that it took place five days before. It is true that things seen can summon a memory, but so can smells, touches, music, etc.

I didn't get past the cover of The DaVinci Code. But whenever I come across a book that employs amnesia as a plot device, I groan. It's a rare condition - complex, and difficult to write convincingly. Novice writers tend to use it to try to create interest. To me, it screams "beginner," and creates disinterest. Just my opinion, of course.

God Squad Member

[Prawn]

In your opinion.

Nothing about that book was masterful.

Except the marketing.

[deathwizard]

Find a specific sensory detail in the story present that echoes the same sensory detail in the flashback memory. Remember that people have five senses. In fact, for this, sight is the least useful. Mostly use sounds, scents, tastes, and textures. Hmm, strong emotion will work, too.

Here's an example of a transition moving into the flashback:As Maria inhaled the sweet fragrance of spring flowers, the garden she was walking through faded away. Instead, she was standing in a marble-tiled entry, her face buried a bouquet. [and go on into the flashback here]
The scent of spring flowers is the specific connection between the present and the memory. Although I didn't actually say she was smelling the same scent in the past, it's implied by "her face buried in a bouquet".

That's a nice example.

[ZannaPerry]

I have a flashback scene that has been beating me up ever since I wrote it. What I plan on doing is mixing it up with a present scene. Example, my MC is driving back to her hometown where tons of bad memories drown her in tears as she thinks back the night she ran away.

Would that be a good way if written well?

[FennelGiraffe]

I have a flashback scene that has been beating me up ever since I wrote it. What I plan on doing is mixing it up with a present scene. Example, my MC is driving back to her hometown where tons of bad memories drown her in tears as she thinks back the night she ran away.

Would that be a good way if written well?
The thing is, there are two kinds of flashbacks. One is just a couple of sentences in the middle of a present scene, and the other is a fully fleshed out scene in the past.As Sara rolled out the cookie dough, her thoughts went back to the long-ago rainy afternoon, standing on a chair pulled up to the counter in this same kitchen, when she was first allowed to help Nana make cookies.
That could be the entirety of the flashback. The next sentence could be back in the present scene, continuing the present action.Her hands stilled as her eyes grew blurry, until a shrill ring shattered the silence. She hastily dusted the flour from her hands and reached for the phone.
Or, that same sentence could be the transition into a complete scene from the past.She had anticipated this honor ever since her sixth birthday two months earlier. After watching her cousins in previous years, Sara had known it would be her turn this year. [and you go on with a complete, fully-developed scene in the past, before you transition back to the present]
Either way, though, you should make sure you have an actual scene--something actually happens, not just a bunch of random memories. The difference is that one way the scene occurs in the story present and the flashback is just a brief interruption, while the other way the flashback is the scene which occurs in the story past.

[Dustry Joe]

Nothing palls me more than those "transitions" artificially hung on tags. As a film technique it works: not necessary for writing.
And people who do it get so carried away.

In the example given above, for instance, we see the garden "fading away". Has anybody ever had their surroundings fade away while thinking of a past incident?

When you start getting cute, the slope to silly gets steep. There is no need for the viewpoint hovering on the object or word before zipping back to flashback land. So it starts being like all those girl's stories where the chick admires herself in the mirror in order to get in her description.

Whereas, a good writer gets in in so effortlessly you don't notice it.

There is no compelling reason not to just write the sentence or phrase from the past straight-up.

This stuff really bugs me. I am reading (I doubt I will finish it) my first Clive Cussler novel because his agent said he might like an MS of mine if it were more like old Clive's.

I immediately ran into this:
The guy is sitting in the open bay of a plane waiting for a fighter to come back, and hoping he can shoot it down with a carbine.
"He checked the gun once more and sat down to wait; his thoughts drifting to the big man who was piloting the plane."

Maybe I'm the only one who, when death is imminent and I'm about to start trying to kill somebody with an inferior weapon, starts having drifty, expository thoughts.

I don't like "tea cozy" writing where you drape doilies over things.

You want to visit the past, just do it. If you feel a preamble is necessary, there are very simple ways to pull that off.

[willfs]

Something suddenly came to me when it comes to this whole amnesia/flashback thing!!!

I had a friend who fell and hit his head and had temporary amnesia. He could remember who he married, where he lived, and stuff like that but he couldn't remember what we were doing that day. When he began to remember what had happened - he just started remembering. Nothing really cued him in on any particular event.

Have you researched amnesia suffers to see how they begin to remember their past? That might help you with your transition. It will also add some legitimacy to your work.

[M.A.Gardener]

Margaret Atwood's "The Blind Assassin" is a great example of flashbacks as told in a parallel storyline.

[CheshireCat]

Blue, have a happy christmas, lass.

But don't expect me to answer any of these never-ending and silly questions.

Sorry, guys, but they are silly.

Blue should be concentrating on the basics of grammar and punctuation and the use of words, and reading a LOT, and thinking about what she's reading and not having these silly questions answered - they only encourage her to ask more when she doesn't seem to have a clue where she's at despite having been told often enough.

What Bufty said.

I have. I said that many times I already know the basics. *Sigh*

You just keep on saying that, Blue. Because saying it doesn't mean crap. You're on a writers forum. If your posts are riddled with errors and the material you post is riddled with errors, our natural assumption is that you need to learn and/or practice the basics of grammar and punctuation.

Any of us trying to help you figure out how to use flashbacks or adverbs or metaphors or anything else isn't going to help you until you have a solid foundation on which to build.

And the first block of that foundation is reading. You have demonstrated again and again that you have little or no awareness of books, from not knowing who Dan Brown was (Oh, come on! Every writer in the world is aware of him, if only to be able to happily trash his work.) to being unaware that the Bourne movies are based on bestselling books.

As others have already advised, you need to read. A lot. (Which is two words!) Everything you can get your hands on.

The current New York Times bestseller list, in hardcover, includes books by: James Patterson, Khaled Hosseini, Sue Grafton, Dean Koontz, Mitch Albom, Ken Follett, John Grisham, Nicholas Sparks, and David Baldacci -- a pretty good cross-section, actually. The mass market paperback bestseller list includes books by: Nora Roberts, Richard Matheson, Michael Crichton, Clive Cussler, Nelson DeMille, Mary Higgins Clark, Lilian Jackson Braun, and Stephen King. Again, a good cross-section of popular fiction authors.

Have you read their work? Are you even familiar with the names? Because I'd venture a guess that most of the aspiring writers on this forum are at least familiar with these authors' names, and have probably read work by at least half of them.

Have you?

Until you have a solid background in reading, I don't believe your writing can possibly improve.

Just my opinion, of course.