INT. WOODEN CHEST??

[avid-dreamer]

Ok you pros, I have another question that may sound silly.:)

Let's say my main guy is trying to elude a bad guy and he crawls into an antique chest , but he can see the bad guy through the cracks in the wood. I want the viewers to see this from his point of view. How should I write that? Example:

INT. STUFFY OLD CHEST. NIGHT

Billy has a clear view of the blah, blah, blah...

Does that even make sense? :Shrug:

Thanks!

[krano]

how about

INT. STUFFY OLD CHEST. NIGHT

The <bad guy> sees <the good guy> through large cracks in the chest.

I think the idea that viewers will see from the bad guy's POV is implied.

[MrJayVee]

First of all, you wouldn't write "stuffy" in the scene heading. If anything, it belongs in the description. But really, "stuffy" is something we'd smell, isn't it? Just leave it out. Anyway, you could do something like this:

INT. OLD CHEST - NIGHT

Leon is stuffed into this cramped space, tight as a ball and barely able to move his head. But he's able to peer through a crack in the gnarled wood....

[clockwork]

INT. STORAGE ROOM - NIGHT

Jack hears the guards coming. He turns, spots a wooden chest just big enough and dashes over. He slips inside as the guards pour in.

The guards fan out, searching the room as

IN THE CHEST

Jack lies still. He peers through a crack in the wood - sees a pair of boots approaching. Jack inhales, holds his breath.

******************************

As Krano said, point of view is implied.

[FinbarReilly]

Oh yeah, make me recant something I just said in another thread, you bloody jerk...In this case, a POV should would be appropriate...


POV-CRACK IN THE CHEST

A pair of boots approaching.

FR

[MrJayVee]

The use of POV is unnecessary. It’s not only overcomplicating things, it’s cluttering up the page. You don’t really need to signify every shot. Just give us the basics (we’re in a storage room and we’re in a wooden chest) and simply lay out what happens. The reader will get it. You can do it something like this:

INT. STORAGE ROOM – NIGHT

Leon hears footsteps fast approaching. He quickly ducks into an antique wooden storage chest. The guards storm in. The Captain scans the empty room.

CAPTAIN: Find him!

The guards fan out, searching high and low, tearing the place apart.

ANTIQUE CHEST (or you could do INT. ANTIQUE CHEST - NIGHT)

Leon is stuffed into this cramped space, tight as a ball and barely able to move his head. But he's able to peer through a crack in the gnarled wood, seeing...

A guard, violently ripping things to pieces...then suddenly stops. He slowly turns and faces the wooden chest. He doesn’t know it, but he’s looking right at Leon.

Leon smothers a gasp.

The guard starts toward the wooden chest.

Sh*t, the jig is up. Leon, sweating bullets, closes his eyes in anticipation...

[FinbarReilly]

In this case, the POV is justified because it helps up the ante (creating suspense by limiting the reader's perspective), and it simpliflies the writing (always a good thing).

I'm also looking at changing to POV would eliminate about half your typing, and eliminate asides, both of which are good things....

FR

[ricetalks]

Use P.O.V.

INT. ANTIQUE CHEST - NIGHT is not a location. The chest is in the warehouse or storage room or where it happens to be. Remember, the scene heading is the location.

[MrJayVee]

Sure, you can actually write POV, just do it in a simple manner (see below). Also, if we're inside the wooden chest, then it's a location. I'm not saying you have to write INT. ANTIQUE CHEST - DAY, but you certainly have to designate it in some way, such as:

ANTIQUE CHEST

Leon is stuffed into this cramped space, tight as a ball and barely able to move his head. But he's able to peer through a crack in the gnarled wood, seeing...

POV: A guard, violently ripping things to pieces...then suddenly stops. He slowly turns and faces the wooden chest. He doesn’t know it, but he’s looking right at Leon.

Leon smothers a gasp.

POV: The guard starts toward the wooden chest.

Sh*t, the jig is up. Leon, sweating bullets, closes his eyes in anticipation...

[LIVIN]

If you all were my competition and I was trying to give you bad advice, I'd say use POV.

Oh, wait...

[dpaterso]

Each to their own, I strongly suspect we're all saying much the same thing.

INSIDE THE CHEST

Total blackness. The only sound is Billy's harsh breathing.

A sliver of light shines in through a hole.

SEEN THROUGH THE HOLE

The Bad Guy looks around the room.

-Derek

[MrJayVee]

Yup, whatever works. Just as long at it works.

[maestrowork]

I agree... the location is the room. And then you specify the POV as inside the chest...