AW Entry List for Nathan Bransford Contest

[C.bronco]

Okey dokey, kids! I'll clear my message box if you want to pm me, or rep me with your entry title, the name you entered with and your entry number. I will compile the list in this post for those who have given me their info.

I'll start:

C.bronco: Cynthia Bronco, Capon Frank, #272.
timestamp: January 29, 2008 10:03 AM

[Devil Ledbetter]

Grace
Dog Loyal, I believe the entry number is 246.
My time stamp is January 29, 2008 8:43 AM

[Stew21]

Stew - no title given
Time stamp is January 29, 12:40 PM

[KTC]

Kevin - Sebastian's Poet
Timestamp - January 29, 2008 9:05 AM
I don't know the post count?

[otterman]

Eon's Door - by otterman

January 29, 1:35 pm

[wyntermoon]

Posted as: Stacey
Title: Beyond the Pale - #384
Timestamp: January 29, 2008 6:13 PM

[Esopha]

Sophie W, Soul Threshsers, January 29, 2008 11:13 AM

Something like entry 308...ish.

[Shadow_Ferret]

Ed Wyrd
Road to Rune--Urban Fantasy
January 29, 2008 9:25 AM

ETA: Didn't know there was a way to link (http://nathanbransford.blogspot.com/2008/01/surprisingly-essential-first-page.html#c8955268617791275723) to it.

[CaroGirl]

CaroGirl: Voiceless, January 30, 7:44 AM.

I don't know my number.

[IdiotsRUs]

Untitled, by Kissmequick

erm...about 6.59am on the 30th

and I want to take it down now.

[OddButInteresting]

OddButInteresting: Ben Scott (as 'oddbutinteresting'), Doctor K. Armah's Surgery for Cases Most Curious, #563.
timestamp: January 30, 2008 12:55 PM

Let's see if the spaghetti sticks, eh?

[NeuroFizz]

Posted as Richard: January 29, 8:31 AM
No title.

[nerds]

nerds
"untitled"
January 29, 12:04 pm

[dmytryp]

Dimitry Papkov
The Gathering Clouds
January 28, 2008 1:36 PM
Entry # 65 according to JJ (the comment is somewhere around 70)

[Duncan J Macdonald]

Duncan, Diamonds Are For Never, #565
Timestamp 30 Jan 2008, 1:02 PM

[Don Allen]

D.G.Allen "The Debit"
Timestamp 1/29/08 3pm #306 I think...

[maestrowork]

There's only one Ray. The Terrapin's Trail.

[Shady Lane]

hannah, "These Humans All Suck," #80 or therabouts.

[narnia]

Not Yet Titled - Paranormal Thriller

January 29, 2008 11:09 AM

Sorry, couldn't figure out how to determine the number.

[sunna]

Posted as: Amy
Title: Sword
Entry#240, January 29, 2008 8:23 AM

[OddButInteresting]

Oh, bollocks! I posted under a pseudonym and didn't leave my e-mail address.

Bah, I'm sure it'll be fine...

[IdiotsRUs]

Oh, bollocks! I posted under a pseudonym and didn't leave my e-mail address.

Bah, I'm sure it'll be fine...

Nuts, me too!

must get brain in gear....

[Stew21]

He'll announce winners on the blog. Lots of people posted without contact info, my guess is that he will announce and if the winner/finalists don't have contact info, he'll make arrangements.
No sweat.

[IdiotsRUs]

It's wishful thinking on my part anyway, that the e-mail will actually be needed.......

[johnnysannie]

Mine is today 4:33am,
"Strawberry Fields Forever"
Lee Ann Sontheimer Murphy
WIP

[Chumplet]

Mine is untitled, under Chumplet.
Time stamp: January 28, 6:43 p.m.

I forgot to put the title in, but it's from The Weeping Woman, a WIP. I'm trying different starting points to see which one works best.

How the heck did people actually get a post number? It took a half hour to find mine.

[ink wench]

Mine was yesterday at 5:40 a.m. It's untitled.

Waiting to see if I missed any AWs....

[davids]

MINE IS THE PAUL LIGHTWING CRAP POSTED ANONYMOUSILY-JUST DECIDED TO JOIN THE FUN AS THE FIRST PART IS SOMETHING I HAD POSTED IN POST THE FIRST PARA OR SOMETHING OR OPENING LINE OR SOMETHING-IT IS FROM TODAY AND NOT FAR FROM THE BOTTOM AND I JUST WHIPPED IT UP TO JOIN IN-I HAVE NEVER BEEN A JOINER-HELL NOT EVEN A WELDER-BUT THIS PLACE HAS MADE IT AT LEAST MARGINALLY ENJOYABLE TO JOIN-I READ THE STUFF YOU GUYS POSTED-PRETTY STRONG STUFF I SHOULD SAY-WELL DONE TO ALL AND TO ALL A WELL DONE-LOVE DAVE

PS FOUND IT-1/30 9:08 AM

[OverTheHills&FarAway]

Posted by: Jordan
Title: The Incredible Blanco Brothers
January 28, 2008 10:37 PM
Don't know the number

[paprikapink]

Not Yet Titled - Paranormal Thriller

January 29, 2008 11:09 AM

Sorry, couldn't figure out how to determine the number.

This blogger (http://jjdebenedictis.blogspot.com/2008/01/snow-day-perfect-opportunity-for.html) numbered them before she got shut down for critting. She stopped at about 270something. Personally I was grateful for those volunteer critters. But some folks weren't.

[paprikapink]

Mine is here (http://nathanbransford.blogspot.com/2008/01/surprisingly-essential-first-page.html#c4363774628806275615).

[NicoleMD]

I'm under


nicolemd
January 28, 2008 8:37 PM

Here I am!!! (http://nathanbransford.blogspot.com/2008/01/surprisingly-essential-first-page.html#c7476567630540828038)

Nicole

[britlitfantw]

January 29, 2008 3:25 PM
posted as Tori
YA fantasy WIP

[Perks]

Jamie: untitled WIP
January 29 11:28am

[JJ Cooper]

I'm January 29, 2008, 2.24 pm. JJ Cooper.

JJ

[rwam]

Posted By: Dead Man Walking
Title: The Killing Stones (my urban fantasy wip)
Number: I think 390
Timestamp: 01/29 6:49pm

[Haggis]

Haggis, untitled, Jan 30, 2:00 pm

[~grace~]

~grace~
untitled WIP
Jan 28 3:20pm

[blacbird]

Travels in America Deserta
Jan. 29, 3:40 PM

caw

[Kryianna]

Tall, Dark, and Feathered, by Kryianna
January 29, 2008 12:21 PM

I'm with the others--I so want to take it down.

[Sage]

AFTRLYF by Sage
January 28, 2008 5:16 PM
#127

(search for Aftr, not Sage)

[Haphazard]

"Blue Screen Of Death" by Haphazard
January 29, 2008 5:39 PM
#380

[underthecity]

Ghost Machine, 120,000 words

time stamp: January 30, 2008 2:44 PM

(That first chapter is going to get a major rewrite anyway. I have no idea why I posted it. Well, actually, my thought was, "Why the hell not?")

allen

[Madison]

madison, this brief freedom, #17

[Danger Jane]

January 29, 2008 6:19 PM

[Matera the Mad]

Mine is #400+++++, and whenever. No amount of retrying and tweaking would get the page loaded completely, so I had to e-mail my last-minute entry.
A Drum Is Empty

I saw some familiar names passing by while I was trying :D

[ChaosTitan]

kelly m.
"Marionette"

Time stamp: January 29, 2008 8:15 PM

ETA: Apparently entry #385

[L M Ashton]

Basement of the Universe (http://nathanbransford.blogspot.com/2008/01/surprisingly-essential-first-page.html#c2128167910509122283) (science fiction) by L M Ashton.


ETA: I've also posted it on my blog (http://lmashton.com/2008/01/basement_of_the_universe_the_f.html) if anyone wants to read it there and/or comment on it. :)

[megan_d]

Posted under Megan, no title.
Timestamp: January 29, 2008 10:17 PM

[Polenth]

Polenth - Untitled
Permalink: January 29, 2008 12:33 PM (http://nathanbransford.blogspot.com/2008/01/surprisingly-essential-first-page.html#c7599883804889262646)

[Mel]

Shattered World
January 30, 2008 4:47 PM

[Straka]

Untitled
January 30, 2008 11:08 AM

(find "Straka")

[Miguelito]

Symmetry. January 29, 2008 9:34 AM.

Mine: http://nathanbransford.blogspot.com/2008/01/surprisingly-essential-first-page.html#c3506500663055163680

Comments welcome.

[DeadlyAccurate]

Thanks for posting it that way, paprikapink! I didn't know it worked like that.

Here's mine (http://nathanbransford.blogspot.com/2008/01/surprisingly-essential-first-page.html#c3126389238770062600)

Anyone wondering how to post to theirs, go here (http://nathanbransford.blogspot.com/2008/01/surprisingly-essential-first-page.html)and find the timestamp for your comment. It should be a link.

[Pike]

Pike: Frenzy
Coming in on Jan. 30th at 5:31am

[c.e.lawson]

Ack, I did it here. (I forgot how to make those pretty links that say what you want.)

http://nathanbransford.blogspot.com/2008/01/surprisingly-essential-first-page.html#c8664257401068312096

[Nari]

Well, I'm going to have to plead the 5th on this one and throw myself on the mercy of the old adage that it is better to remain silent and be thought the fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

After seeing how convoluted my first page was once it posted, I spent the entire day working on it and am now at peace with the result. This is a good thing. I am more grateful than I can express for this experience, but not enough to reveal the posted entry.

I wish everyone the best of wishes. There were many impressive entries.

[twnkltoz]

Flying Leaps, entry #158, timestamp January 28, 2008 7:41 PM

[WordGypsy]

I'll spare you the timestamp. I'm #2 :)

[BarbaraKE]

Well, after much searching, I finally found mine. I originally posted it Tuesday but it didn't take (I think) so I re-posted it Wednesday. Timestamp is 10:19 AM. Any/all comments are appreciated. Thanks.

[Elladog]

Mine's under Elladog
January 30, 2008 9:51 AM

[Antony B]

Antony B: Nothing Easier - Crime - 85,000 words
timestamp: January 29, 2008 5:03 AM

[kzmiller]

I have dialup (I know, pity me) so I have trouble finding me, especially since I had to have Nathan post my entry for me. It's just titled Fantasy WIP and the first phrase is As a small child I once lost my balance.

Ooo, editing my post here to add: I figured out how to link to mine (finally, after reading around on AW.) Mine is here (http://nathanbransford.blogspot.com/2008/01/surprisingly-essential-first-page.html#c1260644207294326008). I also put my entry on my blog and I'd love to hear any comments folks have.

I'm so glad L M Ashton told me about this place. You guys are great.

Kami

[Alexandra Little]

Under Alexandra:

Shadoweave (YA fantasy)
Time stamp Jan 30, 2008, 12:40 pm

http://nathanbransford.blogspot.com/2008/01/surprisingly-essential-first-page.html#c333311598840837772

[Tasmin21]

Third Strike, posted by Loquacious Me

Time stamp: January 28, 2008 4:03 PM

[paprikapink]

I have dialup (I know, pity me) so I have trouble finding me, especially since I had to have Nathan post my entry for me. It's just titled Fantasy WIP and the first phrase is As a small child I once lost my balance.

Ooo, editing my post here to add: I figured out how to link to mine (finally, after reading around on AW.) Mine is here (http://nathanbransford.blogspot.com/2008/01/surprisingly-essential-first-page.html#c1260644207294326008). I also put my entry on my blog and I'd love to hear any comments folks have.

I'm so glad L M Ashton told me about this place. You guys are great.

Kami

Hey, you're the same Kami who (whom, whatever) Nathan quoted, yeah? I saw your piece on your blog. You're a writer, fer shur! Welcome to the Cooler.

[PastMidnight]

Titled 'Repose', timestamp: January 30, 7:10am

[L M Ashton]

Welcome, Kami!


This is the same Kami who a. critiqued my first 500 words on my blog, offering some excellent insight and b. who's posted to her blog offering to critique other people's first 500 words (http://kzmillers.blogspot.com/2008/01/because-i-cant-leave-well-enough-alone.html). Of course I told her about this place. :) Why wouldn't I? :D

[Mandy]

I'm entry 24, amandakmorgan, ROADIE, and my timestamp is January 28, 11:44 a.m.

[Keyan]

Keyan-Bowes

JOEL THOMSON & THE FROG NETSUKE

Time stamped January 29, 2008 3:49 PM

[paprikapink]

If you get tired of scrolling thru alla them timestamps, and you're anxious to read my entry (#252, "Thistle and Slime"), you can also find it on my blog. Also there, I humbly offer my crit of jjdebenedictis's entry (#141). On her blog (http://jjdebenedictis.blogspot.com/), she's offering crits to all who request them; I think that's been noted in this thread already.

[David Wisehart]

Red Wedding (http://nathanbransford.blogspot.com/2008/01/surprisingly-essential-first-page.html#c9097039290276223924)
by David Wisehart

January 29, 2008 10:45 PM

OxyJen (http://jjdebenedictis.blogspot.com/2008/01/snow-day-perfect-opportunity-for.html) says:

"402. Red Wedding - That's one of the most awesome opening lines I've ever read. Brilliant! The rest of the piece has wonderful imagery and descriptions, too. I'm a little worried about the lack of a conflict or dilemma, but the storm seems to be foreshadowing disaster, and your writing voice is so engaging, that I would definitely read on. I really liked this!"

Chro (http://scribejourney.blogspot.com/2008/01/revenge-of-critiques-9.html) says:

"82. David Wisehart - Red Wedding

Another good example of escalating conflict. Wedding + storm + isolation + chance of power failing = interest and empathy. I also like the little hints of issues yet to come -- like her father not being there. Not my usual taste in novels, but I'd read on."

Needless to say, I'm pleased with the response so far!

[sanssouci]

Monica
Post# 174
January 28, 2008 9:10 PM

[Alexandra Little]

Red Wedding (http://nathanbransford.blogspot.com/2008/01/surprisingly-essential-first-page.html#c9097039290276223924)
by David Wisehart

January 29, 2008 10:45 PM

OxyJen (http://jjdebenedictis.blogspot.com/2008/01/snow-day-perfect-opportunity-for.html) says:

"402. Red Wedding - That's one of the most awesome opening lines I've ever read. Brilliant! The rest of the piece has wonderful imagery and descriptions, too. I'm a little worried about the lack of a conflict or dilemma, but the storm seems to be foreshadowing disaster, and your writing voice is so engaging, that I would definitely read on. I really liked this!"

Chro (http://scribejourney.blogspot.com/2008/01/revenge-of-critiques-9.html) says:

"82. David Wisehart - Red Wedding

Another good example of escalating conflict. Wedding + storm + isolation + chance of power failing = interest and empathy. I also like the little hints of issues yet to come -- like her father not being there. Not my usual taste in novels, but I'd read on."

Needless to say, I'm pleased with the response so far!

I'm still waiting for them to look at mine :(

But congrats for you! If people's links will start working again (my school's internet is...well...bad) then I will definitely be reading it.

[Nakhlasmoke]

Um, yeah. wow, been reading through everyone's stuff.

Some brill work here, I'm impressed.

Mine's here - hob an lam (http://nathanbransford.blogspot.com/2008/01/surprisingly-essential-first-page.html#c5214164381064727831)

[KTC]

Somebody posted another entry. I can't believe it when people don't read the submission guidelines for things. I'm severely anal about them myself. Sometimes, after getting something together and going over it a few times, I still ask my wife if I did everything right. I know that properly submitted work is almost like getting your foot in the door...as there are so many people who don't follow guidelines.

[Appalachian Writer]

Like all the rest, the opening line of RED WEDDING is one of the best I've read. "Drunken uncle," how cool is that?

[Perks]

Yes, it's a terrific intro. Some things aren't really all that subjective, are they? Good is good.

[Pike]

Somebody posted another entry. I can't believe it when people don't read the submission guidelines for things. I'm severely anal about them myself. Sometimes, after getting something together and going over it a few times, I still ask my wife if I did everything right. I know that properly submitted work is almost like getting your foot in the door...as there are so many people who don't follow guidelines.

You'd think that people who want to make a living writing words would bother to read and understand them in the first place. Live and learn.

Pike

BTW - About that retention problem... got them same dilemma here. Attention to details: a writer's gift and curse.

[David Wisehart]

Wow. Thanks for the kind words, everyone.

[dmytryp]

Mine got mixed reviews. JJ liked it, Chro didn't.
*shrug*
I guess, to each his own

[Shady Lane]

Mine got a super-sweet review from both, but both mentioned it took them too long to realize my MC was a guy. My betas told me this before I sent the page in and I didn't listen...you can bet I'm kicking myself now.

And yes, I went back to the original ms and mentioned the MC's beard around the third para. :)

[Tasmin21]

Mine got mixed reviews. JJ liked it, Chro didn't.
*shrug*
I guess, to each his own

Mine got the same results. Just goes to show how subjective this process is.

[The Grump]

I couldn't find my entry again, but it's about Gargoyles.

Actually, I can't even remember which version I submitted, but it probably doesn't have a barb on the hook.

[kzmiller]

Yes, Nathan's mention of my post made me blush. If I knew it was going to get that much attention I would have used better writing skills. That'll learn me!

Thanks for the great egoboo, paprikapink and Laurie! Everyone here really knows how to make a gal feel welcome.

I'm loving this contest. I've met a lot of great people through it and I've learned a ton about openings.

Kami

Jestablog (http://www.kzmillers.blogspot.com)

[Alexandra Little]

well jj (I think) liked mine, but I'm a little wordy in places (and after having looked at my first page after posting it, I realized I need to do a line by line edit) and there's a little bit of...whatchamacallit...well, places that stall the tension. I'm still waiting on Chro's mini review.

This does make me worry about the rest of chapter one, though :(

[Pike]

I got my flogging this morning. Jen reminded me that backstory in an opening clogs the drain. I hate it when someone points out what I should have known. (stupid, stupid, stupid) I need one of those people form the V-8 commercials to smack my forehead.

Pike

[underthecity]

I got a nice critique from Jen. Although it's well-written, she says I need to establish greater conflict early on, versus the weak conflict I show now.

It's number 569 at http://jjdebenedictis.blogspot.com/ (Oyyjen)

That was the feedback I needed!

allen

[Alexandra Little]

I got my flogging this morning. Jen reminded me that backstory in an opening clogs the drain. I hate it when someone points out what I should have known. (stupid, stupid, stupid) I need one of those people form the V-8 commercials to smack my forehead.

Pike

I also had a little problem with that, giving that I had to explain a character relationship and explained a bit too much (the backstory part is partly combined with the longer sentences I need to trim, so if I eliminate one the other will self-correct).

But I am still tingling over jj's comment (number 537) "but I was interested anyway because you establish your tension so well"

*tingles*

I wish Nathan's post would show the numbers on the comments, so that I could easily find other people's. Or maybe it does show numbers, and my internet just hates me ;)

[kzmiller]

It might be a Mac thing or a browser thing. I have a Mac with Safari and I can't see the numbers either. I have to find keywords to get to people's posts. If someone would like a critique from me it's much easier if they email their sub to me or post it on my blog, or if they post it on their blog and then point to their blog.

[Matera the Mad]

Alexandra - I just search the page to find a particular word or name. But I can't tell you how to do that with IE (or any Mac browser).

"drunken uncle" is cool? (Appalachian Writer said...) lol - there's hope for me yet. (obscure reference which I will not explain)

[Alexandra Little]

Alexandra - I just search the page to find a particular word or name. But I can't tell you how to do that with IE (or any Mac browser).


I've tried that too :(

It may be a mac thing, or it could be my internet (which is...weird. To say the least hateful thing about it.)

[Pike]

I haven't seen any numbers except at Jenn's site. I've tried to match up hers with the original, tabing back and forth with my web browser. It gets confusing but works. Also, like to throw out that I liked the "drunken uncle/ in-law" description. I always enjoy seeing how other writer's try to break up the traditional cliches with far more intersesting phrases.

Alexandra - My backstory intrusions weren't overly necessary. I felt they would give more depth to the character. I've removed the bits of text and the scene worked. Go figure. But I'm still plodding along, hoping to get a better grasp on this writing thing.

Pike

[twnkltoz]

jj liked mine, yay! Chro didn't like it as much as he wanted, and I've had a couple of other reviews where either they got what I wanted them to get and they loved it, or they missed it and didn't care for it. I need to make it clearer what I want them to experience.

eta: Oops, it wasn't Chro who didn't like it, it was Jordyn. Chro got it and I think liked it, although he didn't come out and say it.

[dmytryp]

I've tried that too :(

It may be a mac thing, or it could be my internet (which is...weird. To say the least hateful thing about it.)

Collapse the comments
Ctrl F and search for the name you want.

P.S. No numbers are showing. People just found them either from JJ's site or by seeing the number of comments in the thread when they posted.

[Alexandra Little]

Chro didn't like mine, and my high just crashed :(

[paprikapink]

I've skimmed Chro's critiques and he's pretty danged blunt. I'm waiting -- cringing -- till he gets to mine. JJ and Kami both were polite about mine, but had the same recommendations: don't yabber on so (to paraphrase).

So yeah, I'm bracing myself for Chro's review, and bearing in mind that, as he says himself, his observations are very subjective and he likes what he likes and don't like what he don't like. Something can still be good, even if reader x, y, or z don't like it. Ya still got a thru w.... And I think he's good at saying what he doesn't like about a piece, which can be very helpful.

[jenstrikesagain]

Hi all,
Mine is called Jenz Surprisingly Essential and Seriously Awesome First Page, from Untitled work in progress, appx 56,000 words, 2007-2008 and is time stamped 11:17 a.m. on January 29, 2008. No clue what number I am but if memory serves, it was in the low 200s. Comments welcome, private mail me or whatever.

Oh geez, I put my real name on there. Great, I've blown my cover. (sigh) Going to pack and call the Witness Protection Program again...

[megan_d]

JJ hated mine. I used a simile that did not fly with her and she stopped reading. She said I was trying to be clever and I guess that's because, well, I was trying to be clever, lol. This was the first page of a short I had lying around, so her harsh words didn't hurt. Much.

[girlyswot]

Mine's here. (http://nathanbransford.blogspot.com/2008/01/surprisingly-essential-first-page.html#c6769877036778577981)

Chro wasn't too mean about it (by which I mean, he read it all the way through!), though he did want a bit more motivation. I had a really nice review from Amy (http://rosecoloredinsanity.blogspot.com/), too.

[IdiotsRUs]

Excuse me for being dense ( hey it's sunday errr afternoon, and my head is fuzzy) but where are you guys getting these crits from? ( Chro that is, JJ did mine :) a nice one with provisos, and I shall take note...)

[underthecity]

There are three blogs listed here: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=2012495&postcount=160

You can request a critique on the blog responses. One of them might be closed to critiques. Jen's, I think.

My crit was a big help. I re-worked some of the first chapter and made it more clear as to what the "danger" was. It reads better now.

allen

[girlyswot]

You could also try http://rosecoloredinsanity.blogspot.com/

[IdiotsRUs]

Cheers guys. Head is now clear and ready for info. :)

[kzmiller]

You can also try my blog (link in my signature.) I have some that people have posted into comments for both of the blog entries relating to Nathan's contest. You can also email me or PM me here if you're more comfortable with that.

I got great critiques from lots of people, some on their blogs and some came over to my blog to comment. If you'd like to critique mine it's on my blog too.

Weirdly, my 'number' was 111 or something like that on one and 330 on another. I'd tried unsuccessfully (or so I thought) to post my entry before I contacted Nathan. I wonder if it ended up there twice? Oh the shame if that happened.