Convention Etiquette

[Andrhia]

I've heard a number of people say that one of the best ways to forge a relationship with agents and editors is to strike up a friendly, non-sales-pitchy conversation at a convention. So, uh, how do you DO that?

There's an SF/F convention in my neck of the woods in a couple of months, and I'm going partly for the fun of it, partly for professional reasons unrelated to my novel, and partly because I kind of hope to meet some agents or editors there. (And if you're listening, Uncle Jim, you're on the list as a confirmed guest, and if you have time I'd love to buy you a gibson. I owe you one.)

I know you don't go in waving around a manuscript. And I'm pretty sure you don't go around peering at peoples' badges asking "And are YOU an agent?" And I know if you do find anyone in the biz, you need to act like an actual human being and not some single-purposed manuscript-selling automaton. But how do you know if somebody is an agent or not? How do you arrange to meet the people you're looking for? Especially how do you do this without being creepy?

Am I overthinking this?! Ack! Help me!

[bluemoonscribe]

Well, I'd just act natural, sort of forget you're there to meert agents and be yourself. You'll meet people along the way and surely at some point someone will ask you why you're there and give you a segway into talking about your book.

Also, don't follow people into the bathroom to spark up conversations. ;)

[Andrhia]

So do you just... go around striking up conversations with random people?

My previous convention experience all revolves around working booths at trade shows, so the people I wanted to talk to always came and found ME. :)

[L M Ashton]

Oh, yeah, definitely don't do the bathroom thing. That's just so squicky.

I, of course, speak from experience. Not from a writing convention, but from a woman who approached me in the bathroom at church. She insisted on talking to me about me hiring her while I was heading into a stall. Seriously, not a good idea at all.

Ick.

[Smiling Ted]

I've heard a number of people say that one of the best ways to forge a relationship with agents and editors is to strike up a friendly, non-sales-pitchy conversation at a convention. So, uh, how do you DO that?

There's an SF/F convention in my neck of the woods in a couple of months, and I'm going partly for the fun of it, partly for professional reasons unrelated to my novel, and partly because I kind of hope to meet some agents or editors there. (And if you're listening, Uncle Jim, you're on the list as a confirmed guest, and if you have time I'd love to buy you a gibson. I owe you one.)

I know you don't go in waving around a manuscript. And I'm pretty sure you don't go around peering at peoples' badges asking "And are YOU an agent?" And I know if you do find anyone in the biz, you need to act like an actual human being and not some single-purposed manuscript-selling automaton. But how do you know if somebody is an agent or not? How do you arrange to meet the people you're looking for? Especially how do you do this without being creepy?

Am I overthinking this?! Ack! Help me!

Check out this helpful post (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1943488&postcount=22) from Dawno.

[Ravenlocks]

I haven't attended a convention yet, but my experience at film festivals, award ceremonies, etc., is that it's pretty hard to avoid meeting people. I'm reserved in a crowd, and even I meet people. The main thing, IMO, is to approach them as potential friends, not people who can help your career, even if they could. If you're not genuinely interested in them as people, only in what they can do for you, they'll sense that and back off (not saying that's you, just in general). I wouldn't go in expecting anything but to make some friends. If something more comes out of it, that's awesome, but it's not a given.

[DeleyanLee]

There's lots of opportunities to strike up conversation at a convention, as long as you have a modicum of social skills.

Go to panels you're interested in and sit close enough to others for conversation. Ask reasonable and intelligent questions if the floor is open to them. I've gotten into long discussions with editors after a panel is over because I had further questions on a topic that there was no time for or, once, an editor came over to thank me for keeping the conversation interesting with what I had to say. Talk to other audience members about the topic.

The same with book readings--sometimes authors will open discussions afterwards, so talk. I ended up being part of a group invited back to an author's hotel room to beta-read his unfinished manuscript at the time. Insightful comments and good conversation can lead many interesting places.

When looking for somewhere to sit in a common area, don't pick an empty table. Listen a bit to some of the conversations going on and see if there's one to perk your interest and then ask if you can sit down and join in. Same with parties--parties are a great place to meet, have breif conversations and "try people out". I've heard of some long term friendships and even marriages that have sparked from party or con suite discussions.

People go to cons for fun, for business, and to connect with people. You're not alone in that. Just be respectful and enjoy yourself and you'll do fine.

[bluemoonscribe]

So do you just... go around striking up conversations with random people?


Well, I do that as a rule anyway. I have little shame and a lot of gall. ;)

But instead of "targeting" certain agents and locking onto them like a literary torpedo, I think I would just sort of network as I met people. It would seem much more natural and less mercenary, I guess, would be the word, I'm looking for.

I read an article where an agent talked about a convention about checking over her shoulder every time she went to the bathroom, her room, the bar, etc., because every where she went, people were "locked on" to her and waving manuscripts her way. Even the hotel staff. She felt sort of hunted. (Can't remember where I read this. Sorry.) That's where this advice is coming from. I don't want you to feel like I'm making fun or anything.

[Joe Moore]

Here's an excellent post over at BookEnds (http://bookendslitagency.blogspot.com/2006/07/dos-and-donts-of-conference-etiquette.html)on the Dos and Don'ts of Conference Etiquette.

[James D. Macdonald]

(And if you're listening, Uncle Jim, you're on the list as a confirmed guest, and if you have time I'd love to buy you a gibson. I owe you one.)

"Say, can I buy you a drink?" is aways appropriate.

Waving around a manuscript isn't.

Gaudy business cards are ... gaudy.

(Yes, I do have business cards. They're plain black-on-white, and have my name, address, phone number and email address on 'em. When I give one to some it's in response to the question "Can I have your card?" I jot the subject of the conversation on the back. That's how other people do it too. The ones who aren't treating business cards as mini-ads for their book and leafleting the place with 'em. The ones who are doing business.)

See also this post: http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/005451.html

[RickN]

But how do you know if somebody is an agent or not?

The conferences I've been too have had different name tags for different groups. For example, the Harriette Austin Writers Conference attaches a variety of colored ribbons to mark agents, presenting authors, editors to namebadges. So, if you watched for green ribbons, you'd eventually see the agent you were looking for.

You won't have any trouble segueing to your book. The standard greeting I got was "Hi, Rick. What are you working on?" And I was happy to tell them. :-)

Have fun at the conference.

[Susan Gable]

A friend of mine got a request from an agent by striking up a random conversation with someone she didn't know.

She didn't know the woman was an agent. She just started talking about how this was her first conference, and telling the woman about her cat, and showing pictures of her cat (i'm not kidding) and just being genuinely friendly and warm.

Lo and behold, she was chatting with an agent, who liked her sense of humor, and asked her to submit something to her.

So, just TALK to people. They won't bite. :) Usually. Although, that IS a SF/F conference you're talking about. <G> (KIDDING!)

Susan G.

[Straka]

Ask reasonable and intelligent questions if the floor is open to them.

Yes I would warn just be careful in the phrasing of your question.

A well-known Art Critic from the New Yorker came to my college one year. He referenced John Keegan as a great writer of our generation and also spoke about perspective in art.

After the discussion my question didn't get in so I talked to him afterwards. I asked him something that went along like this, John Keegan in his Face of Battle admits that though he teaches warfare, he has never been in a war himself and therefore he doesn't really know anything of war. How does being an art critic give you different perspective than an artist on the work?

It was something like that. I thought it was an intelligent question and I wasn't trying question his credentials.

He replied annoyed by puffing on his cigarette, "I've done enough painting to know what a mediocre painting looks like."

I realized he was offended and thanked him for his time and bowed out. My professors all agreed it was an excellent question (perhaps it was their artist vs. art critic issues) but still it wasn't the reaction I was hoping for.

Anyway I say maybe keep it light conversation at first, or whatever your gut tells you.

[C.bronco]

...ask for the best place to shop for red stilettos??

[James D. Macdonald]

Remember the Three-Two-One rule: Three hours' sleep, two meals, one shower, every day.

Also (a general rule for living): If you aren't dressed like the people you see around you, consider that you may be in the wrong place.

Once, long ago, a new writer called me on the phone to ask what he should wear at his first convention. I made up this rule on the spur of the moment, but I think it's valid (at least for SF conventions): If you're a reader, wear jeans and a tee-shirt with a funny slogan. If you're a writer, wear jeans and a tee-shirt with a funny slogan, and a sports coat. If you're an editor, wear black jeans, a polo shirt, and a suit coat. If you're an agent, wear slacks and a polo shirt. If you're a publisher, wear a suit.

This leaves aside the question of costumes. If you're a costumer this isn't your first convention and you already know what to wear.

[Andrhia]

I've seen some of this convention advice before, but a lot of it revolves around flinging yourself completely into the convention scene, and how to stay sane in those circumstances.

My case is complicated by the fact that I can't be a full-throttle convention goer. I've got two small children with early bedtimes and extremely limited tolerance for schedule disruptions. At best I'll get a few hours both weekend days, and very likely nothing in the evenings.

Sigh. There's always another year for cons, and they're only babies a short while. But I'm serious about trying to go for at least... a LITTLE while... even if it isn't as great as full participation.

[Susan Gable]

Remember the Three-Two-One rule: Three hours' sleep, two meals, one shower, every day.

.

Three hours' sleep? Dude, nobody wants me running around on just three hours sleep. It would NOT be good. <G>

I need at least twice that. Otherwise I morph into something that looks and shrieks like something costumed at a SF convention. <G>

Susan G.

[James D. Macdonald]

If you only have a limited time--come. Be comfortable. Pick a couple of program items you want to see. See them. Then go home.

If, BTW, you're talking about I-con (http://www.iconsf.org/guest.php), I believe I'm scheduled to do a weekend writing workshop there. I'd love to see some folks from AW participating.

[Andrhia]

Uncle Jim: It is, indeed, I-Con. :) I thought about submitting something for the workshop, but I don't have a short story to hand, and I don't want to break stride on revising my novel to knock one out. Though I do have an idea to be written soon, the deadline is soon, too. I don't suppose novel chapters are OK? :)

And: I keep trying to work out what the female author equivalent of a sport jacket is.

Susan: Oh, man, you and me both on the three hours of sleep. Three hours a night turns me into a sort of shambling horror mumbling incoherent words, whose ire is raised easily by any slight, real or imagined. I know this due to recent significant personal experience. (Did I mention I have small children?)

Straka: That experience sounds painful. It's an awful feeling to have offended somebody and not know how you did it.

And: thank you everybody for responding in this thread. You're all awesome.

[James D. Macdonald]

Yo, Straka -- are you perhaps related to a fellow who taught English in New Jersey? (Straka isn't a common name, y'see.)

The three hours of sleep is a minimum. No one should attempt less.

[Gillhoughly]

I've done hundreds of S.F. conventions as both fan and guest. Siddown and relax, you're in good hands.


I kind of hope to meet some agents or editors there.

There will be a list and short bio on each guest on the con's website. Most guests will be writers. I've been to only a handful with editors on board and fewer still with agents on board.

You can't go to just any convention and hope an agent or editor will be wandering around. I hope to meet Sean Connery walking down my street, but it's more likely to happen if I visit Scotland.

I know you don't go in waving around a manuscript.

Do you have a manuscript finished and ready to send out?

If so, then send it out and spare the con guests.

If not, your cart and horse are in the wrong order. Just take notes from other writers and enjoy the con. There's no point looking for an agent if you've not got something ready for her.

I know a lot of people set a great store in "making contacts" at conventions, and it has been known to work. But too many of them believe that the only way to get into publishing is "who you know." That has worked, but being a good writer works even better.

IF--by some miracle--there is an agent at the con, you can do this:

"I'm an aspiring writer in the ___ genre. If you're accepting queries I was hoping you might have a business card with your web address."

If they say no, then you thank them and split.

If they give you a card, you thank them and split. You can do this at the autograph line, or in those short change-over minutes after a panel talk. Stay away from them in the washroom and dining areas.

Don't tell any guest writer that you've got a book, then relate the story. They'd much rather be in the bar. Soon as I spot a neo anxious to share his literary genius with me I bolt! I will give encouragement and recommend AW and Writer Beware to a neo, but the last thing I want to do is hear about his book. I have my own books to worry about.

And I'm pretty sure you don't go around peering at peoples' badges asking "And are YOU an agent?"

As stated, unless it's a WorldCon or something of a similar level, you won't find agents attending. My agent gets to the World S-F con, the World Horror Con, and World Fantasy Con--usually to meet with her clients.

Peering at badges is hard to do, and if you're a guy and the badge is on a girl, you could get a black eye, depending on where she pinned it.

Badges often have tiny printing--which annoys me as I've got bad eyes. Sometimes they have ribbons or color coding to indicate who's a guest and who is an attendee. Read the program book and go to panel talks.

But how do you know if somebody is an agent or not?

Read the guest roster on the website.

Read the program book.

If there are no agents listed, then just kick back and enjoy the con for its own sake. Listen to the other writers at their panel talks. There's usually at least one talk on publishing 101. You can learn a lot there.

How do you arrange to meet the people you're looking for? Especially how do you do this without being creepy?

You usually sign up for such an event, and I don't mean buying a ticket to sit at the same banquet table. Some conventions will host a "meet the guests" party, but those are social events, not business events. They are to honor the guest and give them a chance to relax. The guests are not officially working.

Unless the editor, agent, or publisher has a set time to listen to pitches--not likely at a S.F con--you attend their panel talks and autograph sessions. You don't have to buy a book, just have them sign your program book. They are there to promote themselves or their publishing house, though. They are not there to hear about your own hopes for a career. Some are more friendly than I am, so you might have a nice chat. Or not.

The only cons that I know of where agents listen to pitches have been romance conventions--which cost several times more than any S.F. con! For those, you'd better have 3-4 pitches ready.

Am I overthinking this?!

YES. If this is your first con, RELAX. Get your feet wet first.

I've done some other posts here on conventions. Read. Learn.

Here's one. (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1319849#post1319849)

Bad guest Syndrome. (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1045920#post1045920)

Main rule: Relax, enjoy, listen, be polite.

Have fun!

[Dragon-lady]

And: I keep trying to work out what the female author equivalent of a sport jacket is.


I wondered that too but was embarrassed to ask. :D

Edit: By the way, I'm pretty inexperienced at conventions and conferences. Come to think of it, is there a difference other than the name? I have attended the large Willamette Writers Conference in Portland, OR which always has editors and agents who schedule pitches. I'm debating attending this year. They don't have any agents I want to pitch. On the other hand, it's always fun to meet and talk to people but a convention can be an expensive place to do it. :)

[Straka]

Yo, Straka -- are you perhaps related to a fellow who taught English in New Jersey? (Straka isn't a common name, y'see.)

Its possible I suppose. I believe my mother found some down there (a majority of my family's Straka line is in PA). If you have a name I can look into it. The Strakas of my family were immigrants that came over before the Civil War, 1820s I believe. The other side of the family is the Walthers that came over as a German mercenary during the Revolutionary War.

If you're a writer, wear jeans and a tee-shirt with a funny slogan, and a sports coat.

That's good advice. I dig it.

[IceCreamEmpress]

And: I keep trying to work out what the female author equivalent of a sport jacket is.

A blazer, jacket, duster or nice cardigan sweater.

I'm not one for the "t-shirt with writing on it" myself, but think of the attendee dress code as "what you'd wear for an afternoon shopping at a boutique or a pleasant mall", the presenter dress code as "what you'd wear for a 'business casual' workday", the editor and agent dress code as "what you'd wear for a regular workday", and the publisher dress code as "what you'd wear for a work presentation" and you'll be fine.

[BenPanced]

I've heard a number of people say that one of the best ways to forge a relationship with agents and editors is to strike up a friendly, non-sales-pitchy conversation at a convention. So, uh, how do you DO that?

There's an SF/F convention in my neck of the woods in a couple of months, and I'm going partly for the fun of it, partly for professional reasons unrelated to my novel, and partly because I kind of hope to meet some agents or editors there. (And if you're listening, Uncle Jim, you're on the list as a confirmed guest, and if you have time I'd love to buy you a gibson. I owe you one.)

I know you don't go in waving around a manuscript. And I'm pretty sure you don't go around peering at peoples' badges asking "And are YOU an agent?" And I know if you do find anyone in the biz, you need to act like an actual human being and not some single-purposed manuscript-selling automaton. But how do you know if somebody is an agent or not? How do you arrange to meet the people you're looking for? Especially how do you do this without being creepy?

Am I overthinking this?! Ack! Help me!
Many cons will have short bios of the panel members in the program book, usually in the back.

[Smiling Ted]

If anyone's interested-

Wikipedia has a list (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_science_fiction_conventions) of F/SF conventions, sortable by date, geography, etc.

[gp101]

I'm attending the Sleuthfest Con at the end of the month--nice that it's in Florida, considering I'm freezing in N.E. There will be agents and editors there. I have signed up for a ten-minute session with an agent. There is also a cocktail party Saturady night where the con presenters/speakers will be getting smashed.

I have my ten-minute session already paid for so I won't be attacking peeps at the cocktail hour. I will be looking to meet people, share some laughs, hope my extroverted buzzed self maybe connects with someone who can help me. But I ain't holding my breath. The panels and my ten-minute session are good enough. Still, the party could be interesting.

And I have my backup plan. My (female) friend who lives in FL is meeting me for the cocktail party and I've impressed upon her that she needs to sleep with some editor or agent in order to help me. She hasn't agreed yet, but I'm still working on her.