Prizes!

[JennaGlatzer]

Here you go... the goodies!

The GRAND PRIZE WINNER will receive:




A 1-year subscription to the Absolute Markets Premium Edition (http://www.absolutemarkets.com (http://www.absolutemarkets.com/))
Value: $15. A biweekly newsletter filled with about 50 pages of paying markets.

A 1-year subscription to the Poetry Contest Insider, courtesy of our friends at WinningWriters.com (http://www.winningwriters.com/pci.htm)
Value: $19.95. Their online database profiles over 650 poetry contests.

A 1-year subscription to WritersMarket.com, courtesy of our friends at Writer's Digest Books (http://www.writersmarket.com (http://www.writersmarket.com/))
Value: $29.99. Thousands of searchable markets for all kinds of writing, plus a query tracker, industry updates, and more.

1-year web hosting, domain name registration, and web design for the winner's web page(s), courtesy of our friends at Lenox Avenue (www.lenoxavemag.com (http://www.lenoxavemag.com/)), a semi-pro paying speculative fiction ezine.
Value: about $150. Nice, huh? For full details, see this (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=127102&postcount=36) post.

A copy of Make a Real Living as a Freelance Writer or Outwitting Writer's Block by Jenna Glatzer or Fear is No Longer My Reality by Jamie Blyth with Jenna Glatzer (http://www.jennaglatzer.com (http://www.jennaglatzer.com/)) -- your choice
Value: $14.95, $19.95, or 21.95, depending on which one you choose.


A copy of either the Hollywood Representation Directory, Secrets of the Screen Trade: From Concept to Sale by Allen B. Ury, or Ask the Pros: Screenwriting (101 Questions Answered by Industry Professionals), Edited by Howard Meibach and Paul Duran, courtesy of our friends at the Hollywood Creative Directory/Lone Eagle Publishing (http://www.hcdonline.com) -- your choice
Value: Up to $64.95. The Hollywood Representation Directory is a guide to Hollywood talent and literary agents and managers, now in its 28th edition.

The SECOND- and THIRD-PLACE WINNERS will receive 1-year subscriptions to the Absolute Markets Premium Edition, too!


Industry exposure: Jenna will send out a press release to all the agents and editors she knows, and on PRWeb, to invite them to come check out the winners.
Value: Priceless.

[DaveKuzminski]

Well, shoot, that's going to knock the heck out of my current tax bracket when I win. ;)

[JennaGlatzer]

Wisebutt!

[CACTUSWENDY]

..............:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: ............

[edfrzr]

Can we forego all those wonderful prizes and opt for a night on the town with the very famous, very wealthy, very HOT Jenna. (that is if my wife will let me)

[JennaGlatzer]

Ed: If you're willing to come here from N. Carolina, we can certainly make it a double-date. :)

[DaveKuzminski]

I'm not sharing you on a date with Ed. He might want a good-night kiss from me and you know where that can lead... Hmmm, to more story ideas. ;)

[JennaGlatzer]

:ROFL:

[Betty W01]

How about someone who comes in second or third and already has a premium subscription because she (or he) is - oh, I don't know, a staff writer, say. Could there be an alternate prize for her - or him?

[katiemac]

Betty: :roll:


Jenna: You're starting to suck me in. You're doing such a wonderful job with this entire thing! Absolutewrite newsletter? Writer's Market?! My poor college student's bank account is watering at the mouth.

[JennaGlatzer]

Betty, indeed there could. We can work that out when we get there. :)

Katie, y'ain't seen nothin' yet!

I might add that the lovely Katie Brogan, editor of the Writer's Market, is, like, moments away from giving birth to her first baby, yet found the time to e-mail me this morning to offer the subscription to our winner. How cool is she?

[edfrzr]

Hey Dave, am I to understand you swing both ways--men and boys? Just kidding all. I hope I haven't offended anyone at Dave's expense. In fact, some of my best friends are named Dave.

Jenna, I'm certain that an evening with the four of us would be very educational. I might even larn how tu git mah boook in pint. Hey, you know a good agent?

[DaveKuzminski]

How about Agent Orange? ;)

[edfrzr]

curt, precise, cutting, insuting and to the point---I like that Dave!

[didi768]

Betty: :roll:


Jenna: You're starting to suck me in. You're doing such a wonderful job with this entire thing! Absolutewrite newsletter? Writer's Market?! My poor college student's bank account is watering at the mouth.
Prizes for what? I'm a confused newbie here with a giant headache. OUCH. Is there a contest then?

[firehorse]

Jenna:

(Or have I posted enough that I can now use a comma? ;))

These are amazing prizes. The one that really gets me motivated is the industry exposure - WOW! That's absolutely priceless, and very generous of you, too. [Is it parallel to use priceless and generous, given that generous implies a price?] ["absolutely" priceless doesn't make sense either; priceless is priceless] [I'm typing to myself and really need more coffee and fewer adverbs] :Coffee: :Coffee: :Coffee:

Because I already subscribe to WM and AW-P, and I have the Freelancer book, I was mostly looking forward to - should I be selected - the weekly challenges. Now I'm in it to win! :Jump:

And now I'm, uh, nervous.

-Sarah

[zeprosnepsid]

Cool Prizes?!

I should have posted a better writing sample....

[jdkiggins]

Prizes for what? I'm a confused newbie here with a giant headache. OUCH. Is there a contest then?

:roll: :Hug2: You are joking, right?

Joanne

[mommie4a]

Industry exposure: Jenna will send out a press release to all the agents and editors she knows, and on PRWeb, to invite them to come check out the winners.
Value: Priceless.

I love that plural "winners" at the end - raised my eyebrows and made me think, hmmm - multiple grand prize winners? Nawww? But maybe an offer for more than just the grand prize winner...way generous, Jenna - that's just gotta be something you're born with!

[Kevin Yarbrough]

Jenna, I would be proud to offer my company for a night to the winner (female only, sorry Dave). They will have to come to my town and I will then show them the ropes. We can go cow tipping, cow pie flipping, and cow chasing. I will show them how to do all of this and also show them how to evade the bulls. We then can go spotlight deer hunting and I will show them how to do a quick feild dress. When all of this fun is done we can go back to my place for a nice tall glass of Bud, Bud Light, or better yet, Pabst Blue Ribbon. I will then show them how to chew tobaccy and spit in a can. I will bring out my old movies and make some popcorn.

How fun would this be?

What would make it even more fun is that I don't know how to do any of these, except make popcorn and drink beer.

[DaveKuzminski]

Kevin, that's not what I heard from those bulls. They bragged about how easy you are. ;)

[paprikapink]

How fun would this be?



Wow. Kevin. That's quite an offer! Quite an offer indeed! Gee, if I weren't married, and far far away from Illinois, and old enough to be your big sister, well, I'd wish I were.

:LilLove:

-pkpk

[DaveKuzminski]

Wow. Kevin. That's quite an offer! Quite an offer indeed! Gee, if I weren't married, and far far away from Illinois, and old enough to be your big sister, well, I'd wish I were.

:LilLove:

-pkpk

ROFLMAO...OMGIFO!

[paprikapink]

I might add that the lovely Katie Brogan, editor of the Writer's Market, is, like, moments away from giving birth to her first baby, yet found the time to e-mail me this morning to offer the subscription to our winner. How cool is she?

Kismet! (Kismet Kate?) I just happened to have right at the moment that I read this post from Jenna, my brand spankin' new copy of Writer's Market on my lap, while I wait for screens to load on my slow little Infernal Device, and I'm looking at Katie Brogan's photo, reading her "from the editor" about the stories her dad told her -- and now she's about to have a baby. Ahhh. And I was just pondering, do I sign up already at last for the online service, or wait till next month, since I just spent $30 on the book, and now I know I wait till I see if I may be a weiner. It's gotta mean something when you ask yourself a question and RIGHT THEN you get an answer from the internet. Something has gotta be meant by that. (Where's Richard? I think he interprets these things best.) ;)

-pkpk

[edfrzr]

KY--How dare you not include Davey K. Those are just a few of his FAVORITE things. Hang on--I just broke out in song. Okay I'm back. I wondered what was missing from this prize package--then a vision. The removal of back hair--that's it. Not only is it fun for the whole family , but later on we could knit a sweater. Females only need apply.

Also, I find it interesting that your initials are KY...Hmmmmm, you don't by any chance wear a glove do you?

[Kevin Yarbrough]

ROFLMAO...OMGIFO!
Dave, the bulls are just jealous. After all, I'm William Hung like Bull.

PKPK- Old enough to be my big sis huh? Well, to bad your married and live far far away. Could have had some good times, good times.

My offer still stands. And no I'm not trying to get people to vote for my entry. Really, I'm not. Now, where did I put my "Spotlight Deer Hunting for Dummies" book?

[Kevin Yarbrough]

KY--How dare you not include Davey K. Those are just a few of his FAVORITE things. Hang on--I just broke out in song. Okay I'm back. I wondered what was missing from this prize package--then a vision. The removal of back hair--that's it. Not only is it fun for the whole family , but later on we could knit a sweater. Females only need apply.

Also, I find it interesting that your initials are KY...Hmmmmm, you don't by any chance wear a glove do you?
Edfzr, depends on how the date went.

[Birol]

We can go cow tipping, cow pie flipping, and cow chasing.

Throwing cow pies? Where in Illinois are you from? Chatham???

[maestrowork]

Jenna just notified me that the weeners of this contest would get a case of Uncle Ray's famous bug soup (tm). Accept no substitution. Mmm Mmm good.

[JennaGlatzer]

The "industry exposure" part:

I will put out a press release including the names of all the finalists, but the top 3 people will get extra attention (I'll send out their bios and info about available projects).

It'll be personalized for the winner, too-- I'll specifically go after agents/publishers/producers appropriate for the winner's work.

I really am hoping that'll be the best part of the prize, 'cause I'm good at hooking people up.

[ZaZ]

Hookin' up
Bud Light
Cow Pies
Oh my!

[jdkiggins]

Wow, Jenna, that's wonderful! With that and all the Bud Light and
Cow Pies, just watch those auditions fly in. You'll have another #1000 to brag about here soon. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/smile.gif

Joanne

[mommie4a]

Ok - I sound like a broken record, but you're very generous with your time and talent, Jenna. Here's to having that spirit rub off, hopefully enough to make my writing Idol-worthy!

[Hummingbird]

Jenna: Thanks for the contest and everything!

[Fictionalizer]

How about Agent Orange? ;)

:roll:

I love this thread! Thanks! I needed the humor break!

[JennaGlatzer]

But wait! It gets better and better... this just in...

Lenox Avenue e-zine of speculative fiction (www.lenoxavemag.com (http://www.lenoxavemag.com)) is pleased to sponsor the following for the Grand Prize winner of the Absolute Write Idol competition.

1 year free web hosting for author's webpage(s)*

Purchase of 1 year domain name registry within $15. We suggest www.directnic.com (http://www.directnic.com), since they bill yearly. (We can transfer domain name registry as well.) If the winner should choose another host, we will still donate the $15 toward a domain name purchase.

Help designing web page for authors who do not have access to design programs. We will use Dreamweaver. (Please note, while not "professional" web designers, we will do all we can to accomodate your wishes for design, within reason. We have knowledgable web admin on staff.)

Lenox Avenue is a semi-pro paying speculative fiction ezine (5 cents per word to $100 on acceptance). We're brand new since July 2004, but one of our stories (Tim Pratt's "Life in Stone") made it to the 2004 Locus Recommended Reading list, and 2 others are on the current Stoker Ballot.

Best of luck to you all in your writing endeavors, and we look forward to hosting the Grand Prize Winner!

Sincerely,
Lenox Avenue ezine
www.lenoxavemag.com (http://www.lenoxavemag.com)

*At this time, we have one stipulation for the prize. For security reasons, we must ask that you allow our web administrator to upload your website and updates for you. We are looking into alternatives to this, however. Our admin is professional and quick -- we can promise a 24 hour turn-over, if not less. We would not change nor update your site without your permission. Also, there is no need for you to in any way associate yourself with Lenox Avenue, should you so choose.

[edfrzr]

Jenna, Do you ever sleep?

[JennaGlatzer]

No.

[mommie4a]

Ok - no sleep equals BAD PROFESSIONAL PICTURES unless you have an awesome makeup routine! Or, maybe it's just if you're over a certain age and take care of too many kids! But before you get the pro pic taken, can I mommy you and say - get sleep?;)

[BlueTexas]

But wait! It gets better and better... this just in...

Lenox Avenue e-zine of speculative fiction (www.lenoxavemag.com (http://www.lenoxavemag.com/)) is pleased to sponsor the following for the Grand Prize winner of the Absolute Write Idol competition.


Once again, I'm in awe of the great things that happen around here.

[CACTUSWENDY]

:Hug2: ...Thanks again for all your time and effort. When is that vacation you will be needing just any moment now? I just hope some of your engery rubs off towards an old lady out here in Arizona.

[jdkiggins]

I just hope some of your engery rubs off towards an old lady out here in Arizona.

The other old lady lives in PA, send some of that energy this way too, please.

Joanne

[awatkins]

The other old lady lives in PA, send some of that energy this way too, please.

Joanne

And please keep the old lady in Alabama in mind. :D

[JennaGlatzer]

Aw, Jill, thanks for the mommying! :) You are so right about the pics... a good part of the reason I hate all my other pics is that I always have terrible bags under my eyes (not just from lack of sleep... heredity and allergies take their toll).

Seriously. I normally do get a decent amount of sleep (just at weird hours), but not when I'm this close to deadline. My fertility book is due in less than 2 weeks, so I'm in crunch mode! (And spending waaay too much time here taking sanity breaks. ;) )

The fact that I'm usually *awake,* however, does not mean I have boundless energy, sorry to say. I'm not allowed to have caffeine, though, so I have to get myself zooted up with peanut butter and vitamins! Not quite the same effect.

Oh, and I guarantee you "old ladies" could outrun me in a race. Probably outwalk me, too. I never heard the end of it when I went hiking with Anthony on our honeymoon and an 80-year old woman with a walker left me in the dust.

[jdkiggins]

Oh, and I guarantee you "old ladies" could outrun me in a race. Probably outwalk me, too. I never heard the end of it when I went hiking with Anthony on our honeymoon and an 80-year old woman with a walker left me in the dust.

Oh, I don’t know, Jenna. I get breathless just reading all these posts.

Which again leads me to congratulate everyone on entries. :Clap:

Joanne

[firehorse]

I'm not allowed to have caffeine, though, so I have to get myself zooted up with peanut butter and vitamins! Not quite the same effect.
Wait a sec. On top of all this work, and your book, you're pregnant, too? (And if not, I just started a helluva rumor... :gone: )

-Sarah

[jdkiggins]

Nah, really! I thought her new book was pregnant. I'm sure it is pregnant with wonderful information.

Joanne

[JennaGlatzer]

:roll: about the rumor. Nope, I'm not pregnant. I can't have caffeine because of the panic disorder. Sets it right off. But I am co-writing a book about fertility, hence the easy-association.

[jdkiggins]

Jenna, you keep putting those babies in print, and we'll keep reading them.
:Hug2:
Joanne

[astonwest]

I can't have caffeine because of the panic disorder.

I feel very sorry for you, Jenna...if not for caffeine, I'd probably never wake up...

[JennaGlatzer]

:kiss: Joanne. You've got a deal. I do hope the pregnancy rumors will be less than rumors in the not-too-distant future, though! I'm actually planning around my book projects. :Smack: Can't have morning sickness while I'm traveling for interviews, now can I?

[Betty W01]

Very cool work on the prizes, boss!

Hey, guess what? I was reading the Jan '05 Writer's Digest at this writer's conference I was at yesterday and there was a quote from your book Words You Thought You Knew on pg. 18! Did you know that? Congratulations!

Also, one of the presenters (Nancy Christie) said she loves AW, when she heard I was a staffer. And after she said that, several people asked me for written info about AW. Are there AW flyers or business cards available that could be taken to conferences and passed out or set out on literature tables? If not, maybe there should be? Vistaprint.com will do them for free; all you pay is S/H, or for a little more for fancier ones, and they do a really nice job. Think about it. I go to several conferences a year and so do other staffers, mods, and myriad supporters. You could even put your books on the flyers or cards, and get tons of almost free publicity!

And another thing - Robin Hampton, the WD Chronicles judge, was at this conference, too, and she said that she routinely threw away entries that were over 500 words, without any further thought. Sounded familiar...

Last comment: someone at this same conference said his/her office keeps badly-written queries, to be passed around and laughed at and posted on the wall. Made me want to be extra-careful in the future....

[jdkiggins]

I do hope the pregnancy rumors will be less than rumors in the not-too-distant future, though!

That's wonderful, Jenna. Be sure to let us know. I make wonderful crib comforters and matching pillows when I'm taking a break from writing. :) My youngest daughter, now 26, still takes hers with her anytime she travels. You should have seen the looks she got when she went to boot camp with them eight years ago. :roll: And that's no joke.

Joanne

[ccwriter]

[QUOTE=JennaGlatzer]Okay, the prize list has started. Keep watching... we'll be adding to it!

The GRAND PRIZE WINNER will receive:]

Well, heck...I don't see any stuffing in there. The LEAST I should get for winning this contest, considering that I risked LIFE AND LIMB fending off Mel The Lovesick Turkey, would be a flippin' bag of stuffing mix. SHEESH! The only thing I would enjoy better would be a date with the "real" Mel Gibson. *sigh*

Thanks, Jenna, for seeing the humor in my piece. Looks like I have some stiff competition...some VERY nice pieces in here! I feel sorry for you judges...

and yes, the Turkey's still out there...

[CACTUSWENDY]

:D ...PERK!...Baby?...woowoo....(Fingers crossed for you) Then we can do a thread on baby names. That should prove to be interesting. :partyguy:

[astonwest]

I make wonderful crib comforters and matching pillows when I'm taking a break from writing.

My wife crochets a pretty mean Victorian cape...she's trying to finish one for my brother and his wife, who are expecting in the next couple of days.

Myself, I'll stick to writing...

[firehorse]

Can't have morning sickness while I'm traveling for interviews, now can I?
Well, if you get motion sickness, you might as well get them both over with at once ;)

Then we can do a thread on baby names. That should prove to be interesting. :partyguy: [/font][/b] When I was in college, there was a teacher, a poet named Tom Lux - I think he still teaches at Sarah Lawrence. He and his wife were expecting their first child, so one night a bunch of us sat around with various substances :PartySmil and made up a list of names. My favorite was "Electra." "Dee" was also popular, but the most creative, I thought, was "Bagels Anne."

That kid is probably in college now (don't I feel old :rolleyes: ). Wonder what they did name her. Anyone out there from SLC?

[JennaGlatzer]

Very cart-before-horse, but I always hoped that if I had a girl, we'd name her Sienna Marene. No strong ideas for boy names (I like Jordan and Josh, though).

I used to want Amberlynn for a girl... then my dad told me that was a porn star's name. Which is OK, because I decided it was too girly anyway.

But oh, yes, if it ever happens, I'll definitely start a thread for name suggestions. The sci-fi people will have a field day... I'll wind up with something like Thek'ork'gamn.

P.S. I totally do get motion sickness. Blech. Dramamine has become my knight in shining armor!

[Sarita]

Very cart-before-horse, but I always hoped that if I had a girl, we'd name her Sienna Marene.

Jenna, how exciting for you, ya know, in a cart-before-horse kind of way :D Beautiful names. I can't wait for the thread... I have some great ideas. Since I'm not having children, I feel the need to give them away, or name characters after them.

:Clap:

Sara

[Kevin Yarbrough]

Jenna, you can name the boy, or the girl for that matter, after me. I don't care. I'm not doing much with it right now.

[Maryn]

Oh, Jenna, you don't need to wait until you're actually pregnant. Start that list now.

It was with considerable amusement that I came across an index card I'd written when I was in 7th or 8th grade, on what I'd name my children if I ever had any. (I did, but not until my 30s--long gap there, card forgotten.)

I was pleasantly surprised that most of them were not particularly stupid and some even became trendy. Damn, the one time I was cutting-edge, and I missed it!

Neither of our kids' names appears on that card--which I kept.

Maryn (whose real name isn't as cool as 'Maryn')

[JennaGlatzer]

Ooh, I used to do that, too, and I even remember some of the names. Unfortunately, all the names I came up with then WERE stupid. ;) Such as:

Girls:
Katypsi Alli
Carnassion
Zaleri Blu

Boys:
Dax
Jash
Jordache (I'd still love this one if it weren't a brand name)
Anthony has slightly different taste than I do. Like, y'know, Bob and stuff.

[CaitlinK18]

Hey Jenna,

Thanks for all the cool prizes! Now you've got me biting my nails waiting for the finalists to be announced.

[TemlynWriting]

Ooh, I used to do that, too, and I even remember some of the names. Unfortunately, all the names I came up with then WERE stupid. ;) Such as:

Boys:
Dax


I actually knew a guy named Dax, who married a friend of mine. :)

[JennaGlatzer]

Uh-oh. If he's cool, I take back the part about it being a stupid name. ;)

[katiemac]

Haha, the only time I ever tried to come up with great "baby" names was for my characters... took me the longest time to come up with my current MCs, and I ain't letting go for anything!

[Penelope]

Baby names are (to me, at least) kind of like finding Mr. or Mrs. Right. You listen with your heart, not with your ears or anything else, and somehow you just know that's it. :)

[T42]

Jenna, my son and his wife named my grandbaby~ Selah Memory Marie Pinder-Russell so just go with all the names you like:)

[firehorse]

When I was in college, there was a teacher, a poet named Tom Lux - I think he still teaches at Sarah Lawrence. He and his wife were expecting their first child, so one night a bunch of us sat around with various substances :PartySmil and made up a list of names. My favorite was "Electra." "Dee" was also popular, but the most creative, I thought, was "Bagels Anne."

Okay, nobody's responded to this (and therefore, my need for attention has not been sated), so maybe it really was a 'you had to be there' kind of thing, but come on, I think "Bagels Anne Lux" is a pretty creative name... :D

[T42]

Okay, nobody's responded to this (and therefore, my need for attention has not been sated), so maybe it really was a 'you had to be there' kind of thing, but come on, I think "Bagels Anne Lux" is a pretty creative name... :Dfirehorse, I think that you should come over and have some "tea" :Coffee:and "brownies" with me. Forget the Bagels!:Ssh:

[TemlynWriting]

Uh-oh. If he's cool, I take back the part about it being a stupid name. ;)

Jenna - as far as I know, he was pretty cool. Nice guy. It's been a while since I've had any contact with he or his wife, but yeah - they were nice. :) It is an odd name though.

[mommie4a]

Sadly, no matter what name you give a child, you can't know what they might change it to. If any of you are familiar with Richard Krevolin (screenwriter among other things I think - his brother Robbie was in my high school class), his mom's name is Evelyn Krevolin.

[JennaGlatzer]

come on, I think "Bagels Anne Lux" is a pretty creative name...

Duh! I didn't think to put it together with the last name (hence, I didn't understand why Dee was such a popular choice, either).

Creative. And a recipe for childhood torment. I likes it! :D

[mommie4a]

Then there are the Richard Richards, David David, Adam Adams, etc. I worked in a development office for an old, staid, university and there were a lot of "reversible" names that I could never keep straight - David Andrew Michaels. Andrew Michael David. Michael David Andrews. But you know, whatever sounds good to you when you see the little kid, it'll be good!

[jdkiggins]

Then there are the Richard Richards, David David, Adam Adams, etc. I worked in a development office for an old, staid, university and there were a lot of "reversible" names that I could never keep straight - David Andrew Michaels. Andrew Michael David. Michael David Andrews. But you know, whatever sounds good to you when you see the little kid, it'll be good!

Are you suggesting Glatzer Glatzer? Has a pretty cool ring to it. :ROFL:

[Penelope]

Or maybe Glatzer Jenna? ;)

[mommie4a]

Ok - my favorite name of all time - and it's real - Marshmellow Alphabet. That was the name of a mother of a juvenile I counseled in juvie court many years ago.

[Sarita]

My sister-in-law had a kid in her class named Shi-thead. Take out the hyphen and you'll be shocked! Why would you do that to a child??? Oh the humanity!

[awatkins]

Sara, is that how it was pronounced??? Poor kid!

I used to work with someone who had a daughter named Heaven Leigh. That was nice, especially compared to that child's name!

[mommie4a]

OMG, Sari - wooo. Ok - one more from the juvie court files - Uranius. Pah-leeeeeze parents! Put on your thinking caps!

[jdkiggins]

:ROFL:

[jdkiggins]

Poor Jenna. All these wonderful names. What to choose? What to choose?:roll:

[mommie4a]

Ok - before I hole up in the kitchen - my husband loves to tell me that he knew a girl in college named Leah Dick - first name pronounced Lay-uh. AND I had two roommates in grad school who's last names were Gross and Kumm. We had a charming mailbox label. The guy with the last name Kumm changed it after he graduated.

[Sarita]

Sara, is that how it was pronounced???

Sheh theed', unless the teacher missed the hyphen...:Wha:

[ChunkyC]

My sister-in-law had a kid in her class named Shi-thead.
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/Emoterofl5.gif

Saw this name in the phone book once:

Heywood Jablomi.

[Sarita]

:roll:

[maestrowork]

True names:

Andrew Andrews
Richard Head
Dick Bump
Lara Lumlady
Crabbie Appleton

[firehorse]

Ok - my favorite name of all time - and it's real - Marshmellow Alphabet. That was the name of a mother of a juvenile I counseled in juvie court many years ago. Is it any wonder the kid wound up in juvie court? I mean, how else is she (he?) going to rebel against such a Candyland name?

[WVWriterGirl]

I have two aunts whose names are Cricket and Spider.
I went to highschool with a girl whose name is Tawanna Bender (she got "over" added at the end quite a bit)
My name is an amalgamation of "Lynn" and "Ashley" - Linley
I work with a guy whose name is Lucifer

When we named our son, Connor Harrison, we couldn't come up with a suitable middle name. For a while, we had settled on Connor Angus, since my husband is a huge AC/DC and Angus Young fan (I know, I know, it's sad). My boss at work politely and tactfully told me it wouldn't be a good idea, because his little school friends would eventually end up calling him anus. That changed my mind, real fast. The next choice was Connor Auron - we wanted an "A" middle name so we could nickname him Cam, which would have been his initials - C.A.M. No one liked Auron, either - they couldn't figure out how to say it. We were on the way to the hospital, me in labor, when my husband said, "Let's name him after my grandfather. I always wanted that." Hence, middle name Harrison.

WVWG

[sgtsdaughter]

i had a doctor once, and no joking here, his name was richard dick. so, my gyn dr was dr. dick. what a horrible moment i had that day . . . all i could do was laugh and laugh. at least he saw the humor too.

[maestrowork]

How can I forget Candy Kane? And Cotton Candy. Both real names.

[Sarita]

I work with a PhD named Dr. Weener... 2 Girls I know:

Botany
Biology

[WVWriterGirl]

Oh, I forgot to mention. I pay health insurance claims for a living, so I see all kinds of wacky doctor names.

We've had:
Dr. Doctor
Dr. Butts, the proctologist
Dr. Wiener, the urologist
**** Love-Johnson, PHD, the marriage counselor (**** = Provider's first name)
Dr. Bone, the orthopaedist
Dr. Smile, Dr. Grin and Dr. Rot, all three dentists
One provider's first name is Abiola, who always makes me think of ebola
There's one doctor, a podiatrist, who has a fitting name, too, but I can't remember it at the moment...darnit...

WVWG

[Penelope]

My grandfather's name was (and still is, I suppose) WM - they weren't initials that stood for anything, no periods after the letters, just WM (and of course, he was dubbed Dub for short). :)

My name is Poppy. I got called Poopy a lot as a kid. Then when I was a teenager, I was called Blow Pop, Tootsie Pop, Poppycock...you get the idea.

[maestrowork]

Seymour Butts would be a good name.

[Penelope]

We've had:
Dr. Doctor

This reminds me of that Thompson Twins song:

Oh, Doctor, doctor, can't you see I'm burning, burning...

:ROFL:

[mommie4a]

We can safely assume that Jenna knows that we're listing names or name patterns that she shouldn't use, RIGHT? :Thumbs:

[jdkiggins]

I sure hope so. Otherwise our poor leader just :faint:

[Penelope]

A few months ago I had a dream that I gave birth to a girl and named her Miracle. Considering I had my tubes tied last summer, yes, she would be. ;)

[SRHowen]

Shawn, my name is S H A W N anyone see an A on the end of that???? Yet, every time I meet new people, esp women they call me ShAWNAAAA

UGH

Even at work, customers will look at my name tag and say is that your real name, or is that your name tag? I wanna scream.

Shawn (yes, it is Shawn)

[sgtsdaughter]

Shawn, I know the feeling. My name is Annessa, and I am continually amazed how people will meet me (or read the name) and insert a V. And then there are a few Ls that get put in there. How, I am not sure.

But the funny part is my sister, who's five years older than me, is Vinnita. Her name always get the A. So we've make a joke . . . That our dad (since he named us) reversed the A and V on us because he forgot it with her--even though I was far from thought of when she came along.

Annessa (with an A not a V) ;)

[Sarita]

Shawn, my name is S H A W N anyone see an A on the end of that????

Okay, I know it's not the same, but EVERYONE always adds an H at the end of my name. It's SARA, not SARAH... and being without the H is very important to me. It was fate...

My dad picked out my name and didn't want the H, but my mom liked the H saying it looked more traditional (meanwhile, can you get more traditional than Sara, with or without H? Okay Eve maybe...) So, my mom was alone when they asked her to fill out the paperwork for my name, and she put the H on there. When my birth cert came back ... no H. Someone missed it. For some reason, I am not meant to have an H at the end of my Sara.

[maestrowork]

My middle name is Kin. I used it for a while in college, and junk mail started to arrive at my dorm addressed to Kim (or worse, Kimbely)... like female hygiene products, Victoria Secret's (not that I was complaining), WWHMA (Women Who Hate Men Association), that sort of things.

[JenNipps]

i had a doctor once, and no joking here, his name was richard dick. so, my gyn dr was dr. dick. what a horrible moment i had that day . . . all i could do was laugh and laugh. at least he saw the humor too.

I did transcription a couple weeks ago oin a guy named Richard Dick. Then, my Mom used to be in copier sales. One decision-maker she had to call on was Peter Dick.

[firehorse]

My dad picked out my name and didn't want the H, but my mom liked the H saying it looked more traditional (meanwhile, can you get more traditional than Sara, with or without H? Okay Eve maybe...) So, my mom was alone when they asked her to fill out the paperwork for my name, and she put the H on there. When my birth cert came back ... no H. Someone missed it. For some reason, I am not meant to have an H at the end of my Sara. I've got your H, Sara ;)

[Sarita]

I've got your H, Sara ;)

You can have it, it looks good on you!

[awatkins]

We have a dentist in the area named Dr. Boozer. And then there's the dermatologist named Dr. Skinner. And a surgeon named Dr. Payne. No kidding. :D

[shugar]

There's a plastic surgeon down the street, Dr.Younger. A dentist named Dr.Pisonyu.. I thought my boss was joking until I walked by the office myself ..:roll:

[jdkiggins]

Shawn, my name is S H A W N anyone see an A on the end of that???? Yet, every time I meet new people, esp women they call me ShAWNAAAA

UGH

Even at work, customers will look at my name tag and say is that your real name, or is that your name tag? I wanna scream.

Shawn (yes, it is Shawn)

I see your point, Shawn. Most people would think that spelling for a man. Having not met you, I did. Excuse my question in the other thread. Please.;)

[arainsb123]

I know a girl named Regina. SEEMS ordinary, but her name is pronounced ... differently than one would expect. Her pronounciation rhymes with a certain female body part. She used to correct people on the pronounciation a while ago ...

She now prefers the nickname of "Jodie."

[VA Buckeye]

Her pronounciation rhymes with a certain female body part.

Delores?

[firehorse]

I know a girl named Regina.
Regina is also a major city in Saskatchewan, and Spadina is a major street in Toronto. I had trouble getting used to it when I moved here, but now the pronunciation seems quite normal.

[WVWriterGirl]

A's and V's, add the H or not...let's talk about blatant, out-and-out wrong.

My first name is Linley. L-I-N-L-E-Y. It's not Linsey, Linney, Lizzie, Libby, Lin, Lin-Lee, Leslie...it's Linley. I've been called all of the above (and more) over the course of my lifetime. Heck, when I was in high school they put me in the boy's gym class because Linsey and Leslie are common male names here. Check the equipment, ya'll, I don't quite fit in.

Now, I understand how my parents arrived at my name (they combined two names - see above) but my question is why did they saddle me with such a moniker? My middle name is Beth - couldn't we have just went with that? It's nice and normal...

The only upswing to this? It's unique, and I rarely have to come up with a "handle" because most people think it's just a made-up name. Oh, and I won't have to come up with a pen name, either, if I ever get published. What crazed fan would ever believe it's my "real name"?

WVWG

[Penelope]

And a surgeon named Dr. Payne. No kidding. :D

I'm an hour away from it, but at the University of Southern Mississippi, there's this place called the Payne Center (http://www.usm.edu/recsports/html/payne.html). It's a facility that supports fitness and recreational sports. There are people who joke about it being the 'Pain' Center, but of course, there are just as many people who truly believe it is spelled Pain.

[Penelope]

The only upswing to this? It's unique, and I rarely have to come up with a "handle" because most people think it's just a made-up name. Oh, and I won't have to come up with a pen name, either, if I ever get published. What crazed fan would ever believe it's my "real name"?

Same thing with my name, Poppy Hullings. My maiden name is Poppy White and that sounds 'made up' too. I like Linley, it's pretty.

[JennaGlatzer]

Another great prize added just now. See first post again. :)

[Penelope]

Well, it's not a hot tub complete with Ray, but it'll do. ;)

Seriously though, great addition to the prize package. :)

[hockeytaxi]

Funny Thread:

I'm a twin and my middle name is 'Wilde' and my sister's is 'Lair', which apparently means 'calm'. I've always liked my middle name and the kids all think it's cool! I named my first son, Nicholas, after a character I fell in love with in a book. My husband was allowed to give our children their middle names. We have a rule at our house. She who gives natural birth to 10lb babies, names the babies. That may start a whole new thread :D .

Selena

[Samm]

What a hoot -- love the real and fictional names in this thread!

When we were expecting our first, my husband wanted "Vincent Conrad" if it was a boy (our last name begins with an R). I told him I did not want a VCR for a son. He looked at me sorta strangely, but didn't say anything. Pregnancy hormones, yanno. ;)

Anyway, it was then that I explained that I check what the child's initials might spell. He was a little more aware after that lesson. :Lecture: :) Our "VCR" was actually named Matthew and will be 16 in May. Time flies...

[Jakalyn]

Anyway, it was then that I explained that I check what the child's initials might spell.

I do, too. I once read (think it was in a baby name book) that some people believe that if a child's name actually spells a word (real or not, but one that can be pronounced) they will be more successful than if their initials were JLM or something similar.

So, my kid's initials are JAM, KAM, and BAM

http://absolutewrite.com/forums/images/icons/icon10.gif

[maestrowork]

Oooo, exposure is good. Now I want to win. Pick me. Pick me. Me me me. I give great massages and operate the hottest hot tub this side of the Internet.

Hello?

... Hello...

(suddenly I feel like Nancy at her lemonade stand)

[Melina]

I'm with you on this one, Shawn, Linley, and Anessa-

I invariably get called Melinda. No, there is no "D". Then, I also get Melanie, Marlene, Millenia (eeeeew), etc.

I also think it's important to think about what to name your child. I wanted to name my younger son Gabriel. But, his last name is Boyd. I figured he'd probably be called Gabe, and Gabe Boyd sounds like Gay Boy. So, Gabriel is his middle name (couldn't let it go completely, it's an old family name) and I settled for Austin as his first.

My fiance went to school with a girl whose full name is Breezy Summer Day. When my older daughter was born, my obstetrician's name was Dr. Breeden.

[maestrowork]

There was a couple on the news a few weeks ago: Mr. and Mrs Toy. The guy's name is Boy...

Serious.

[rhymegirl]

How about if a child's initials spell out a sandwich? My youngest son's ititials are B L T.

[Alphabet]

Something to consider, most companies insist on a middle initial now for employee email addresses, and if the employee does not have a middle initial they may insist on the letter X Joe X Bloggs . Most employees that have to have the letter X hate it.. ... so choosing a middle name is a good idea.

Having said that, we didn't for our firstborn because we couldn't think of anything we both liked that went with the first name we both loved.

[maestrowork]

My middle name is Lover.

[Jakalyn]

How about if a child's initials spell out a sandwich? My youngest son's ititials are B L T.


since BLT's are the best sandwich ever invented, those would be cool initials to have.

[Jakalyn]

My middle name is Lover.

I thought I was the only one who had that middle name!

http://pages.prodigy.net/indianahawkeye/newpage23/15.gif

[Jolie]

I have a 14 year old son named Xanthe. I read a Peirs Anthony book while I was pregnant and loved the idea of the land of Xanth. Its a place where all citizens are born with a special power and they have 18 years to figure out what makes them unique from everyone else, then they announce it to the town. I wanted my son to have that special direction, the push to find out what makes him special.

My family of course thought I was sentencing him to a horrible fate but he LOVES the name, and so do all the girls at school :wag:

BTW, my daughter's name is Tahni!

[paprikapink]

I think those are great names, Jolie (also a great name!). I was fairly conservative when I named my kids, although I studied the Social Security list of most common names assiduously to be sure I didn't choose anything in the top 100. I wanted unique but not wierd. I think I really shouldn't have worried about it. At my kids' school there are so many names from every which source -- Cedar, Hopi, Sierra, Stream, Sedona, Akim, Viesulas, Atticus, Indianna, Finnegan, Nodoka, Soomyung...the kids don't think a thing about it. I think especially as we become more and more internationally diverse, we have a broader sense of what's "normal." I also noticed watching football and baseball lately how international the players' name are. Hideki Matsui is my daughter's favorite Yankee.

"Apple" may seem wierd to us now, but by the time she's a teenager, it will just be another name.

-paprikapink, aka Ellen

[Jolie]

I agree totally, and what is kinda cool is that Apple will be a normal name to all of those in that generation but names like Thad and Ida, old school names from my great-grandmother's era, will seem odd and different! It's very interesting to observe the way changes in our society can be detected through the names of our kids!

[TemlynWriting]

I have a 14 year old son named Xanthe. I read a Peirs Anthony book while I was pregnant and loved the idea of the land of Xanth. Its a place where all citizens are born with a special power and they have 18 years to figure out what makes them unique from everyone else, then they announce it to the town. I wanted my son to have that special direction, the push to find out what makes him special.

My family of course thought I was sentencing him to a horrible fate but he LOVES the name, and so do all the girls at school :wag:

BTW, my daughter's name is Tahni!

I love the name "Xander," from Buffy, but my husband isn't for it at all. LOL!

[TemlynWriting]

How about if a child's initials spell out a sandwich? My youngest son's ititials are B L T.


I have a friend whose daughter's initials are TAZ. :)

[Penelope]

My middle name is Lover.

It is not. Your full name is Gim Me More. Lover is just your pet name.

[SueB]

It is not. Your full name is Gim Me More. Lover is just your pet name.

Hey everyone! I was just browsing through the prizes for the grand prize winner and it occured to me that I will offer another prize of my own :Smack: for the grand prize winner. I know you will have all that exposure with agents and publishers, etc.
Well, here's the thing. You might run out of material to sell. So I'm offering my best 3 novels, and best 12 childrens' books, and my very top young adult fantasy, along with 20 poems for you to place (for me). I wouldn't want you to be embarassed running out of material too soon. Yeah? :Hug2:

[InkSpotter]

What a lovely bunch of coconuts!

And the prizes are cool, too.

Betty Dobson
inkspotter.com

[paprikapink]

Hey everyone! I was just browsing through the prizes for the grand prize winner and it occured to me that I will offer another prize of my own :Smack: for the grand prize winner. I know you will have all that exposure with agents and publishers, etc.
Well, here's the thing. You might run out of material to sell. So I'm offering my best 3 novels, and best 12 childrens' books, and my very top young adult fantasy, along with 20 poems for you to place (for me). I wouldn't want you to be embarassed running out of material too soon. Yeah? :Hug2:

Gee, now that's a pal.

Thanks, pal.

:rolleyes:

-pkpk