Profanity through first person narration?

[sportacus]

I was just wondering if anyone here has done a first person narration where the MC is, by nature, quite profain. My MC in my WIP is that way, and I'm just wondering if anyone or everyone here thinks it's appropriate to refer to a lot of rain as a 'sh*tload', or to tell people to f*ck off often. I also would like to know whether the amount of profanity varies a lot from what's said in narration to what's actually said aloud.

Thanks.

Edit: The intended audience is ranging from young adults on upwards.

[Stew21]

My MC uses profanity. It is written in "his voice". that is the way he speaks. it is the way the narration has to read if I want it written in his voice.

[taloom]

Your character could be like an GF of mine: she put the word "f*ck" in every sentence: "Let's go to McF*ckingDonalds" or "Enclof*ckapedia"

[Valona]

Then again, I think, especially for YA, the use of profanity can be overdone. Kids get enough of that in their daily lives. Wouldn't it be nice, just once in a while, to be able to get away from all that trash talk?

I realize some writers feel it's necessary, but to use it in every sentence is a bit much, IMO.

[James81]

I don't mind profanity (and I use a lot of it in my writing--to the point I have to consciously pull back sometimes and cut back), but it depends on what audience you are looking for.

The broadest audience for you writing you can get, would be using PG type language. If you don't care about narrowing your audience to older adults, then use it as you wish.

[Lifelongdagger]

The MC in my WIP swears a lot. He is a very angry, obnoxious individual. For me to write him without him swearing just wouldn't make sense. Every time he swears, however, it is connected with an emotion, usually anger, but sometimes desperation. I think to swear in every other sentence as if it is just part of the vernacular of his speech, even though some people do talk like this, does not translate well in literary terms. I think it is a bit like dialogue. If our characters spoke exactly as 'real' people speak, their speeches would be littered with ums, ahs, ers, and the like. Instead, we alter it to fit in literary terms, perhaps making it more concise or more dramatic than it might otherwise be. Swearing, I think, is the same. If it fits the character, use it, but connect it with an emotion, otherwise it is just gratuitous and serves very little purpose.

[ORION]

One of my characters (a Vietnam vet) uses F*** a lot. I don't actually have him say it as much as have the other characters comment about his filthy language.
It gives the illusion that he says it more than he does-
There has to be a reason for the language - more than just characterization- otherwise it truly does get in the way of the story and o course it totally depends on your audience.

[maestrowork]

You do have to know your market. Obviously if you're writing for children, you shouldn't use profanity. YA is a bit tricky. Christian fiction may dictate certain things. But general adult fiction? F___ yeah, if it's done right, especially in 1st person.

[WriteKnight]

I highly reccomend "Motherless Brooklyn" by Jonathan Lethem. -

"A compelling and compulsive riff on the classic detective novel.
Lionel Essrog is Brooklyn's very own self appointed Human Freakshow, an orphan whose Toruettic impulses drive him to bark, count, and rip apart our language in startling and original ways." -

Including profanities that would make Philip Marlowe blush.

A terrific read, and the cursing as part of the character is fascinating and compelling. I'm not saying YOU'RE MC should suffer from it, just saying that if its an element of his character, go with it.

[dempsey]

Just bear in mind that swears are salient words. It's like saying "Inconceivable!" over and over. People are going to notice because it's not an invisible word like "a" or "the" or "said."

Go ahead and swear. Just make sure the swears don't overstay their welcome.

(This is coming from someone with the mouth of a fscking sailor.)

[sportacus]

Here are a couple examples from my WIP:

“Hey Troy, what the f*ck is taking you so long?” It was Jack’s voice from downstairs. “I’m just loading up, jack*ss!” I shouted in response.



Follow it?! Why the hell should we follow it? Realizing the futility of only thinking this question to myself, I asked “Why the F*CK should we follow it?!”

[KTC]

Motherless Brooklyn absolutely frickin' rocks! I love that book.

I use profanity where it is warranted. I don't believe in not using it. I don't believe in drenching my work with it. When my characters insist on using it, I allow it. Authenticity.

[lute]

It's strange, because I don't swear much when speaking in real life. But I do when I'm thinking ;) I think it would be realistic to have your character narrating their thoughts and using swearing. If you're writing YA and upwards, I would probably hold off on a full on assult of cursing because it can get to be over the top. If a character swears ten times within his thoughts during the first three pages of the book, the reader will get the hint that they use it often, and I don't think it would be necessary to include it in everything they say or think.

[Cat Scratch]

If it's authentic to your character, then use it. Nothing takes me out of a novel faster than a bad-*ss character who says "Oh, shoot" because the author was uncomfortable using profanity.

[David I]

I also would like to know whether the amount of profanity varies a lot from what's said in narration to what's actually said aloud.

I don't see any likely difference in the amount of profanity a first-character narrator would be likely to use in narration as opposed to the same narrator would have in their dialogue.

That said, however, I think that profanity is very easily overdone. The protagonist of my novel Shock and Awe--a woman BTW--has a vocabulary that would make a sailor blush. But there is less profanity in her dialogue than I think is realistic.

That's because dialogue isn't supposed to be realistic.

To give a less charged example than "fuck": Like, you know how some people, like, can't finish a single sentence without at least one "like." It's, like, irritatiting.

If you report the speech of such a person realistically you will make your reader crazy. If you throw in just a few, the reader will get the idea; a few seems like a lot on the page.

The same with "Well," and "umm..." and "y'know" and all the rest. Readers expect far more vocabulary diversity in dialogue that you will find in real life.

(Just for fun, I checked my book as published. In 520 manuscript pages, there are 92 fucks, 33 Christs, and 32 shits. These tend to occur clustered on the same pages. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd estimate that profanity occurs on one out of every ten pages--but it feels like a lot more than that.)

[KTC]

92 fucks! Holy. I thought I was bad. I checked and I had 28. lol. Congrats.

[Expanding Ink]

If it's authentic to your character, then use it. Nothing takes me out of a novel faster than a bad-*ss character who says "Oh, shoot" because the author was uncomfortable using profanity.

Ditto. IMHO, you have to be true to your characters first and foremost. If your character has a dirty mouth/mind, that should probably come across in the writing. Plus, the use of profanity can reveal something about your characters - they probably want to, at the very least, give the appearance of being cool and tough.

On the other hand, since you are writing for the YA audience, you might want to temper it a bit. I'm not sure how it's set up now, but maybe you could restrict the profanity to a certain character or two or a certain situation. Plus, speaking as someone who lives with 2 YA boys, it doesn't really take much profanity to get them excited about a story. You don't necessarily have to go overboard - just dropping in a few choice words will make them think that your characters, and your story, are worth the effort.

Oh, and it could eventually keep parents and schoolboards from freaking out. Unless, of course, that is your intended effect - in which case, I salute you, Mr. Sportacus, and wish you luck. :)

[cletus]

That said, however, I think that profanity is very easily overdone. The protagonist of my novel Shock and Awe--a woman BTW--has a vocabulary that would make a sailor blush. But there is less profanity in her dialogue than I think is realistic.

When you have an ex-Army protaginist drunk in a sex shop and kicking a bunch of guys' asses by the end of chapter 1, she doesn't need to swear too much to get an idea of her character. ;)

[David I]

When you have an ex-Army protaginist drunk in a sex shop and kicking a bunch of guys' asses by the end of chapter 1, she doesn't need to swear too much to get an idea of her character. ;)

Yikes! You've read the book, (or at least the first chapter)!

You'll notice that I say things like yikes. But I'm not Carla...

[cletus]

Yikes! You've read the book, (or at least the first chapter)!

Only the first chapter...too much swearing, had to put it down.













:DReceived it for Christmas (it was on my list) and read it cover to cover. Good read, I love an intelligent thriller.

[Nakhlasmoke]

Eeek, I just checked, 30 fucks in a 60k YA novel. Hmmm.

And I toned her down. Sadly this is the only character I've written who speaks like I do.

Yanno what. Go for it. If it works, you'll know. If everyone turns around and says I had to put this down because there were too many swearwords in it, then you might have a small problem. Albeit one that is pretty easily rectified.

[ink wench]

If it works, you'll know. If everyone turns around and says I had to put this down because there were too many swearwords in it, then you might have a small problem. Albeit one that is pretty easily rectified.
Pretty much, and as a first cut if it annoys you, then you know something's got to give. My MC swears like a sailor in the beginning of my story (before she's forced to work on her manners), but after a few chapters her potty mouth got on my nerves. My delete key became like a little soap in the mouth. What's interesting is that I'm not sure she lost all that much character because of it. It's still quite clear that she's an uneducated, foul-mouthed urchin. I just don't have to listen to it anymore.

[melaniehoo]

In my memoir I don't say it a lot, but enough. Probably twenty times in the entire book (including f#$%ing) but ten of them are all in a row. :D


ETA: I checked. I only say it ten times, six of which were in a row. I tend to exaggerate, sorry.

[sportacus]

I'm averaging 4 f*cks per chapter so far.

[Mythica]

I approve of profanity!

I think it's funny, but I've never taken profanity seriously. I'm too used to everyone around me cussing like sailors.

[williemeikle]

My current series is set in Glasgow, Scotland. In certain bars there, the swearing is constant, and is also casual... it's just part of the wallpaper.

My MC (who is a PI) swears, but not as much as some of his customers. It does let me have some colourful phrasing though... I had fun writing this:-

"F*cking countryside," he said. "If it’s brown it looks like sh*t, if it’s green it smells of sh*t, and if it's brown and green, it is sh*t."

[julief]

59 f*cks as of pg 124
I knew my MC was using it more than I do in real life, but WOW.
MC's an angry person, mad at everyone all the time.

[Sage]

Wow, this question came up in the YA thread today (maybe 'cuz of this thread?). I knew I didn't use the F-word, but I thought I used other swear words a lot more than I did. The most I had used of one was 19 times in one ms. I'm not counting "Hell," since it's a location in two of my novels ;)

[Shady Lane]

Wow, this question came up in the YA thread today (maybe 'cuz of this thread?). I knew I didn't use the F-word, but I thought I used other swear words a lot more than I did. The most I had used of one was 19 times in one ms. I'm not counting "Hell," since it's a location in two of my novels ;)

Yep yep, I mentioned it because I saw this thread.

I have 137 in one of my YA mss.

[Sonneillon]

I have a character who cusses all the time. It's more of an accent than a character statement with her. I've been told by several people that I need to tone down her swearing because, especially in contrast with her very proper and polite partner, it's too harsh and jarring. My defense was "but that's how she TALKS". If I ever get around to writing their story, I suppose we'll see how it goes. Personally, I'm okay with it so long as it's consistent and supported by their character.

[Shweta]

Uh, everybody here is familiar with The Catcher in the Rye, right?

Just asking, since some people seem to be talking about what's possible/what will sell/what YAs will read, and not just what's appropriate to the novel in question.

[Raphee]

If you use profanity sparingly, it has more Shock and Awe [ sorry David.:) ]

Use it at the appropriate places, for characterization and situation development. The readers shall get the idea.

[ink wench]

This post must have inspired me because my MC lost her temper last night and I ended up using fvck or some derivative of it 8 times in one page.

[dreamsofnever]

I'm a bit of a prude on this, but too much profanity in fiction bothers me. It's funny because I tend to have a foul mouth in real life, but when reading, the words really jump out at me.

It's like, with all the words available to us as writers, why lean on a few words as a crutch?

It's a bit different in first person, but remember that you are not simply writing how the narrator talks, but writing a more eloquent version of something that gives the feel of their voice, if that makes sense.

I say, sprinkle a few swear words in for flavor but don't overdo it. then again, you know your character's voice best and if you're writing without much swearing and it doesn't feel right, then of course you should use a few more.

[BigRed]

I see no problem with the MC swearing, profusely, if it is true to who they are. Swearing just for effect in a novel makes me want to throw the book out the window. On a side note, my current MC absolutely refuses to swear! The little sh*t is driving me nuts! His world is falling down around him, chaos reigns, all hell is breaking loose and he can't even curse. Talk about a frustrating git!

[Nakhlasmoke]

wait a minute...how is Hell a swearword?