PHENTERMINE

[FABIANA_STAR07]

Spam spam spammity spam.

I couldn't bring myself to delete the whole thread, so I'm just editing this OP. Damn you, PeeDee and Carrie and giftedrhonda, for being so entertaining!

[PeeDee]

Hi, Fabiana, welcome to the forums!

I think that your bolding of certain parts of your story is a little distracting, and perhaps it should be in the Share Your Work area instead?

Anyway, we'll give it a shot. I thought it was really good toward the ending, but your beginning dragged. And watch those adverbs!

[PeeDee]

Remember, folks, PAPPYOXILHYDROMELATHENASCORICEALAMEDALINARIN is a valid alternative to this wimpy medication! PAPPYOXILHYDROMELATHENASCORICEALAMEDALINARIN will not only solve all of your medical problems, it is guaranteed to stop terrorists and make you more patriotic.

BUT! If you order a lifetime supply (two years) in the next ten minutes, we'll include the GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL for FREE! That's right! FOR FREE! CALL NOW!

[pink lily]

Hi, Spammer, welcome to the free online community you joined where you posted your SPAM and expected us to click your links! Luckily, we have a "report post" feature. Bye!

[PeeDee]

.....You report all my fun. Hmph.

[giftedrhonda]

WTF? That was weird.

[PeeDee]

WTF? That was weird.

Now, now. Just because you're not that kind of writer doesn't mean you should put them down. Maybe they're having real life issues. We should be more sensetive. You don't want to be a negative member of this community, do you? I thought not. Because then you'd be a loser.

[Carrie in PA]

I feel skinnier and healthier just reading it! And my back pain is gone!

[Carrie in PA]

Now, now. Just because you're not that kind of writer doesn't mean you should put them down. Maybe they're having real life issues. We should be more sensetive. You don't want to be a negative member of this community, do you? I thought not. Because then you'd be a loser.

HAHHAAHHAHHAAA

You wouldn't talk that way if you took their meds.

[PeeDee]

Reading about PAPPYOXILHYDROMELATHENASCORICEALAMEDALINARIN again gave me a stiffy. What do I do NOW!?

[Carrie in PA]

Wait 4 hours, then call your doctor! And all your neighbors! They'll be insanely jealous!

[PeeDee]

Fabiana, I'm sorry everyone is so mean to you. I wish they were nicer. I've complained about it lots, and they never listen. But hey, you're my best buddy, mmkay?

Give me the pills.

[Carrie in PA]

WOW!!! My penis has enlarged!!!! I didn't even know I HAD one!!!!!

[PeeDee]

WOW!!! My penis has enlarged!!!! I didn't even know I HAD one!!!!!

That's great, but my cat just fell off. Is that natural?

[Carrie in PA]

It's normal. Read the little insert that came with the pills. Nothing to worry about.

[Carrie in PA]

I'm going to see if I can pee standing up now.

[PeeDee]

With my lower back pain, I can't lift the little insert that came wiht the pills. If only I had something to take away this pain and maybe get the piece of shrapnel out of my back, from when the little boy stuck a piece of glass in me when I turned away after feeding him and I was leaving the basement.

If only there were SOMETHING to ease my suffering....

[PeeDee]

I'm going to see if I can pee standing up now.

Thanks to the pill, all I hit is the roof.

(ceiling, you mean?)

(No, I meant roof.)

[Carrie in PA]

I'm telling you, dude, these pills are MAGIC. They're the KEYS to a BETTER LIFE.

[PeeDee]

Where are the reliable testimonials!? Where is the doctor telling me about them!?

[Carrie in PA]

All the time I've wasted sitting down to pee! Well NO MORE! Thanks to the drugs in the OP!!!! WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!1

[Carrie in PA]

Where are the reliable testimonials!? Where is the doctor telling me about them!?

I'm not a doctor, but I'll put on this official looking lab coat and even put this here stethoscope (heart listeny thingy) around my neck!

[PeeDee]

What the........it's got animal phermones in it......there are MOOSE scratching at my door!!!! QUICK, stiffy, UNDER THE COUCH!!

[Carrie in PA]

Lean a little closer and I'll show you my syringe. *wink wink* It's NEW!

[Carrie in PA]

QUICK, stiffy, UNDER THE COUCH!!

You are a naughty, naughty boy!

[PeeDee]

That syringe is full of angst, isn't it? I know it. I can smell it from here. Don't come NEAR me with that. This medication interacts badly wiht angst!

[Carrie in PA]

You're not supposed to take this stuff with Enzyte.

[giftedrhonda]

Now, now. Just because you're not that kind of writer doesn't mean you should put them down. Maybe they're having real life issues. We should be more sensetive. You don't want to be a negative member of this community, do you? I thought not. Because then you'd be a loser.

Oh, PeeDee. You sure do put things in perspective. Thanks!

Rhonda, who feels better after trying ALL NEW PHENTERMINE!!!

[Jamesaritchie]

I'm going to see if I can pee standing up now.

Now you can find out how much fun it is to write your name in the snow.

[Carrie in PA]

Rhonda? Did you grow a penis, too?

[PeeDee]

But I love me some Enzyte! ANd so does the little lady(s)!

http://www.pharma-mkting.com/images/enzyte-guy.jpg

[Carrie in PA]

Now you can find out how much fun it is to write your name in the snow.

SWEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!!!!!!!

[giftedrhonda]

Rhonda? Did you grow a penis, too?

It's amazing how I can now pee my name into the snow without it dribbling all over the place...YAY FOR PHENTERMINE!!!

[Carrie in PA]

*minutes later*

That was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[PeeDee]

Just make sure it's snow.

Because the drug lords get REALLY pissed, and you've sort of left a calling card if you're not careful.

On the other hand, peeing in the snow is a great idea for writers.

"HERE'S YER AUTOGRAPH! HAW HAW HAW!"

[PeeDee]

ANyway, you guys are giving me negative vibes, because I can't pee "Tzinski" in the snow without causing bladder damage.

[giftedrhonda]

I used to be a depressed loser writer who insulted other posters' writing about phentermine. But now, my life has changed!

Phentermine brought me out of the slumps, gave me man junk and a 30% salary increase. Thanks, Phentermine!!

[Carrie in PA]

I didn't want to use my OWN name, so I used yours. If you pee in cursive, it works out just fine.

[Carrie in PA]

I used to be a depressed loser writer who insulted other posters' writing about phentermine. But now, my life has changed!

Phentermine brought me out of the slumps, gave me man junk and a 30% salary increase. Thanks, Phentermine!!

BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!

Here! Put on the lab coat and say that into the camera!!!!!

[giftedrhonda]

*poses for camera with a cheesy grin* - YAY!!!

LOLOL this is waaaaay too fun.

[PeeDee]

If you want to change your font size, pee from the rooftops. Works great.

I really feel that the original poster is a natural writer, with gifts, whom I respect. Unfortunately, she's going through a difficult time in her life that we should all discuss carefully.

Also, I've just turned into a woman. Help!

[giftedrhonda]

PeeDee - PHENTERMINE may have varying side effects...it's best to consult your doctor or pharmicist to determine the extent of your womanliness.

[Carrie in PA]

Also, I've just turned into a woman. Help!

Well I'm not giving this back! (Er... NOT implying that it was YOURS specifically....)

[Carrie in PA]

PeeDee - PHENTERMINE may have varying side effects...it's best to consult your doctor or pharmicist to determine the extent of your womanliness.

OMG HE JUST PM'd ME AND INVITED ME TO GO SHOPPING FOR SHOES!!!!!!!

Sorry. I have burping and scratching and farting to do.

[giftedrhonda]

SAY NO! He'll just make you hold his purse while he tries on 40 pairs and ends up buying the original first pair he tried on...

[PeeDee]

Well I'm not giving this back! (Er... NOT implying that it was YOURS specifically....)

Youdon't know how to handle that! It's a delicate instrument! It's very precise! DAMN IT!

The doctor tried to determine the extent of my womanliness, and I demanded five dollars, and he made me leave.

And none of you UNDERSTAND the original posters ART! You're all so MEAN! Over at PUBLISHAMERICA they UNDERSTAND! They know what it's ABOUT!

http://www.freakingnews.com/entries/22000/Warhol-meets-Enzyte-Bob__22146.jpg

[Carrie in PA]

Youdon't know how to handle that! It's a delicate instrument! It's very precise! DAMN IT!


So I shouldn't YANK on it like THIS?!

[PeeDee]

Beats me. Didn't come with a user's manual. Have fun. I'm a lesbian now.

[Carrie in PA]

*scratch scratch* Shaddup and get yer ass in the kitchen where you belong!

[giftedrhonda]

BAHAHAHAHAHA you two are killing me...

[PeeDee]

*scratch scratch* Shaddup and get yer ass in the kitchen where you belong!

You CAN'T just put me DOWN like that!! I am beautiful, no matter WHAT you say!!! I HAVE A VOICE!

I need some ice cream. And a Backstreet Boys CD to comfort me. I love Hugh Jackman. I'm so emotional. I like pink.

*SOB*

[Carrie in PA]

Pfffft. Women.

[PeeDee]

I am LEAVING to be with ALFONSE who understands the REAL ME, unlike YOU who just have a stiffy all day long!

[Carrie in PA]

Yeah well your MOM weren't bitchin about this stiffy LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

[giftedrhonda]

OOOOOOOOOOOH...nice one...

[PeeDee]

http://www.doctor-scripts.com/images/img_ds_home.jpg

Hi!

Did you witness the above marital dispute? Pretty heated, huh? Boy was it! Unfortunately, it's all too common in this great nation of ours. Studies show that 95% of all couples will do battle over men and women having equal rights and sexytime with mother. This has a margin of 55% error.

Well fortunately, your relationship doesn't have to have this problem.

With one small purchase of PHENTERMINE, you can have a solid relationship wiht the man -- or woman -- of your choice! THat's right, you pick 'em! And they will love you, and any erectile abilities which you possess, whether you previously posessed them or not.

In fact, not only does PHENTERMINE improve your life, it improves the world around you. What you dont' know is that PHENTERMINE is fixing the hole in the ozone layer, killing terrorists, AND....mending your shoes, at night! That's right! PHENTERMINE does all that for one low price!

PHENTERMINE is not for everybody. People who have angst should not use it, unless they want to drown in a horrible pool of bitter tears surrounded by the cloying stench of death and depression which smothers them until sweet surrendur takes them away and they are free from the horrors of this world.

Everyone else can take PHENTERMINE freely! Take five a day! Take more!

Give PHENTERMINE to your toddler, to help get the habit going early!

Sincerely,

The Medical Staff of 3rd Street and 12th Avenue.

P.S. As proud recommenderizers of PHENTERMINE, we would be glad to answer all questions you might have about this revolutionary new treatment!

[Carrie in PA]

http://www.wise.nhs.uk/sites/accelerated_development/PCT/Picture%20Library1/1/doctor%20and%20nurse.jpg

That's right, folks! Why, we used to have marital troubles, too! But we got on track and began using PHENTERMINE and now we routinely prowl the clubs for people willing to come home and do the nasty with us! With PHENTERMINE, we're able to satisfy DOZENS of partners!

THANK YOU, PHENTERMINE!!

[giftedrhonda]

*actual testimony*

I used to live without PHENTERMINE, but life wasn't without living. Now that I've tried it, I've suddenly decided life is wonderful! I threw out all my Air Supply CDs and bought Justin Timberlake!!!

PHENTERMINE: improving life, one sucker at a time...

[PeeDee]

http://www.script-doctor.net/images/howard.jpg

I am so confident in PHENTERMINE, I own the company. I haven't had a night alone since! Wow!

[Carrie in PA]

RLLGTHUNDER was too busy to post, so he asked me to share his testimonial!

Before PHENTERMINE, I looked like my avatar! But now, just six pills later, I am a DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN!!!

http://www.canmag.com/images/front/dvdnews/ren3.jpg

Not only that, but my disfiguring crotch disease is CURED!!!!!!!

[PeeDee]

RLLGTHUNDER: I had a disfiguring crotch disease before PHENTERMINE gave me something to be proud of! SOmething to hang my hat on! Thanks, PHENTERMINE!

DCLARY: People were always calling me miss, despite my heavy growth of facial hair! But with PHENTERMINE in my system, no one mistakes me for a woman unless they have vision problems, and then they just have to get closer!

JENNA: This thread about PHENTERMINE makes me want to not eat waffles anymore.

WILLIAM: i not only hate PHENTERMINE but this thread as well because it reminds me of butterflies, which are harbingers of the end times

[PeeDee]

http://www.muir-orthopedic-dr-john-k-wilhelmy-md.com/images/dr-john-k-wilhelmy-md.jpg

[giftedrhonda]

Brand-new PHENTERMINE is so powerful, FABIANA could only post once about it before exploding in a mass of utter nirvana...

[PeeDee]

Brand-new PHENTERMINE is so powerful, FABIANA could only post once about it before exploding in a mass of utter nirvana...

But she told us about PHENTERMINE, so we know that she at least went to heaven to be with Baby Jesus and NASCAR drivers. Bliss!

[Carrie in PA]

Side effects may include sexual attraction to sheep, dizziness, inablility to keep your hand out of your own pants, or those of others. Consult your doctor if you seek to engage in relations with non-sheep farm animals, such as goats, horses, pigs, or llamas. This medication may cause mild reactions in a small percentage of users. Please call your doctor if any of your limbs become detached, or if you are suddenly stricken blind, deaf, or mute.

[Carrie in PA]

Guys, lay off Fabio, okay? He's got to do SOMETHING since the romance novel cover career went down the shitter.

[giftedrhonda]

LOLOLOL - how did I not make the connection between Fabio and Fabiana?

[Carrie in PA]

LOLOLOL - how did I not make the connection between Fabio and Fabiana?

:roll: :roll:

[PeeDee]

LOLOLOL - how did I not make the connection between Fabio and Fabiana?

Because you're a negative person on these forums and you don't really contribute and I have loads of PMs from people telling me all about it!!!111

I need more PHENTERMINE, I'm getting misty.

[Carrie in PA]

I have to go pee... OH WAIT! No I don't! I bet I can hit the trash can from here!!!!

[Carrie in PA]

*whoops* Not quite...

[PeeDee]

I have to go pee... OH WAIT! No I don't! I bet I can hit the trash can from here!!!!

That's your neighbor's barbeque. Good shot, though! Shame about those steaks.

[giftedrhonda]

Shut up, PeeDee! You're such a lying liar! *cries*

Where's my bleeping PHENTERMINE! I NEED MORE!! I'm going to practice peeing on cheerios in the toilet!

[PeeDee]

Jenna's PM box is full. SHe wouldn't have this problem if she took...

...PHENTERMINE! The HOT NEW DRUG from the guys who brought you "There's Something About Mary" and KY Jelly!

[PeeDee]

Shut up, PeeDee! You're such a lying liar! *cries*

You're bieng MEAN and hurtful and I HATE EVERYTHING EXCEPT PHENTERMINE

[giftedrhonda]

I heard PHENTERMINE hates you and doesn't want you to ask it out anymore...

[PeeDee]

I heard PHENTERMINE hates you and doesn't want you to ask it out anymore...

whateva u dont no n3thing cause PHENTERMINE and me are gonna go ALL THE WAY 2NITE

[Carrie in PA]

Here ya go, Jenna!! :D

http://www.lakelandlimited.co.uk/content/images/staticpages/recipes/waffles.jpg

[giftedrhonda]

whateva u dont no n3thing cause PHENTERMINE and me are gonna go ALL THE WAY 2NITE

PHENTERMINE told me it was SO teasing U just to see how far U go...and U believed it!

SUCKR!!!

We laff about this all the time behind UR back...

[Carrie in PA]

whateva u dont no n3thing cause PHENTERMINE and me are gonna go ALL THE WAY 2NITE

lolololololllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111 KIK>

[PeeDee]

FAQ:

Q: PHENTERMINE huh?

A: Absatively!

Q: What does it do?

A: Makes you a good person! Makes women love you!

Q: Women remind me of my mother. She hated me.

A: She too will love you with PHENTERMINE!!! And handcuffs!

Q: THAT'S WRONG!!!

A: You're not asking questions.

Q: You're messed up.

A: Only because I haven't taken a handy dose of PHENTERMINE and read PETE & CARRIE VARIETY HOUR IV: AWERICAN IDLE!

Q: Is this pill taken orally?

A: No.

Q: ....er.......

A: Rashes can result.

Q: OH MY GOD!

A: Well, it doesn't fit down the human throat.

Q: OH MY GOD!!

A: GOod night, folks! Remember! ORder your lifetime (ten months) supply of PHENTERMINE today, or be alone and limp and miserable in the nursing home until you die!

[Carrie in PA]

PHENTERMINE is my baby daddy

[giftedrhonda]

The FAQs scared me. LOL

[PeeDee]

PHENTERMINE told me it was SO teasing U just to see how far U go...and U believed it!

SUCKR!!!

We laff about this all the time behind UR back...

WHATEVA ur making it UPP!!! PHENTERMINE luvs me and sed so wehn we were listenign 2 Nirvana!!! We want to DIE 2gether cuz its rmoanticgojhgohgr!!11

[Carrie in PA]

PHENTERMINE will make you live forevah!

[giftedrhonda]

PHENTERMINE is my baby daddy

PHENTERMINE is such a ho. It told me I was the only one! IT SAID I WAS SPECIAL!!!

*sobs*

[giftedrhonda]

WHATEVA ur making it UPP!!! PHENTERMINE luvs me and sed so wehn we were listenign 2 Nirvana!!! We want to DIE 2gether cuz its rmoanticgojhgohgr!!11

LOLOLOL I have no good reply to this. It made me laugh too hard.

[PeeDee]

PHENTERMINE is such a ho. It told me I was the only one! IT SAID I WAS SPECIAL!!!

*sobs*

PHENTERMINE HATES you! it LOVES me! Nightly!

That baby doesn't belong to you!

(laughing so hard....oh gods....my sides.........)

[giftedrhonda]

You two are a freaking riot. LOL

[Carrie in PA]

MAURY: Hand me the results

*dramatic silence as the envelope is peeled open*

MAURY: PHENTERMINE, you are NOT the father!!

CARRIE: OH NOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOO

MAURY: We've tested 73 drugs, we'll keep testing until we figure out whoz yo baby daddy!!

CARRIE: *dramatic sob, runs offstage*

PHENTERMINE: I done tol you, ho!!

[giftedrhonda]

MAURY: Hand me the results

*dramatic silence as the envelope is peeled open*

MAURY: PHENTERMINE, you are NOT the father!!

CARRIE: OH NOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOO

MAURY: We've tested 73 drugs, we'll keep testing until we figure out whoz yo baby daddy!!

CARRIE: *dramatic sob, runs offstage*

PHENTERMINE: I done tol you, ho!!

OOOOOOOOH GO MAURY...GO MAURY...GO MAURY...

LOLOLOL

[giftedrhonda]

This is my all-time favorite thread. I'm in tears.

[PeeDee]

http://www.forbiddenplanet.co.uk/images/D/D2938.jpg

We've used PHENTERMINE for three years now, and our relationship has never been better! It has brought my black hair back, and has made Peggy prettyer!

[Carrie in PA]

JERRY SPRINGER: So, Rhonda, you and PHENTERMINE been knockin' boots?

RHONDA: Yea, dat right, so WHUT!

JERRY: Well, PHENTERMINE has something he wants to tell you.

PHENTERMINE: Rhonda, baby you know I done looooooove yooooou, but... there been someone else.

RHONDA: *screams* NOOOOOOOOO HOW YOU GONNA DO ME LIKE DIS?! HUH?! ON TEE VEE?! HOW YOU GONNA DO ME LIKE DIS ON TEEEEEE VEEEEEE?!?!?!?!??!

PHENTERMINE: Baby, look, it's like this...

PETE *rushing out*: He's MINE, ho!

RHONDA: YOU BITCH!

PETE *making out with PHENTERMINE* BACK OFF, yo! He miiiiiiiine!!!

*fist fight ensues*

[giftedrhonda]

OMG Carrie, it's like you were there...LOLOLOL

[Carrie in PA]

OMG Carrie, it's like you were there...LOLOLOL

I was! I was on the stripper pole! Wheeeeeeeeee!!!!!

[PeeDee]

http://library.thinkquest.org/04apr/00328/jerry-springer.jpg

*whew!* Looks like PHENTERMINE is still working for me!

[giftedrhonda]

Pete: *lifts shirt* SEE THESE? PHENTERMINE couldn't stay away from THESE sweater puppies!

Rhonda: *cries* I HATE YOU - YOU took PHENTERMINE from ME! *claws at Pete*

Crowd: oooooooh FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!

[Carrie in PA]

Pete: *lifts shirt* SEE THESE? PHENTERMINE couldn't stay away from THESE sweater puppies!

Rhonda: *cries* I HATE YOU - YOU took PHENTERMINE from ME! *claws at Pete*

Crowd: oooooooh FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!

SWEATER PUPPIES!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[giftedrhonda]

TEE HEE - I'm sick in the head...but then again, so are you guys. It's like I'm home...hahaha

[Carrie in PA]

TEE HEE - I'm sick in the head...but then again, so are you guys. It's like I'm home...hahaha

It's.... it's like we're a threesome!!!

[PeeDee]

BEFORE PHENTERMINE: (http://www.galenfrysinger.com/Photos/amish07.jpg)

AFTER PHENTERMINE (http://images.askmen.com/imagessexsymbol/elizabethhurley/elizabeth_hurley_150b.jpg)

The CHOICE is YOURS!

[giftedrhonda]

hahahaha it's like we're three halves of the same PHENTERMINE-induced brain...

[giftedrhonda]

BEFORE PHENTERMINE: (http://www.galenfrysinger.com/Photos/amish07.jpg)

AFTER PHENTERMINE (http://images.askmen.com/imagessexsymbol/elizabethhurley/elizabeth_hurley_150b.jpg)

The CHOICE is YOURS!

NIIIIIIICE...well, I know which choice I'D be making...

[Carrie in PA]

hahahaha it's like we're three halves of the same PHENTERMINE-induced brain...

YOU get to be the half that does all the math!!!!!! :roll:

[PeeDee]

NIIIIIIICE...well, I know which choice I'D be making...

You have to ASK the Amish man first, though!

[Carrie in PA]

NIIIIIIICE...well, I know which choice I'D be making...

:Shrug: They both look about the same to me...

[PeeDee]

:Shrug: They both look about the same to me...

Thanks to PHENTERMINE, I can do a comparision and still have.....energy!......left over!

[giftedrhonda]

PHENTERMINE: what the technologically-defunct Amish culture has trusted for their uppers since 1960...

[Carrie in PA]

Thanks to PHENTERMINE, I can do a comparision and still have.....energy!......left over!

Pffft. That's what your MOM said.

[giftedrhonda]

OOOOOOH...............

[PeeDee]

I couldn't HEAR what YOUR mom was SAYING, because she was BUSY.

OHHHHHHH..........

(paying bills)

[Carrie in PA]

OOOOOOH...............

:roll:

You got summinta say? Bring it on!!! BRING. IT. OWANAH!!

[PeeDee]

JEBEDIAH: Looks like yer' raisin' a barn today, Ezekiel!

EZEKIEL: Damn straight, foo!

[BenPanced]

PHENTERMINE or PHENTERYOURS?

[Carrie in PA]

PHENTERMINE or PHENTERYOURS?

Posts by Ben! So cheesy they're funny!

[giftedrhonda]

LOL - nice...

I'm going to tinkle on myself from laughing so hard, seriously.


Oh, and Carrie? I am SO. READY. To BRING. IT. ON!!

[Carrie in PA]

LOL - nice...

I'm going to tinkle on myself from laughing so hard, seriously.


Oh, and Carrie? I am SO. READY. To BRING. IT. ON!!


Dude! Use the *you know*!!! You can whiz into the trash can! It rocks!!! :roll:

[giftedrhonda]

*dances like Elaine Benes from Seinfeld*

Carrie? You just got SERVED, yo...


This dance-off sponsored by PHENTERMINE!!

[Carrie in PA]

JERRY SPRINGER: OOOOOOH, Rhonda! Bad news! It looks as though PHENTERMINE was also cheating on you with Carrie!!!!

RHONDA: WHUT?! OH NO YOU DI-INT!!

CARRIE: OH YEAH I DI-ID!

*hair pulling ensues*

RHONDA: Wait, wait a sec.... I don't feel so good...

CARRIE: Me either...

*pop more PHENTERMINE*

RHONDA: HOO YEAH, Baby! That's the ticket!

CARRIE: Yeah. MY ticket, biotch!

RHONDA *throws chair*

CARRIE *catches it - PHENERMINE gives you muscles! - and throws it back*

RHONDA knocks it to the floor

JERRY: Ladies... can't we just get along? Is PHENTERMINE really worth all this?

RHONDA: Damn straight it is, old man! *lunges for Jerry*

CARRIE: This is some REALLY good popcorn!

CROWD: JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY!

[giftedrhonda]

JERRY: Ladies, calm down. We have one more special guest. Pete, please come out...

CROWD: OOOOOOOOOH...

PETE: Look here, hos - PHENTERMINE and I just got hitched in Vegas. Too bad for you losers!

CARRIE AND RHONDA: *lunge at Pete*

PHENTERMINE: Sorry, guys...don't hate the playa, hate the game...

CROWD: PHEN-TER-MINE! PHEN-TER-MINE!

[Carrie in PA]

*dances like Elaine Benes from Seinfeld*

Carrie? You just got SERVED, yo...


This dance-off sponsored by PHENTERMINE!!

http://www.fitness-daily.com/wp-content/retrostripper140x210.gif

BRING IT ON!!!!

[Carrie in PA]

JERRY: Ladies, calm down. We have one more special guest. Pete, please come out...

CROWD: OOOOOOOOOH...

PETE: Look here, hos - PHENTERMINE and I just got hitched in Vegas. Too bad for you losers!

CARRIE AND RHONDA: *lunge at Pete*

PHENTERMINE: Sorry, guys...don't hate the playa, hate the game...

CROWD: PHEN-TER-MINE! PHEN-TER-MINE!

:roll: :roll:

[giftedrhonda]

LOL. I stand by what I said earlier.

Best.

Thread.

Ever.

Okay, headed home. Thanks for helping work pass fast!!!

YAY!! PHENTERMINE N RHONDA 4-EVA!!!

[Carrie in PA]

Too bad Fabio got banned, he proved to be a valuable contributor to my afternoon. :roll:

[Carrie in PA]

LOL. I stand by what I said earlier.

Best.

Thread.

Ever.

Okay, headed home. Thanks for helping work pass fast!!!

YAY!! PHENTERMINE N RHONDA 4-EVA!!!

Awwwwwwwww, quitter!!! LOLOLOL!!!!

[dclary]

Ok. Who gave Peedee and Carrie have access to the drugs?

(Someone find me my tranq gun)

[Carrie in PA]

Ok. Who gave Peedee and Carrie have access to the drugs?

(Someone find me my tranq gun)

FABIO.

But Jenna let us keep them. :roll:

[dclary]

Bad Jenna!

It's like trying to deal with that monkey in the museum around heah!

[Carrie in PA]

Bad Jenna!

It's like trying to deal with that monkey in the museum around heah!

We gave her waffles.

And there are worse things to be than a monkey in the museum.

Like the guy who has to clean up monkey poo in the museum.

Although I suppose that's better than cleaning up monkey poo in a zoo... cuz, yanno, there's more monkeys and I bet more poo...

[BardSkye]

Thanks, guys, you literally had me in tears of laughter.

Have you actually, physically met, Pete and Carrie? Somehow I get the feeling that if you do the universe will implode, and will have lots of fun doing it!

[Carrie in PA]

Thanks, guys, you literally had me in tears of laughter.

Have you actually, physically met, Pete and Carrie? Somehow I get the feeling that if you do the universe will implode, and will have lots of fun doing it!

No. Our moms won't let us.

[Soccer Mom]

You two absolutely may not play together. Yanno. In person. But continue the online collaboration.

[Carrie in PA]

You two absolutely may not play together. Yanno. In person. But continue the online collaboration.

:roll: :roll:

I'm afraid to even contemplate a real meeting... I wonder if we'll be able to behave while on book tour?

(On our second book jacket: The only authors to be banned from Barnes and Noble!) :D

[Soccer Mom]

:roll: :roll:

I'm afraid to even contemplate a real meeting... I wonder if we'll be able to behave while on book tour?

(On our second book jacket: The only authors to be banned from Barnes and Noble!) :D

And banned from Oprah's couch.

[KimJo]

OMG... this thread is funnier than anything else I've read today. And that includes essays from high school students...

[Unique]

And banned from Oprah's couch.

Yeah. And we know why - that's where PeeDee hid his ...

oops.

[PeeDee]

Yeah. And we know why - that's where PeeDee hid his ...

oops.

OPRAH: So! PHENTERMINE is really working for you!

PETE: Yeah! It's neat! See?

OPRAH: OH MY GOD

The CROWD gasps in ASTONISHMENT.

OPRAH: Wow. If only I liked men!

PETE: Fear not. It's universal now! THanks to....PHENTERMINE!

[PeeDee]

Stay tuned later for a word from our sponsor....KEVIN PHENTERMINE!

[Stew21]

aw man, how'd I miss all this fun all day long?

[PeeDee]

I told Carrie, it's like an accidental Variety Hour. It's Variety Hour: Freestyle!

:D

(it was a good way to spend a day NOT meeting my deadlines)

[Stew21]

you coulda warned me it was out there or something, Petely. I would have enjoyed reading this and not meeting deadlines today too!

[PeeDee]

It's not like we planned it! :) This is just why we need more spam around the forums. It gives us a topic, and away we go.

....

Carrie and I have never met, except in our souls, which meet through our ART.

....

This message brought to you by PHENTERMINE! Small, yellow, different!

[Stew21]

(You don't have to explain the Pete/Carrie thing to me. I get it.)

[Gravity]

Testimonial: "Once I was ashamed of what I used to call the Little General. My wife had taken to slighting me, and after handball, I'd always shower alone. But then someone turned me on to Phentermine. My lord, what a change in a man's life just a small green pill can make. Now my wife is finally smiling, I'm the envy of the locker room, and even more amazing, I've discovered I'm able to pole-vault over foreign cars whenever I pass a Victoria's Secret store. Thanks Phentermine. Sign me up for the bulk discount; my wife insists! Signed, the Big Kahuna."

[PeeDee]

Testimonial: "Once I was ashamed of what I used to call the Little General. My wife had taken to slighting me, and after handball, I'd always shower alone. But then someone turned me on to Phentermine. My lord, what a change in a man's life just a small green pill can make. Now my wife is finally smiling, I'm the envy of the locker room, and even more amazing, I've discovered I'm able to pole-vault over foreign cars whenever I pass a Victoria's Secret store. Thanks Phentermine. Sign me up for the bulk discount; my wife insists! Signed, the Big Kahuna."

*cough* It's a little pink pill, actually. I'm not sure what you're taking, but it's not Phentermine!

[Carrie in PA]

PHENTERMINE: financing available

[PeeDee]

"PHETERMINE got my Cujo working!"
--Stephen King

"Without PHETERMINE, I couldn't get Harry up in the morning!"
-- J.K. Rowling

"I invented PHETERMINE, as everyone obviously knows, right, honey?"
-- Dan Brown

"PHETERMINE."
-- Ernest Hemingway.

"Its unscrupulous and indiscernable nature is invariably incognizant a part of its subdermal structure, PHETERMINE being some inscrutable elemental force which is batracian in my eyes."
-- H.P. Lovecraft

[Gravity]

*cough* It's a little pink pill, actually. I'm not sure what you're taking, but it's not Phentermine!

I dunno, but I get 'em from the vet. Heh. Heh.

[Gravity]

"PHETERMINE: relieving the White Man's Burden"--Rudyard Kipling

[Carrie in PA]

"I invented PHETERMINE, as everyone obviously knows, right, honey?"
-- Dan Brown

"Dan Brown is a lying sack of shit. I invented PHENTERAMINE, it gave me the cajones to create the Internet!"

--Al Gore

[PeeDee]

"The Romans did me in, but PHETERMINE brought me back up when the time came. Thanks, PHETERMINE!"
-- Jesus of Nazareth.

"YOU try creating the whole of creation in six days...without PHETERMINE!"

-- GOD.

"I couldn't have invented the DMV without PHETERMINE. Thanks!"

-- The DEVIL.

"It helps me put my pants on right side around!"

-- BOB.

[aadams73]

"Screw you, Federline, I said NO."

--Britney Spears

Oh wait, you said PHENTERMINE. Never mind. Carry on. *Ahem*

[PeeDee]

"PHENTERMINE is unique and interesting and resonates with us, here in our headquarters, and gives us a great boost of vigor on those late nights when we are 'inspecting' each other! Thanks, PHENTERMINE!"

-- The Three Stooges, Publish America HQ

[Carrie in PA]

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGAAAA AAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

--Gengis Kahn

[PeeDee]

"PHENTERMINE gave me the best week of my life in the Oval Office!"

-- Harry Widget, eighty-first president of the United States.

[Gravity]

"PHENTERMINE is unique and interesting and resonates with us, here in our headquarters, and gives us a great boost of vigor on those late nights when we are 'inspecting' each other! Thanks, PHENTERMINE!"

-- The Three Stooges, Publish America HQ

You forgot, "it also fits us like a glove." Smeared with KY jelly, no doubt.

[Carrie in PA]

"PHENTERMINE makes me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

--Bruce Banner

[Carrie in PA]

"You can't spell SUPERMAN without PHENTERMINE."

--Superman

"He's a little slow. Ignore him."

--Lois Lane

[Gravity]

"PH-PH-PH-PHENTERMINE is g-g-great!"--Porky "the Big Kielbasa" Pig

[Carrie in PA]

"PH-PH-PH-PHENTERMINE is g-g-great!"--Porky "the Big Kielbasa" Pig

:roll: :roll: :roll:

[Carrie in PA]

"Thpam is dithpithcible!"

--Daffy Duck

[Gravity]

"PHENTERMINE sent me over the rainbow...and I got to really see what that man behind the curtain had packed away! Rowrrr!"--Dorothy

[PeeDee]

"PH-PH-PH-PHENTERMINE is g-g-great!"--Porky "the Big Kielbasa" Pig

Later, Pork was also quoted as saying.

"PH-PH-PH-PHENTERMINE g-g-g-g-gives me a great b-big di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-advantage in l-l--life!"

[Carrie in PA]

Later, Pork was also quoted as saying.

"PH-PH-PH-PHENTERMINE g-g-g-g-gives me a great b-big di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-advantage in l-l--life!"

HAH!!!! HAHAHA!!!!

[PeeDee]

"Those meddling kids and their PHENTERMINE.....gave me the time of my life! Yeeeow! Call me!"

-- Old Missus Struthers.

[Carrie in PA]

"PHENTERAMINE lets me breathe underwater!"

--Batman

"BATMAN! DEAR GOD SOMEBODY HELP HIM!!!! BAAAATTMAAAAANNNN!!!!!!!!!"

--Robin, holding a drowned Batman

[PeeDee]

"PPPPPHHHHHHHEEEEENNNNNNNTTTTERRRRRRRMIIIIIIIIIINNN NNEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!"

-- Captain James T. Kirk

[Carrie in PA]

"PHENTERMINE makes me want to touch myself."

--Edward Scissorhands

"That was a bad idea."

--Edward Scissorhands

[PeeDee]

"If we didn't not have PHENTERMINE, mate, then we wouldn't not be men of the sea, wouldn't we not?"

-- Jack Sparrow (Captain)

[Carrie in PA]

"PPPPPHHHHHHHEEEEENNNNNNNTTTTERRRRRRRMIIIIIIIIIINNN NNEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!"

-- Captain James T. Kirk

"Dammit Jim, I'm a Spammer, not a doctor!"

--Dr. McCoy

"This is highly illogical. But with PENTERAMINE, I don't care!"

--Spock

[PeeDee]

"No danger of breaking apart now, Cap'n! Nae with PHENTERMIN! My "wee" baerns nothin'!"

[Carrie in PA]

"Define taking PENTERAMINE..."

--Bill Clinton

[PeeDee]

*checks that off the list* Okay, that means Carrie did Bill Clinton.....

[Gravity]

"PHENTERMINE made something else also rise...and if I find that momma's boy poseur who's pretending to me in that other post, I'm gonna knock his freaking block off."--the real Hemingway

[Carrie in PA]

"Eees got da beeeg steefy!"

--Bjorn

"Jah!"

--Sven

[Carrie in PA]

*checks that off the list* Okay, that means Carrie did Bill Clinton.....

:roll: :roll:

[PeeDee]

"PHENTERMINE is the only reason Bob Dole get out of bed in the mornings. Bob Dole has to roll, or Bob Dole will balance on the tip of Bob Dole's homestate advantage!"
-- Bob Dole

[Carrie in PA]

"You guys are a bunch of freaks."

--Mac

[Carrie in PA]

"Four score and seven years ago... speaking of score, I scored me some PHENTERAMINE!"

--Abraham Lincoln

[PeeDee]

"Chopping down cherry trees? With PHENTERMINE, no one's chopping through any wood!"

-- George Washington

[Carrie in PA]

"D'oh! I shoulda taken PENTARAMINE!"

--Homer Simpson

[Carrie in PA]

"PENTERAMINE gave me night vision!"

--Lewis

"It comes in real handy!"

--Clark

[PeeDee]

"House. Tree. Love. PHENTERMINE. Brickentein. Soul. Truth."

-- James Joyce.

[Carrie in PA]

"How do I love thee, PHENTEREMINE? Let me count the ways! One little pill, two little pills, three little pills..."

--Elizabeth Barret Browning

[Carrie in PA]

"I think that I shall never see a pill as lovely as PHENTERAMINE."

--Robert "Bobby" Browning

[PeeDee]

"ONE! ONE PHENTERMINE! TWO! TWO PHENTERMINE! THREE! THREE PHENTERMINE!"

-- The Count.

[Carrie in PA]

"I love PHENTERMINE, PHENTERMINE loves me..."

--Barney

[PeeDee]

"Elmo is so strung out on PHENTERMINE, he smacked that Bird right up!"

-- ELMO

[Carrie in PA]

"Hee hee! PHENTERMINE gives me the giggles!"

--Pillsbury Dough Boy

[CBeasy]

Man, I miss all the good stuff while I'm at work! No fair!

[Carrie in PA]

"PHENTERMINE made Bert my bitch!"

--ERNIE

[Carrie in PA]

"Your tribe has voted. They choose PHENTERMINE!"

--Jeff Probst

[PeeDee]

"1110001010101011101001000000 PHENTERMINE 101011111000101010100101"

-- THE INTERNET

[Carrie in PA]

"There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't."

--THE INTERNET AGAIN

[aadams73]

"One PHENTERMINE...Two PHENTERMINE...Three PHENTERMINE...AH HA HA HA HA!"


--Count Von Count

[Carrie in PA]

"Somebody please save me from Al Gore!"

--INTERNET AGAIN

[PeeDee]

"PHENTERMINE is a little capsule of me. It cures everything. Except fear. Which doesn't exist."

-- Chuck Norris

[aadams73]

"P is for PHENTAMINE, that's good enough for me!"

--Cookie Monster

[Carrie in PA]

"PHENTERMINE stole my cougar!"

--John Cougar Mellencamp

[Carrie in PA]

"P is for PHENTAMINE, that's good enough for me!"

--Cookie Monster

HAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!!!! :roll:

[aadams73]

"Hasta La PHENTERMINE, Baby"

--The Terminator

[PeeDee]

"PHENTERMINE keeps my head up. Beep."

-- Stephen Hawkings

[Carrie in PA]

"PHENTERMINE is a abysmal. Dreadful. It'll never be a REAL drug."

--SIMON

"Yo yo yo dawg I'm feeling this stuff man, it just rocks my world! PHENTERMINE gets a Yes from me!"

--RANDY

"PHENTERMINE make me the woman I am today!"

--PAULA

[aadams73]

"PHENTERMINE keeps my head up. Beep."

-- Stephen Hawkings


Now that's really twisted. :roll::ROFL:

[PeeDee]

"PHENTERMINE helped me grow hair! On my lip! Neat!"

-- Dr. Phil

[Carrie in PA]

"Hey, look, there's hair down there, too!"

--Dr. Phil

[aadams73]

"Drink the PHENTERMINE."

--Jim Jones

[Carrie in PA]

"I meant on my LEGS!"

--Dr. Phil

[PeeDee]

"lololololo? Duh? Hum. Sprinkle, lolo? PHENTERMINE. la."

-- Paris Hilton.

[Carrie in PA]

"PHENTERMINE just keeps going and going and going and going..."

--ENERGIZER BUNNY

[aadams73]

"I WILL NOT GIVE YOU MY NAME BECAUSE YOU WILL TRY TO EITHER SLOW DOWN OR STOP MY COLLECTING OF PHENTERMINE FOR THE AFTERLIFE."

--The Zodiac Killer

[Carrie in PA]

"That's hot."

--Nicole Ritchie

[PeeDee]

"It puts the PHENTERMINE in the bucket! It takes the PHENTERMINE! It does what it's told."

-- Dude from Silence of the Lambs.

[aadams73]

"I need to vomit but I don't want to lose my PHENTERMINE."

--Paris Hilton

[PeeDee]

"OMIGOD! PHENTERMINE! As IF! Later!"

-- 1990

[Carrie in PA]

"Wingardium PHENTERMINEiosa!"

--Hermione Granger

[PeeDee]

"Our chief weapon is surprise! Surprise and fear! Our two chief weapons are surprise, fear, and PHENTERMINE! Three! Our THREE chief weapons...I'll come in again."

-- The SPANISH INQUISITION (DUNNNNNNN!!!!!)

[Carrie in PA]

"Yo yo, little wizard dudes, PHENTERMINE rocks!"

--Dumbledore

[PeeDee]

"Mexican Americaaaans, love PHENTERMINE! They take it and go to night school and get a D!"

-- Cheech Marin

[Carrie in PA]

"PHENTERMINE? Go to hell!"

--Chavez (http://my.embarq.earthlink.net/article/top?guid=20070122/45b444d0_3ca6_15526200701221274849495)

[aadams73]

"Alas, poor Yorrick, he should have taken the PHENTERMINE"

--Hamlet

[Rolling Thunder]

PHENTERMINE - works quickly, like a rabbit....or aadams73. :Shrug:

[Carrie in PA]

"What light through yonder PHENTERMINE breaks?"

--Romeo

[Carrie in PA]

PHENTERMINE - works quickly, like a rabbit....or aadams73. :Shrug:

Dude, it made you a distinguished gentleman!

[PeeDee]

I've just received a concerned letter from one of our viewers. Let's take a gander!

Hi, go PHENTERMINE! Ha! Ha!

My bananas get soggy and limp shortly after I bring them home. THey don't do this with other people, and I don't know what to do! I tried keeping them warm and in the dark, but that made it worse!

Help, friends?

Sincerely,
Squishy

Is there any help that we cna provide our friend?

[Rolling Thunder]

Dude, it made you a distinguished gentleman!
Better than being a diminished gentleman, I guess.

[Carrie in PA]

"Ohmigod, like this should TOTALLY be a book! Here's a contract!"

--PublishAmerica

[PeeDee]

Better than being a diminished gentleman, I guess.

It puts you head and neck above the rest!

[writerterri]

dorks.

[Carrie in PA]

dorks.

Could you please be more specific?? :D

[aadams73]

PHENTERMINE - works quickly, like a rabbit....or aadams73. :Shrug:

Dude, you need to take some PHENTERMINE. :D

[PeeDee]

dorks.

made BIGGER and BETTER by PHENTERMINE!

[aadams73]

"Everything's harder with PHENTERMINE."

--Bob Dole

[writerterri]

Could you please be more specific?? :D


Dorks.


mine's bigger. :D

[PeeDee]

Thanks to....PHENTERMINE!

[Carrie in PA]

"I know this isn't the Indies, but I don't care. Cuz I'm high on PHENTERMINE!"

--Christopher Columbus

[Rolling Thunder]

PHENTERMINE....Curly didn't. Larry didn't. Ah, but Moe? Slap your friends silly without using your hands. Be Moe.

[writerterri]

I'm upgrading you two to FREAKS.

[Carrie in PA]

I'm upgrading you two to FREAKS.

Could you be more specific?? :roll: Which two? RLLG and Pete, right?!

[CBeasy]

"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio, a fellow
of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy....if only he had taken PHENTERMINE, he might be alive today!"
- Hamlet

[PeeDee]

I think she just meant me. I've got enough freak to get on for two people, thanks to PHENTERMINE!

[writerterri]

Could you be more specific?? :roll: Which two? RLLG and Pete, right?!


You betcha, darlin'. :Shrug:

[Carrie in PA]

"Can't touch this!"

--MC Hammer

"What does that have to do with PHENTERMINE?!"

--PETE

"Um... nothing?"

--MC Hammer

"THEN GET THE HELL OFF MY THREAD!!!!!"

--PETE

[aadams73]

"Mmm... fried peanut butter, banana, and PHENETERMINE sandwiches, my favorite!"

--Elvis Presley

[Carrie in PA]

"Where the hell's the story, Pete?"

--PETE'S editor

"Uh.... would you like to try some PHENTERMINE?"

--PETE

[aadams73]

"Guess what's in the needle?"

--Haggis

[Bjorn]

Phentermine?

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeede.

[CBeasy]

You really should get Bjorn a couple of posts under his belt. Maybe in the games thread?

[CBeasy]

"Vini. Vidi. Vici. PHENTERMINE."
- Julius Caesar