Is literary writing more passive? More tell than show? I am throwing out this passage I'm working on as an example. I guess I'm not sure what my writing style is? This is a barking rough draft, so...
Her focal point blurred because of the bruise. The blood underneath her skin felt squishy. Not having a mirror, she relied on touch. Only the cheekbone on the upper side of her face felt sensitive. When she slept, she rested on her right side. Except when she heard him leave food at the bottom of the stair, then she’d purposely turned toward the wall. The damage he physically saw kept him away. Sarah wondered why she’d never provoked him?
Her focal point blurred because of the bruise. The blood underneath her skin felt squishy. Not having a mirror, she relied on touch. Only the cheekbone on the upper side of her face felt sensitive. When she slept, she rested on her right side. Except when she heard him leave food at the bottom of the stair, then she’d purposely turned toward the wall. The damage he physically saw kept him away. Sarah wondered why she’d never provoked him?