Common mistakes made by first time writers of romance

Gillhoughly · Feb 7, 2007

Thanks for the DS news!!!

I've met some of the cast members at various conventions and they're wonderful people. Ms. Parker & Kathryn Leigh Scott were especially sweet and gracious. There was such a genuine warmth from them for the fans.

And Jonathan Frid?? Oh, my. :Hail:

A gentleman and a gentle man.

I was finally able to thank him in person for an autographed photo he sent back when I was a teen who wrote him a gushing fan letter. Oddly, the letter wasn't for his DS acting, but a live theater production of Wait Until Dark. (Of course he played the bad guy!)

What a sweetie!

WildScribe · Feb 7, 2007

Anthony Ravenscroft said:
Then again, don't get carried away with gimmicks unless you're looking for unintended hilarity. Go Goooogle "infamous eyebrow" sorceress for gigglebait from Robert Newcomb's The Fifth Sorceress, a book that's an utter trove of delightful cheesiness -- the Amazon reviews are more entertaining than the book.

I HATED that book!!!!! I'm going to be simmering all night now... Sorry, it pisses me off that the plot resolved itself without the participation of the MC. What the hell is that????

ETA: I think the book that resolved itself is now the second in the series, which I was somehow talked into reading. The first one still sucked terribly, however.

Hey!! My review for the second book is on the first page and everything, and I wrote it ages ago!! Check it out:

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
Not worth the pain, May 2, 2005

After dragging myself through the first book which was ponderous and hard to become interested in, I decided to give #2 a try. BIG MISTAKE! I should have read all of the reviews first, because I would have learned what a slow, poorly written mistake this book was. The hero is a bumbling hothead who gets himself into trouble, and his friends, through amazing leaps of logic, devise the trouble he is in and how to get him out of it without telling him first. The villan accidentally kills himself at the end as the hero lies dying... not much of a struggle, there. It was frustrating to go through all those pages only to find that the characters could have sat on their butts and got to the same conclusion without going through so much trouble. Don't bother.

brainstorm77 · Feb 16, 2007

I dislike cookie cutter plots... You take one plot and just change the setting etc.... That really irks me...

Mae · Feb 16, 2007

brainstorm77 said:
http://www.eharlequin.com/cms/learntowrite/ltwArticle.jhtml?pageID=060901wz02001 here is the link.

Thanks for the link - it was helpful

brainstorm77 · Feb 16, 2007

Mae said:
Thanks for the link - it was helpful

You are quite welcome

Gillhoughly · Feb 16, 2007

The following is what I call a mistake, though it's closer to cliche than anything.

Characters who tuck strands of (insert color here) hair behind their ears, smooth out their skirts, tug, pull, and otherwise adjust their clothing, jewelry or whatever--make me cringe.

(Or wince. Depends on my mood: am I grouchy or really grouchy? And how many times have I seen that sort of thing today? You don't know, so don't take any chances. Excise them.)

I suppose the writer thinks this is a way to convey information about the character (hair color, how they're dressed, yadda-yadda) but it just tells me that they don't know squat about avoiding cliches.

It also tells me is their MC probably looks like an unmade bed.

Please dress your characters neatly, and allow that they probably know their way around grooming products so their (blond-red-brown-black) strands aren't floating around like Medusa's snakes.

Oh, yeah--no using a mirror to convey a description. That was ancient in the 60s--yes, I DO remember them!--when I first learned not to do that.

Sally stood before the mirror, her oval face formed into a slight frown (yikes!) and tucked a strand of blond hair behind one ear. She tugged at the collar of her silk blouse and smoothed her brown suede skirt, then checked zippers on her matching boots, and the catch on her 24-carat gold necklace.

It came as a terrible shock when a grumpy editor grabbed her from behind and dragged her from the mirror.

"Preening!" shrieked the wild-eyed editor, clearly in the thoes of a psychotic break. "YOU'RE ALWAYS PREENING!! WHERE'S YOUR FREAKIN' PLOT? HUH? HUH???!!! I'LL GIVE YOU PLOT, YOU SELF-ABSORBED TWIT!!!!! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!

The paper shredder buzzed with joy, greedily awaiting the coming sacrifice...

Josie · Feb 16, 2007

Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!!!

:e2smack:

Ooops, sorry. Is that another cliche?

But of course, as usual you are right!

jjo826 · Feb 16, 2007

Originally Posted by Gillhoughly

Sally stood before the mirror, her oval face formed into a slight frown (yikes!) and tucked a strand of blond hair behind one ear. She tugged at the collar of her silk blouse and smoothed her brown suede skirt, then checked zippers on her matching boots, and the catch on her 24-carat gold necklace.

It came as a terrible shock when a grumpy editor grabbed her from behind and dragged her from the mirror.

"Preening!" shrieked the wild-eyed editor, clearly in the thoes of a psychotic break. "YOU'RE ALWAYS PREENING!! WHERE'S YOUR FREAKIN' PLOT? HUH? HUH???!!! I'LL GIVE YOU PLOT, YOU SELF-ABSORBED TWIT!!!!! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!

LOL- Too funny.

Well I'm off to use the delete key on my manuscript to cut all references of clothes tugging and hair tucking.

Jen

ruecole · Feb 16, 2007

Of course, that doesn't mean your character should never look in a mirror. Just that using the mirror as a technique to describe your character is a no-no.

Think about what you look at when you look in a mirror. Do you notice the colour of your eyes or hair or skin? Only if it's different than it usually is. Most people, I think are more apt to treat mirrors like this:

The doorbell rang.

Meredith went to answer it, then stopped herself. She backed up and glanced in the hall mirror, checking her teeth for lettuce. Satisfied no greenery lurked there, she opened the door and beamed at the balding man standing on the stoop, holding a boquet of pink carnations.

JMVHO

Rue

brainstorm77 · Feb 16, 2007

ruecole said:
Of course, that doesn't mean your character should never look in a mirror. Just that using the mirror as a technique to describe your character is a no-no.

Think about what you look at when you look in a mirror. Do you notice the colour of your eyes or hair or skin? Only if it's different than it usually is. Most people, I think are more apt to treat mirrors like this:

The doorbell rang.

Meredith went to answer it, then stopped herself. She backed up and glanced in the hall mirror, checking her teeth for lettuce. Satisfied no greenery lurked there, she opened the door and beamed at the balding man standing on the stoop, holding a boquet of pink carnations.

JMVHO

Rue

GAWD she would be a horrid looking thing if she did not look in the mirror once in a while. LOL

Josie · Feb 16, 2007

Nice Rue!!

ruecole · Feb 16, 2007

Thanks, guys!

BTW, just wanted to add, I totally agree with Gillhoughly (in case she thought I was disagreeing with her) that preener totally deserved to meet the shredder for not advancing the plot!

Rue

CaseyMack · Jul 1, 2012

WildScribe said:
After dragging myself through the first book which was ponderous and hard to become interested in, I decided to give #2 a try. BIG MISTAKE! I should have read all of the reviews first, because I would have learned what a slow, poorly written mistake this book was. The hero is a bumbling hothead who gets himself into trouble, and his friends, through amazing leaps of logic, devise the trouble he is in and how to get him out of it without telling him first. The villan accidentally kills himself at the end as the hero lies dying... not much of a struggle, there. It was frustrating to go through all those pages only to find that the characters could have sat on their butts and got to the same conclusion without going through so much trouble. Don't bother.

I know this was posted a long time ago, but I wanted to thank you: I needed a good laugh, and this did it for me!

Silver-Midnight · Jul 3, 2012

flannelberry said:
I just read a book with a character who was dead in one chapter and it was all sad etc. but then alive - not resurrected, just alive about two chapters further along. I had to go back and check to see if I missed something. I hadn't but apparently the not first time published author, editor etc. had. That's a big mistake but it fit with the book (one big mistake).

How does that work?

--

I know this thread was created a long time ago, but it's still helpful(and funny), even if you're doing just a romantic sub-plot.

Robin Bayne · Jul 12, 2012

Jenny said:
Lack of conflict's my problem.

I peeked at the Harlequin page where the editors list their peeves (with manuscripts) and was abashed to find - the overuse of "gaze". Oops - off to replace that pesky word!

I think that's because we're always trying to avoid "floating body parts." We can't say "Her eyes flew to his" so we end up overusing "gaze."

Calle Jay · Jul 12, 2012

Biggest ones I've beta'd/edited...the ones that have completely unrealistic behaviors/reactions to situations.

For example... H laughs at h, she reacts by hauling off and slapping him...in reality, no man is going to accept that...no, he'd press charges!

If the character wouldn't really act that way in real life, I don't want to read about it in fiction.

Also, on a similar note, stories where the characters do something simply because the author wants them to rather than because the characters would do it in the situation they are in. So...out-of-character issues...

Dreadful Romantic · Jul 15, 2012

I can't stand head-hopping. It's one of the biggest no-nos romance writers are warned against and yet it keeps popping up, both in trade and self-published books.

I mentioned before in a long-ago thread that I hate heroes and heroines who unrealistically "have it all." The 25-year-old professors who have an extra 20 hours a week to spend at the gym to get those killer abs, the Green Berets with family fortunes -- they drive me nuts.

Nawlins · Jul 16, 2012

I sometimes think an author is so intent on advancing the plot that she moves the events along at a pace I find unrealistic. While it's true that the mirror scene above doesn't advance the plot, people do indeed check their appearances in a mirror and a skillful author can use that to advantage. It wouldn't be the preenscene above, of course, lol. It is a shame that women don't wear seamed hosiery as they did in the 30s or we'd have been able to get a look at her shapely long legs with that perfect tan.

Sorin · Jul 16, 2012

Dreadful Romantic said:
I can't stand head-hopping. It's one of the biggest no-nos romance writers are warned against and yet it keeps popping up, both in trade and self-published books.

I mentioned before in a long-ago thread that I hate heroes and heroines who unrealistically "have it all." The 25-year-old professors who have an extra 20 hours a week to spend at the gym to get those killer abs, the Green Berets with family fortunes -- they drive me nuts.

+2

The head hopping drives me batty and takes me out of the narrative every time, while the unrealistic situations give me an eyerolling-induced headache. :tongue

Filigree · Jul 16, 2012

Would you still be averse to head-hopping if:

1. The pov was clearly defined in the first or second sentence, and /or
2. The pov shifts are shown by a scene break?

I'm curious. Viewpoint skipping bothers me only if I can't immediately figure out the pov subject by context or outright declaration. Beyond that, I can handle a lot of jumping around. I know some readers can't, and I've been asked to simplify my writing, so I'm trying to be more clear.

Calle Jay · Jul 16, 2012

I think the head-hopping is only a problem when the reader can't immediately figure out who is doing the 'talking'. A scene break/line break, or even chapter break to show who the POV character is fixes this. After all, if there is a clear break then it isn't head-hopping, it's a POV shift...KWIM?

Sorin · Jul 16, 2012

Filigree said:
Would you still be averse to head-hopping if:

1. The pov was clearly defined in the first or second sentence, and /or
2. The pov shifts are shown by a scene break?

I'm curious. Viewpoint skipping bothers me only if I can't immediately figure out the pov subject by context or outright declaration. Beyond that, I can handle a lot of jumping around. I know some readers can't, and I've been asked to simplify my writing, so I'm trying to be more clear.

POV shifts as indicated by scene breaks don't bother me one bit. In fact, different POV in a story can fill the story out and make it more interesting (which is why I happen to prefer 3rd over 1st person).

POV shifts by sentence (in his head in one sentence and hers the next) is what will cause me to stop reading. I can still follow the narrative, most of the time, but the head hopping pulls me out of it. This is probably going to sound terrible, and I don't mean it to be because we were all there once, but when I read constant head hopping, it comes across to me as a work written by a beginning writer who does not yet have full control of the craft. I would rather try to discern the other characters' thoughts and emotions through their reactions in a scene, rather than "hear" their response as soon as the main POV character says something.

Filigree · Jul 16, 2012

That's how I feel about it, Sorin. Thanks for the clarifications, gentle posters.

Dreadful Romantic · Jul 17, 2012

Filigree said:
Would you still be averse to head-hopping if:

1. The pov was clearly defined in the first or second sentence, and /or
2. The pov shifts are shown by a scene break?

Scene and chapter breaks are fine; I do that in my own writing. It's the flip-flopping between characters' thoughts in the same scene that makes me put aside a story.

Rise2theTop · Jul 17, 2012

Yikes! I guess duel POV is out of the question for some...

Common mistakes made by first time writers of romance

Grumpy writer and editor

Slave to the Wordcount

practical experience, FTW

this is me - is that you?

practical experience, FTW

Grumpy writer and editor

Chronic Lurker

practical experience, FTW

Chronic Lurker

Write more; worry less!

~writes for Him~

Romance Novelist & Freelance Editor

Rollin' up my sleeves

Mildly Disturbing

Romance Novelist & Freelance Editor

Rollin' up my sleeves

Mildly Disturbing

To Live the Dream, Ya Gotta Feel It