Your wish is granted...

Annie O · Mar 25, 2007

Granted. You fly and fly, up and up, but you can't come down.

I wish I ruled the world.

AnnieColleen · Mar 25, 2007

Granted! Here you go:

I wish I could step outside the normal time stream & back whenever I wanted, to get more done.

Mandy-Jane · Mar 26, 2007

Okay, but remember, you go only go through three times a day. After that, you stay there.

I wish I could play the piano.

Annie O · Mar 26, 2007

Granted...but you're tone deaf and play it so badly that no wants to listen.

I wish I could use the pottery wheel.

Jaycinth · Mar 26, 2007

Granted. You use the pottery wheel to knock some sense into the bloke what took your parking space. Seeing how useful it is, you also use it to rearrange parts of his car.

I wish I didn't have to audit this stack of expense reports.

Meerkat · Mar 26, 2007

Granted. You don't have to audit them--just say they look swell; the Sarbanes-Oxley police that audit you will find anything wrong with those expense reports, for you.

I wish I had better command of the vernacuel-- vernak--- languij--- laing-- words and stuff.

Mandy-Jane · Mar 26, 2007

Okay, but unfortunately it's all in Swahili.

I wish I could arrange flowers.

Angelinity · Mar 26, 2007

of course you can, and not only -- you can also hear them, yeah, they tell you where each wants to go.

sometimes they fight over the best spots and it gets harder to keep things quiet. well, keep yourself quiet, coz no one else hears the flower talk but you... people start giving you a wide berth, and you don't get invited to Sunday barbecues any more... coz everybody you know has flowers in their back yard and you just can't help chatting to them....

i wish i could wake up already so i can start my day job.

TrainofThought · Mar 28, 2007

Granted: You’re up at 4:30 AM to get to your day job by picking up garbage in the parks.

I wish there wasn’t any allergy season.

Jaycinth · Mar 30, 2007

Granted. There isn't any allergy season. There now is THE allergy season.

Oh yessiree doodle. Global warming has spurred the world wide spread of quick growing blossoming forests. As a matter of fact, all grasses, trees and shrubs grow, flower and produce pollen 24/7/365. Arctic plants that have lain dormant through the last 4 ice ages are blooming with new, unfamiliar, and highly histimane producing pollens.

Look at all the pretty flowers.

I wish I get fried clams, potatoes, and strawberries for lunch

Meerkat · Mar 30, 2007

Granted: one fried clams, potato and strawberry smoothie, coming up (heavy on the, um... soyliva). Sorry Jay!

I wish I saw only the good posts, and not all those ones from the bad boys in TIO who gave me a swirly that time....

arrowqueen · Mar 30, 2007

Granted. Unfortunately this reduces your AW content to approximately 10 posts a day. Still, at least this gives you plenty of time to get on with your writing.

I wish the payments I'm due would hurry up and come in.

Mandy-Jane · Mar 30, 2007

Okay. But unfortunately, all your bills will come in too, at the same time.

I wish I never got stuck for words.

Angelinity · Mar 31, 2007

granted! you've got words coming out of ears, words you never knew you knew... in Turkish, and sometimes in Hungarian (coz the two are kinda related and you just love the way they sound, so that really makes it hard to stick to one language).

now, if you could only translate it in English, this novel is bound to be a bestseller!

i wish i knew exactly what is supposed to happen on 21st December 2012.

TrainofThought · Apr 1, 2007

Granted: On December 21, 2012, Santa will publicly announce his retirement and put his house up for sale, lay off the elves and give the reindeers to public zoos. Christmas presents will end while parents scramble to come up with an excuse to tell their children why there won’t be presents.

I wish I could recuperate from a hangover within an hour.

Mandy-Jane · Apr 2, 2007

There's only one way to do that. You have to concoct a mixture of strawberry flavoured milk, raw fish caught from the Atlantic ocean during a full moon, ice cubes, out-of-date chocolates, egg white and a dash of hair-of-the-dog. Shake it vigorously whilst repeating "I am not sick. I am not sick. I am not sick." Then drink it as quickly as you can. Your hangover will be gone within 7.5 minutes.

I wish I had neat handwriting.

Jaycinth · Apr 2, 2007

Granted!
No one has ever seen better representations of 7th dynasty heiroglyphics.

Too bad you will have your hands cut off for chiseling them into the lobby of the Cairo Hilton.

I wish I had one of those plastic singing trout, and that it would sing the 'Three's Company' theme song.

Meerkat · Apr 2, 2007

Granted. The firm that makes them was about to slip silently into bancruptcy; but you have given them new hope to hang on and reissue the things. And, being the trend setter that you are, now everyone wants one. Every office, every cubicle, every waiting area, every room in every home feature the trout and his inane tune, and the entire free world is turning into an insipid, Chuck E Cheese-meets-Fisherman's Wharf that we can't get out of our heads, easpecially when Mr. Roper or Don Knotts pop in and replace the at least pleasant view we imagined of pre-shopping channel Suzanne Sommers or the other one, whatever her name was. Thanks a whole lot, Jaycinth!

I wish I had a firmer grip on reality!

dancingandflying · Apr 2, 2007

granted. now you have no imagination, so you lose your agent because you can't write. now every one of your readers hate you because you can't write. lovely!

i wish i didn't have to go to school tomorrow.

d and f.

Mom'sWrite · Apr 2, 2007

Poof! You don't have to go to school tomorrow. Instead you can make breakfast for your family, clean up, make beds, go to work, come home, make dinner, clean up, do laundry, balance the checkbook, fix the squeak in the closet door, bathe the dog, clean up, get ready for the next day, write a report for the department, then fall into a coma.

I wish that my kids would participate in competitive tidying.

Jaycinth · Apr 3, 2007

Granted!
Except they read it as competitive 'TYE-DYING'.

See your house...look at the pretty colors!

......here, have some scotch.

I wish I could have beef swarma and mesclun with feta and green olives for lunch.

Meerkat · Apr 3, 2007

Granted. It's what they're all having for lunch today, in the Bosnia free-fire zone. Jaycinth, where's your helmet, soldier?! HIT THE DIRT!

I wish my works were already available on the shelf, with a really famous imprint, too. That's what I wish all right.

Jaycinth · Apr 3, 2007

Granted!

Before her last appearance before the judge, Courtney Love sat in a vat of Welches Grape Jam, and then sat on each and every page of each and every thing you have ever written, and it was all published just like that....

with that famous...doubly famous..imprint on each page.

I wish there were a hundred dozen of those little rubber duckies in the elevator of the building where I work.

MidnightMuse · Apr 4, 2007

Granted. Too bad, though. They were left in there, packed so tightly, for so long - they've melded together, bonding on the molecular level, into one giant - VERY PISSED OFF little rubber duckies.

And they're out for blood!!

I wish perfumes and colognes were never invented.

Jaycinth · Apr 4, 2007

Granted!
Everyone now bathes themselves in cigar smoke three times a day, and the soap smells like menthol cigarettes.

We won't discuss the new fad of munching on crispy garlic cloves all day.

I wish no one will notice that I pretty much blew off work to write sheep jokes.

Your wish is granted...

...fueled on Cadburys

Invisible Writer

venturing ever further into the unknown

...fueled on Cadburys

Your Cuddly Sociopathic

Claims the loan was a gift

venturing ever further into the unknown

absent

A flowering bud of bitchiness

Your Cuddly Sociopathic

Claims the loan was a gift

RIP, our sarky besom

venturing ever further into the unknown

absent

A flowering bud of bitchiness

venturing ever further into the unknown

Your Cuddly Sociopathic

Claims the loan was a gift

Is it tea time yet?

Service with a smile

Your Cuddly Sociopathic

Claims the loan was a gift

Your Cuddly Sociopathic

Midnight Reading

Your Cuddly Sociopathic