The Old Neverending PublishAmerica Thread (Publish America)

T42 · Apr 11, 2005

DreamWeaver said:
Isn't that a bit mean to the innocent fire ants? Fire ants aren't all bad. They like to eat ticks, which are horrible blood-sucking...oh.

Never mind.

Spit it out DreamWeaver! Just say what you really mean.
:welcome:

Sher2 · Apr 11, 2005

CaoPaux said:
IIRC, the Universe is believed to resonate in a certain tone resulting from the Big Bang.... Hmm, what's the sound of one glove clapping?

The sound of Moe-randa writing a new press release? Oh, no, wait -- that's one brick short.

If a Stooge falls all alone in the townhouse, does it resonate any sound?

T42 · Apr 11, 2005

Sher2 said:
The sound of Moe-randa writing a new press release? Oh, no, wait -- that's one brick short.

If a Stooge falls all alone in the townhouse, does it resonate any sound?

Does a bear poop in the woods, Little Missy? :ROFL:

MacAllister · Apr 11, 2005

2. Not to mention that "one or two" books multiplied by 11,000 Happy Authors equals, uh, many linear feet gathering dust.

fifteen miles of new shelf space every year, wasn't it, Cao? :roll:

Sher2 · Apr 11, 2005

T42 said:
Does a bear poop in the woods, Little Missy?

Do I look like a wildlife expert to you? If I ever get up close and personal with a bear, I'll tell you who I'll bet poops in the woods. :roll:

T42 · Apr 11, 2005

Sher2 said:
Do I look like a wildlife expert to you? If I ever get up close and personal with a bear, I'll tell you who I'll bet poops in the woods.

You had better stop laughing your a** off. Neither one of us can afford to lose any at this age. ( I got your message) Did you check out my vast knowledge of addresses? Hee, it's called bored during the elections and passionate! :whip:

Ed Williams · Apr 11, 2005

Sherry, to answer your question...

Sher2 said:
If a Stooge falls all alone in the townhouse, does it resonate any sound?

Wood hitting up against wood would make a sound....

Christine N. · Apr 11, 2005

Yeah, Zaz... where do you think I got the recipe? LOL.

It's me... Brownie Girl!

T42 · Apr 11, 2005

Ed Williams said:
Wood hitting up against wood would make a sound....

I may be old but I know you two shouldn't be talking about wood! :ROFL:

Okay, I'll just stand over here :gone:

Sher2 · Apr 11, 2005

T42 said:
You had better stop laughing your a** off. Neither one of us can afford to lose any at this age. ( I got your message) Did you check out my vast knowledge of addresses? Hee, it's called bored during the elections and passionate!

Trust me, laughin' beats cryin' any day of the week. What else are you gonna do when you got Stooges to deal with? And just so you know, we don't talk about certain things, like my butt, in public. Hey, what AGE are you talking about? Not moi!

Sher2 · Apr 11, 2005

Ed Williams said:
Wood hitting up against wood would make a sound....

Depends entirely upon the type of wood you're talking about. You know, you got your hardwoods, your soft woods, your junk woods. And then there are those woods they use on the golf course... :ROFL:

Sher2 · Apr 11, 2005

T42 said:
I may be old but I know you two shouldn't be talking about wood! Okay, I'll just stand over here

Damn, Mem, how old ARE you? Wood's a perfectly innocent subject. To keep it on topic, do you suppose Curlem's big ol' shiny head is really made of wood and filled with sawdust?

T42 · Apr 11, 2005

Sher2 said:
Damn, Mem, how old ARE you? Wood's a perfectly innocent subject. To keep it on topic, do you suppose Curlem's big ol' shiny head is really made of wood and filled with sawdust?

Curlem could be all wood and I can't talk about it anymore, other wise I'm going to be claiming the devil made me do it. Now really little missy...don't get me in trouble today! :tongue

Well, I had my first son in College and he is 31 and I have a daughter that is 25 and that's all the info you get! (Don't believe the article about my silver or white hair or whatever the heck it said. Dang can't remember, I was busy making casseroles and couldn't concentrate!)

AnneMarble · Apr 11, 2005

CaoPaux said:
IIRC, the Universe is believed to resonate in a certain tone resulting from the Big Bang.... Hmm, what's the sound of one glove clapping?

But does the iUniverse resonate?

Or is PA the only printer that resonates?

Sorry. Couldn't resist. Running away now.

:gone:

Sparhawk · Apr 11, 2005

An observation

I was pondering this thought as I was busy mixing Jenna a Margarita.

Maybe the people on the PA board are, well, you know, just happy with where they are and where they're going. IS this a possibility? A great many of them seem reasonable, well spoken yet actually beleive that their situation is both fair and equitable. Maybe there's some invisable ink in my contract that I failed to shine under a UV light, or some fine print that my aging eyes simply missed. OR !!! Maybe they're just happy with where they are.

I only say this after the episodes about having book displays in an eye doctors office or a hair dressing salon. People were more than willing to ship off their books NO QUESTIONS ASKED!!!.

I can only assume the following;

A. PA has the ability to transmit "Dope" via the internet through a cathode ray tube and directly into ones blood stream from a PC monitor. THis "Dope" substance alters the cognitive reasoning centers in the cerebral cortex thereby reducing the writers ability to detect the sour deals being offered.

B. There are several more newbies still in the "Honeymoon" phase of their PA experience. And reality will soon decend upon them like an anchor dropped from an ocean liner sinking their boat of literary hopes and dreams (Reference Caddyshack for a visual.. the Ted Night / Rodney Dengerfield boat scene.)

C. They realy truly beleive that they have "Arrived" and that it get's no better and they can NEVER be published through a traditional big publisher. Also that the "Movers and shakers are all watching the great things gong on at PA and shaking in fear."

D. Secretly they know that their work is not good enough and after several rejections from established Publishing Houses they realized that this is as far as their star will rise and they will not allow anybody to dare suggest that there is a better way of doing business because they already know that their overpriced book will never sell because it can't compete in a bookstore market.

OR Lastly

E. All of the above.

I dunno. or maybe I'm missing something. Well, I've got shoes to polish and a manicure to do.

-Gherkin the Cabana Boy

Sher2 · Apr 11, 2005

AnneMarble said:
But does the iUniverse resonate? Or is PA the only printer that resonates?

Sorry. Couldn't resist. Running away now.

Methinks the answer is a resounding (b). Don't run away!

CaoPaux · Apr 11, 2005

AnneMarble said:
But does the iUniverse resonate? Or is PA the only printer that resonates?

Sorry. Couldn't resist. Running away now.

iUnvierse resonates with a Lulu of a tone. So much so, you’d have to use a CafePress to get it into your BookLocker. :tongue

Sher2 · Apr 11, 2005

T42 said:
Curlem could be all wood and I can't talk about it anymore, other wise I'm going to be claiming the devil made me do it. Now really little missy...don't get me in trouble today! Well, I had my first son in College and he is 31 and I have a daughter that is 25 and that's all the info you get! (Don't believe the article about my silver or white hair or whatever the heck it said. Dang can't remember, I was busy making casseroles and couldn't concentrate!)

Devil's made me do a lot of things, Mem. I ain't gone to hell yet. Which article said you had silver/white hair? Was that one of those PA things where they addressed you as a man? Good grief, Mem, you COOK? You wouldn't want to adopt me, would you? :Hail:

T42 · Apr 11, 2005

Sher2 said:
Devil's made me do a lot of things, Mem. I ain't gone to hell yet. Which article said you had silver/white hair? Was that one of those PA things where they addressed you as a man? Good grief, Mem, you COOK? You wouldn't want to adopt me, would you?

Lord girl, didn't you read the article that Zaz let slip out? I could adopt you but we are going on a diet! (The police are on to me) :Smack:

Sher2 · Apr 11, 2005

Sparhawk said:
I was pondering this thought as I was busy mixing Jenna a Margarita. I can only assume the following;

A. PA has the ability to transmit "Dope" via the internet through a cathode ray tube and directly into ones blood stream from a PC monitor. THis "Dope" substance alters the cognitive reasoning centers in the cerebral cortex thereby reducing the writers ability to detect the sour deals being offered.

B. There are several more newbies still in the "Honeymoon" phase of their PA experience. And reality will soon decend upon them like an anchor dropped from an ocean liner sinking their boat of literary hopes and dreams (Reference Caddyshack for a visual.. the Ted Night / Rodney Dengerfield boat scene.)

C. They realy truly beleive that they have "Arrived" and that it get's no better and they can NEVER be published through a traditional big publisher. Also that the "Movers and shakers are all watching the great things gong on at PA and shaking in fear."

D. Secretly they know that their work is not good enough and after several rejections from established Publishing Houses they realized that this is as far as their star will rise and they will not allow anybody to dare suggest that there is a better way of doing business because they already know that their overpriced book will never sell because it can't compete in a bookstore market.

OR Lastly

E. All of the above.

I dunno. or maybe I'm missing something. Well, I've got shoes to polish and a manicure to do.

-Gherkin the Cabana Boy[/QUOTE]
[COLOR=Navy]Wow, you're really taking this Cabana Boy stuff seriously. Any chance of my getting a Margarita and a manicure? Nah, I thought not.

In answer to your questions, yep, I think E. takes final jeopardy. PA [U]has[/U] found a way to dole out virtual Soma, of that I am convinced. When the honeymoon is over, all they'll have is a bad case of cystitis.[/COLOR]

Sher2 · Apr 11, 2005

T42 said:
Lord girl, didn't you read the article that Zaz let slip out? I could adopt you but we are going on a diet! (The police are on to me) :Smack:

You have to adopt me now. I have the bong. Your stuff won't work without mine. I'm not dieting, either. You have to cook and you have to make leaded brownies. :partyguy:

AnneMarble · Apr 11, 2005

CaoPaux said:
iUnvierse resonates with a Lulu of a tone. So much so, you’d have to use a CafePress to get it into your BookLocker.

T42 · Apr 11, 2005

Sher2 said:
You have to adopt me now. I have the bong. Your stuff won't work without mine. I'm not dieting, either. You have to cook and you have to make leaded brownies.

Well, okay...I'll adopt you but if you get too fat I'm selling you to Gherkin the Cabana Boy and I'm keeping the {{{BONG}}} but only for medical purposes mind you.

Sher2 · Apr 11, 2005

T42 said:
Well, okay...I'll adopt you but if you get too fat I'm selling you to Gherkin the Cabana Boy and I'm keeping the {{{BONG}}} but only for medical purposes mind you.

Cabana Boy don't want me; he's too busy serving Jenna's every need. If I get fat, you can just sell me to the circus. Gawd, what are you cooking, anyway? To keep the bong, you have to find it first. Possession is 9/10 of the law -- or 6 months in jail if you get caught. :roll:

CaoPaux · Apr 11, 2005

AnneMarble said:

Meanwhile, back on topic...

On trying to join the Establishment:
http://www.publishamerica.com/cgi-bin/pamessageboard/data/general/2250.htm

More dissin’ from the media:
http://www.publishamerica.com/cgi-bin/pamessageboard/data/lounge/8749.htm

Message:
I called my local paper to inquire about my press release that PA sent off. The lady I spoke with was very rude and told me she had no idea what I was talking about but it wasn't her job to talk to PR people.' I then emailed her the email she and I had sent back and forth about the press release being sent. Her next reply was 'I'm not the person you need to speak with. I get 400 emails like this a day, I do not get paid to contact PR people and let them know what we will and will not run. Unless it is a major book, I don't know that you can expect coverage, and your publisher should know that.'

So MY reply to HER was 'I'm sorry to bother you, I was under the impression you were the correct person by your email response that Publish America could send the press release to you. Since I am a first time author, this is not yet a major book. However, I had hoped that my local paper would print a press release for my book, being that I am a local author. Could you please direct me to the correct person?'

She gave me the email of someone else but again told me that I can pitch my book to this other person, but unless they find a topic noteworthy, they do not recieve coverage. And being from here is not a reason to mention a local author's book.

This one speaks for itself, methinks:
http://www.publishamerica.com/cgi-bin/pamessageboard/data/newauthors/3182.htm

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The Old Neverending PublishAmerica Thread (Publish America)

Herb Lady

Auroraless ExPAtriate

Herb Lady

Tired and worried.

Auroraless ExPAtriate

Herb Lady

haz a shiny new book cover

Herb Lady

Auroraless ExPAtriate

Auroraless ExPAtriate

Auroraless ExPAtriate

Herb Lady

Nefarious Ghost Fan

Jenna's Cabana Boy

Auroraless ExPAtriate

Mostly Harmless

Auroraless ExPAtriate

Herb Lady

Auroraless ExPAtriate

Auroraless ExPAtriate

Nefarious Ghost Fan

Herb Lady

Auroraless ExPAtriate

Mostly Harmless