Comedy Cabaret I: Awaiting Mac's Ax

TrainofThought said:

How does Auntybug turn on the light after sex?

She opens the car door.

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auntybug said:

I miss Muse

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Me too

TrainofThought said:

I knew there was a reason for Auntybug's popularity.

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...

...

Oh, Buglet? Can I buy you a drink?

quickWit said:

AB is so easy...

Her mating call is "I'm sooooooooo drunk!"

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Pfffft... so's mine.

And most of my lady friends for that matter.

Inky said:

...and condoms...


just sayin'...

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INKY'S BACK!!!!!

Inky said:

Just stepped in for a quicky...er...

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*sigh*
The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Miss you loons!

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But you won't miss us, right?
Cos you're back, right?

...

*latches on to inky's leg*

Thanks, Inky.
***keys the new retinal scan security equipment to Inky's particular pattern, inputs Inky's DNA sample and enters the correct code to give Inky 20 hour 'permissions' to raid the good liquor storage facility***

ANNOUNCEMENT:

I know what Haggis was doing last year.when you finish viewing this, go to disneypictures.com and click on the trailer....


Busy week again as I have NO INTENTION of working Memorial Day(stop laughing, inks...I programmed that computer, I can reprogram it just as easily)

Jaycinth said:

Thanks, Inky.
***keys the new retinal scan security equipment to Inky's particular pattern, inputs Inky's DNA sample and enters the correct code to give Inky 20 hour 'permissions' to raid the good liquor storage facility***

ANNOUNCEMENT:

I know what Haggis was doing last year.when you finish viewing this, go to disneypictures.com and click on the trailer....


Busy week again as I have NO INTENTION of working Memorial Day(stop laughing, inks...I programmed that computer, I can reprogram it just as easily)

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Three words: Jamie Lee Curtis

Bmwhtly said:

INKY'S BACK!!!!!

*sigh*
The more things change, the more they stay the same.

But you won't miss us, right?
Cos you're back, right?

...

*latches on to inky's leg*

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*latches on to inky's other leg*


*glares are everyone in the room*

that is it then, right? no more flouncing!!
except you, thunder. (in fact, we've taken up a little collection as incentive. )


*stands in front of door*

seriously, that's it. no more.
anyone who wants to flounce is going to have to go through me first!

cray said:

*stands in front of door*

seriously, that's it. no more.
anyone who wants to flounce is going to have to go through me first!

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Alright everyone...let's have one line, single-file behind AB. One at a time please. Let's all act like adults.

cray said:

*latches on to inky's other leg*


*glares are everyone in the room*

that is it then, right? no more flouncing!!
except you, thunder. (in fact, we've taken up a little collection as incentive. )


*stands in front of door*

seriously, that's it. no more.
anyone who wants to flounce is going to have to go through me first!

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Inky said:

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I always suspected Cray wanted to get rammed.

Inky said:

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Wow, the 'Flouncinator 2100XL' Great work Inky. NEXT time someone wants to 'flounce' we'll stick them in front of that...then...as they give their 'flounce' speech.... we can 'ram' them into the next forum over...

***checks internet forums***

That would be 'Hamsterdance.com' I believe......

ok...yah yah...back to work.

Inky...I could use a little help here....

***ducks to dodge the spewing tropical rum drink that Inky lets fly before laughing her crazy shoes off***

Mumble mumble.....

This is the reason quickWit's boss lets him work from home on Fridays.

TrainofThought said:

This is the reason quickWit's boss lets him work from home on Fridays.

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pfft. nice try, tot, but you ain't fooling anyone. that is not qw!
the guy in that pic is in waaayy better shape.

Inky said:

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that's a big one.

TrainofThought said:

This is the reason quickWit's boss lets him work from home on Fridays.

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Aside from the hair and business socks on a Friday, that's spot on.

that guy is typing with both hands

cray said:

pfft. nice try, tot, but you ain't fooling anyone. that is not qw!
the guy in that pic is in waaayy better shape.

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For once, I was trying to be nice.

cray said:

that guy is typing with both hands

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Where as quickWit tries using his butt cheeks, but the keys get a little messy.

quickWit said:

Alright everyone...let's have one line, single-file behind AB. One at a time please. Let's all act like adults.

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I'm editing you asshat... not flounced!

**********
One day Quickie, the housework-challenged husband, decided to wash his Sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' She replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Arizona .'

auntybug said:

I'm editing you asshat... not flounced!

**********
One day Quickie, the housework-challenged husband, decided to wash his Sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' She replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Arizona .'

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2 things:

1) I was merely suggesting that you might enjoy a free shot at Cray as would everyone else that frequents this thread. Try and keep up. You'll enjoy things sooooo much more.

B) If you think for one second I'd ever wear anything but a Michigan sweatshirt you're obviously back on the pipe. Seek help. Remember...it takes a big woman to admit she's got a problem.

And believe me, AB...you are one ginormous woman.

quickWit said:

B) If you think for one second I'd ever wear anything but a Michigan sweatshirt you're obviously back on the pipe. Seek help.

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I knew you only wore Michigan, and I also know that you're not allowed to go clothes shopping for your children.

At her last status meeting Tot was being asked about the integrity of their system. When asked by her IT Director how many ports she'd made available for input she responded "Well, on average 2, but if I really like a guy and he buys me enough drinks that could go to 3."

auntybug said:

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand Quickie, Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN

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Why not save your breath and just pray for the angel of death to come and suck his soul out through his butt? It worked for me- I don't have to deal with grandma anymore.

auntybug said:

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand Quickie, Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN

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*Reverting back to 4th grade* You and what army?

TsukiRyoko said:

Why not save your breath and just pray for the anegl of death to come and suck his soul out through his butt? It worked for me- I don't have to deal with grandma anymore.

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I have no soul, so all you'll get is...well...quite a mess.

A guy was lost in the mall at the Washington Monument. He stopped a cop and asked, "What side is the State Department on ?"
To which to cop answered, "Ours, I hope."
***
The republican party emblem should be changed from an elephant to a condom, because it stands up to inflation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives a false sense of security while being screwed.
***
Q: What is the worst thing about our justice system?

A: You're leaving your fate in the hands of 12 people whoweren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

quickWit said:

I have no soul, so all you'll get is...well...quite a mess.

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Won't be my problem- I won't be doing the sucking. That's an issue between you and God

TsukiRyoko said:

Won't be my problem- I won't be doing the sucking. That's an issue between you and God

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Just so long as God knows how to get tough stains from a carpet, 'cause I don't think he's gonna want to deal with Mrs. Wit if he fucks it up.

TrainofThought said:

quickWit tries using his butt cheeks, but the keys get a little messy.

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Ummmm I thought that was CBeasey......