Favorite line you've written

vrabinec · Sep 3, 2008

Shady Lane said:
From Invincible Pig.

My HIV-positive MC listens to his pastor father's sermon:

I really like this one, Shady. Well done.

vrabinec · Sep 3, 2008

yttar said:
This is the last line from my 2006 NaNo, Like a Frothing Rabid Dog is Adorable.

I drank until my boyfriend lay dead in my arms.

Yttar

This is funny.

Ralph Pines · Sep 3, 2008

MC describing first meeting with possible love interest:

[FONT=&quot]Shewas hot! Not in a Page 3 kind of way, mind you, more like the girl next door without the creepy old man in robes. [/FONT]

Charlie Horse · Sep 3, 2008

Uh...yeah. Got to be careful my book doesn't go all X-Files on me.

Funny thing, though. When it comes to our government regarding people who have had specific paranormal experiences, they don’t want anyone to talk much about it. And on those occasions where these accounts do get around, the government counters with a scientific explanation so obscure most people will simply nod their heads and say, “Oh, I guess that explains it.”

WriterInTheStone · Sep 3, 2008

Cid Shinning’s business was bumping into people. On the subway, in the market, down elevators, up stairs, through tunnels, on buses. It’s what kept him alive.

scribbler1382 · Sep 3, 2008

Pretty impressive for a first post there WITS. Very Donald Westlake (if the subtext is what it appears to be).

And welcome!

vrabinec · Sep 3, 2008

WriterInTheStone said:
Cid Shinning’s business was bumping into people. On the subway, in the market, down elevators, up stairs, through tunnels, on buses. It’s what kept him alive.

Yeah, this is a cool line. So many good lines on here, I'm jealous. I'll put one of mine here, but it feels like I have ten thumbs.

"...and when the touch of her hand on his cheek felt a lot like sunshine then he knew that he was lost in those eyes, those eyes the cherubim drew."

Deccydiva · Sep 3, 2008

From "The Declan Diaries" set in rural Ireland.
This scene is where the young, attractive Suzy has arrived at the local vet's waiting room with two kittens in a carrier and her dog Deccy. Deccy is the narrator.

...‘Aye, that’s Deccy alright’ announced an old man with the Collie that he probably had as a child, leering at Suzy through his remaining teeth. ‘How does he like those cats then?’
‘He’s grand Mr Sheridan!’ snorted Suzy, moving further away to avoid the more basic smells of dirt and old age coming from the well-worn clothing or maybe it was the dog, it was hard to tell.
‘Ah, you can’t keep dogs and cats together, the cats they get into kennels you know, they’re like that, very bold’ Mr Sheridan looked around the waiting room, disappointed that he didn’t have a bigger audience to back him up.
‘Deccy isn’t in a kennel. He’s in the house. So are the kittens.’
‘Not in a kennel. In the house. Well that’s not natural. Jaysus, no wonder you live on your own, missy!’

J C Coy · Sep 3, 2008

He wouldn’t have been shocked had he swiveled his head and seen a black-cloaked horror, scythe parked on his shoulder, standing beside him.

RainyDayNinja · Sep 3, 2008

Writing a great line is the easy part; figuring out how to work it into the story is the hard part.

1: "Hey, show me that card trick."
2: "What's the magic word?"
1: "I think it was 'abraca'-something."
2: "... I meant say 'please.'"

underthecity · Sep 4, 2008

(I just like this one.)

His stomach was growling. Fried chicken would be nice. Extra crispy. His mouth started to water.

Charlie Horse · Sep 4, 2008

Don't ask why I find this so amusing.

He went back to the mini-mart, bought cigarettes, then returned to his apartment and smoked while he ate a can of tuna.

Donkey · Sep 4, 2008

From my WIP

I know it's short, but.....

Terry would have been a little put out if he hadn’t been so relieved to be alive.

Phoebe H · Sep 4, 2008

From my current WIP:

But after a lifetime of dancing thigh to thigh with impossibility, I knew that all it meant was that I had nothing to lose by taking chances.

Donkey · Sep 4, 2008

From my WIP

My absolute favorite line by this character.....

man: "You’re so aggressive, all of a sudden. I don’t know if I should be turned on or scared shitless."

lady: "Big secrets revealed, babe. It’s every girl’s most potent aphrodisiac. Followed closely by the promise of true love and then cash. Start blabbing. "

Mr Flibble · Sep 5, 2008

A man who really enjoys melting eyes can be a formidable debating tool.

Charlie Horse · Sep 5, 2008

...most souls in the In Between were attending the Awakening Fair. Held just once every so often, this was one of those can’t miss events because every so often doesn’t come around every day.

Chuck316 · Sep 6, 2008

A few phrases/lines from the 1st draft (currently being reworked into something completely different) of Every Vote Counts

1) I was suspended from the league for two weeks and barred from entering the bowling alley for the same amount of time after grabbing Felicia’s ass at the snack bar. It wasn’t really a grab, it was more of a “good game” slap for doing such an awesome job at buying nachos.

2) I mean, Paris Hilton took a break from making crappy music and night vision porn to write a book.

3) He was wearing a Yogi Bear costume. He froze when he turned from the fridge and saw me standing there. Neither one of us said a word. He took some bottles of water and the grape jelly and ran back upstairs.

LilliCray · Sep 6, 2008

Don't remember where it's from, but it's been tugging on my mind lately. Go figure.

He was... cute, I guess, but not the kind girls go all giggly over.

Charlie Horse · Sep 8, 2008

I'll do a Monday bump with this. Not sure I'll keep it but it was fun writing it.

My MC's been obsessively collecting data from the internet to prove the end times are near. Here he's explaining what he's been doing to his assistant.

“Got anything in there about the Jonas Brothers? Because if that’s not a sign of the end times I don’t know what is.”

Matthew stared at his stacks of notebooks for a moment. “Not that I remember, but the name sounds familiar. Are they a crime family or something?”

“You could say they’ve robbed an entire generation of their good taste.”

jmarz01 · Sep 8, 2008

Neat thread! I've enjoyed reading these.

This has struck my fancy lately:

Fear and love. These were the boundaries of me, the stuff with which I plastered over my former self until it was no more visible than the dead that hid beneath my father’s makeup. Both were exquisitely painful, and terribly mundane.

Jlv81 · Sep 9, 2008

Here's a lyrical line from a song I wrote with a band I once sang for.

Jesus said their ain't no rock n roll in heaven.

I think it is DAMN cool.

l8r Gods
VossMan

Charlie Horse · Sep 9, 2008

This seemed like a good place to leave off this morning.

“So what’s the plan?”

“I don’t know exactly, but I’m guessing it involves lots of weapons.”

Charlie Horse · Sep 10, 2008

I think current events are worming their way into my WIP:

Instant celebrity is a strange phenomenon that should be studied in full by those folks at big universities who study human behavior. The very idea seems to transcend all logic and reason and throughout history it has been proven that certain people have been able to get away with just about anything due to the fact they possessed that certain indefinable element that no one can quite wrap their proverbial fingers around. This phenomena had propelled less than adequate politicians into positions of great power, made billionaires out of mediocre businessmen, and created rock stars out of some really horrible musicians.

Diana W. · Sep 10, 2008

From my current WIP Psychic Witness. My MC Toby is talking to a nurse at the bedside of his Mother who is in a catatonic state and has been for some time.

“You know, when this happened, for the first year or two I kept coming here, hoping that I could say something that would wake her up. That there was some magic word and if I could just work out what that magic word was, I could say it and she would come back to me.” His words choked off as he recalled the raw emotion of his teenage years.

Favorite line you've written

Dipwad

Dipwad

Speaking in metaphors

Write For You, Edit For The Reader

Dipwad

Back from the dead

Finestkind

Speaking in metaphors

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble

Speaking in metaphors

Plot? What plot?

Speaking in metaphors

Justin Voss

Speaking in metaphors

Speaking in metaphors

I'm evolving