How to slow down

Milk the tension. See what causes it and what it does, then crank it up.

EXAMPLE: in a car chase, keep dropping obstacles so that it lasts longer. Don't just have "one car raced after the other until it caught up."

Look at your sentence construction. While short, sharp sentences will enhance the tension in a scene, they can also make the read feel rushed and choppy. Adding a few longer/compound sentences can slow down the feel of events unfolding.

Also, if you are talking about an action sequence, try reading it aloud and see if it feels like all the 'dots' are connected or are there missing moments that need to be there for the action to make sense.

Yes, do include internal thoughts and appropriate description. They will help slow/extend the tension.

Without having an example it's difficult to say.
Sometimes tension requires a fast pace to allow the reader to feel the pressure. If you stretch it out too much the reader relaxes when you want to keep them on the edge of their seat. Other times the tension needs stretching out so it gnaws at the reader until they are in agony over how and when the tension will be relieved. Only you can decide what you're hoping to accomplish in any given scene.

In my experience, when a scene feels rushed the author may be doing more telling that is ideal. Often if there's action involved, the reader doesn't get the POV character's internal monologue, only external reaction, almost like a movie script.

That's a major limitation in screenwriting, and a big advantage for novels. Get inside the head.

For example, say there's a car chase and your POV character is driving. He manages to steer around a tight corner, keeping the guy he's following in sight. All of a sudden, an oil drum rolls across the road, and he swerves around it, two tires leaving the road. All well and good.

But I want to feel his heart race, share his outrage/fear/anxiety over whatever he's chasing the other car for, be annoyed by the sweat crawling on his scalp, see knuckles on the wheel white with pressure, and all of it ratcheted up a notch when that oil drum rolls out in front of him and he knows he could have lost the guy right here--or died.

Maryn, who thinks she'll go chase somebody's car for the hell of it

If it needs to be slowed down, then literally slow.it.down.

Let your character(s) stop and smell the roses. Look through their eyes; what do they see and/or feel? By adding these details, it will add some richness to the scene and slow it down. How much of this detail you add depends on how much you want to slow.it.down.

I'll tip my hat to Maryn. Are you telling your readers what is going on or are you letting them climb into the POV character's head and experience what is going on? There will be times when you want to tell, but it's not always the extreme action scenes. Also, if you are whizzing detail after detail past the reader (squealed around this corner, dodged this car, went on the sidewalk on that corner, etc) it will seem like a laundry list of events, almost like a methed-out voice on a GPS device is announcing the action.

My first reaction to needing to slow a scene down is add beats. Of course that only really applies if the scene in question is dialog. Explanation of Beats.

I agree with ishtar'sgate though, hard to tell what would be helpful without and example. Why not post a bit in share Your Work, asking for help with slowing the scene down? The advice you get for the one scene will probably help throughout the novel.

ljcblue said:

Look at your sentence construction. While short, sharp sentences will enhance the tension in a scene, they can also make the read feel rushed and choppy. Adding a few longer/compound sentences can slow down the feel of events unfolding.

Click to expand...

I've heard the opposite; that long sentences feel fast because they leave a reader less breathing room (as if they're mentally running).

But now I'm confused. Perhaps I am misunderstanding. Could someone please advise on this?

Yes, long sentences can give a breathless effect and can be used to good effect in scenes of high action. I remember one in Koontz's Whispers that went on for a half page right at the climax. It worked.

Definitely don't forget what's happening in the POV character's heart and mind during an action scene. If all the reader gets is action descriptions, he'll feel suddenly divorced from the POV character just when he wants to be closest.

The Lonely One said:

I've heard the opposite; that long sentences feel fast because they leave a reader less breathing room (as if they're mentally running).

But now I'm confused. Perhaps I am misunderstanding. Could someone please advise on this?

Click to expand...

I think you are okay because (I believe) it can't really be determined by one sentence. It's the flow of the prose via word selection and sentence construction over several sentences, paragraphs, or more--really parts of a scene if not the entire scene--that has to determine this. That said, an abrubt departure form the flow of the scene can give an immediate and immense impact if done well (and stick out like a sore toe if not done well).

I haven't seen mentioned that a longer sentence tends to slow down a scene, versus short sentences, as well.

He ran down the driveway. Jumped in the car. Turned the key,and sped away.

Jason ran toward the car. He left the house in such a hurry that he'd forgotten his shoes. The gravel from the driveway digging into his feet reminded him of what an idiot he was to go without shoes so often, and to let the girl he loved, get away. He fished in his pocket for the keys as he reached the car door. Maybe he had forgotten them, too. He was good at forgetting things, as Maryn was fond of teling him. He deserved it, one too many Halmark holidays had gone by without out a card or gift. He pulled the keys from his pocket and unlocked the door. What if she was on the train already, and he didn't have a chance to tell her he loved her. He was a fool for letting her go, acting as though he didn't care when deep inside she was the only girl he had ever loved. Jason shoved the key in the ignition and turned it, and pounded the steering wheel when the starter clicked. He forgot to get a new battery. Maryn tapped on the passenger window glass.

"Going my way," she said.

Now granted this was hastily written. Jason is in a hurry, but the scene isn't speeding by. You know why he's in a hurry, and the angst he feels about himself and Maryn, and why she may have left.

Rowdymama said:

About the only really helpful critiques I've received on my work amounts to this: "In this (scene, passage, etc.) I felt rushed."

When there's a lot of tension going on, I do have a tendency to hurry. Does anyone have any hints about how to slow down? Should I add emotion, internal dialogue, what?

Thanks for any help.

Click to expand...

Make your words work for you. Choose them carefully. Find the best ones to indicate the tension and anxiety. An internal monologue from a POV character is a good way to show tension. Use rapid, jumpy, chaotic thoughts.

You can also stretch the moment out some by building up to the moment of tension with your prose. Set the stage, paint the picture, hint at the chaos to come until it actually arrives. Consider (depending on the POV) letting the reader know what's coming a little bit before the character(s) find out. Then make the scene as frantic as it needs to be by using the best active verbs, descriptions, thoughts, dialogue, etc.

I think a mix of slow and fast makes for the best balance but the percentages in that mix can vary depending on the type of book you are writing.

Beth