Last goes first:

Woof · Aug 7, 2009

"Yelled at me so gall durned loud, that he near busted my eardrums," she explained to the police, "so I picked up his huntin' rifle and shot him dead so's to shut him up. That 'aint no crime, is it?"

Nymtoc · Aug 7, 2009

"It all depends on what was in your heart," said the police sergeant empathetically.

Rulato · Aug 7, 2009

Empathetically, she watched the people being led away in chains to be sold as slaves among the various civilizations that inhabited the orbital habitats.

Woof · Aug 8, 2009

Habitats For Humanity were built within spitting distance of Habitats For Inhumanity, otherwise known as prisons.

Nymtoc · Aug 8, 2009

Prisons of the mind are the worst prisons of all.

Nightfly · Aug 8, 2009

All the way home they talked about it. How were they going to tell her?

Stella Omega · Aug 8, 2009

Her actions put the lie to her words.

Woof · Aug 10, 2009

"Words, words, that's all I ever hear from you!" she fumed, "just for once, I'd love to hear a little punctuation."

Nymtoc · Aug 10, 2009

"Punctuation is for weaklings," he replied, "When I speak my words flow like a mighty river filled with meaning that bursts through any dam that lesser minds may attempt to construct to impede the import of my overpowering and utterly persuasive superior ratiocination."

shakeysix · Aug 10, 2009

ratiocination can be found on page 146 of "the highly selective dictionary for extraordinarily literate people".( nymmie probably stole his copy from an athenaeum.)

Woof · Aug 10, 2009

Athenaeum head librarian, Nymtocrates stood at the counter and replied, "No I'm sorry, all of our copies of The Republic are out, but if you wish, I can put a hold on it for you."

Nymtoc · Aug 10, 2009

"You wouldn't happen to have a copy of the Charmides, would you?" asked Woofocrates, hoping against hope that he would have something spicy to read tonight.

shakeysix · Aug 10, 2009

Tonight I could not sleep because I had that infamous chorus from The Frogs going through my head: Brrrkehkehkehkeh-KOAXXX! KOAXXX!

Nymtoc · Aug 10, 2009

"KOAXXX is hardly heard anymore among cultivated frogs," said the frog. "Refined batrachians much prefer ribbit."

shakeysix · Aug 10, 2009

"ribit in english, rrivett en espanol," the spanish speaking frog explained.

Nymtoc · Aug 10, 2009

Explained to no avail, it turned out, because his listeners knew not one word of castellano.

Woof · Aug 10, 2009

Explained to him or not, the French amputee frog was the bitterest of them all.

shakeysix · Aug 10, 2009

all who enjoy frog legs will suffer unspeakable karma.

Woof · Aug 10, 2009

Karma not only ran over my dogma, but injured my feline so badly that she had to have a cat scan.

shakeysix · Aug 10, 2009

catscan piss wherever they want, turns out. and they eat the little birdies, too--s6

jilly61 · Aug 10, 2009

many birdies and they throw up too. Best

Woof · Aug 10, 2009

Best before date had expired and Emily was in a quandary as to whether it was safe to eat gooseberry jam with an expiry date of 08/09/09, that date of course being August 9, 1909.

Nymtoc · Aug 10, 2009

August 9, 1909 being the date Emily was born, she decided to go ahead and eat the gooseberry jam, whereupon she immediately dropped dead, exactly 100 years from the date of her birth.

Woof · Aug 11, 2009

Birth of a 144 ft. baby Bruhathkayosaurus was celebrated with great jubilation, although the occasion was somewhat marred when the newborn devoured his midwife shortly after the umbilical cord was severed with a chainsaw.

Nymtoc · Aug 11, 2009

Chainsaw Charlie escaped from the lunatic asylum last night, and citizens are urgently warned to lock their doors and bar their windows.

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